|
CreativeDominant -> RE: A Father's Reaction (9/20/2006 7:28:24 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
I have been pondering this question in my mind for awhile. We often read about mothers whose daughters come to them, professing their submission. In such cases, it seems most daughters are supported by their mothers in this situation.
My question, however, is about fathers. Even in the “vanilla” world, we hear the phrase “No man is good enough for my daughter.” But what about the world of D/s? If you are a Master, how would you feel if your adult daughter approached you and told you she is a slave? How would you respond if the very things you enjoy with your slave, she was enjoying with a Master? Would it cause you to view your activity with your slave/submissive differently?
If you are a submissive or a slave, would it be more difficult for you to approach your father with this revelation than your mother? It would have been difficult to approach my Dad with this. He once told me no one was good enough for me. I asked if he preferred me to be alone, then? He laughed, and did not respond.
Your thoughts?
I separated from my ex in 1999 and we divorced in 2000 when my oldest daughter was 15 and my youngest daughter was 12. With my oldest daughter, I watched her go through her teen years hooked up to a boyfriend that had that curious combination of bravado and submission. I saw her frustration: she 'loved' the guy, wanted him to be strong and take charge in the relationship and yet, fought his every attempt to do so. Granted, some of his attempts were clumsy but some of them were nothing more than him trying to assert his "role" as the leader in the relationship (something my daughter said she wanted). Part of the reason she fought him is the amount of trouble he kept getting into...brushes with the law, cheating on her, etc., etc.. I tried to guide and advise and console her without being overbearing. They eventually split. She started college and in her second year became involved with a young man who, except for the brushes with the law (thank God!), reminds me a lot of her first boyfriend. Oddly enough...~rolling my eyes~....she has had the same kind of troubles with him. One of the times she came to me with another one of their problems, I sat down with her and began talking to her at a more adult level than I had before. She not only knew I was dominant but into the kinky side as well, thanks to my being outed to her by my ex. I told her that I did not want to go into the sexual arena but I did want to tell her my opinion: "Are you dominant, my first-born? You state that you want the guy to "take charge" in the relationship and yet, when they do, you fight them because they have not done it 'your way'. Right now, you are acting a lot like your mother and a lot of men and women...you say you want one thing from your partner but then you countermand it and tell them how they have to do it for it to be proper. You say you want strong guys who will take charge and yet, you always pick guys who try and then, when you countermand them, they turn around and back down after fighting with you over it...they don't do it your way but they let you "win" the fight. Which would make you happier...finding a strong guy who would be perfectly happy letting you run the relationship AND who follows your 'suggestions' as to how to treat you OR saying that you want a strong guy who will take charge and then, continue to fight his every attempt to do so because he "just doesn't do it right" and then fussing because even though he has backed down, he still won't do it your way OR sitting down, figuring out if you want to be woman who accepts the man as leader and being the follower?" She looked at me in kind of a shocked fashion but about a month later, she told me that my words that day had set her to thinking about who and what she is and what she wants from a relationship. She's not there yet...and I am sure it would be easier if she was not still involved with the boyfriend...but at least she has had an honest answer about some of her inclinations and thought patterns
As far as the sexuality part goes...I've never been one of those dads who denies that his daughters are sexual beings. That being said, I have no desire to know what my daughters do sexually and I don't spend a lot of time wondering. As for their thoughts about my own inclinations sexually, I've noted on here before that they were angry about it at first but a lot of that was tied into the divorce too...now I tend to get the reaction I think a lot of parents get when their kids get any idea that their parents are still sexual beings..."Ewwwwwwwwwwww...gross, Dad".
|
|
|
|
