RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question

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servantanthony -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/4/2006 9:58:03 PM)
Thank Y/you for those responding to the question. While sometimes, i will click to see the fet pic, as after all i am human ~ i do not respond only to that. i also understand the work of a true pro-domme, and when i feel that it is deserved, despite being an Yorkshireman, i am not opposed to giving gifts to show my feelings. i truely hope that i can find the Mistress i seek, though in this vast world i do not know what is going to happen ~ it's what's not there that makes what's there what it is

Kahri -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/5/2006 4:50:44 AM)
Kind of funny - I was seeking a third for a forced bi encounter recently, and 90% of those who responded assumed I was a professional and doing this for a client, and windering how much they would have to pay. So I had to go around insisting that I didn't want their money, just their willingness to follow orders.

MstrssPassion -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/5/2006 8:29:06 AM)
quote: Is there anyone who is still interested in the old values of bdsm, the actual power exchange or is this world just about money? First I have to ask... what exactly is this? bdsm means a lot of things to a lot of people & to be honest... I really don't know just how old this acronym is.... anyone? I've been kicking around in this for over 20 yrs & when I first started meeting (for lack of a better word) others it was just called "the scene". There are different strokes for different folks. Figure out what you want & just move on when those you encounter don't match up. I would also highly suggest you get out in the real world to meet others. These money scamming types really don't attend real-time events... that power of the almighty keyboard doesn't carry over well when you actually get a chance to be in the same room with them. Good luck

houstonmalesub -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/5/2006 10:29:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: servantanthony These days even if not mentioned in the profile it is not uncommon for a Mistress to 'demand' so called financial gifts in order for males to talk to them. For me, the conversation stops. Period. But that's just me. If someone mentions in their profile that they are Pro Dommes or that they require something in advance, wonderful! If that is what they choose to do and have clients that seek that and they are successful in doing so, great. However, it just isn't for me. But the ones that really gets my gander up are those that are what I call the "Bait and Switch" Dommes! ;) The ones that you have a conversation with and then reveal - after awhile - the "of course, there is sizable donation". It is like when you go to buy college football season tickets and then you find out that you might buy the seat (Personal Seat License) first before you have the right to buy the tickets to go and sit in them. Gotchas everywhere! :)

MistressDolly -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/5/2006 10:59:20 AM)
Hi Houstonmalesub, For the pros that "bait and switch" - I understand what you mean and you're right - it isn't fair and it's not cool either, especially if the chemistry is there and the sub really thinks there is a connection happening. But not all postpone telling you for shelfish and clandestine reasons. Some hold off because they want to feel you out first, see if you're really a submissive seeking to serve, etc. (Pros run into many who really have no intentions of submitting, serving, etc.) So, they will engage in a few email exchanges with you first to try and get a sense of who you are. They may not want their business spread out to any and everyone that they are pro- for whatever personal reasons they may. Nothing is ever black and white.

houstonmalesub -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/5/2006 1:38:07 PM)
You make some excellent points and I noticed that you have some very distinct ways to get through those that don't have any intention whatsoever of following through with what they say they will or think they want to do. I also agree with the "nothing is ever black and white" too.

MistressDolly -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/5/2006 3:45:06 PM)
**smiles** xo

MisPandora -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/5/2006 5:47:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: reelthyme I must agree with servantanthony with the following provisos; I have no problem with prodommes and, I have no problem with an established M/s relationship deciding that the slave should relinquish all of their assests. My problem and I believe servantanthony's lies with this recent onslaught of blatant gold diggers who equate submissive with stupid. "give me your money, pig, and I will laugh at you" Give me a break! They are an insult to true dominants everywhere and should be kicked off the system, period! Hang in there anthony, you are not alone. What your narrow mind is failing to see is that for some, that IS their kink -- both dominas and submissive males. It's probably not right to hurl stones at them while you yourself are living in a glass house (we all have kinks, they're just different.) Just say it's not your thing and politely move on.

