RE: Behavior I saw from a supposed "20 yeras in the lifestyle Dom"

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RE: Behavior I saw from a supposed "20 yeras in th... - 9/10/2006 8:03:42 PM

NastyDaddy

Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheMightyBitch

And Nasty I am most sorry for being a "newbie lesbain femdom" I will try to change because I know it bothers you so much.

No need to be sorry for how you identify... but do understand that non-sugar coated is often reciprocated as non-sugar coated.

At least you're not a "newbie lesbian supposed femdom" like you judged others to be with regards to what they identified as for 20 years before you came along. We can skip the "glass house" analogy... unless you insist yet once again.

_____________________________

"You may be right, I may be crazy... but I may just be the lunatic you're looking for!"

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RE: Behavior I saw from a supposed "20 yeras in th... - 9/10/2006 8:48:15 PM

trannysub007

Posts: 105
Joined: 9/3/2006
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The only behavior i expect from people 'in the lifestyle' at all is respect for others. A disrespectful Domme is just as disturbing to me as a disrespectful sub. There are a lot of Dom/mes and subs on the message boards who show a lack of respect for others, and those who show a great deal of respect regardless of whether they agree with someone else's comment or not. Sometimes it's difficult to post a respectful reply to a load of crap, but it is possible.

(in reply to NastyDaddy)

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RE: Behavior I saw from a supposed "20 yeras in th... - 9/11/2006 1:05:54 AM

TheMightyBitch

Posts: 45
Joined: 8/25/2006
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I have put a lot of thought into this whole thing. Many of my initial reactions to the whole situation was challanged by many here and I used that to challange my pre-concieved ideas. Hence the opening of my mind.

I identified 2 things that caused me trouble.

1. What I precieved as her bad manners
It could have been any of the many things mentioned, bad day, their relationship, her comfort with me. What ever it was I didn't like it and as an adult I can choose to be around it or not.

2. What I percived as his lack of leadership and control.
How I judged him as "supposed" is that I hear the word "lifestyle" and can't help but think that it is something that goes beyond play & in the bedroom.Sure that was my fault for having expectations of others ways. But for him to tell me he is a Dom, then ask me to flog him and do a kidnap/rape scenario with him, then to watch his interactions with his wife makes me question his identity. I did not mention the sexual play stuff because I was trying to keep it all "human interaction" stuff and away from sexual role idenification.

SO.......What Makes someone a Dom or Domme or Dominant?????

am I still off base or learning & growing?

(in reply to trannysub007)

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RE: Behavior I saw from a supposed "20 yeras in th... - 9/11/2006 3:56:16 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheMightyBitch

But for him to tell me he is a Dom, then ask me to flog him and do a kidnap/rape scenario with him, then to watch his interactions with his wife makes me question his identity.

SO.......What Makes someone a Dom or Domme or Dominant?????

You might assume, not that it matters, that HIS relationship with HER is that of a Dom. He might also have interests that she does not perform. That might be where their interest in you lies. You, of course, can choose to partake or not.

Other's identities is not your 'place' (yes, Dom(me)s have 'place' as well) to question.

The whole thought can interest you, or sicken you, and you will handle it accordingly.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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RE: Behavior I saw from a supposed "20 yeras in th... - 9/11/2006 9:37:08 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheMightyBitch

But for him to tell me he is a Dom, then ask me to flog him and do a kidnap/rape scenario with him, then to watch his interactions with his wife makes me question his identity.

SO.......What Makes someone a Dom or Domme or Dominant?????

You might assume, not that it matters, that HIS relationship with HER is that of a Dom. He might also have interests that she does not perform. That might be where their interest in you lies. You, of course, can choose to partake or not.

Other's identities is not your 'place' (yes, Dom(me)s have 'place' as well) to question.

The whole thought can interest you, or sicken you, and you will handle it accordingly.

Jeff

I was merely going to just watch this one continue to unfold...but I feel I should interject. Good point in the possible and probable assumption that he was JUST a Dom. Yes, he might be -her- Dom, but that doesn't mean that he couldn't be a switch. She, as a sub, or a bottom, might not be able to function as a top for his -other- tastes.

And I think in this case, either these people just had really shitty communication skills...or perhaps you might have been letting your expectations overrule that which they were presenting to you and you saw merely what you chose to subconsciously.

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Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to mstrjx)

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RE: Behavior I saw from a supposed "20 yeras in th... - 9/11/2006 9:54:47 AM

NastyDaddy

Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheMightyBitch

SO.......What Makes someone a Dom or Domme or Dominant?????

am I still off base or learning & growing?

Actually Dom and Domme are both Dominants in their respective genders. There are many misconceptions regarding what makes either be either, some are natural Dominants while others subscribe to a theory of Dominants are taught to be dominant and earn the right to identify as dominant. The key underlying fundamental is that you enjoy dominating versus being dominated. There are those who enjoy both sides of the dynamic and identify as switches.

You're doing very well and have opened your mind... many cannot, and thus it hinders them. Yes, you are learning and growing... and there is nothing wrong with who you are, as well as nothing wrong with others who identify as who they are. Problems and inability to grow occur when the temptation to judge enters someone's mind. Not being aware that "to not understand another's role or kink" is indeed different from thinking or suggesting another's role or kink is not appropriate for one's own reasons.

Don't look now, but when you encounter the plethora of labels and the twists of many labels, it can also be confusing... but keeping an open mind will help you make some kind of sense of it all.

I commend you MB because your words and thoughts are indeed reflective and are very becoming... good on ya!

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RE: Behavior I saw from a supposed "20 yeras in th... - 9/11/2006 10:10:30 AM

TheMightyBitch

Posts: 45
Joined: 8/25/2006
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hey Nasty....I might not be able to use the lable Lesbian anymore. In the lastyear of exploring the lifestyle I have had play sessions with males. Some were just Dominating them non-sexually and some included sexual play. I came out of it with a realization thatthe reason I did not enjoy men in the vnilla worl was that they are taught to dominate and I fell into the role of a "misrable vanilla sub"

Being able to Dominate men is becoming more and more gratifying to me and I think I am getting to the point I re-thinking my sexual prefrence........dammit!!!

your "newbie past-tense lsbian femdom bitch" :)

(in reply to NastyDaddy)

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RE: Behavior I saw from a supposed "20 yeras in th... - 9/11/2006 10:12:38 AM

sophia37

Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
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I think Mightybitch, that this women felt very comfortable with you by the end of the evening. Take it as a compliment. Maybe she had a few drinks.

And maybe the woman is also completely overloaded if she cares for a disabled person of any sort. Maybe the women is filled to bursting with her struggles.

I personally feel honored when people unload on me. Even if they maybe shouldnt be unloading so much. She forgot herself perhaps.

Usually when stuck in a dicey situation, I try to validate everyone who's involved. Acknowledge the harship if you will and try to find a way to relate with some story of my own. Theres always the chance I can turn the conversation away and on to something else better suited to the moment. I consider it my challenge and feel thankful that I'm up for it.

I personally get the feeling you're a person that people feel comfortable with within a short time. You are blessed really.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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