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RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/3/2006 8:12:06 AM   
zumala


Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline 		Huh... and here I thought the horrible lack of proper grammar and spelling was a mostly male affliction.  Oh well... equal opportunity and all that.  To be honest, I use that measuring stick on the Dominants that write to me.  I just... things like 'hi ur pic looks grt want to be my slutty bitch girl' just make my shudder.  Sometimes I even receive the occasional message that's so messed up I can't even figure out what they're trying to say.
 
My thought is simply: submissive or dominant, if you can't show a little native intelligence and manners, I don't give a fig what you identify yourself as.  I'm looking at the individual first and foremost.
 
zuma

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/3/2006 9:38:12 AM   
Pimpernell


Posts: 198
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline 		Join the club.  I'm not a real Domme either.

Bad grammar and writing can be a sign of a learning disorder, eg dyslexia, but they need to tell you about it early on so you can decide how to deal with it.  If English is not their first language ditto.  When I see bad writing it makes me want to bust some caps, but then I realise someone already has.

The minute someone throws out the line "you are not a real __________", you know you dodged a bullet.  Once in a while they are just having a bad day, but usually that person is so insecure that they cannot handle you as a real person and not a pawn in their fantasy.

(in reply to zumala)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/3/2006 10:01:04 AM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear LadyMorgynn, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I agree with those posting, that if they say you aren't a real [insert role here], they are not a real [insert role here] either.
 
Problem is, what is real to them is not real to us and vice versa.  However, communication is key to negotiations and if they cannot negotiate, they are a hazard to themselves as well as to me.
 
Of course, one can always invite them to see how 'un-real' I am, and they can see me unpack all the toys from the bags, the newspaper article of me in action, the people who know me--Then, let me at the person with rat and mice traps. [SNAP...mmmmmmmmmwhahaha]
Ok, I'll be nice [hides axe behind the back or a knife or two, single tails or canes??]] ...[[Mwwwwwwwwwahahahahaha]]
 
Respectfully submitted with a lot of wit,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/3/2006 10:47:44 AM   
cumbrianslave


Posts: 5
Joined: 8/20/2006
Status: offline 		Well i shall i add my tuppence (or dime lol) worth and say that is this sub possibly not a true sub?

i have engaged in many respectful dialogues with Dommes and Doms alike over small talk and intelligent talk and i cannot understand why so many so called subs act this way.

It may be their upbringing from an early age (not that i am defending this subs action or lack of them in any way) but if this is how he/she acts with a potential Domme goodness knows how they act outside of the lifestyle - i think this may be a case of good riddance and move on to someone who is clearly more capable of holding a conversation...

PS i can hold a really good conversation up until the 25th stroke and then i am gone...lol :)

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/3/2006 11:10:05 AM   
Kirei


Posts: 146
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Personally I have a  set of 5 simple questions that I ask anyone who I might consider to be potential.  If these are answered well enough they actually get to move into the potential ring.

  I actually like the ring idea because well its almost like being the circus trainer on here.  You have to know if the act will make good under the big in front of an audience before you put it there.   Most people just want to jump into the big top and forget it takes work to get there.  See simple and easy explaination.

Koneko

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/3/2006 11:18:46 AM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		I think some are far too into the fantasy to realize how much work goes into a real D/s relationship. Its just the same as a regular "vanilla" relationship and if you can't communicate with each other openly and honestly its just not going to work. Since I actually desire communication with my submissives as well, I must not be a "real" Domme either! Darn!

I guess I also get kicked out of both the "true" Dominant and the "true" submissive clubs because I'm a switch...

< Message edited by Lorelei115 -- 9/3/2006 11:33:46 AM >

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to Kirei)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/3/2006 11:48:52 AM   
degradess


Posts: 68
Joined: 7/15/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with the communication idea.  It's better to play with someone you can connect with on many levels, makes for much more fun because you are more relaxed around each other.

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/3/2006 12:28:53 PM   
YveGee


Posts: 39
Joined: 10/5/2004
From: Dallas - Fort Worth Metroplex
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

I mean, cripes! I'm not a real Domme because I want my slave (24/7 live-in!) to TALK!!!!



Don't you *know* that subs don't need to TALK!?! That's what the gag is for! Talking is a skill they don't need to acquire! No wonder he was confused about your Dommely-ness!

I didn't read anyone else's reply so please pardon me if I echoed a common refrain! Thank you!

_____________________________




If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. --author unknown



(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/3/2006 1:08:54 PM   
Sylph


Posts: 38
Joined: 8/26/2004
Status: offline 		LOL, well now I feel part of a club. My name is Sylph and I am not a "Real Domme".

Here are the reason that have been remunerated to me on why I am not a "Real Domme":

1) I do not want to financially support a boi who's only job it would be pee receptacle.

2) I going to abandon my partner because I realize another boi's "true submission"

3) I did not want to meet another after a couple of emails because-- OMG-- I have a busy schedule.  

4) I want to talk to a person. Why would I want to: see if they have a brain, are stable, could be a good fit before taking time to meet them.

5) I let my submissive have a professional career, have opinions and tolerate her sometimes snarky behavior. (For the record, I think she is cute. That is why I am with her.)

I could go on with the reasons that I have been given , but I am not sure there is enough bandwith.  :P

Edited to add:
OH and if you find the secret place where all the "TRUE" live, please tell me. I want to avoid it.

