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Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 9:41:17 AM

raiken

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline

Reading the other thread, i got to wondering. What does tribute actually mean to a Mistress? i see the mention of cash as in "paying" tribute (lol pun intended), i see lip service as another, etc. But i am curious... How does one define tribute with regards to this area? What does it, or how should it, look like to each of you? Thanks in advance.

Post #: 1

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 9:43:35 AM

demistress

Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline

Cash and gifts. I get all the lip service I want (usually about 20X more than I want) already.

I have a wish list of appropriate gifts on my website for me personally.

Mizz Spice
www.mizzspice.net

(in reply to raiken)

Post #: 2

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 9:51:15 AM

Frank01

Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline

I wish I could get away with that.

(in reply to demistress)

Post #: 3

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 9:55:07 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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http://www.collarchat.com/m_220366/mpage_1/key_tribute/tm.htm#220651
Mater-Mistress tribute

http://www.collarchat.com/m_434838/mpage_2/key_tributes/tm.htm#435293
tributes and gender

Reposted:
The gender stereotypes that we have in our world today still perpetuates the idea that the man should give direct financial support to the female. There are many female submissives who will not be with a male dominant who does not pay for them and their time together, though it is usually through food, travel and other expenses.

As well, male doms tend to prefer expressions of devotion in other ways. Instead of ordering the sub to give them money or gifts, they will order the sub to dress a certain way and expect sex afterwards. It's still having expectations of the other person- it's just one is less obviously monetarily related.

Adding:

Tribute to me is something I view as to Christians who tithe, or make animal sacrifices. It's saying "I am grateful for your presence and affect upon my life, and I sacrifice this part of my life as an expression of that."

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to raiken)

Post #: 4

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 9:56:48 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

If I was going to demand tribute, and was a Domina, It'd be something that showed you had listend to what I said when wed iscussed my likes, a book, a small token, maybe a 5 dollar gift certificate to my favorite book store, Or in the non money none buy me stuff department, maybe some flowers picked from his garden, if he had one, something they hand made.

(in reply to Frank01)

Post #: 5

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 9:59:00 AM

Frank01

Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline

But I agree that the tribute thing works as a filtering mechanism. I used to do chat rooms, and desperate male subs would even hit on ME. Thier seeking to use me as a fantasy facilltator was truly annoying, not fun at ALL. I'd finally get bored with them, and ask them what they needed me for-since they were doing so well directing the scene on thier own.

If asking for a few bucks chases THAT away-more power to ya.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 6

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 11:39:39 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Frank your in Antartica you should pay to get someone to go down there.

(in reply to Frank01)

Post #: 7

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 12:00:09 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: raiken

Reading the other thread, i got to wondering. What does tribute actually mean to a Mistress? i see the mention of cash as in "paying" tribute (lol pun intended), i see lip service as another, etc. But i am curious... How does one define tribute with regards to this area? What does it, or how should it, look like to each of you? Thanks in advance.

You know, I thought long and hard about answering this post. But given some of my own wonderings about the idea of paying tribute to a mistress, I thought I would chime in also. So, at the risk of offending a whoooooooooooooooole lot of people:

It's been stated on here before and again now that male dominants expect expressions of devotion in other ways than material ways...such as having the submissive dress to please the male dominant or to have sex with them afterwards. The first one strikes me as something a submissive would do AFTER she is involved to a certain extent with the dominant as it has been noted on here that no male dominant has the right to expect this initially. The second one...expecting it from a submissive that you've just met is again frowned upon...which I agree with. Expecting sex because you've bought someone drinks or dinner or even having paid for them to come see you doesn't get it in the world today. I was brought up that doing those things bought you the pleasure of their company and that was that.

A couple of questions here....have I not seen the question of dressing for a dominant or having sex with them discussed on here before and the general consensus is that this generally does not take place, nor should a male dominant expect to, at the request of the dominant on the first or second or whatever meeting until a "relationship" of some sort (generally involving trust and desire on the part of the submissive to begin submitting to the dominant) is felt to be in place, with negotiation? Yet, aren't many male submissives expected to come up with a tribute of some sort...with zero or minimal negotiation...fairly soon in the process of Mistress/submissive interaction, never mind a relationship, if they want the interaction to continue?