MisPandora -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/5/2006 5:48:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion quote: Is there anyone who is still interested in the old values of bdsm, the actual power exchange or is this world just about money? First I have to ask... what exactly is this? bdsm means a lot of things to a lot of people & to be honest... I really don't know just how old this acronym is.... anyone? I've been kicking around in this for over 20 yrs & when I first started meeting (for lack of a better word) others it was just called "the scene". There are different strokes for different folks. Figure out what you want & just move on when those you encounter don't match up. I would also highly suggest you get out in the real world to meet others. These money scamming types really don't attend real-time events... that power of the almighty keyboard doesn't carry over well when you actually get a chance to be in the same room with them. Good luck And if we really wanted to be technical.....back in the OLD days of BDSM.....say back to the beginnings of Janus, TES, Black Rose, etc....pro dominas were the ones that these folks were learning skills from!

LotusSong -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/5/2006 6:03:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn I actually don't think money domination is as prevalent as you may perceive that it is. What you are experiencing is perception bias, which is caused by noticing that the easiest path to achieving what you desire is through the noise caused by dominants who advertise seeking your money. Finding someone who isn't a money domme is a longer path, which means you have to participate in forums, seek out partners from real communities, and explore avenues that a simple phone call isn't going to allow you to achieve in an easy manner. The women who are seeking submissives and slaves are real, but that's the perception bias problem you have to work your way through. Being real, they aren't just fantasies. They have wants and desires, and they don't exist to cater specifically to your fantasies. Sometimes, it takes a submissive years to discover this, even though it should be obvious and quite readily apparent. It took me some years to figure this out as I was discovering bdsm by reading femdom newspapers and magazines, convinced that it was all about the fantasy. No, the publishing avenue was all about the fantasy, and thus, it took me some time to realize that there were real people behind the facades that were built up around bondage and discipline. I've come across MANY women in my time in bdsm communities who are very real and not seeking your money. But the work to get in those circles took time and effort. A horny guy seeking to get his rocks off (and I'm not saying that's what you are) is going to have a harder time connecting in that environment than he will in an environment that caters to him, the pay for play environment. The people who are under the control of their own desires and want to be dominated NOW are those that fall prey! They do not want to get to know the domme or establish a relationship. So hey, toss some money around and get that itch SCRATCHED!

MstrssPassion -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (9/5/2006 8:28:39 PM)
I agree... professional female dominants/dominatrixes/dominas (whatever preferred term) were & are involved with real time events & they are great people to know & learn from... my suggestion to get out into the real world was avoid the ones that this young man is most likely encountering -- the online money scammers -- these types have ruined the reputation of pro-dommes in general & are very rarely found at group gatherings. I know of all the organizations you mentioned but none of these were available down here & Florida. I searched & searched for groups like this but it was nearly impossible to locate anything like this back in the early to mid-80's... internet was not as wide spread as it is now if even available. For Christ's sake... we never had cable TV at home until MTV first came out & I paid to have it installed. Book stores were only for dirty old men & no self respecting young woman would be caught dead going to one alone. I learned what I learned in the beginning from images in punk music & early metal bands such as Judas Priest. Libraries were a great source.(reading original studies in sadism, masochism & such) then I stumbled upon some old photos of many unknown & well-known women like Betty Page. From there it was within the bike clubs & the gay community to present day -- life experience of trial & error.

pinkkeith -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (12/8/2006 8:11:17 AM)
I feel that paying a tribute is a way of gaining favor with the dom. If it is something that is demanded out of the sub, then it isn't really a tribute. A tribute is something that is given up because the sub wishes to gain favor with the dom. Someone who is saying that in order to have such-and-such you must pay me x amount of dollars is really not looking for a trbute, but is looking for money in exchange for goods and services. This, in my opinion, would make someone a ProDom.

