Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: respect....


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: respect.... Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: respect.... - 9/22/2006 8:05:16 AM   
Kashan


Posts: 51
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline 		I think some people are confusing respect with common courtesy. No one can respect someone they don't know. As for respecting subs, well, I think you'd have to respect them as a sub, the same way you'd respect someone who is really skilled at their craft. It does not mean you put them on a pedestal and worship them, it just means you appreciate their contribution as something valueable.

_____________________________

"Life is pain, anyone who tells you different is trying to sell you something." ~the Man in Black

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: respect.... - 9/22/2006 8:09:42 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kashan

I think some people are confusing respect with common courtesy. No one can respect someone they don't know. As for respecting subs, well, I think you'd have to respect them as a sub, the same way you'd respect someone who is really skilled at their craft. It does not mean you put them on a pedestal and worship them, it just means you appreciate their contribution as something valueable.


This pretty much reflects my thoughts on this subject. I respect very few. I express common courtesy to all until they show me they do not deserve it.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Kashan)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: respect.... - 9/22/2006 8:16:50 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

It is interesting to see all these submissives who say they deserve respect from the dominant. If the roles were reversed, and the dominant was the one saying they deserved the respect, would you all agree then?


There was one thing that nagged at me after I posted earlier.

Pound for pound, because of what I said earlier, people who submit deserve more respect 'just for being in that position', than the person on the other side of the whip.  Myself included.

So, speaking of the 'earned' aspect, let me phrase it this way.

In my opinion, a submissive has my respect just for existing, and allowing to be done to them 'whatever'.  A dominant deserves respect if and only if they don't screw it up.  Myself included.

And I expect that not to be a popular opinion amongst some because I do not bring a 'me, me, me' ethos to what I do.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: respect.... - 9/22/2006 8:30:57 AM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline 		Respect has to do with a perception one has.

Courtesy is how we get there.

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: respect.... - 9/22/2006 8:31:29 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx
In my opinion, a submissive has my respect just for existing, and allowing to be done to them 'whatever'.  A dominant deserves respect if and only if they don't screw it up.  Myself included.

For me it has nothing to do with the me me me thing, but more that simply they are BOTH in the relationship, they BOTH consented to it and BOTH make it what it is.  So to arbitrarily give the respect to ONE of the participants for a situation everyone is responsible for seems very illogical to me.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: respect.... - 9/22/2006 8:43:39 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx
In my opinion, a submissive has my respect just for existing, and allowing to be done to them 'whatever'.  A dominant deserves respect if and only if they don't screw it up.  Myself included.

For me it has nothing to do with the me me me thing, but more that simply they are BOTH in the relationship, they BOTH consented to it and BOTH make it what it is.  So to arbitrarily give the respect to ONE of the participants for a situation everyone is responsible for seems very illogical to me.


The illogic, if there is some, is me.

I require much from a submissive to propel their submission, to give them the headspace and bodyspace to remain in their place.  Call that their needs, if you will.

I personally have no similar needs.  I don't require a partner at all, but if when I have one they get treated the best (including all of the pain and nastiness and all the grimy stuff), and you can trust me that they never wish to leave.  A fly on the wall would have a very tough time seeing any of my personal motivations.

An odd duck, indeed.

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: respect.... - 9/22/2006 8:49:49 AM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		[quote]ORIGINAL: littlemissub

Do submissives or slaves deserve it?  And if so, under what circumstances?
[/quote]
 
Fast reply:
 
When speaking of respect, i have a general respect, or esteem for life, and all life forms.   However, humanity has proven time and again that not all humans display the attributes of what many consider to be held in high regard, esteem, or value. 
 
So as far as my given respect to an individual, no, i am not able to automatically give it out freely to all, for it is a valuable commodity that is precious to me.  It is not a matter of who is deserving, it is more a matter of merits earned in the eyes of self and others. 
 
A person who respects themselves, will usually be a person who garners respect from others without having to put much effort into it.  If a person has no self respect, they usually will not be able to earn it, gain it, contain it, or give it out.  Universal law of attraction applies:  What we put out, is ultimately what we will receive.  A person who is FILLED with respect, respects themselves, and therefore, naturally conducts themselves respectfully in most if not all situations; it just pours out in every area of their life, even when in a crisis situation.  
 
In turn, this respect, is recognized by others who possess this same esteem and value.  Respect  therefore becomes a mutual exchange of the universal principle of something given, and something received.  Not all are of the same fabric of esteem and value, therefore not all will be attracted to one that is.  Respect is born from self "esteem" first and foremost.  If one hasn't the esteem for self, they will not understand what it means to truly esteem "respect" or recognize it in another.
 
