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What other words do you use for..... - 9/13/2006 2:47:25 PM

PONYSEEKER

Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

I have a sub that breaks every time I use a word like "slut" or "whore". She truly love BDSM and identifies with being a pony charecter so that when she is my little pony I am free to do whatever I like .... the problem is that if a common "BAD" word is used she folds. She does not express complaint at this ... its very visable like a dear in headlights back to normal at the snap of a finger type of thing. she is a person that normaly has great responsibility and is normaly in control of her suroundings and comes from a very conservative background and has trouble even saying to me that she enjoys being spanked however after a very, very simplified session shes drawn like a moth to flames. Her reactions are more intense than I have ever heard described or experienced myself so this is a preciouse gem that needs to be unwraped and savoured slowly. What advice do you have concerning different or alternative lines that might help unwrap this preciouse gift without breaking it?

Its funny, even though I adore the ponies, after each session I cant get that song "my puppy puddles" (from an 80's t.v. add) out of my head LOL.

Post #: 1

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/13/2006 3:24:43 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Well if you don't want her to break, then just don't use those words which break her.

Labels and names are in plethora- anything that suggests femininity, grace, delicacy, and worth are good. Princess, butterfly, kitty, kitten, gem, sweetie, honey, sugar, lady, etc etc etc.

Or there's always her full name. That gets people's attention.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to PONYSEEKER)

Post #: 2

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/13/2006 4:47:26 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

I'd try the middle ground. I'd use the word "Woman" It's all in how you say it and what you do while you are saying it :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to PONYSEEKER)

Post #: 3

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/13/2006 5:13:51 PM

Tamerofwild1s

Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline

well you already call her yourprecious gem . try that . if you still wanna let slut and whore fly out make sure she understands to you those are high forms of compliments ... and only use them in ways when she is pleasing you

But thats just my dammm opinion

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to PONYSEEKER)

Post #: 4

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/13/2006 5:27:31 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PONYSEEKER

.... the problem is that if a common "BAD" word is used she folds...

In addition to the choice of not using "common" BAD words (since there are such a variety to choose from lol), you also might consider adding adjectives so that she hears what you mean, that it's a positive, and not what society means when you use the word. For example, I often call my submissive my sweet little slutty bitch, though he darn well knows that at 6'2" he's not little at all.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to PONYSEEKER)

Post #: 5

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/13/2006 5:33:07 PM

Phoenixandnika

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline

I remember when my Master and I first moved in together, I nearly cried when he called me a slut during a scene.

To me, those words have a very negative meaning and I wasn't from a conservative background. Communication was the key, while he would use those words in a scene he would also caress my back, my cheek, my hair, look down at me lovingly reassuring me with his body language every time he spoke them.

It took some getting used to and it was something that was all in my head, but if he would have pushed it to hard to fast it would have/could have done alot of damage. Almost 2 yrs later I love it when he asks me who his deviant slut is or if I am his nasty lil whore.

Edited to add: The word MINE sends chills up my back every time.

< Message edited by Phoenixandnika -- 9/13/2006 5:39:17 PM >

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."

(in reply to PONYSEEKER)

Post #: 6

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/13/2006 6:10:33 PM

MrrPete

Posts: 614
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

She percieves it as humiliation and many subs can't deal with it and it's something that needs discussed BEFORE
engaging in it. You'll probably find something in her past is triggering the reaction. If that's the case then don't "break"
her as you call it. Ever.

Another possibility. I know a sub that doesn't like to be humiliated but she likes from me. If and when I calll her bitch, whore or cunt it is with the understanding that she is MY bitch, MY whore, MY cunt. It makes all the difference to HER.

_____________________________

Awrabest,

Mr. Pete

Boycott Citgo

(in reply to PONYSEEKER)

Post #: 7

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/13/2006 7:58:10 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tamerofwild1s

well you already call her yourprecious gem . try that . if you still wanna let slut and whore fly out make sure she understands to you those are high forms of compliments ... and only use them in ways when she is pleasing you

But thats just my dammm opinion

I dunno. If she is so sensitive to those names, I don't see that changing no matter how much sugar you put on it. It'd be like a fem slave caressing her master's face and in all gentleness saying something like "My Master, my Beloved Sweet Sack o' Sh*t" .. your conscious mind is not gonna buy it no matter HOW many times she tells you it's a good thing. JMO

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)

Post #: 8

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/14/2006 3:53:37 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

I loathe all of those words and don't use them directly in any context. When I'm actively taking charge of the girl, that's what I call her - "girl"!