< Message edited by Sylph -- 9/3/2006 1:10:50 PM >

(in reply to YveGee)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/3/2006 7:40:56 PM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		Oh, you horrible person  you!!!  ROFLMAO!!!!

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to Sylph)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/3/2006 9:03:23 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear LadyMorgynn, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I agree with those posting, that if they say you aren't a real [insert role here], they are not a real [insert role here] either.
 
Problem is, what is real to them is not real to us and vice versa.  However, communication is key to negotiations and if they cannot negotiate, they are a hazard to themselves as well as to me.
 
Of course, one can always invite them to see how 'un-real' I am, and they can see me unpack all the toys from the bags, the newspaper article of me in action, the people who know me--Then, let me at the person with rat and mice traps. [SNAP...mmmmmmmmmwhahaha]
Ok, I'll be nice [hides axe behind the back or a knife or two, single tails or canes??]] ...[[Mwwwwwwwwwahahahahaha]]
 
Respectfully submitted with a lot of wit,
Lady Hugs


How could ANYBODY not love this lady?!?!?!?


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/3/2006 11:21:45 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

So there's this sub who has been emailing me on and off for several weeks now, wanting to serve Me.  I send him question after question designed to elicit thoughtful responses, and all I got back were brief, incomplete sentences of a few words each.  So I finally sent him a nice note saying I was looking for someone who could converse with me.... so I start getting these emails from this guy that I'm not a "real" Domme, and obviously I'm not really serious, etcetera etcetera etcetera.

I mean, cripes!  I'm not a real Domme because I want my slave (24/7 live-in!) to TALK!!!!  well, just fie on me <slapping self for being so wimpy>

Honestly!!!!  <rolling eyes>

okay, end of rant <laugh>


I suppose on the plus side, he actually used complete sentences???

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/4/2006 1:29:39 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greeting

lol i had someone write me a long so long letter he said he was being blackmailed so he would not send his picture i thought this as very strange i do not ask for a picutre and then when i told him i thought he was something wrong i am now not a domme either lol what nuckles head do i will find that one lol ready do not ask to many quetions lol

mons take care

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/4/2006 5:01:22 AM   
felicitousdove


Posts: 45
Joined: 8/7/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Makes me think of aline from the movie Hope Floats:

"We have to love all of gods creatures. Some of them just look better stuffed!"

Consider this when dealing with people who push your buttons!

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/4/2006 8:52:04 AM   
MsSkylar


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/9/2005
Status: offline 		Many are 'do me' subs.. used to going to a pro, getting naked and standing there with a smile, they have no idea about D/s and that we aren't getting paid and one can have an actual relationship !!

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/4/2006 10:01:18 AM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		Okay ... here I go sounding off again *lol*.  I get the 'you're not a Dom' all the time on the simple basis that I prefer someone with a brain (clarification: One that WORKS).  I also have had slaves that had jobs outside the home.  It made her feel appreciated and special.  Those qualities led to a much deeper relationship between her and Me and her and My Husband.  I have also been told that I am too ... friendly ... when I first meet them.  The last one, I told her that image is in the mind, reality is what counts.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to MsSkylar)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/4/2006 10:08:09 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		As of this morning, I was told that I am not a real domme, becasue I have chosen to own ONLY one pet.  Obviously, without a stable of mindless drones mulling about waiting for me to bark an order, I cannot be real.  This slave went on to tel me how a true Domme NEEDS to have a stable of ready and wiling men in order to be happy. The sheer idea that when i was looking, I insisted on a vanilla first meet and no scenes or play until at least the second netted me plenty of "your a fake" messages too. But I rather liked this one.
So for all of the others out there that only own one... We are all fakes, and we arent happy. Just thought Id give you all the heads up on our unfortunately situations.  *boohoo*

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to DivaDuchess)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/4/2006 11:52:05 AM   
Contesaluv


Posts: 173
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

I'm wondering if I have been contacted by the same guy or is it just a common theme online these days.

I have had the same thing happen before... you attempt to establish real dialog & all you get is incoherent babble followed by the classic "sour grapes syndrome".

The brain is the most erotic aspect of my being... if they can't stimulate this, the rest of their talents are pointless.


Again, I say well put.  It's just part of the weeding process unfortunately that we have to endure.  Just think though, that's what makes the one that you find who has a good majority of the things you want, including good conversationalist, a joy and a possible keeper.  (After several tests and many disclaimers that is...lol!)


_____________________________

Mistress C.

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
William Shakespeare
------------------------
In a world of so many variables, why do you have to be the norm? Anonymous

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/5/2006 2:27:18 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		I am not a Real Domme because:

1.  I eat quiche.

2.  I don't wear a latex corset and 6" high heels to the library or to the post office.

3.  I'm not going to do you right this second exactly the way you want to get done.

4.  I actually have a life outside of kink.  I will not put my life on hold to be a cardboard cut-out prop for a stranger's BDSM fantasy that obviously has nothing to do with me.

I'd say that about sums it up in most cases where a sub cries, "But if you don't do this, you're not a REAL DOMME!"

(in reply to Contesaluv)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: OMG! I'm not a real Domme!!! - 9/5/2006 5:37:39 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		You know you are not a real Domme when

~ you wont cyber on the first email contact
~you wont scene over the phone
~you expect reality in the world with a sub/slave
~you fart, burp, shit, menstrate, have moods, have food cravings, get zits, dont wear makeup 24/7..............

Well you all get the idea.......lol

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 40
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