RE: Would you still love them

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Would you still love them

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Would you still love them

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Would you still love them - 9/4/2006 2:41:37 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

I feel the same way.

I don't really get much from dwelling on the *what if's* of situations that will never arise.

I have an M/s relationship, I couldn't possibly imagine how it would be any other way as there's never BEEN anything other than that.

agirl

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Profile

Post #: 61

RE: Would you still love them - 9/4/2006 4:32:39 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

I doubt that he'll still be tying me up when we're 85. But he'll still be the same man, who has the courage of his convictions, the ability to make the hard decisions and take the heat. And that part, which is to me his natural dominance is more important than the play.

However, until we're 85 I plan to get as much play as possible!

(in reply to LotusSong)

Profile

Post #: 62

RE: Would you still love them - 9/4/2006 6:15:24 PM

liljoy

Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline

LotusSong
To me this looks like you are saying that D/s or M/s is something that we do. i see it as something that we are. If i were with a Dominant that could no longer swing a flogger or stick needles in me. He would still be a Dominant. If i were no longer able to kneel at His feet or serve Him in other ways. i would still be a submissive. It's what we are not what we do in my book.
If i am misunderstanding Your post please clear it up for me.
lil_joy

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

OK.. Let me know you. Are you more than one dimensional so that if you lost that you find you have no worth? That people would find you unlovable? I think you may even have discounted your partner as being so shallow that "dominance" is all you are worth. (oops.. you are stilllooking for a submissive/slave) But go ahead, be defensive... you probably have your reasons. Ok... no... It’s not sad. No it's to be celebrated that you know..if you lost your ability to dominate.. you would be a non-entity. Consider me enlightened and noting it in my nightly journal entities.

It's interesting that I haven't seen one sub female that would toss out a male dom (so far) if they no longer could deliver.

Please notice.. I didn't even have to use one "fuck" in this post.. although I wanted to.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Profile

Post #: 63

RE: Would you still love them - 9/4/2006 7:02:50 PM

BeingChewsie

Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline

You took the words right out of my mouth. We wouldn't have a "relationship" to begin with. We are not *romantic partners* even though we care for one another deeply, we are Owner/property. We have many shared interests and we enjoy one another immensely but remove the O/p dynamic and we wouldn't be together because it is who we are and how we live.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

If you took out the M/s or D/s dynamic, we wouldn't be who we are.

This is a little bit like those questions we asked each other in high school and college: Ummm, if Sally got into a really bad accident and couldn't walk ever again, would you still stay with her?

Sure, she could still give blowjobs.

OK, but suppose like she couldn't give blowjobs anymore either.

I don't see the value in asking yourself questions about imaginary situations that can't ever be real. Loving me means loving d/s, because I'm not going to be in any other kind of relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LL1aintbehavin

If you took the M/s or D/s dynamic, and the bdsm out, do you still love the person for all of their other qualities?

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Profile

Post #: 64

RE: Would you still love them - 9/4/2006 7:06:05 PM

WhippingPostNY

Posts: 46
Joined: 9/2/2006
Status: offline

I have still loved her ... always,

M

_____________________________

In a bedroom locked ... whispers soft. Refusal. And then ... surrender.

(in reply to LL1aintbehavin)

Profile

Post #: 65

RE: Would you still love them - 9/4/2006 7:33:11 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: liljoy

LotusSong
To me this looks like you are saying that D/s or M/s is something that we do. i see it as something that we are. If i were with a Dominant that could no longer swing a flogger or stick needles in me. He would still be a Dominant. If i were no longer able to kneel at His feet or serve Him in other ways. i would still be a submissive. It's what we are not what we do in my book.
If i am misunderstanding Your post please clear it up for me.
lil_joy

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

OK.. Let me know you. Are you more than one dimensional so that if you lost that you find you have no worth? That people would find you unlovable? I think you may even have discounted your partner as being so shallow that "dominance" is all you are worth. (oops.. you are stilllooking for a submissive/slave) But go ahead, be defensive... you probably have your reasons. Ok... no... It’s not sad. No it's to be celebrated that you know..if you lost your ability to dominate.. you would be a non-entity. Consider me enlightened and noting it in my nightly journal entities.

