RE: Why do people do this?

RE: Why do people do this? (Full Version)

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eyesopened -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 1:53:33 AM)
i'm going to go out on a limb here but i suspect some people submit online to online Doms they have only met a moment ago because they like it. Who am i do worry about what gives other people pleasure or fulfillment or joy? i am not able to surrender that for which a Dom is not able to accept responsibility. Since there is no responsibility in cyberspace i don't submit there. i have journaled as a way of expressing my thoughts and feelings at the request of Somone i haven't yet met but with the understanding we plan to meet in the near future. Regarding honorifics? i live in the South and it's just plain ole good manners to address people we don't know "sir" or "ma'am" (notice the lower-case letters lol) rather than address them as "you", "hey", or "dude".

mons -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 2:47:38 AM)
*greetings to all* i am taken back i know many of the submissive made me told to do many chores but i hate it when someone im or writes and ask to lick my p and calls me mistress i am not thier mistress nor am i interested in the way they speak they take it upon themselves to say anything and who told them it is ok to ask things like this on the very first im. i had the boot licking on slave ask me and it made me ill to plave qtips in his penis and i was mad i say no then begged in a way that made me ill. so i understand you asking about the things you ask to do but there is the other side we are ask thing that makes us go what? *some are just online submissive i do believe this* *mons*

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 6:58:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressMelissa In accordance with my house manual any "little one" in my house is to address any dominant as Sir/Ma'am unless I say otherwise. How do they address switches? quote: A slave should act with deference and thus I would not expect a slave to interrupt two dominants speaking. I also would expect a slave to step aside and let a dominant pass. Refilling a coffee cup if they have the pot in their hand would not be too much to ask. What if the slave were running a business meeting? Should they not ask the people talking during the meeting to stop? Should they get everyone coffee if it runs out in the middle of the meeting?

PavlovTrainer -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 7:41:26 AM)
I always start off my chats in almost a vanilla way. Just a hello, how are you, tell me about yourself, sort of a tone. When she begins to address me as Sir, I want her to be inspired to. Now when someone immediately starts to call me Master, I gently explain that while I appreciate the sentiment from her, If she calls everyone she talks to Master, it has no real meaning. Talk is cheap, Chat is even cheaper. Pavlov

raiken -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 10:32:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eyesopened i'm going to go out on a limb here but i suspect some people submit online to online Doms they have only met a moment ago because they like it. Who am i do worry about what gives other people pleasure or fulfillment or joy? i am not able to surrender that for which a Dom is not able to accept responsibility. Since there is no responsibility in cyberspace i don't submit there. i have journaled as a way of expressing my thoughts and feelings at the request of Somone i haven't yet met but with the understanding we plan to meet in the near future. Regarding honorifics? i live in the South and it's just plain ole good manners to address people we don't know "sir" or "ma'am" (notice the lower-case letters lol) rather than address them as "you", "hey", or "dude". One of the Masters i serve, has several subs he plays with on occassion, and the one sub who is much younger, called him her "bondage dude" one day...lol...the look on Master's face was priceless! *grin

GddssBella -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 11:28:44 AM)
G'afternoon all: quote: ORIGINAL: MistressMelissa quote: Often times they feel obligated to do these things. I am one that believes that unless I am YOURS I am under obligation to cow tow or kiss your feet or any other part of your body. Not sure what falls under this classification. A slave should act with deference and thus I would not expect a slave to interrupt two dominants speaking. I also would expect a slave to step aside and let a dominant pass. Refilling a coffee cup if they have the pot in their hand would not be too much to ask. >>BLINKS<< You can't be serious. You think just because someone's orientation is submissive that they automatically have to defer to anyone that's dominant?? That's just crazy. I do believe in general courtesy, civility and manners. It's the grease that makes humanity more bearable. People are people first, regardless of what side of the flogger they choose to be on. This doesn't entitle anyone to preferential treatment simply because they chose to be the wielder, not the subject it's practiced upon. When folks forget reality and actually believe this alternative lifestyle is the measure by which everyone lives? They need some down time and to re-evaluate their mental stability. Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others... [:D] Bella

juliaoceania -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 11:43:15 AM)
I am not allowed to serve anyone anything unless directed to do so at an event. If he wants me to play hostess or coffee server he tells me, other than that, I belong to him to serve him... my service to anyone else is also serving him. I am selfish with my submission because it does not belong to me anymore, I would not give away my Daddy's belongings, my service belongs to him. He demands politeness to everyone. He will instruct me how to act in any group on an individual basis. The idea that anyone would expect any deference from me if I was a single submissive is enough to keep me away from an event. My respect and politeness I give to everyone, my deference I give to only One.