Hmmmmmmm, I can't help thinking of some of the female authors I've read who've noted how much more materialistic and goal-oriented men are than women, who tend to be much less concerned with the material things in life and are more concerned with the emotional and spiritual side.

(in reply to raiken)

Post #: 8

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 12:09:06 PM

UnvailedPurpose

Posts: 61
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Raiken: I view tribute a little different them most, a small gift significant only in its giving.
A respectful recognition of her as a woman embracing savoir-faire and savoir-vivre but the mindset surrounding my belief and conduct has nothing at all to do with D/s, in essence it’s a simple courtesy
I extend...mostly in the vanilla world.

(in reply to demistress)

Post #: 9

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 12:15:20 PM

demistress

Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline

Oh and perhaps I should qualify that I expect TRIBUTE only from clients with whom I have a business relationship. I expect much more intimate shows of affection and appreciation from my personal and household submissives.

(in reply to raiken)

Post #: 10

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 12:16:39 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
The first one strikes me as something a submissive would do AFTER she is involved to a certain extent with the dominant as it has been noted on here that no male dominant has the right to expect this initially. The second one...expecting it from a submissive that you've just met is again frowned upon...which I agree with. Expecting sex because you've bought someone drinks or dinner or even having paid for them to come see you doesn't get it in the world today. I was brought up that doing those things bought you the pleasure of their company and that was that.

While what you say is generally true- expectations on first date is often frowned upon, and it is archaic to expect sex in return for a visit.

That doesn't mean it doesn't happen- it does, often.

quote:

have I not seen the question of dressing for a dominant or having sex with them discussed on here before and the general consensus is that this generally does not take place, nor should a male dominant expect to, at the request of the dominant on the first or second or whatever meeting until a "relationship" of some sort (generally involving trust and desire on the part of the submissive to begin submitting to the dominant) is felt to be in place, with negotiation?

This is a case of self-selected bias and why you really can't go on forums to give a clear view of what happens in the real world. Most people say "Don't play on the first date" and yet you'll find almost everyone HAS done that at some point or another.

There's a difference between what people say they do, what people say is "right" to do, and what actually ends up happening.

quote:

Hmmmmmmm, I can't help thinking of some of the female authors I've read who've noted how much more materialistic and goal-oriented men are than women, who tend to be much less concerned with the material things in life and are more concerned with the emotional and spiritual side.

I dunno. I don't consider either gender to be more materialistic or goal-oriented than the other, I've simply said that their methods and preferences differ.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 11

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 12:21:27 PM

NastyDaddy

Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

You nailed it CD... it's flat out a double-standard to "expect" objectification role play up front... SANS any type of relationship, trust building, etc, ad nausium frequently posted by females (dom and sub alike) as the precursor to any role play whatsoever.

Soon to follow... the trumpet blowing train of fems touting the "beauty" of financial domination and "objectification", and of course how they gracefully fulfill the "need" of a sub by "allowing" the sub to pay per interaction... albeit being absolute and total strangers, LOL

"Wish" lists and "Gift" lists are mere premeditations of obvious intent to manipulate and "profit" from total strangers.... yet here will cometh the argument of "supply and demand" warrants piracy... lather it on ladies.... "explain" your exploitation of total strangers who do not know you but will soon know your expectations of immediate objectification.

_____________________________

"You may be right, I may be crazy... but I may just be the lunatic you're looking for!"