It's interesting that I haven't seen one sub female that would toss out a male dom (so far) if they no longer could deliver.

Please notice.. I didn't even have to use one "fuck" in this post.. although I wanted to.

You SORT of have it.. I think with allthe "acceptance" the lifestylers portend to show, when it comes down to it.. if they found themselves unable to participate in the lifestyle..they come across that they would cease to exisit.. or they just could not love the person they were with if they were unable to play with them.

For example.. I am a Domme and I will always be.. it's not what I do..it's what and how I think. It is not contingent on how many slaves I have or if I can do the games...(this is pretty much what you said and I agree).. Maybe I am reading it wrong.. but I'm interpreting it as.. if a Dom has a slave and the slave no longer can play.. they just toss them aside. "Nope can't even like ya.. you broke"

The answer to this question is that no one will know until it happens to them.

It HAS happened to me AND slave. He had two surgeries inwhich he could not play.. but I felt more in tune ane protective of him that I would otherwise. he healed.. we got back to to normal.. it happened to me two times also. He felt the same about me. It is sort of like a gradual scale down of activities. We have the age thing progressing also... so I' don't expect a 30 somehthing to get the feel of this until they have it happen.

On the inside, we didn't change. The dynamic remains naturally.

I hope this helps clear it up.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to liljoy)

Profile

Post #: 66

RE: Would you still love them - 9/4/2006 10:26:04 PM

Wolfie648

Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

I guess it takes all kinds.

Let's all hold hands and sing Kumbaya!

Whooo.

D (owner of j)

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Profile

Post #: 67

RE: Would you still love them - 9/4/2006 10:35:55 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Yeah, you really do seem to think of "participating in the lifestyle" as approximately the same thing as "having kinky sex," and that's why so many people are disagreeing with you (aside from the fact that you seem cocksure of your opinions and disdainful of anyone else's).

I don't participate in a lifestyle; I don't "put out the dominance stuff"; and if God forbid I had to undergo some kind of debilitating surgery, it wouldn't change the fact that I'm dominant. You cannot remove the fact that I'm dominant. The question wasn't whether my slave would still love me if I didn't flog her. It was whether she would still love me if you removed the master/slave dynamic. And that's an impossible question to answer, because you cannot remove the master/slave dynamic and still be talking about ME.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

You SORT of have it.. I think with allthe "acceptance" the lifestylers portend to show, when it comes down to it.. if they found themselves unable to participate in the lifestyle..they come across that they would cease to exisit.. or they just could not love the person they were with if they were unable to play with them.

[snip]

It HAS happened to me AND slave. He had two surgeries inwhich he could not play.. but I felt more in tune ane protective of him that I would otherwise. he healed.. we got back to to normal.. it happened to me two times also. He felt the same about me. It is sort of like a gradual scale down of activities. We have the age thing progressing also... so I' don't expect a 30 somehthing to get the feel of this until they have it happen.

On the inside, we didn't change. The dynamic remains naturally.

I hope this helps clear it up.

< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 9/4/2006 10:36:59 PM >

(in reply to LotusSong)

Profile

Post #: 68

RE: Would you still love them - 9/5/2006 12:01:12 AM

Mavis

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
The question wasn't whether my slave would still love me if I didn't flog her. It was whether she would still love me if you removed the master/slave dynamic.

Exactly what i thought the question was. in fact, Hubby doesn't flog, will not do ANY of the classic BDSM play cept enthusiastic doggie style and that does not even include a spank on the ass. i wasn't equating this question with "lacking play" i took it as lacking Headship, consentual Dominance, negotiated mutual power exchange, etc.

When i said Nope.. it was to the idea of loosing the constraints of Dominating within certain parameters, with a known set of expectations.. and nope, without that, all bets are off. If He has a dominant personality type, it can be Dominant, or domineering.. if you took away the desire to care and protect, what's left is "pushy self-centered asshole".