Focus.

(in reply to PONYSEEKER)

Post #: 9

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/14/2006 3:58:57 AM

NastyDaddy

Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

I dunno about that Lotus, just as "My Mistress, my Beloved Sweet Sack o' Sh*it" prolly wouldn't sound much like a bottom on your side of the fence now would it? It would likely come across as topping from the bottom or a brat SAM.

If it's not an agreed limit, then she's got an issue to resolve... simple. No more would you call her a slut in a vanilla situation as you would spread her buttocks and display or toy with her sphincter in a vanilla situation, so her linking vanilla world labels to bdsm play as a negative, or a turn-off switch is really over the top in her mindset, especially if she identifies as a submissive who wants to be molded and used to her dominant's desires.

If the submissive can't grasp that simple concept, then maybe they would rather be called "My dirty little wannabe".... yeah, "suck my cock you nasty little cumwannabe!"

I don't think it wouldn't take long to see her favoring being called a "slut"... especially being called a "good slut!"

_____________________________

"You may be right, I may be crazy... but I may just be the lunatic you're looking for!"

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 10

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/14/2006 4:58:38 AM

Phoenixandnika

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

I loathe all of those words and don't use them directly in any context. When I'm actively taking charge of the girl, that's what I call her - "girl"!

Focus.

I've got to say this is one of my personal pet peeves. I HATE being called "girl" or "little one". I am a grown woman, not a girl, not a child, not a little.

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 11

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/14/2006 5:04:24 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I have to agree with you Phoenixandnika, I hate it when I hear someone call me *girl*. I am 40 years old I haven't been a *girl* in a long time and my usual response is to call the offender *boy*. Its surprising how many men get angry at being called *boy* yet its perfectly acceptable to call a woman *girl*, but I personally don't give two shits how mad they get.

I will set them straight everytime.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)

Post #: 12

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/14/2006 5:08:03 AM

Phoenixandnika

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I have to agree with you Phoenixandnika, I hate it when I hear someone call me *girl*. I am 40 years old I haven't been a *girl* in a long time and my usual response is to call the offender *boy*. Its surprising how many men get angry at being called *boy* yet its perfectly acceptable to call a woman *girl*, but I personally don't give two shits how mad they get. I will set them straight everytime.

~Lashra

Exactly!
I do that as well and uselly get the rant about how I am disrespectful and a wannabe or fake with a mix of of colorful juvinile curse words inbetween.

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 13

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/14/2006 5:08:08 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

If my post made anyone "squwick" even for a second, it was meant to.. It was to give you that little stab in the heart a woman feels when she hears words. If the first words uttered to deride a woman is "slut, bitch, whore" then you use them as "high praise".. I really think the males are fooling themselves.

I guess when I use derogatory words, I mean them.

Too many use D/s as an excuse instead of a lifestyle.

Just because one is a member of the KKK, it does not justify racial slurs because "it's their way". Words hold power. Words can damage. Ponyseeker is wise in thinking it through.

But (sigh) my little opinion isn't going to change the world.. I just hope it makes people think once in awhile.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to NastyDaddy)

Post #: 14

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/14/2006 5:42:10 AM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

If my post made anyone "squwick" even for a second, it was meant to.. It was to give you that little stab in the heart a woman feels when she hears words. If the first words uttered to deride a woman is "slut, bitch, whore" then you use them as "high praise".. I really think the males are fooling themselves.

I guess when I use derogatory words, I mean them.

Too many use D/s as an excuse instead of a lifestyle.

Just because one is a member of the KKK, it does not justify racial slurs because "it's their way". Words hold power. Words can damage. Ponyseeker is wise in thinking it through.

But (sigh) my little opinion isn't going to change the world.. I just hope it makes people think once in awhile.

I agree with this completely. Its not like she can just get over it. Her association to these words has long been ingrained.