freex -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 11:56:46 AM)
To understand you must view the perspective, and for some of us we simply guess. I would presume that these individuals seek or crave the BDSM meets IRC wave for a simple power or ego trip. IRC, chat, what ever medium non physical involves many possible excuses or ‘ reasons’. While I had my phase of teen Angst I spent a large portion of my waking hours in front of my pc simply chilling in chat and aimlessly washed away hours of life engaged in meaningless chat that seemed to keep me occupied. It was fun, exhilarating, and most of all I controlled my channels. I had a lower form of control, a limited recess that is held in the bowels of IRC world where one assumes they have power that extends beyond running an egg drop or DDos macro. Cutting it down I believe it’s a childish perspective allowing them to understand in such a fashion. Possibly that they play in this world of chat and IRC and you happened to either stumble across there domain or they entered yours simply trying to exert some authority to derive attention and test your metal. In the end those with the knowledge and understanding should know that this is not uncommon for people to misunderstand the “lifestyle” as it where. There are limits boundaries and what things are considered couth or socially acceptable in the lifestyle. And we all know there are people out there so simply gain attention or slide into the scene by pretending. ------- Domina ad porta liberatae mae

raiken -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 11:57:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GddssBella G'afternoon all: quote: ORIGINAL: MistressMelissa quote: Often times they feel obligated to do these things. I am one that believes that unless I am YOURS I am under obligation to cow tow or kiss your feet or any other part of your body. Not sure what falls under this classification. A slave should act with deference and thus I would not expect a slave to interrupt two dominants speaking. I also would expect a slave to step aside and let a dominant pass. Refilling a coffee cup if they have the pot in their hand would not be too much to ask. >>BLINKS<< You can't be serious. You think just because someone's orientation is submissive that they automatically have to defer to anyone that's dominant?? That's just crazy. I do believe in general courtesy, civility and manners. It's the grease that makes humanity more bearable. People are people first, regardless of what side of the flogger they choose to be on. This doesn't entitle anyone to preferential treatment simply because they chose to be the wielder, not the subject it's practiced upon. When folks forget reality and actually believe this alternative lifestyle is the measure by which everyone lives? They need some down time and to re-evaluate their mental stability. Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others... [:D] Bella Bella, To be fair. This is the way it is in that one Mistress's domain. If a servant or slave agrees to this type of rule and structure, then for them it is good, and we are not anyone to judge their way of living. i only have issue when others who live that way try to force the rest of us to conform to their one perspective, structure or protocol as being the ONLY way for all.

freex -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 12:19:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: raiken quote: ORIGINAL: GddssBella G'afternoon all: quote: ORIGINAL: MistressMelissa quote: Often times they feel obligated to do these things. I am one that believes that unless I am YOURS I am under obligation to cow tow or kiss your feet or any other part of your body. Not sure what falls under this classification. A slave should act with deference and thus I would not expect a slave to interrupt two dominants speaking. I also would expect a slave to step aside and let a dominant pass. Refilling a coffee cup if they have the pot in their hand would not be too much to ask. >>BLINKS<< You can't be serious. You think just because someone's orientation is submissive that they automatically have to defer to anyone that's dominant?? That's just crazy. I do believe in general courtesy, civility and manners. It's the grease that makes humanity more bearable. People are people first, regardless of what side of the flogger they choose to be on. This doesn't entitle anyone to preferential treatment simply because they chose to be the wielder, not the subject it's practiced upon. When folks forget reality and actually believe this alternative lifestyle is the measure by which everyone lives? They need some down time and to re-evaluate their mental stability. Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others... [:D] Bella Bella, To be fair. This is the way it is in that one Mistress's domain. If a servant or slave agrees to this type of rule and structure, then for them it is good, and we are not anyone to judge their way of living. i only have issue when others who live that way try to force the rest of us to conform to their one perspective, structure or protocol as being the ONLY way for all. Well said.