Those that can't recognize respect in another, do not possess it, and will trample over it as if they were trampling through weeds in the garden, not knowing the difference between a blossom and a thorn, they treat all the same.


(in reply to littlemissub)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: respect.... - 9/22/2006 9:25:23 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		General reply:

Another respect thread.....

I think people are mainly seeing the term respect to mean holding another person in high or superior regard.  And thats one way to look at it;  probably the most common.

I believe that respect is something that you feel/have for life in general.  If you extend common courtesy to a stranger, you do so because you have self respect and that self respect compells you to behave that way.

I have a healthy respect for a tidal wave too.  Do I know it or hold it in high esteem?  No, but I respect the fact that it could drown me if I fuck with it.

There are so many interpretations of the word respect.  Do I have respect for life and the living and the world around me?  Yes....all of it, not just some of it.  

Do I hold everyone I know in high regard?  No way. 

I believe respect all roots back to oneself.  I either behave as a self-respecting person, or I do not.  Those around me, regardless of their behavior, do not change that.

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to raiken)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: respect.... - 9/22/2006 9:54:54 AM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx
In my opinion, a submissive has my respect just for existing, and allowing to be done to them 'whatever'.  A dominant deserves respect if and only if they don't screw it up.  Myself included.

For me it has nothing to do with the me me me thing, but more that simply they are BOTH in the relationship, they BOTH consented to it and BOTH make it what it is.  So to arbitrarily give the respect to ONE of the participants for a situation everyone is responsible for seems very illogical to me.


The illogic, if there is some, is me.

I require much from a submissive to propel their submission, to give them the headspace and bodyspace to remain in their place.  Call that their needs, if you will.

I personally have no similar needs.  I don't require a partner at all, but if when I have one they get treated the best (including all of the pain and nastiness and all the grimy stuff), and you can trust me that they never wish to leave.  A fly on the wall would have a very tough time seeing any of my personal motivations.

An odd duck, indeed.


I'm pretty much the same way-having another around can be fun-but I don't really ever get that attached. It greatly bothered any number of women that no matter what they did, I never really seemed to "need" them. I guess I am just too independent to become co-dependent.

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: respect - 9/22/2006 10:10:43 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlemissub

Do submissives or slaves deserve it? And if so, under what circumstances?



Slaves do not deserve respect, though a wise owner should have in his or her character all the qualities of a noble ruler who dominates with sound judgment.




< Message edited by amayos -- 9/22/2006 10:12:07 AM >

(in reply to littlemissub)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: respect - 9/22/2006 2:38:24 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I don't think I *deserve* anything, including respect.  If I get respect then that's rather wonderful......if I don't then there's little I can do about it or would want to do about it. I'm not sure where the *deserve* bit fits in.

agirl 

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: respect - 9/22/2006 5:17:41 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I don't think I *deserve* anything, including respect.  If I get respect then that's rather wonderful......if I don't then there's little I can do about it or would want to do about it. I'm not sure where the *deserve* bit fits in.

agirl 


agirl:

I found your response interesting.

If you don't mind my asking....

Do you believe you have value?

If so, do you believe you should be appreciated for that value?


_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: respect.... - 9/22/2006 7:30:18 PM   
thisishis


Posts: 278
Joined: 5/11/2006
From: Southeastern MA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlemissub

Do submissives or slaves deserve it?  And if so, under what circumstances?
From whom?? Whether i say yes, or say no depends upon the answer to that question.

Speaking of anyone... i give common courtesy and i expect (except from the Man who owns me) the same in return, UP FRONT ... because everyone deserves at least that much, up front (meaning upon first meeting and prior to getting to know them aka first crossing paths with  ...etc.).

Speaking of the Man who Owns me, according to the definition of slave which i live by, i do not have expectations nor choice regarding any demand of Him including and not limited to what i deserve and/or do not deserve coming from Him. Whatever i get is not something which i decide that i'm deserving of, nor is it my right to ... whatever i get from Him is by priviledge alone. i'm priviledged to know that He does view me as being worthy of respect.

i give everyone the benefit of the doubt up front regarding common courtesy...(regardless of what they choose to label themselves as, regardless of how they define their place in society, be it submissive/slave or Dom/Domme Owner... regardless of gender, sexual preference, race, religion, origin, creed, etc ect ect) because they are all human beings, and i stand firm in my belief that all people deserve at least that much.
 
If anyone demonstrates disrespect toward me, and i have done nothing to them to prove that i am deserving of their behavior, i will tell them quite clearly and .... respectfully ....what i think of them and their behavior and cut off all contact with them. This goes for people online as well as offline ... whether Dom/Domme or slave/submissive/switch ..... whatever/whoever.

 If it's proven that they are responsible in returning the favor of common courtesy, in the same regard, then, for me, they are often regarded as deserving and at that point i find it is warranted to include a bit (or more, or less) of common respect.

