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RE: respect.... - 9/23/2006 5:06:57 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

It is interesting to see all these submissives who say they deserve respect from the dominant. If the roles were reversed, and the dominant was the one saying they deserved the respect, would you all agree then?


I would. I'm in the camp that says everyone deserves respect. After that, what they do with it and to it is their business. Respect is mine to give. No one earns it. However, it's also mine to take back, so while someone doesn't have to earn it, they sure can lose it.

juliet

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: respect.... - 9/23/2006 5:17:23 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Ok... I guess I can change this around a bit. I don't know that I "deserve" respect, since to "deserve" something, to me, means I've done something to earn it. And with every Tom, Dick and Harry out there, I'm not necessarily going to do anything that merits me thinking I "deserve" respect.

However, I do "expect" respect. It's an expectation I have for myself and for the decisions I make regarding who I associate with. If who I associate with can't figure out how to respect another human being, then I don't associate with that person.

So...whether I "deserve" it or not, I do "Expect" it. And because I presume (perhaps wrongly) that if I expect it, so will others, I give a modicum of respect from the get-go, and allow life to interpret whether it remains and grows, or withers and dies. That decision then becomes mutual.

juliet

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: respect - 9/23/2006 2:45:52 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I don't think I *deserve* anything, including respect.  If I get respect then that's rather wonderful......if I don't then there's little I can do about it or would want to do about it. I'm not sure where the *deserve* bit fits in.

agirl 


agirl:

I found your response interesting.

If you don't mind my asking....

Do you believe you have value?

If so, do you believe you should be appreciated for that value?



Yes, I believe I have worth. No, I don't believe that I *should* be appreciated for that.

It's nice to be appreciated, it's something that I value when I get it, which is very often. It's nice to be respected and I appreciate that too, when I am. It's nice to be loved too, by my children, grandchildren and my family.

They are wonderful things to have but it's not a matter of whether I deserve them.....I either get them or I don't.

It's not that I think little of myself at all......I can ensure that I value myself, that's under my control.....but it's not up to me whether others do.

I simply don;t think that any of those things are a *right* ......which is what *deserve* implies.

I hope that explains the way I think.

Regards, agirl

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: respect - 9/23/2006 3:44:32 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

 i think the level of respect we have for people or things tells us a lot about our own value systems and thinking processes. 


Exactly. 

Thats why, for me, the 'slave in particular being due respect' question,  doesn't even enter the thought process.

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: respect - 9/23/2006 3:47:20 PM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline 		We are only entitled to what others CHOOSE to grant us.

And once one learns that validation is not a given-your world view shifts into a much more realistic perspective.

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: respect - 9/23/2006 3:52:39 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I simply don;t think that any of those things are a *right* ......which is what *deserve* implies.

I hope that explains the way I think.

Regards, agirl



agirl,

Yes, now I gotcha. 

I wasnt interpreting the word deserve quite the same, but I understand completely what you're saying. 

At first it sounded like you didnt see yourself as being worthy, which isnt the same as seeing yourself as being  deserving.  I think I confused the two terms as being synonymous.

What you say makes perfect sense.  Thank you for explaining.

 

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: respect - 9/23/2006 4:34:46 PM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank01

We are only entitled to what others CHOOSE to grant us.

And once one learns that validation is not a given-your world view shifts into a much more realistic perspective.


that is your own opinion, and if you believe that, then I'm happy for you.... but in a very simple word, from my perspective...

BULLSHIT!
 
I don't want someone to grant me anything, nor do I want anyone to take me for granted.  I'll earn my respectability if that is what it takes, but here's the rub... I could give a shit whether you, or anyone reading this respects my opinion, or not.  I respect anyone and everyone else's opinions, even if I disagree strongly with them. 

I spoke of asking yourself the question, do I deserve... folks... everyone deserves respect, even the president of your respective country.  You may not like, nor respect the man, or woman leading the country, but you have to respect the job.  I know as much as I may talk smack about the US president, I also know I don't want the job... I'd fuck up this country more than he has....

CC


_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to Frank01)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: respect - 9/23/2006 5:33:19 PM   
Takethiswaltz


Posts: 199
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		A dominant cannot dominate without a submissive;  a submissive cannot submit without a dominant.  Quid pro quo.
Mutual respect would seem key.

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

~Leonard Cohen~

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: respect.... - 9/23/2006 6:27:45 PM   
buffiy


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline 		What a novel way of putting it!  Well said Dnomyar Sir!.....
Giving everyone respect until Tthey have shown it is not deserved is putting things in a more 'positive light' and one absolutely agrees ~smiles~
respectfully (oh yes),
buffy 

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: respect.... - 9/23/2006 6:29:36 PM   
OhReallyNow


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlemissub

Do submissives or slaves deserve it?  And if so, under what circumstances?

This slave does NOT DESERVE ANYTHING. She works very hard to get what she has; and that includes the respect of others. This slave has always been taught to be respectful; this was taught to her by her parents from a very young age; she was also taught that when respect is given, it will be returned. However, she also knows that it is only through actions and words that the respect that she has earned over the years remains steadfast.
 
but in no way does this slave DESERVE it from anyoone

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

(in reply to littlemissub)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: respect.... - 9/23/2006 7:29:36 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

to me respect is earned... be the person Dominant, submissive, or whatever.