GddssBella -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 3:05:04 PM)
G'afternoon all: raiken and freex, I take it neither of you availed yourselves of the OP's original context? Here, let me refresh your memory. quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika I am always reading posts where people presume power over another person simply because of the title / label they each hold and I truly do not understand it. I know some who have the mind set that they are dom/me and anyone who labels themselves submissive or slave should jump through hoops to please them from the very first interaction. I have seen submissives / slaves given assignments (ie essays, writing, a time to be online, rt chores, etc) by a dom/me that they have just meet or are simply corresponding with. Often times they feel obligated to do these things. I am one that believes that unless I am YOURS I am under obligation to cow tow or kiss your feet or any other part of your body. If your a dom/me that believes that submissive/slaves should do everything they can to please you simply because of your labels. Why do you think that way? If your a submissive/slave that jumps through those hoops, does those essays, etc. for someone who is not YOUR dom/me. Why do you do it? I truly would like to understand the reasons behind these behaviors and ways of thinking. I'm not criticizing the other poster's private life and how she conducts her own household. That's her business. What I am critiquing is her belief that her rules extend beyond her front door. The vanilla world doesn't care a fig for her rules. Or yours. Or mine, for that matter. Orientation doesn't entitle anyone to a particular treatment. What the OP pointed out was this view is generally enacted during the very beginning of communications. Which is rather silly. Nothing was agreed to. No negotiations. Just expectations due to orientation. Folks should be civil, polite even, just on general principles. "Please." "Thank you." "You're welcome." - Phrases of common courtesy. "Sir." "Ma'am." - Not as titles, rather as good manners. Strangely enough, I get mistaken as a submissive often, simply because I exercise the lessons ingrained into me as a child. Says something sad about how we as people interact/view each other in this lifestyle. Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w others... [:D] Bella

freex -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 4:35:38 PM)
Hmm thought it was clear, yes I did read it and gave my opinion the first time round about why this happens; no one can dictate who it is right for. There are so many different views to the lifestyle, and who it pertains to; there are no more black or white lines. There is only opinion and shades or grey depending on who u are talking to. Myself I have my own views that differ from others; this might be because I was a late comer to the life style. I might also have my perspective based on evaluating how I feel about others perspectives and how things should be dealt with. I had said this is not a rare occurrence and this happens all the time in chat. This is nothing new for you (anyone) to stumble on too, this is what I had said. No matter the medium IRC, chat what have you it’s all the same. I also stated that others will pose and try and get themselves involved with the groups that have there heads together IE seeking a piece or some other agenda. Understanding this who knows who knows why. My goal in answering is not to assume context and emotions on something few should be able to answer except those who participate like this and they are either serious or not. Perspective is what it’s about, maybe I took the question and query wrong. Was this seeking cannon fodder or to understand, to become more learned where this comes from and more importantly how to contend with it? One will see players, posers, or what ever you want to call them in everything. It comes from lack of knowledge, ignorance, or blissful angst. Dom and sub/slaves seek something they can be seeking something serious or simply short term fun Dom can be the same way. They can just look for short time play and be serious or posers looking for a swing. If its all play then it can be simply a power play like video games there still are games like this and they are referred to as MUDS they where popular on the original BBS’es not forums going under the same name. A BBS was a system of computers in someone basement with many phone lines, one would dial in a chat live with other players send chant messages and play text based games. This is where it all got started this brought on a new era of communication and relating desires. Now its all instant desires and SVF (Sexually Verbal Foreplay) where we can simply chat and become aroused by taking our fantasies and dream world of power or loss there of into a new stage. One that is not sexual but completely fabrication and fictional. You can become part of a fantasy as a man who is now a female sub or even dom. You can play something different with a whole new name. Not everyone wants to play by the rules. I honestly live my life in the clouds most of the time assuming that people know not everyone is for real and that maybe the reason so many people live on Zantacs and Prozac is because they have a need for these alternative lifestyles either be them chat fantasy or RL lifestyle.. You could ponder this even, why do so many in the lifestyle scuff at members of the gothic BDSM crowed? It comes down to the same thing; people do what makes them happy for the moment. Compared to some they are mentally childish to others they are temporary fun, and even for others they are simply a way of making themselves feel more empowered which you are.

RiotGirl -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 5:46:32 PM)
quote: If your a submissive/slave that jumps through those hoops, does those essays, ect. for someone who is not YOUR dom/me. Why do you do it? hmmmmmmmm.. i dunno. In hopes of, generally speaking for the public? As in they hope to BE the dom/me's? Ah personally, i cant see myself doing it - except well.. maybe.. for certian ppl. i think i'd do it, simply out of some great and awesome respect for the person. There are some ppl on the planet, that you wouldnt mind doing a thing for..... and i think only for those few ppl - i would do it, but then it wouldnt be hoops. It would simply be because they ask/needed/wanted and i'd have no issue giving.

Amaros -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 6:42:13 PM)
Ummmm... cause they wannbe... dominated? Who am I to disagree?