< Message edited by thisishis -- 9/22/2006 7:46:01 PM >

_____________________________

Sincerely, his

How I'm kept busy these days: http://modelmayhem.com/member.php?id=368120




(in reply to littlemissub)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: respect.... - 9/22/2006 7:33:06 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlemissub

Do submissives or slaves deserve it?  And if so, under what circumstances?


to me respect is earned... be the person Dominant, submissive, or whatever.



_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to littlemissub)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: respect.... - 9/22/2006 7:45:59 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		Well, *my* submissive and submissive/puppy have certainly earned my respect. But though I'm polite, everybody else, dom/me and sub, is on a case by case basis.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to littlemissub)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: respect.... - 9/22/2006 9:11:06 PM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		Having read through the varied responses of more than one opinion, I got to say this topic is very intriguing, from both the perspective of the submissive, to the switch, to the dominant... and of course, variety is the spice of life.  Having said that, My two cents incoming....

I saw a couple of posts in reply to someone who said everyone deserves respect... it is disrespect that is earned.  Within those responses, common coutesy was brought up.  Hate to tell you, folks.... but common courtesy IS a form of respect.  If I see an elderly gentleman, or lady for that matter, they have my respect, whether they want it or not.  This goes for all ages, and walks of life, in My book. 

Even the bums walkin the streets have my respect.  some of them have led very interesting lives, and although he/she may not smell like someone you'd want to invite into your car, you would be surprised how many of them have a hard time taking a handout.  I can tell you from personal experience, it's DAMNED hard to accept gifts from complete strangers, when you have nothing but Pride to your name. 

Some father once said, "You can love me, or you can hate me, but you damned well better respect me."  Well, not to put too fine a point on things, I think he summed it up perfectly.

Long story short (I know... too late,)  Everybody and everything deserves respect.  The real question you should ask yourself is... am I trustworthy, and self disciplined enough to know I deserve respect?  When you've got the answer to that, then you have made the first real step.


Creole

_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to Misstoyou)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: respect - 9/22/2006 9:35:20 PM   
SadistCpl4fslv


Posts: 77
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlemissub

Do submissives or slaves deserve it? And if so, under what circumstances?



Slaves do not deserve respect, though a wise owner should have in his or her character all the qualities of a noble ruler who dominates with sound judgment.





Being a history nut, I tend to view and form my own philosophy regarding the treatment of slaves on historical traditions.  There is a real lesson to be learned in that respect.  At the peek of the Roman Empire slaves did not deserve respect in the eyes of their owners because they were by and large extracts from conquered peoples.  However, the wise owner gave their slaves respect, treated them well, and even in many cases made them apart of their family.  They did this because Roman law provided slaves at the end of seven years of service, with very rare exceptions, the choice to either become freemen or bond servants which meant they would continue to serve their owner.  If the slave chose to become a bond servant it was for life and binding until the death of the slave or the owner.  Owners knew that if they were to keep their well trained and quality slaves in their service, they must show them "respect" whether they felt they deserved it or not or they would likely loose them at the end of their seven years of servitude.  Food for thought.  I find that in most M/s relationships there is a mirror of this concept even if not written law.  Owners that don't give their slaves at least some measure of respect tend to loose them and because of the consent factor it is much sooner than seven years.

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: respect - 9/22/2006 11:43:11 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		Respect imo is "giving something or someone its due" so to speak.  There are levels of respect and to gain a high level of respect from me would take time.  i respect a bum on the street but not the same way i would respect, let's say, Mother Theresa. i think the level of respect we have for people or things tells us a lot about our own value systems and thinking processes.  Courtesy is a form of respect and to me should be afforded to everyone untill they prove in some fashion they don't deserve it, ie - by being rude or abusive. 

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to SadistCpl4fslv)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: respect.... - 9/22/2006 11:48:28 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlemissub

Do submissives or slaves deserve it?  And if so, under what circumstances?

I really hate answering a question with a question, but why would you think that because you're a submissive or slave that you wouldn't deserve respect?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to littlemissub)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: respect.... - 9/23/2006 12:21:20 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlemissub
Do submissives or slaves deserve it?  And if so, under what circumstances?
I think everyone deserves respect, unless and until they show they lack honor or humane qualities.
I was chatting with a lovely man the other day, and everything came to an abrupt halt when he said he has respect for the doctor but none for the walmart teller.   Explaining to me that the walmart teller as an average adult, showed poor judgement and lacked ambition, and therefore was not worthy of respect, even while acknowledging that what a person does is not necessarily a reflection of who a person is.
That was the last day we chat, even as we were making plans to meet.    M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to littlemissub)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: respect.... Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109