quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

What a load of hogwash.

If you are supposedly experienced enough to "train" someone (which is bullshit in and of itself) then you should be able to spot someone who is emotionally needy or vulnerable and then politely tell them they aren't ready for your amazingly wonderful services.

Most who offer to "train", "mentor" and anything else other than simply saying "I want to fuck/play/use you once in a while are full of shit unless they are doing this in the same room as you.  Of course there are exceptions, but there are also born again Christians who aren't assholes and I am sure there is a white supremacist somewhere who is a kind caring sort of fellow too.

Since by definition, these sorts of predators seek out inexperienced people (I mean who else would fall for this shit) they if they are "good" then should expect the sort of problems inexperienced people tend to have and keep things at a level where these sort of bonds don't form.

As for the original poster, do yourself a favor, and buy yourself two very cheap books, both from Greenery Press.  The Bottoming Book as well as The Topping Book and you will know more about D/s and S&M than most posters here on CM.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO
She didn't know what the word "Trainer" meant in the bdsm world.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Homestead: Don't tell anyone this, but that is why I only read my e-mail every 4 days now (if that often). I found myself getting jaded, and not paying individual attention to letters if they sounded at all like one I'd just received. It seemed like burnout to me - I had to step back, so I could see with fresh eyes. Because every single person really is different (I think). So far, it's working.

- SDusan

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO
She didn't know what the word "Trainer" meant in the bdsm world.

So that means that she submitted to someone...and she did it long enough to become attached and jealous....and she didn't even know who or what the person was. This doesn't seem like something that played out over the last week...Valentine's day was a LONG time ago. This has been ongoing and I would suspect that there is a lot more to this than what we are getting. At any rate, it sounds alot like someone got dumped and is bitter and taking revenge by posting all the dirty truths on a message board.

I say it often because it's true......a little common sense goes a long way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Homestead,

I agree that people should be responsible for their actions.  The OP is clearly naive and had hidden expectations for the relationship.

However, if you are setting yourself up as the one who is supposedly "knowledgeable" whether as Dominant, Trainer, Fuckbuddy, if you supposedly know enough to fill THAT roll and yet can't see into the other person deep enough to see the trouble brewing then by definition you don't know enough to be wearing that hat.

Trainers and mentors (the names themselves should be red flags) are not setting themselves up as equals in a relationship, cause uhm, then what would the point of having a trainer/mentor be after all, they are setting themselves up as the roll of teacher to student.  We don't allow teachers to fuck students do we?  Why not?  It isn't age, because the rule exists at Universities as well.  The reason is because of the undue influence and supposed greater knowledge/understanding posses by the teacher. 

So in my book, if you don't know enough to see what is going on in the one you are "teaching" then either you are thinking with your little brain or you your brain is too little.  Either way, you deserve whatever misery comes your way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Homestead,

So your pattern is to choose women who all stalk you.  The problem isn't them, it is you and the way you choose partners.  I can see why you would have sympathy with another dominant with a similar problem.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Homestead: Wow, that's too bad for people who had absolutley nothing to do with that situation, isn't it? Your a grown up guy, though. I understand it, but I'll bet there are some walking around  affected by it, who are just plain mystifid by it, and possibly damaged a little due to it.

- Susan

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO
mistoferin: Well, those dirty truths so far don't even include anyone's first name, so it's sure not gonna make me cringe a lot. I think she's venting which can be good for people. I want to know why some are always so willing to jump in someone who is hurting. Why not just say nothing? Or at least - ask for the facts. I keep hearing: "It souunds like she..." if people really want to know more, they can ask her -  she is right here. Then they can proceed with the jumping and unhelpful "you should have known better" talk, hehe.

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

Yes Homestead, it's not very nice to make sport of someone else's misfortune.
Cold-hearted and small people do those types of things.

quote:

You really have a one track mind on this subject. How can you "choose' someone who is going to end up stalking you?

Do they have "stalker' tattooed on thier foreheads?  You must think people are astoundingly simple.

quote:

I agree that people should be responsible for their actions.  The OP is clearly naive and had hidden expectations for the relationship.