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 12

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 12:23:06 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

I don't know what tributes mean to mistresses as I find demanding a tribute/gift/praise, etc takes the gift idea out of it... Having said that, I find that many sub men are so socially awkward that the only way they get a clue on wooing a lady is by a direct command from her; so if some lady wants to sort through a multitude of wankers that way, more power to her.
My position is that if you are a generous human being, I will notice it in your words or deeds, and if not we will fizzle quickly, because cheapskates turn me on about as much as watching paint dry. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 9/22/2006 12:24:27 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to raiken)

Post #: 13

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 12:39:25 PM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

I owned a Dominatrix service. Without exception the women who worked
for me just cared about money. They had very little interest in personal
relationships, very little interest in sex, very little interest in anything. They
basically saw men as creatures to be used and to be taken advantage of.
Their hearts were as cold as ice, they were totally selfish and self-centered.
There is no amount of money anyone could give them that would satisfy
them. They looked at pepole solely in terms of what others could do for
them. They didn't like females, because they couldn't take advantage of
females the way they could take advantage of older men. A lot of them
had been abused as children, and taking money from men was their
form of revenge and retribution. They did not value anything anyone
had to offer except money. They did not value anyone's friendship,
anyone's companionship, or anything anyone did for them or then
give them money. Guys would give them cars, diamond rings, and
tens of thousands of dollars, and do anything they wanted. They
did not appreciate any of it. They considered the guys marks,
stupid fools and suckers, much the way carnis who run midway
scams view the public. Their goal was take as much as possible
giving the least back as possible. They got-off by taking
advantage of others. I felt sorry for the guys that got mixed
up with them. Even though, I owned the service, I gave the guys
fair warning that they were just interested in taking advantage
of them. I was on good terms with them.

< Message edited by WhipTheHip -- 9/22/2006 12:42:36 PM >

_____________________________

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 14

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 2:50:59 PM

jesskitty

Posts: 185
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline

don't know if this is hijacking the thread or not, tell me if it is and i'll edit it blank. i could somewhat, barely understand why you would give tribute to anyone if it was merely professional sense, but why would you give 'tributes' to people if your in a relationship. i'm sure some would say it's a gift but in a sense gift is more willingly giving it to a person that's not expecting it and out of you wanting to..and tribute i think is something that is more expected in my mind. so i don't see why it would come up in a relationship that wasn't busniess like .

(in reply to raiken)

Post #: 15

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 4:36:57 PM

demistress

Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyDaddy

....."Wish" lists and "Gift" lists are mere premeditations of obvious intent to manipulate and "profit" from total strangers.... yet here will cometh the argument of "supply and demand" warrants piracy... lather it on ladies.... "explain" your exploitation of total strangers who do not know you but will soon know your expectations of immediate objectification.

Example: 57 Year old man wants to have his ass raped by me, he does not wish to serve..... I read his email, look at his picture, peruse his profile, and find nothing appealing in it, I respond to him with two options. He may offer to become a client, or he may continue to seek elsewhere, MORE often then not, he is grateful to have the opportunity to play AT ALL. If I'm not enjoying what I'm doing, I consider that WORK, and if I'm working, then I feel it is entirely appropriate for me to get paid. Sorry if this doesn't line up with your personal perspective on the issue, but then again, I don't think there's anything wrong with prostitution, or any other exchange of goods and services for money.

(in reply to NastyDaddy)

Post #: 16

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 4:43:10 PM

Frank01

Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline

Hear hear!

You'd have to PAY me to play with some of the people on this site too! I mean..ICK!!!!!!

(in reply to demistress)

Post #: 17

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 4:43:25 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jesskitty
so i don't see why it would come up in a relationship that wasn't busniess like .

Jess- ask yourself this question:

Why do people give tribute to their gods?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to jesskitty)

Post #: 18

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 4:49:47 PM

Frank01

Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline

Or let's turn this around. Say there is a fem sub who has a really out there kink-she simply cannot find a Dominant Male who will do it-they are all squicked out-and think she is insane.

But she hears about a pro, someone well reccomended who will do it exactly as she desires, but for pay. It's all about her, this guy is offering a service. She finally gets to play out her fantasy-and a need is served in her. It would never have happened otherwise, and she would always have wondered.

As well, this guy is not going to gossip about it-that would be bad for business. Getting what she wanted will never return to her in a negative sense-tainting relationships down the line.

And she gets this for a couple hundred bucks-a bargain.

How is this a BAD thing?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 19

RE: Question on tribute - 9/22/2006 5:00:07 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

Tribute?

Cooking me dinner, bringing me a Guiness Stout, and following it with a blow job while I watch college football is enough tribute for me.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to raiken)

Post #: 20

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