RedSavageSlave -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 7:04:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ayasha So the question is not only why do people ask, but why do others follow those commands? Both are obviously people that do not know what they are doing, Now why on earth would you assume something like that? Maybe they do it because it fills a need for them? Some people do it and KNOW what it is they are doing. quote: that have a misconception of what the lifestyle really is about. Again, this is not borne from a misconcenption of what the lifestyle is really all about.. there is NO ONE TRUE WAY.. it is what they want it to be for as long as they want it to be and then they stop... Having said all of that.. its not something I would do.. I just dont see the point.

Sinergy -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 7:24:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I am polite to all people, but Sir and Master in a D/s sense is not something I say, which was discussed with my Daddy, whom I cannot speak for, but he does not seem real keen on me doing that either If it is part of a screen name I have no trouble using the term though Hello A/all, I worked in customer support for most of my adult life, despite now having moved into a job where the one operative word starts with F and rhymes with luck. But days in customer support and sales support die hard, and I have accepted the fact that I will generally call anybody Sir or Madam or whatever seems appropriate. I say thank you and you are welcome and various other social niceties. I am polite to a point I consider vaguely psychotic, but figure I am stuck with it and it doesnt seem to have any real downsides. Just this evening, the butcher (after yakking with him for 10 minutes) saw me yakking with another longshoreman I worked with earlier today, who was shopping. He comes up to me and goes "Do you know everybody?" Well, those I dont know yet I suspect I eventually will. He asked me what the secret was and I responded "People are nice to me because I am nice to them." Besides which, my other job lets me purge my raging bile duct as much as I need to. That is the job where I get to torment and abuse and be mean to and pick on and pick fights with and the like with other people. Anybody who knows me will tell you that I refuse to take my work home with me. A landslide flows down a hill, and eventually comes to rest wherever it will. A person attempting to Dominate me generally discovers that it is rather futile. I dont see much point in attempting to explain why. Enjoy your evening, Sinergy

Sinergy -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 7:28:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Amaros Ummmm... cause they wannbe... dominated? Who am I to disagree? I could say that I am the Dominant and I will probably do whatever the hell I feel like doing, whenever the hell I feel like doing it. I tend to think many people refuse to be nice because they equate things like being chivalrous or polite or nice or getting somebody a beer while they are up is somehow submissive. I normally encapsulate this into a sort of Zen idea that "People think too much, it is bad for their brain." I do stuff for people all the time. Try getting me to do something I dont want to do. Just me, etc. Sinergy

SadistCpl4fslv -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 7:29:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bearlee Well, I dunno. I call people in positions of authority...be they clerks in a store or teachers or doctors or just 'of authority' by their age, Sir and Maam...unless they do something to prove themselves not worthy of politness. I just like being polite; has nothing to do with D/s or Master or Mistresses. bearlee I agree with you bearlee. There is not enough respect in our society. I see it every day in the attitude of my students. They learn it from their parents and society's Icons. There seems to be a backward philosophy that respect must be earned before given in all situations, instead of respect being given unless actions merit otherwise. Kind of like presumed guilty until proven innocent.

OhReallyNow -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 7:37:44 PM)
quote: You can't be serious. You think just because someone's orientation is submissive that they automatically have to defer to anyone that's dominant?? That's just crazy. this slave follows Masters rules. If Master introduces her to one who is dominant, then yes, this slave refers to said person as Sir ( followed by their given name ). There have been times that this slave was told to address someone by Master ( again, followed by their given name ). There have also been times, in the general public, that Master has introduced his slave to others who are in no way BDSM oriented. Yet this slave still refers to those whom she is introduced to as Sir or Master; unless directed by my owner to do otherwise. *This slave finds no craziness in such actions [:)]*

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Why do people do this? (9/14/2006 11:36:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: MistressMelissa In accordance with my house manual any "little one" in my house is to address any dominant as Sir/Ma'am unless I say otherwise. How do they address switches? quote: A slave should act with deference and thus I would not expect a slave to interrupt two dominants speaking. I also would expect a slave to step aside and let a dominant pass. Refilling a coffee cup if they have the pot in their hand would not be too much to ask. What if the slave were running a business meeting? Should they not ask the people talking during the meeting to stop? Should they get everyone coffee if it runs out in the middle of the meeting? I did not have the impression that Melissa was speaking of being in a vanilla business setting. Nor did it occur to Me that we could stretch these examples to include something like two Dominants in a vanilla business meeting that happens to be being run by a slave who is aware that they are Dominant any more than they would be aware that he is a slave. raises eyebrows I think this is more in line with how someone (an unowned someone in particular who is seeking an Owner) who orients as a slave might present him/herself at a munch or other lifestyle event. Yes, we do observe and take note.

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