The great gift/tribute/money domme question

The great gift/tribute/money domme question (Full Version)

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servantanthony -> The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 1:48:34 PM)
Is it the tired eyes of a submissive losing the faith or has the world of BDSM changed? It seems in my eyes, that money domination is taking a more prevelant part in BDSM life. These days even if not mentioned in the profile it is not uncommon for a Mistress to 'demand' so called financial gifts in order for males to talk to them. Is there anyone who is still interested in the old values of bdsm, the actual power exchange or is this world just about money?

Lashra -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 2:17:04 PM)
I don't give a crap about money, gifts or tribute. I make enough money on my own and I know there are other Dommes on this forum who are the same way. I have a sub and he serves me well, thats all that matters to me. Unfortnately yes there are Dom/mes who care for nothing but money/gifts and people like that are to be found in all walks of life. Keep searching you will find the one for you. ~Lashra

littlesarbonn -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 3:15:31 PM)
I actually don't think money domination is as prevalent as you may perceive that it is. What you are experiencing is perception bias, which is caused by noticing that the easiest path to achieving what you desire is through the noise caused by dominants who advertise seeking your money. Finding someone who isn't a money domme is a longer path, which means you have to participate in forums, seek out partners from real communities, and explore avenues that a simple phone call isn't going to allow you to achieve in an easy manner. The women who are seeking submissives and slaves are real, but that's the perception bias problem you have to work your way through. Being real, they aren't just fantasies. They have wants and desires, and they don't exist to cater specifically to your fantasies. Sometimes, it takes a submissive years to discover this, even though it should be obvious and quite readily apparent. It took me some years to figure this out as I was discovering bdsm by reading femdom newspapers and magazines, convinced that it was all about the fantasy. No, the publishing avenue was all about the fantasy, and thus, it took me some time to realize that there were real people behind the facades that were built up around bondage and discipline. I've come across MANY women in my time in bdsm communities who are very real and not seeking your money. But the work to get in those circles took time and effort. A horny guy seeking to get his rocks off (and I'm not saying that's what you are) is going to have a harder time connecting in that environment than he will in an environment that caters to him, the pay for play environment.

shri -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 3:40:50 PM)
Greetings, I am aware of Gorean Masters who expect their kajira to support them. I also know of others who fully support their slaves. It must just be the luck of the draw so to speak. Keep looking and you will find what you're looking for. well wishes...shri

DivaDuchess -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 3:46:20 PM)
Some do, some don't ... If the slave wishes to work and is able ... she contributes to the home where she resides if 24/7 with Us. If she is a 24/7 in house domestic/physical slave, she is more like literal property and My responsibility. It depends. I would steer clear of those that claim to 'train' you as each household you would enter is different. Training should be done by the Dom/me you are owned by. I don't personally care if you've had 100 years worth of training. You enter My home, I train you so any bad habits some other Dom/me has taught you can be broken to conform to what We wish.

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 3:54:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra I don't give a crap about money, gifts or tribute. I make enough money on my own and I know there are other Dommes on this forum who are the same way. Ditto for Me and I know plenty of Dommes who feel the same way. I do know where the OP is coming from, though. I have no objection at all to Pro-Dommes who are up front about what they expect in their profiles. Male submissives have told Me, however, that some Dommes who made no mention whatsoever of expecting tribute in their profiles brought it up later. One asked a male sub I know if he wanted to exchange photos. They did, then she asked him where her gift card was. Apparently she expected one for exchanging photos. Another male sub I know replied to the ad of a Domme who made no mention of tribute in her profile They exchanged several e-mail and talked on the phone, still no mention of tribute. When they finally met in person for lunch she told him "you'll do" and to meet her the following Friday for a play session, and oh by the way, the tribute would be $200. He basically told her to take a hike. To the OP--like others have said, if you keep looking, you will find a sincere Domme who is not into it for the money, but it takes time and patience. Lady Topaz

foxxxie -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 4:29:40 PM)
the money issue never came up in our relationship (we're 24/7), money is dealt with as in a vanilla marriage I suppose... equal responsibility. I've never asked for any money from others who submit to me, I just don't think that's what it's about... but if they want to buy me presents, who am I to refuse ;)

DiurnalVampire -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 4:37:03 PM)
If i were in it for the money, my boy would have been in trouble. He is a student. Do I turn down gifts, no. Do I ask for them? nope. When we become 24/7 my boy will be signing everything over to me. He has agreed to the arrangement. Is it because I want his money, no, I have my own. However, since I will be making all the financial decisions and paying all the bills... it only makes sense I control all the money. Not all dommes are in it for the quick buck, and not al the ones that are are bad people. They might not be your cup of tea, so avoid them. But to each their own. You search around long enough and youll find someone who isnt looking for tribute. DV

mp072004 -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 5:20:05 PM)
Yes, Anthony, there are lots of people interested in power exchange without money. For what it's worth, there are lots of people into BDSM who want neither power exchange nor money. I don't know if financial domination has become more prevalent in the last decade, but I'm quite sure there are other BDSM activities that have risen in popularity more dramatically in recent years. Rope bondage comes to mind as an example of a current fashion. Monica

MochaMistress -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 5:29:44 PM)
Many of us are not in it for the tribute or money. Some actually are looking for one good submissive to have a LTR with. Just have to keep looking.