Yes, but what if the person is wearing leather pants?  I mean....are they still able to garner respect from others?

< Message edited by marieToo -- 9/23/2006 7:30:22 PM >

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: respect.... - 9/23/2006 7:34:52 PM   
SirLordTrainer


Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline 		To Me, respect is always mutual until I find it is no longer warranted..

_____________________________

Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

(in reply to littlemissub)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: respect.... - 9/23/2006 9:33:54 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

Yes, but what if the person is wearing leather pants?  I mean....are they still able to garner respect from others?


Only if they fill out the pants ...

also... I don't mind if you don't respect me in the morning *w*

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: respect - 9/23/2006 10:55:46 PM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreoleCook

quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank01

We are only entitled to what others CHOOSE to grant us.

And once one learns that validation is not a given-your world view shifts into a much more realistic perspective.


that is your own opinion, and if you believe that, then I'm happy for you.... but in a very simple word, from my perspective...

BULLSHIT!
 
I don't want someone to grant me anything, nor do I want anyone to take me for granted.  I'll earn my respectability if that is what it takes, but here's the rub... I could give a shit whether you, or anyone reading this respects my opinion, or not.  I respect anyone and everyone else's opinions, even if I disagree strongly with them. 

I spoke of asking yourself the question, do I deserve... folks... everyone deserves respect, even the president of your respective country.  You may not like, nor respect the man, or woman leading the country, but you have to respect the job.  I know as much as I may talk smack about the US president, I also know I don't want the job... I'd fuck up this country more than he has....

CC



So let's see here. You don't need validation, but you will validate people you don't even know. And you'll talk shit about Bush- but still respect him.......I guess things are more black and white to me.

I only respect people I see some VALUE in- but then, I'm full of shit, right?

(in reply to CreoleCook)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: respect - 9/23/2006 11:00:07 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		I give respect to everyone it is a courtesy thingy,  if someone proves they do not deserve respect then all bets are off 

That is not to say I am overtly disrespectful, however I think courtesy and respect are lacking in society generally today so the kink world is somewhere I think we could all begin with and bring back the old fashioned values.

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to Frank01)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: respect - 9/23/2006 11:09:04 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I don't think I *deserve* anything, including respect.  If I get respect then that's rather wonderful......if I don't then there's little I can do about it or would want to do about it. I'm not sure where the *deserve* bit fits in.

agirl 


agirl:

I found your response interesting.

If you don't mind my asking....

Do you believe you have value?

If so, do you believe you should be appreciated for that value?



Yes, I believe I have worth. No, I don't believe that I *should* be appreciated for that.

It's nice to be appreciated, it's something that I value when I get it, which is very often. It's nice to be respected and I appreciate that too, when I am. It's nice to be loved too, by my children, grandchildren and my family.

They are wonderful things to have but it's not a matter of whether I deserve them.....I either get them or I don't.

It's not that I think little of myself at all......I can ensure that I value myself, that's under my control.....but it's not up to me whether others do.

I simply don;t think that any of those things are a *right* ......which is what *deserve* implies.

I hope that explains the way I think.

Regards, agirl


I like what you said here, agirl. Very well put.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: respect.... - 9/24/2006 1:16:58 PM   
BD123


Posts: 201
Joined: 8/12/2006
Status: offline 		Everyone deserves a certain level of respect, however the greatest amount of respect is earned by actions and deeds.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: respect.... - 9/24/2006 1:42:39 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

Yes, but what if the person is wearing leather pants?  I mean....are they still able to garner respect from others?


Only if they fill out the pants ...

also... I don't mind if you don't respect me in the morning *w*


::blushing::

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: respect - 9/24/2006 1:43:00 PM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank01

And you'll talk shit about Bush- but still respect him.......I guess things are more black and white to me.

I only respect people I see some VALUE in- but then, I'm full of shit, right?


Not trying to hijack the thread here, but to make my point more obvious to Frank here....   I don't respect Bush, but I respect the position of US President.  I don't like the man, nor do I like his decisions while being the president of the US.... however I know bush doesn't run the country.  Congress does.  Bush is just the stooge out front catching hell. 

_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to Frank01)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: respect - 9/24/2006 1:55:26 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I simply don;t think that any of those things are a *right* ......which is what *deserve* implies.

I hope that explains the way I think.

Regards, agirl



agirl,

Yes, now I gotcha. 

I wasnt interpreting the word deserve quite the same, but I understand completely what you're saying. 

At first it sounded like you didnt see yourself as being worthy, which isnt the same as seeing yourself as being  deserving.  I think I confused the two terms as being synonymous.

What you say makes perfect sense.  Thank you for explaining.

 


Hello marieToo,

You're welcome. I re-read what I wrote and it was certainly open to *interpretation*. It can be a little tricky sometimes.

With regards, agirl

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 60
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