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Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 9:55:17 AM

cherishableslave

Posts: 22
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

Greetings Doms-mes, slaves/subs, ok here is the thing Master and i were speaking about breakfast last night. i know this sounds dumb believe i am getting to the point lol well Master said He rarelly eats breakfast, and i just said to Him you should it is the most important meal of the day. i was just giving him a pointer, to help Him and He said He thinks i am forgetting who i am superior to, and that i will be punished hard. Now my question is does this happen alot in D/s? i was just trying to be helpful and help my Daddy out

Sincerely Ryboom's lil slave

Post #: 1

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 9:58:55 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

well it was not what you said , but how you said it....and i think you know that dont you?

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to cherishableslave)

Post #: 2

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 10:00:26 AM

Yang4yin

Posts: 1677
Joined: 7/26/2006
From: NC (USA)
Status: offline

Personally, I think he's being ridiculous!

(in reply to cherishableslave)

Post #: 3

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 10:02:00 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

yeah well theres that too...

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to Yang4yin)

Post #: 4

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 10:04:12 AM

cherishableslave

Posts: 22
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

Well i was just trying to be nice is all, because He is teacher and teaches allday, and i just thought i would let Him know He should eat breakfast because i care i am very caring slave and i love and care about Him a whole lot , and He needs His energy to keep Him going allday

Sincerely Ryboom's lil slave

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 5

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 10:04:49 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

I would have just said no...when my sub looks out for me, I like it. I may or may not agree with his or her assessment of the situation but I value their input when they have my best interests at heart. If it was a battle, I'd perhaps take some action but a suggestion...I'd just say, thanks but I don't want breakfast. Every dynamic is different, though...perhaps talk to him about it?

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to Yang4yin)

Post #: 6

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 10:05:02 AM

Yang4yin

Posts: 1677
Joined: 7/26/2006
From: NC (USA)
Status: offline

I'd want my sub/slave to be helpful. Even if he doesn't want that, there's still no reason for hard punishment for what she said.

Some people get too wrapped up in being the almighty Master. sheesh!

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 7

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 10:05:21 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Perhaps it was pounded into him as a kid that breakfast was important and he was forced to eat what he didn't want. We all have odd buttons like that installed (I hate being told to smile when I'm unhappy or feeling blue). Or, perhaps you said it in a way he didn't like. Explain that you merely meant to help, not offend and ask why it offended him. Make sure you understand or the punishment will actually be useless.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to cherishableslave)

Post #: 8

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 10:09:20 AM

Yang4yin

Posts: 1677
Joined: 7/26/2006
From: NC (USA)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

(I hate being told to smile when I'm unhappy or feeling blue).

Hey! Smile!

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 9

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 10:14:09 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

A teacher knows how to take good advise and even if it he doesn't want to accept it. You are merely caring about his welfare and it sounds to me as if he has"I am the superior" on the brain. Sounds like he is new to the Dom shoes, hopefully in time he will learn how to dance in them with a better grace.

I think Dom/subs should always be able to communicate freely because when the communication stops that when the trouble starts.

Good luck,
~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to cherishableslave)

Post #: 10

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 10:15:39 AM

PrimitiveLogic

Posts: 145
Joined: 4/25/2006
From: Md.
Status: offline

Power is not all knowing. However; knowing, is pretty powerful.
Judicious introduction /application of data and/or opinion is often far more important its content. We have all wanted to get that super important point across; only to have the entire conversation crash and burn.
Remember basic communication concepts:
Is what you want to say what you are really saying?
Is the person ready, and the time, and place the optimal opportunity?
Are you able to validate that the person is processing what and why you are saying it?

I believe it was Dante' who said that the streets of Hell are paved with good intentions. Damnit.

Perhaps it would have been a better start to have complimented him on how positive it was to share the beginning of the day with him. Not to mention how it made you feel fulfilled having been in service to his health and well being.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 11

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 10:20:40 AM

Yang4yin

Posts: 1677
Joined: 7/26/2006
From: NC (USA)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrimitiveLogic

Perhaps it would have been a better start to have complimented him on how positive it was to share the beginning of the day with him. Not to mention how it made you feel fulfilled having been in service to his health and well being.

Something tells me even that wouldn't have worker for her master.

(in reply to PrimitiveLogic)

Post #: 12

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 10:24:07 AM

raiken

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cherishableslave

Greetings Doms-mes, slaves/subs, ok here is the thing Master and i were speaking about breakfast last night. i know this sounds dumb believe i am getting to the point lol well Master said He rarelly eats breakfast, and i just said to Him you should it is the most important meal of the day. i was just giving him a pointer, to help Him and He said He thinks i am forgetting who i am superior to, and that i will be punished hard. Now my question is does this happen alot in D/s? i was just trying to be helpful and help my Daddy out

Sincerely Ryboom's lil slave

Ah i think he is just hung up on semantics, this is just normal conversation, with nothing to do with who is Dom or sub. However, he may desire you to speak to him always with an extra thoughtfulness even when speaking about general things or in general conversation. Perhaps you should ask him to be more clear in what he expects from you in this area. Else you may find yourself walking on constant eggshells and that can lead to other issues down the road. Could also be that he was in a "mood" that morning also.

