RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (Full Version)

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cravespleasure -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 10:29:16 AM)

Anyone have bad experiences from actually falling for the nice personality, but overweight/slightly unattractive guy?

Once upon a time, I fell for a BIG guy.. we actually talked about it one day. The fateful "why do you like me" discussion, which descended into the "but I'm so fat". He broke it off with me shortly after that at a big party. 6 months later I couldn't recognize the guy..he had lost a lot of weight really quickly, and he looked a bit anorexic.

I no longer think that the nice guys come with the average to ugly looks package. Looks don't indicate anything about an individual's personality. I generally respond to every initial query because it feels polite. Whether I continue to talk to the person isn't some indication of their picture, but the combination of shared interests, direction, and intelligence. I think my worst fault in this whole discrimination thread is that if someone is markedly less intelligent, I just get frustrated. If they are having a hard time figuring out what I'm saying, and I'm having to spell myself out, or repeat myself it drives me nuts.



GeekyGirl -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 11:23:32 AM)

I'm the same way, cravespleasure.

I've never been discriminatory about looks, but I'll admit to being shallow about other things and intelligence is high on that list. If he can't hold an intelligent conversation, follow what I'm saying, etc, then I get frustrated. I also can't stand someone with really atrocious spelling and grammar. If I man contacts me saying "hi how r u? wats ur name?" , well then I just hit the ignore button.

I'm also discriminatory in regards to a man's age (if you're under 25, I'm not even responding.) Add in a bit of discrimination in regards to career (I have a very average job and if you don't make as much as I do, then I'm not interested.I figure anyone who doesn't make what I do is probably an underachiever.)

So I guess that raises the question of "Is discrimination against intelligence, income, etc just as shallow as discriminating against looks?"

Also I wonder if women are more prone to discriminate against intelligence and income factors. I've noticed some men are completely content to have women who are dumb as bricks, so long as they look good. They also don't tend to care if the woman has a good career or not.

For me, it's just the opposite. The most physically attractive person in the world holds zero sexual attraction for me if they are stupid or unemployed.

My previous Master was a quite plain looking 38yr old, about 100lbs overweight, and I thought he was the sexiest man alive...however I'll admit that to me his "sexiness" factor had a lot to do with his wit, intelligence, and even the fact that he had a very good job.



KarbonCopy -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 11:35:11 AM)

cant say I've ever had this problem. but of course i'm gorgeous and have no problems attracting anyone. What can I say? I'm god's gift to women.



felicitousdove -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 11:37:52 AM)

6yrs ago i spoke with a Dom. He described himself as large, black hair, blue eyes. We spoke for a few months. I never saw a picture of him.

The week befor we were supposed to meet, he says: I have to tell you, I wasnt entirely honest about my apearance. Wheni said large, i am ovr weight.

I said Ok, fat and sloppy or fat n firm? He said round and firm.

He said "My hair isnt black anymore" I replied, Ok, based upon your age being 56yrs i imagined you have salt n pepper hair, or that you dyed it balck. Am i close? He said yes, it was salt n pepper.

His eyes were indeed still blue. I asked "Clean shaven or facial hair?"
He replied clean shaved. I said Darn. Can you grow a beard? He said " I think so. I have never tried as my ex wives hated facial hair. Why? "
I replied: I have a Santa Clause fetish.
He thought i was joking.

He showed up for our 1st date- my never having seen a picture of him. A month later he had a full white beard. 6 yrs later we are still together.

So nope- i dont buy it. Its not about being a tall, thin, body builder type man. I prefer Big Teddy Bears and Santa Clause's. Not something most look for. Actually what most might consider ugly. Beauty is only skin deep and is only in the eyes of the beholder.

Even my tastes in women are different than most. I like to look for a sparkle in the eyes, confidence, and joy for life. Body type and hair color ar eunimportant. Everything else is just packaging.  You never know what lays beneith all the trapping and wrappings.



Najakcharmer -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 11:43:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

> What you put in your mouth and how much you exercise has
> a heck of a lot to do with your weight and body composition. 

Go tell that to anorexics!  Go tell anorexics that all they have
to do is eat more, and exercise less.  Tell them they have
no discipline. 


Um....read again.  What you eat and how much physical activity you perform has a lot to do with your weight and body composition.  Likewise, how much gas and oil you put in your car has a lot to do with making it run.  There are many other contributing factors to how efficiently a human body or a car burns fuel, but it is impossible to deny that basic input of fuel and output of energy has a heck of a lot to do with the operation.

This is a highly emotional issue, but try to forget about the emotions attached and think about it as a basic physics equation.  Yes, the manner in which the human body burns or stores fuel, partitions calories, depletes and refills glycogen stores, etc, is influenced by many things.  But the basic equation is still calories in = either fuel burned or fuel stored as fat.



quote:

A normal person does not have to go around feeling faint
and hungry all day to maintain their weight. 