Your "sack o shit" example was the perfect way to convey this point.

Maybe with some care and re-conditioning she can grow to see these words as positives when used between herself and her dominant, as others have done. But forcing her to accept it or be called worse, is just all wrong and its going to fuck up a good thing, imo

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 15

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/14/2006 5:51:45 AM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

I suggest you try calling her poontang -- it isn't very common, it sounds kinda comical and it is a euphemism for cunt. Once she gets used to that, perhaps you can move on to twat and cunt after that.

Similarly instead of slut or whore, you could try trollop, floozy, or strumpet and follow a similar progression of desensitizing her until she doesn't flinch even when you call her fuckhole.

Just remember -- a thesaurus is your friend.

(in reply to PONYSEEKER)

Post #: 16

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/14/2006 6:09:38 AM

Phoenixandnika

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other word would smell as sweet."
~Shakespeare~

So does calling her another form of the same word truly change what your calling her? If calling her "cunt" screws with her head, don't you think calling her "pootang" or "pussy" would probably have the same effect?

Would a true dom/me risk emotionally damaging his property so he can use such a term?I personally don't think they would, but that is simply my opinion I suppose.

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."

(in reply to happypervert)

Post #: 17

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/14/2006 7:18:33 AM

Horadell

Posts: 47
Joined: 9/6/2006
From: SW Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other word would smell as sweet."
~Shakespeare~

So does calling her another form of the same word truly change what your calling her? If calling her "cunt" screws with her head, don't you think calling her "pootang" or "pussy" would probably have the same effect?

Would a true dom/me risk emotionally damaging his property so he can use such a term?I personally don't think they would, but that is simply my opinion I suppose.

This is exactly what should have been said from the beginning.

Why do you call her whore, slut, cunt, to begin with? Do you feel the need to humiliate her? You may not think that those words mean bad things, of course, but she does.

If you say, well, I did it in past D/s relationships... All relationships are different. Everyone has hard limits, and any amount of negotiates won't usually change them.

Instead of trying to desensitize her to the words, thereby doing extreme damage in the process and possibly losing your precious little gem, take a more caring perspective at it.

In regards to the KKK reference above, should a racial slur be used at an event, it would be perfectly acceptable. Should the OP call his sub a slut at the grocery store, it would be unacceptable. What makes something appropriate is not who says it, but the context and environment in which it is said. In his case, the environment and context are perfect, **Except** his sub doesn't take comfort in those words. Is that her failing? her being a bad sub? I don't think it is.

All I am trying to say in this is-- If she doesnt like being demeaned, don't demean her. It isnt her trying to take control, it isnt her topping from the bottom, its like her saying, Don't cut me, dont try vampirism, dont burn me, dont beat me, dont break my hard limit, whatever it may be. if she cant take being called whore/slut/cunt and you cant deal with calling her something that is easily viewed as positive, as the list was mentioned by LA above, then I suggest you let your precious gem go, before you seriously damage her, and then, she wont be so precious anymore, but broken, battered, and torn between her love for you, and her absolute hatred for D/s and even possibly you.

JMHO....

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)

Post #: 18

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/14/2006 7:34:17 AM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

when you call her fuckhole.

lmaoooooooo. Fuckhole?? I love it!!

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to happypervert)

Post #: 19

RE: What other words do you use for..... - 9/14/2006 8:29:22 AM

tade

Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
Status: offline

Not that any of what I am saying hasn't already been said, but....

Depends on the mood you are trying to create. We use "bad" names if we are wanting a pet to feel low and "good" names when we want them feeling good. I lean in and lightly tell our kit'n that she is "Such a good little slut" after a strong session and it reassures her that she is pleasing us. You can see her eyes light up. I lean in after my wife has had a go with her for awhile and growl in her ear "Now it's my turn you little slut" and you can see her tense up, knowing what's coming next. Context matters most.

She has no problems with either, as long as they make us happy. If like a few posts up we knew that she didn't like bing called "little, girl" or what have you then surely those names would not come out unless it was to elicit the desired effect. In that case "That little girl has it coming"...

_____________________________

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

It's a magical world Hobbes 'ole buddy. Let's go explorin'~ Calvin

(in reply to marieToo)

Post #: 20

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