(in reply to cherishableslave)

Post #: 13

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 10:24:57 AM

PrimitiveLogic

Posts: 145
Joined: 4/25/2006
From: Md.
Status: offline

Aside from Master FireMaam's response( which could be very real); He might just be a slow to rise and embrace the day man. I work with numerous peole who don't wake up and/or become civil til their 3rd cup of coffee. Then there's the wild animals...I mean mmmm attentive mannerful children waiting for him at school.

< Message edited by PrimitiveLogic -- 9/21/2006 10:25:56 AM >

(in reply to Yang4yin)

Post #: 14

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 10:29:12 AM

withthesewings

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

I personally think it was a caring and heartfelt thing to say. Too bad he couldn't see it that way. Geesh.

(in reply to PrimitiveLogic)

Post #: 15

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 10:29:54 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I think you two obviously need to have a discussion about this. If he seriously doesn’t want you to be proactive and give him your feelings on subjects, then he needs to let you know. I don’t know why he needs to punish you for a first offense if you haven’t been told before that this is a behavior he doesn’t want from you.

A discussion is also important to make it clear between you both what is ok and what isn’t ok. Many masters want their slaves to be their assistants and remind them of things and do things for them and push them to do the things they should- and many masters consider it inappropriate. He needs to clarify to you exactly what he wants your approach to be and you need to make sure you understand and can follow it.

Punishment, as we see, simply makes it a confused mess.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to cherishableslave)

Post #: 16

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 10:35:30 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Yang4yin

I'd want my sub/slave to be helpful. Even if he doesn't want that, there's still no reason for hard punishment for what she said.

Some people get too wrapped up in being the almighty Master. sheesh!

I kind of like this point of view myself.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Yang4yin)

Post #: 17

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 10:39:19 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

That happens all the time in my dynamic and my Daddy does not mind it, but he does what he wants, he is the dom. I do not like him drinking Splenda for example as I think it is too new to understand what it does in the human body, but he doesn't listen to me... he doesn't have to, and I am not allowed to "nag" him about such things. I am allowed to present information to support my position , but that is because he is the type of person that welcomes fresh perspectives and new information.

I tend to be very mother hennish to those I care for, but that has nothing to do with my submissiveness, and I am not being unsubmissive because I am like this... it is just another aspect of my personality.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to cherishableslave)

Post #: 18

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 10:39:29 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

It would appear your owner has not trained you very well....i would have thought that for him to get as upset as he appears to be, that you would have known not to use a directive or a command in your languaging.

If this is truly coming out of left field for you and you honestly dont know why he is going to punish you then the fault lies with him, and you have not warranted consequences IMHO.

I think that this is a microcosm of the bigger picture, it does not matter if his actions are right or wrong good or bad, what matters is that you understand what he expects from you and what you have signed up for.

And that he understands it is his duty to know what he expects from you, and what is a punishable offense, and to train you to understand not only the boundaries and limitations of your new cage, but also to show you the freedoms and ecstasy your new bars can offer you as well.

If he is new i would suggest a mentor, i know a lot of folks 'wing it', but its a lot of energy and heartache that is unnecessary if you can instead learn from some one who has been there already.

So much of we do here is applied behaviorial sciences, techniques that are skills that need to be learned, and in fact if you ask me, they are integral to have mastered to have a harmonious transition to a completely new reality...the reality of being a slave.

the reality of having made a conscious choice to not make the majority decisions of your life

the reality of having made the conscious choice to be accountable and to accept consequences for your behavior

the reality of having made the conscious choice to have physical punishment as part of your atonement for you infractions

the reality of having made the conscious choice have a Superior

the reality of having made the conscious choice of living with boundaries and limitations that go counter to what you have always known

the reality of having made the conscious choice to to face deep internal struggles and to in many cases figure out the answers completly on your own

the reality of having made the conscious choice to be of service, to be a servant, to put another before yourself

the reality of having made the conscious choice to be modified....phyically, mentally and even spiritually to another's will and desire.

you have made the choice to be clay in his hands, and allow him to be the sculptor, to my mind, you need to be really clear:

if he has a vision for what you will become
if he has the skills to create you in that way...
and most importantly
if you like/love that vision and choose to become it.

< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 9/21/2006 10:51:52 AM >

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to Yang4yin)

Post #: 19

RE: Just A General Question - 9/21/2006 11:02:33 AM

cherishableslave

Posts: 22
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

My Master is a very good Master and i know i am very good slave i do everything he says without hesitations, the thing is we spoke this conversation online. after i told Him that He should eat breakfast and i said it with Daddy of course, He says is MY slave Telling ME what to do? i said no i am just trying to help. He said well nonetheless you will punished hard next time.This was online

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 20

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