That is quite true, though attempting a low fat/high glycemic index carbohydrate diet will have this effect.


quote:

Normal people feel a burst of energy when they eat food.  When obese
people eat food, instead of feeling a burst of energy they
feel tired.  The more energy you feel you have, the more
you will exercise.


Um, this has a lot to do with glycemic index, insulin sensitivity and glycogen storage.  Manipulating your macronutrient percentages  and glycemic index works very nicely for everyone regardless of their weight if you want your food to make you feel energetic instead of tired.  It isn't obesity itself that causes the issue.  Obesity is one result of problems with the insulin/glucagon cycle, eg, lack of insulin sensitivity.  That is the direct cause of the specific symptoms you are describing.  And there is a fix for it. 


quote:

But myths are hard to destroy.


Yeah, they are, which is why I prefer hard science.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 11:46:25 AM)

I've never chosen a sub by their looks,but if one is incapable of responding to demands,or worse yet wants to constantly remind me of what THEY would like to do,I will send them out the door!There is no person that serves and does the very best they can that I find ugly,and honestly those are the ones I take in public more because I know it makes them feel better about themselves as a human being.



felicitousdove -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 11:46:37 AM)

Just thought i should add- He is 23yrs my senior. *smiles* so age isnt important either.

Also, as to the question about why ther eare never any short, fat, or plain pictures. My pic is right here. I am who i am. I dont hide it behind cutesy avitars and lil pixy or fairy photos. Either folk saccept me as i am or they dont. I am comfy in my own skin.



GeekyGirl -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 12:03:26 PM)

Felicitousdove, I think you look lovely, and I understand what you are saying, as I also do not hide behind cutesy avatars. I'm just me..a little fat, a little plain, and if people don't like it, they can kiss my plump round booty! I've got nothing to hide in regards to my looks.



kc692 -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 12:20:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: anondom

It amazes me how submissives and even others will jump on anyone who says anything against BBWs as shallow assholes and yet...

Those very same women do not bother emailing anyone who isn't thin and handsome with a picture.  So not only are some (because of course the 800 women who respond to this are ALL exceptions) just as shallow as male doms, they are also hypocrites as well.

I did a test of a couple of profiles, I even used the same wording just different pictures, one showing a "handsome" guy, one showing an "ugly " guy and another blank.

I only got responses from the "handsome" picture.  Almost all were women that the ugly guy might have considered being seen with.

Now love and lust come in strange packages, I will admit that and heck, I have known large women I have lusted after for what was inside them.  That said, for them to NOT respond to the words, the SAME words, not until they were tied to a handsome face is hypocritical and far more shallow than men who at least have the integrity to admit looks matter.

So, lets see where this thread goes other than a flame fest against me for pointing out the fat elephant in the corner.


If I may ask a question, did you send one of each to the same woman?  Unless you have the same woman with all the options, there is an accurate control, because maybe the one you sent the attractive one to would have answered the ugly one, or vice versa.  That is the only way you can know what one persons choice was, if in fact she was given the choice of all three and not just one to choose  from, otherwise it's a game of numbers.  I'm not disagreeing with your hypothesis, just adding this question as food for thought.



gentlethistle -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 12:29:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer
My main profile pic is, on purpose, an older one from *before* I was so successful with my efforts at body recomposition.  Anybody who doesn't want to talk to the me of 40-50 lbs ago is not someone I have any interest in talking to now. 


I had noticed this before in your profile, and I really like this approach and the attitude.  For the same reason, sometimes when people approach me in other environments online and ask my age I reply 92.  Because it's more fun to see how they react to me as a person completely outside their normal expectations, rather than as someone who is in some particular age band in which they might be seeking company.

I lost around 30lbs over 2-3 years and plan to lose some more....but nothing changes the fact (for me) that I'm just a fat bird who lost some weight.  I'm ethnically fat, if you like.  It's how I identify.  Hell, if they made a T-shirt that read 'I was *born* chubby' I'd buy a few. And I have trouble with the idea that someone who might like me now would have been repulsed by me before...but that's the way the world is, I guess.  I should just shut up and get used to it.

I want to walk with the fat women.  But I don't want to walk the fat women's walk....

Laura



takenOne -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 12:57:18 PM)

dear GeekyGirl and Felicitousdove - i don't mean to be an echo but Y/you are both lovely and i am of the same mindframe as Y/you. 

i am who i am - my body is just a shell containing who i really am and if they can't get past that then i probably don't want them to know me anyway.

GeekyGirl - i must say that i do think that Y/you are particularly beautiful with absolutely gorgeous curves!!

hugs,
humbly,
heather



GeekyGirl -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 1:01:57 PM)

Thank you, TakenOne! You appear lovely as well :)



Lordandmaster -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 3:02:38 PM)

Yeah, and people who say things to see how I "react," instead of just telling the truth, are people I don't want to get to know.

quote:

ORIGINAL: gentlethistle

I had noticed this before in your profile, and I really like this approach and the attitude.  For the same reason, sometimes when people approach me in other environments online and ask my age I reply 92.  Because it's more fun to see how they react to me as a person completely outside their normal expectations, rather than as someone who is in some particular age band in which they might be seeking company.