In O/our home, S&M is at His option, and His choice is no. No matter how much i might desire it, it's His hard limit, and will ever be. Lack of play doesn't affect my love one bit, but lack of D/s would be end game.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Profile

Post #: 69

RE: Would you still love them - 9/5/2006 2:21:02 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

~ Fast Reply ~

As some others have said, it's irrelevant. If he were not dominant, I would not have met him or been attracted to his dynamic. The same applies if I were not a slave. We would have never met. He was looking for a slave/property, not a girlfriend/lover/romantic partner. If I chose not to submit anymore, I would not be his slave...as is exactly what happened with his former slave. They still love each other, but they are friends, not Master/slave, not girlfriend/boyfriend.

I suppose if he suddenly were no longer dominant, he wouldn't have a need for a slave, so I would not be his. I would still love him, but I would not be his slave/girlfriend/lover/partner/etc......

Master's desire and talent for use of a flogger or any other tool is not what makes him a Master. The way he chooses to enjoy sex is not what makes him a Master, either. What makes him a Master to me is his ability and desire to exercise control and authority, using the most powerful tool there is - the mind. If he chose not to utilize that tool anymore, it would not make him who he is, as I know him to be. Therefore....what I said above.

(in reply to Mavis)

Profile

Post #: 70

RE: Would you still love them - 9/5/2006 3:04:14 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LL1aintbehavin

I guess this is mainly directly at the couples that are in a 24/7 relationship with their significant other, be it any orientation.
If you took the M/s or D/s dynamic, and the bdsm out, do you still love the person for all of their other qualities?
Real life is not naked in chains and being flogged 24/7, and there has to be something else that keeps you together, at least in my mind.
Do you have common interests?? Do you like their personality, their intelligence?? Their heart??? What is it that makes them special on a human personal level??
I may get misinterpreted in this, but I mean are they they kind of person you would love on any level, just having the dynamic present in the relationship makes it more special and deepens the committment?
Is that person the most amazing person you have ever met in or out of the lifestyle?

If the M/s dynamic waned or dissipated I would still remain with him. The aspects of his personality, character, and common interests supercede his dominance. It was never the dominant that drew me to him, but the man that lurked within. The power exchange is not the cement that binds, but merely one element.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to LL1aintbehavin)

Profile

Post #: 71

RE: Would you still love them - 9/5/2006 3:15:45 AM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

We always have. My husband and I have always loved the slave beyond and above the bedroom, regardless of who she is, she's loved first. Love is one of the most intense ways to bring trust into the D/s relationship, bringing on new levels in and out of the bedroom ...

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Profile

Post #: 72

RE: Would you still love them - 9/5/2006 4:04:35 AM

Hercuckslave

Posts: 103
Joined: 5/21/2006
Status: offline

i decided long ago not to date outside my species. when i met Mistress i was indeed looking for a Mistress, and she for a slave. We are blessed to have found each other. we share many interests both within and outside of D/s. We are best friends, soul mates, coprotectors, companions, lovers, and yes, Mistress and slave. Would I still love her without the D/s??? Of course....I will always love her. Would she still love me? My guess is yes as well...she will always love me. Could we still have a loving and intimate relationship together without the D/s??? my guess is no. While it is not the only thing we share, it is something that is indispensable. We have all seen relationships that went separate ways regardless of the love shared between the involved parties. Sometimes love isn't enough. D/s is a deep part of who I am, it is my sexuality, and it is a need in my life. that is why as stated above, i decided long ago not to waste my time dating outside of my species.

but as so many others stated before me on this thread, it is a moot point. We both are M and s in our hearts. It is a part of who we are, and neither one of us could simply "take it out" of our lives.

M's m

(in reply to LotusSong)

Profile

Post #: 73

RE: Would you still love them - 9/5/2006 10:33:25 AM

Argentopal

Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline

Since we had been married for 17 years prior to moving into a 24 7 D/s dynamic I would have to say YES. We have so many things in common, yet have enough differences to keep our lives interesting. I listen to him talk about computers and his work and he listens to me when I report on West Wing or Project Runway as if it made some difference in my life! lol! RThank goodness after 17 years of marriage we were on opposite sides of the Ds dynamic ( or maybe if we had not been all along we would not have already been together that long!).

MsOpal aka Daddy Argent's babygirl

(in reply to LL1aintbehavin)

Profile

Post #: 74