tanbunns -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 5:36:59 PM)
hello mistress, iv ran into a cpl of money wannabe doms wanted $ and said there would be R/T but never was. how does a sub get collared or find a mistress that will make her and myself happy

michaelGA2 -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 5:37:47 PM)
it seems that there are quiet a few out there that want to make an easy buck these days.

tanbunns -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 5:41:58 PM)
hello sarbonn everything you have said im finding true, just wish there wasnt so much footwork involved.

michaelGA2 -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 5:43:35 PM)
personally, i think it falls under the rule against finacial slavery...but this is not my site so i have no control over that or they all would be out. (just my personal feelings on the subject which are not shared by many here...including the MODs)

MistressDolly -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 6:43:08 PM)
Servantanthony, I understand your predicament-- it's hard to find a match in vanilla world, never mind on the other side. But don't give up your search. As both a lifestyle Mistress and a pro, webdomme, I can personally attest that not all Mistresses enter the world of BDSM for only the money. I do it professionally but I also play in an non-professional realm as well; I play privately with my personal slave and with close friends of mine. But for the Mistresses that solely do it professionally, that is their choice. Patently the demand is there or else there wouldn't be any pros around. So long as people are forthright, it's okay as far as I'm concerned. Unfortunately, there are "mistresses" that mislead, steal and con subs (i.e., phony "pros" who know nothing about the lifestyle and don't care to know either) and on the flip side, there are jerk offs calling themselves masters but really are just a bunch of angry, bitter psychos with a whip looking for an outlet for the release of their pent up anger. Yet despite this, you have to keep your chin up and keep on looking. Truly, it's amazing - - the slew of differences in peoples needs and desires: some want a BDSM romantic life partner, some want total 24/7 slavery only, some want an occasional side distraction from their mundane vanilla lives (a temporary escape), etc, etc. Whatever it may be, servantanthony, know what you want and keep searching; you'll find your match out there for sure.[;)]

thetammyjo -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 6:50:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: servantanthony Is it the tired eyes of a submissive losing the faith or has the world of BDSM changed? It seems in my eyes, that money domination is taking a more prevelant part in BDSM life. These days even if not mentioned in the profile it is not uncommon for a Mistress to 'demand' so called financial gifts in order for males to talk to them. Is there anyone who is still interested in the old values of bdsm, the actual power exchange or is this world just about money? You should also ask yourself what types of profiles you are responding to and whether or not what you are attracted to is resulting in a higher level of people requesting, demanding or expecting financial exchanges. If you go for the profiles with amazing fetish pictures, you might be going after more prodoms who, because it is their profession and one way or the way they make a living, expect money. If you go after the profiles with certain types of language in them then again you may be reaching out to more prodoms. Consider who you are approaching but I know for certain that many dominants of both sexes want nothing to do with a financial exchange but you may not be going after those people because maybe they don't have the slick picture or the fetish language.

reelthyme -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 7:20:11 PM)
I must agree with servantanthony with the following provisos; I have no problem with prodommes and, I have no problem with an established M/s relationship deciding that the slave should relinquish all of their assests. My problem and I believe servantanthony's lies with this recent onslaught of blatant gold diggers who equate submissive with stupid. "give me your money, pig, and I will laugh at you" Give me a break! They are an insult to true dominants everywhere and should be kicked off the system, period! Hang in there anthony, you are not alone.

LadyHugs -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 8:12:09 PM)
Dear servantanthony, Ladies and Gentlemen, Lad, it is a long path no matter where you call home around the globe, as far as finding 'the one.' Be the jolly lad you are--I have faith in your patience as to go for quality over quantity, you are worth the investment and you know such. Look in your browser under BDSM-UK or England. Seek those areas that people gather to, not on line alone. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

MistressWolfen -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 8:23:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn I actually don't think money domination is as prevalent as you may perceive that it is..... A horny guy seeking to get his rocks off (and I'm not saying that's what you are) is going to have a harder time connecting in that environment than he will in an environment that caters to him, the pay for play environment. littlesarbonn has made a very interesting and valid point...but as usual TammyJo has nailed it on the head... quote: You should also ask yourself what types of profiles you are responding to and whether or not what you are attracted to is resulting in a higher level of people requesting, demanding or expecting financial exchanges. When I talk to the new submissives on the site, quite often, I have found that they are responding to the "commercial" profiles. Not the profiles of the non-commercial Dominants. As suggested the "fet pics" and the "I will rule you" profile capture their interest. (not unlike bright shiney objects for a magpie), so my suggestion is read deeper, read postings (if online) or better yet...get out in the community and meet people. In answer to your direct questions; yes, many of us are interested in the values and cultural integrity of the BDSM community, perhaps not so many interested in TPE but it is certainly supported by the community at large.

MisPandora -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 8:27:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: servantanthony Is it the tired eyes of a submissive losing the faith or has the world of BDSM changed? It seems in my eyes, that money domination is taking a more prevelant part in BDSM life. These days even if not mentioned in the profile it is not uncommon for a Mistress to 'demand' so called financial gifts in order for males to talk to them. Is there anyone who is still interested in the old values of bdsm, the actual power exchange or is this world just about money? There are many of us who are here and it's not about the money. Like it or not, there is demand for those for whom a transaction that is financially based IS a reality. Pro doms DO have a valid place in the BDSM community for those who for whatever reason, make their choice to serve someone on a contractual basis. What to do? Politely tell the person you're not interested and move on. Learn the keywords. Learn to pick more carefully. It's a reality, and it's not going away because you post a whine about it on the CM boards!

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