catfood -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (12/8/2006 7:52:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MisPandora quote: ORIGINAL: reelthyme I must agree with servantanthony with the following provisos; I have no problem with prodommes and, I have no problem with an established M/s relationship deciding that the slave should relinquish all of their assests. My problem and I believe servantanthony's lies with this recent onslaught of blatant gold diggers who equate submissive with stupid. "give me your money, pig, and I will laugh at you" Give me a break! They are an insult to true dominants everywhere and should be kicked off the system, period! Hang in there anthony, you are not alone. What your narrow mind is failing to see is that for some, that IS their kink -- both dominas and submissive males. It's probably not right to hurl stones at them while you yourself are living in a glass house (we all have kinks, they're just different.) Just say it's not your thing and politely move on. ditto. the point is, if it isn't your cup of tea, move on. there are some pretty obvious warning signs for those seeking your money and nothing else...like no "real-time contact, only cyber training." while some may get their jollies out of this, it is beyond my ken to wrap my head around it. more power to 'em, pass on by. but let's not whip out that broad brush and paint all pros as "gold-diggers."

draba -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (12/8/2006 8:00:36 PM)
My wife takes all my money and controls the bills and my finances. Does that mean she is my domme. Oh boy, do i wish.

Morrigel -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (12/8/2006 8:17:43 PM)
People who are buying physical gratification are buying just that: physical gratification. If you have nothing to offer other than a physical appetite that you want someone to attend to--be prepared to pay. A woman who cares for you may let you sleep in her bed or she may make you a meal: restaurants and hotels charge you money, and rightly so. Sex workers of ANY kind, including pro dommes, are selling a service equivalent to the one you would get from a restaurant or a hotel. Basically you are getting your needs met without having to establish a loving or caring relationship with someone, or worry about who they are as a person; it's a business transaction, and there is nothing wrong with it. And while I am not a pro domme myself, I would appreciate it if the men on this forum would learn for once to be grateful that such a service exists, rather than CONSTANTLY bitching about it! [:'(] I don't see you all bitching because restaurants and hotels charge you a fee for their services: when you're tired or hungry, you're just grateful that you don't have to starve or sleep out in the rain. Don't want to pay for a pro domme? Don't pay for a pro domme. Think restaurants charge too much? Make your own damn dinner. Can't afford a hotel? Sleep in the car. But keep in mind--people who can't cook, don't live locally, and have nothing to offer a domme other than money...are S.O.L.. Not all dominant women, here or anywhere, are charging money. But I'd bet a lot of the ones who look like fetish models are! Know why? Because sex work of any kind will generally make you more money per hour of effort than any job you can get with a Ph.D....if you happen to look like a fetish model. [:)] Market forces, supply and demand, yadda yadda yadda. These women just don't happen to have a neurotic inhibition that prevents them from doing what makes the most economic sesne, basically. And let's face it, boys--if your sexual proclivities could make you MUCH more money than your day job? A lot of you would sub for cash and laugh all the way to the bank! [:D] --M

MisPandora -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (12/8/2006 8:24:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion quote: Is there anyone who is still interested in the old values of bdsm, the actual power exchange or is this world just about money? First I have to ask... what exactly is this? bdsm means a lot of things to a lot of people & to be honest... I really don't know just how old this acronym is.... anyone? I've been kicking around in this for over 20 yrs & when I first started meeting (for lack of a better word) others it was just called "the scene". There are different strokes for different folks. Figure out what you want & just move on when those you encounter don't match up. I would also highly suggest you get out in the real world to meet others. These money scamming types really don't attend real-time events... that power of the almighty keyboard doesn't carry over well when you actually get a chance to be in the same room with them. Good luck OLD, you know....like before Al Gore created the internet? LOL

Grlwithboy -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (12/8/2006 8:46:56 PM)
I've been in the scene for a decade, 3 years of it more or less as a professional --- currently NOT a professional Domme. Would I go back to it? If I were to find the right mindset, endless energy, and ability to force myself to be an extrovert (that's the most taxing part, for me) maybe, but probably not. I don't think there's anything wrong with commanding compensation when you have a certain skillset and the seriousness of a professional. I also would not assume that a professional has no love of Domination beyond $. I got into SM as soon as I understood the nuances of the exchange, and I'll be into SM if it means ME paying for it.

catfood -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (12/9/2006 5:28:07 AM)
quote: OLD, you know....like before Al Gore created the internet? LOL ;) chuckles