Bearlee -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 3:21:39 PM)

 
Awwwwwwwwww...  Well, all I have to add is the picture I post of me is a few months old.  I turned 58 years old in July and probably could stand to loose 30 pounds.  I dunno if that makes me a BBW or not.  Still... at closing in on 60 I guess I could be 'old'...but I sure as heck don't FEEL like it! 
 
And, if the notes I get from the 20-, 30- and 40-somethings are any indication...age is nothin; I bet a few extra pounds aren't either! 
 
You are what you believe you are.   I like being a juicy, creative, wild woman... like SARK.  Check her out:  http://www.planetsark.com/studio_meet_sark.htm    ...and have fun!!!


Edited to add:  This was a Fast Reply and addressed to no one in particular...



Najakcharmer -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 3:45:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Yeah, and people who say things to see how I "react," instead of just telling the truth, are people I don't want to get to know.


In my profile, the truth about the photo is told quite clearly.  Anyone who takes the time to read it will get the idea, and I like talking to people who know how to read.  Horny illiterates who browse photos looking for hawt chiks to cybur with will (hopefully) pass me by for the most part.



indigo302 -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 5:06:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

i dun get the whole pissiness with "they dun like the way i look so that means their BAD"  i'm a LARGE women and MEN who dont like LARGE women are SHALLOW.  or the flip i'm a HAIRY guy and women who cant over look the rug on my back are SHALLOW. 

Hell, i'm a short girl with brown hair even.  Some guys like Tall Blondes.  Does that make guys who like talls blondes shallow?  Naaaah.. just means they have a preference. 

Whats wrong with having a preference? 

cant please all the people all the time.  So um, folks i think you just need to be happy with pleasing some of the ppl some of the time and stop GRIPING about not pleasing everyone.



As has been stated before, there's not a thing wrong with having preferences......but when one puts another down while trying to make their preferences known, then it becomes a problem.

To state " I prefer petite blonds" is SO much different than "Fat brunettes are gross, they need to lose weight and dye their hair blond, and any of them who don't are stupid asses who don't care about themselves, therefore I'm going to stick with petite blonds"......See the difference?

indigo

*edited because this laptop is not submitting well*



GeekyGirl -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 5:43:14 PM)

Good point, Indigo.

I don't mind seeing a profile that says "I prefer petite ladies." That's a positive statement and much less offensive than saying "I'm not into fat girls, so if you're heavy don't email me."

Although honestly, I am just not so worried about looks that I would bother mentioning physical preferences in my profile. I've talked to folks for weeks before ever asking for a photo because it just doesn't matter to me. I've met quite a few people and thought initially "Eh, he's alright" or even "He's a bit homely" but after I got to know that person, I would look at them and think "How did I EVER think he was anything less than gorgeous?"

I guess for me, and maybe for most women, attraction is a combination of so many factors other than appearance.

I don't understand men OR women who would turn down someone based on them being physically imperfect. I mean, let's face it...one day we're all going to be old, ugly, wrinkled, etc.



Lordandmaster -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 5:58:23 PM)

Well, since you brought it up, I have to say that I don't see any comment about your picture in your profile--except this:

quote:

I clean up okay when I get around to dressing up (eg, my old profile picture), but in my everyday life I tend to dress casual, comfortable and functional.


I don't think that qualifies as the whole truth about your photo.

At any rate, I wasn't responding to you at all; I was responding to someone who wrote that she always says "92" whenever someone asks her how old she is, because she wants to see how people will react.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Yeah, and people who say things to see how I "react," instead of just telling the truth, are people I don't want to get to know.


In my profile, the truth about the photo is told quite clearly.  Anyone who takes the time to read it will get the idea, and I like talking to people who know how to read.  Horny illiterates who browse photos looking for hawt chiks to cybur with will (hopefully) pass me by for the most part.



theRose4U -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 6:14:58 PM)

A fat butt is temporary, you can always diet.

A fat head is unfortunately perminant and there's no cure, it normally results in terminal lonleyness.



mnottertail -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/6/2006 6:40:09 PM)

Here is the fuckin' news people:

We had a thread of fat girls.
We had a thread on old girls.
We had a thread on ugly girls.

I came into the fat girl thread way to late to fuck a fat girl
I came into the old girl thread way to late to fuck an old girl.
I came into the ugly girl thread way to late to fuck an ugly girl.

Dammit!!!!!

Now I came in way to late to fuck a fat, old,  ugly girl.

I am sending a report to support right now, 'cause you fuckin' guys don't get it.

Don't start anymore variations of these threads unless I am informed,  so I can get a chance to snag one?  Got it?  Get it?  Good!

Rant finis.

Ron




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