DiannaVesta -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (12/9/2006 7:07:26 AM)
This thread will no doubt be ANOTHER long one. We've all beat this dog a millions times, a million ways. If giving gifts and tribute to a woman is an issue, move on down the line. I don’t know how many of you were in the scene back in the 70’s & 80’s before the web, but all we had to rely on was black and white fetish publications. I think tribute was much more expected back then then it is today. We use to place ads and there was often a 20 or more in the envelope even if you didn’t request it in your ad. The mindset is that we get approached by so many men and at least 80% (I’m being kind) have no intention on following through and no clue what a dominant woman really wants. This is a fact and far too many of them expect a dominant woman to be all over them simply because they say, “I want to be your slave”. What bull! If only we could hear the unconscious ramblings below that request. The selfish motivations of a sexually needy male. Oh yeah but I’m a female supremacist and I hate men! Lol- damn forgot that. What the fuck do I know? And ladies, lets get real… maybe a few of you have been so luck in finding a good relationship with a submissive male without all the painstaking effort. NO other relationship on the planet requires SO much work as finding a truly submissive man. But I would judge to say that 80% of you are without a slave and the ones that will fess up and be honest will tell you how hard it is and that they have to weed out a whole lot of selfish jerks to find a prince. Very few males are capable of following instruction and why the hell would I want a male that can’t? If you can’t set a plan of action that includes getting and keeping her attention then don’t even get involved because the reality is that NONE of you, submissive males, really want a woman that caters to you. That’s exactly what a woman is doing when she allows a male to give her the run around. Very few times are they on equal playing ground and when this happens it beautiful BUT when you take a seasoned Domina, THAT CAN HAVE almost anyone she wants because of her experience then you gotta jump through a few hoops. This isn’t just about money but that men stop this whining and time wasting. You know I have a FREE online training course that step by step lays out a femdom training course for a slave. Sure we ask them, if they want to ALSO download the audios to upgrade to paid for 14.95!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! holy shit 14.95 to support us. 14.95 to support the education of so many dominant women, couples and submissives. “Oh but it should be free… there’s lots of free sites, why should I pay?” I won’t even get into all of that because its all pretty pathetic. Anyhow, its still FREE for anyone that chooses to take it and follow the course. It involves a commitment, meditation and denial. I still get email from guys begging to be my slave that actually say, “But I’m not into that!” I just want to pull my hair out. It gets old. Everyone wants, wants and wants but no one wants to make a commitment and honestly I see this as being the major down fall in the community today. That’s why so many of you are alone and turning up empty handed. You expect things to just fall in your lap. Just BECAUSE your dominant OR just because you offer yourself, your counterpart should just magically arrive. I’m so sick of the same damn topics with the same lame ass answers and self righteous shit about how YOU happen to be lucky enough to not have to put up with all the BS, when in reality you know damn well that ain’t true. Lol- damn I’m sorry to get on this rant but come on! Lets wake up and get constructive and stop this petty ass back and forth non-constructive mud slinging. If a woman expects gift then OK. Guys if this bothers you then stay away from these women that do. Plain and simple. Ladies if you expect gifts and to be taken care of then just say so. Lay it on the table. Don’t make excuses because there are men out there that DO want to honor you like a QUEEN and make sure you have what you need without all the bitching, whining and complaining. The MOMENT you begin to settle for less that’s exactly what you’re going to get. In fact you’ll get bombarded with it. Set your sights high and wait for the right situations. If a submissive man can’t meet your standards then move his ass on down the line and don’t waste your breath. TRUST me there are men worth your time if you’ll just stop believing you don’t deserve it and keep wasting your breath/time on guys who want you to fulfill their sexual fantasies. Oh damn I better stop! Lol My hormone are raging which is why I’m on fire but everything I’m saying is true. This should get some shit sling and porve my point exactly. Did anyone catch the interview with Michelle Peters I did? She talked about how things were back in the 60 and 80’s. People respected each other and slaves did as they were told, honoring their mistress’s and masters. It was a really tight knit community where differences were respected and there wasn’t all this petty ass crap.

Morrigel -> RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question (12/9/2006 7:23:15 AM)
chuckles Always good to hear from you, Dianna. You said a mouthful. [;)] --M

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