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Politeness gone out of fashion? - 1/16/2005 4:42:55 AM   
MsSavra


Posts: 29
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline 		There is one thing I don't really understand - subs try to catch our attention, they send us long letters begging us to consider them. Yet, they often do not adhere to simple standards of politeness, such as a proper address or basic correctness of language. Do you seriously think "hi" or addressing a dominant LADY as "u" gives us a favourable impression of our prospective subs-to-be? Would you write that if you applied for an important job? Should we get less consideration and politeness (esp. when applying for a 24/7 position)? You want your future Mistress to have style and intelligence. You want her to be a lady. Then treat her as such and do not speak to her like to your old chum from school. And no, I do not mean to be a snivelling doormat, just common politeness.

Just my 2-Euro-cents,
MsSavra
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RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 1/16/2005 5:34:18 AM   
liljoy


Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline 		MsSavra,
The u thing really get's to me too. Is it really that much harder to type the other two letters? i agree that anyone looking for a relationship should put the same care into thier emails that they would on an application for a job. i personally don't think it makes a difference if the are Dominant or submissive if they are wanting to have a relationship with a person they should pay some attention to the impression they are giving. Even in the nilla world folks usually at least try to put thier best foot forth. One way You could look at it is an easy way to weed out those You don't desire. i mean if that is thier best foot do You really want to see the other?
LOL as i typed this i almost type Ya instead of You. Ya and prolly are my common ways of typing and even speaking. Maybe it's a southern thing or maybe i'm just to lazy to type and say them right. Nah it's a southern thing. That's my story and i'm sticking to it lol
lil_joy

(in reply to MsSavra)
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RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 1/16/2005 5:43:05 AM   
MsSavra


Posts: 29
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: liljoy

quote:

One way You could look at it is an easy way to weed out those You don't desire. i mean if that is thier best foot do You really want to see the other?


That's exactly what I do, actually.

Btw, the "i" hurts the eye.

Best wishes,
MsSavra

(in reply to liljoy)
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RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 1/16/2005 5:57:25 AM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline 		M.Savra-

While we have ground out quite a few threads concerning people's peeves about spelling, grammar, yours is the first to address the issue that often irks me most- format.

I am as guilty as any of occasionally omitting a salutation or closing here in the fora, and frankly don't think it imporant enough to make a one-liner post into a three liner. I am a bit put off by first time contacts who omit these things in private messages or email. they usually consist of a cryptic one line statement/question that requires some head-scratching on my part to understand context and be able to answer.

Paragraph breaks are nice, too. A twenty line post with no breaks is hard on the eyes, and I often simply skim over one, instead of reading it in full.

Thank you for taking the time to post, and welcome to the boards.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

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RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 1/16/2005 6:33:33 AM   
MsSavra


Posts: 29
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you for the friendly welcome, Lawrence. I appreciate your kind words and your opinion.

Best wishes,
Savra

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Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 1/16/2005 7:33:01 AM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		i personaly hate those littel wrongs in the luanguage. i know i write not correct myself, but that is becouse of luanguage barriars, not becouse i do not try. for example to write u instad of you or 4 instead for for, it is simply ugly. When the sentace, I found somthing that might be interesting for you, become i found somt that m b int 4 u, i simply drop of, it is hard to read and has no style.

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RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 1/16/2005 9:09:12 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

Do you seriously think "hi" or addressing a dominant LADY as "u" gives us a favourable impression of our prospective subs-to-be?

Like others I absolutely hate "u"; however "hi" is informal but there is nothing impolite about it. Apparently, you have a preference for formalities of address; I do not. Therefore what you call "simple standards of politeness" are not standards at all but merely what you like, and unless the submissives are mind readers they don't know thats what you expect. Though this may be inconceivable to you, I'd see a note starting with "hi" as starting off on the right foot because it matches my preference for informality.

It is interesting to note that it is routine here to mock the males who insist on being addressed as Sir from the first contacts before any relationship is established; I wonder if women are held to the same standard. I also wonder if this difference could be attributed to European vs non-Euro views. It may also be possible that you are so used to being able to use your "politeness filters" to weed out suitors from all of those who are groveling for your attention that you don't realize a submissive may testing you to see if your style matches what they are looking for.

Anyway, I don't know if you travel much, but if you visit California you'll find that people can be polite without being formal.

< Message edited by happypervert -- 1/16/2005 9:19:15 AM >

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RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 1/16/2005 9:46:57 AM   
MsSavra


Posts: 29
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline 		Well, happypervert, I agree with you, that while "hi" is not actually impolite it is rather informal. Also, I think I made my dislike of grovelling behaviour clear.

My idea of an appropriate address is the politeness I would expect to get if somebody applied to me for an important job or the kind of politeness I would get in a good restaurant (rather than the chip shop around the corner). Afterall, a sub does want to make a favourable impression when he writes to me, he wants my attention, or am I mistaken there? I still think, a sub wants to look up to a Lady whose favour he hopes to win. Then, shouldn't he treat her like the Lady she is? If the sub can't be respectful in his approach, if he talks to me like to his pals, what difference do I make in his life then? What role am I to play? I am not a partner, I am a Domme. I don't have boyfriends, I keep subs and slaves.

But of course, this is purely my personal point of view.

Best wishes,
MsSavra

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 1/16/2005 11:30:22 AM   
MissBenson


Posts: 22
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline 		MsSavra, let the church say AAAAAAMEN!! I don't think there is any WAY I could agree more, a distressing majority of of the responses to my profile have been -seemingly-
written by a pack of Jethros unable to spell( or,apparently, use spellcheck) unfamiliar w/ proper grammar or basic correct use of the English language, given to reciting interminable lists of what they define as " things I can do for you" and I experience as lists of inappropriately greedy DEMANDS and clear indications they have no emotional brakes to speak of. Oh, and then there are the proud possessors of piercingly BAD MANNERS, who remain wilfully unaware of the fact, not to mention male "subs" that are flat out sexist...
the boy who wrote lecturing and hectoring and demanding and becoming incandescent w/ rage at the gentlest correction comes to mind.
But what I find most frustrating overall are the folks who, apparently, don't know how to READ! If I make it abundantly clear I only want a LTR leading in a timely fashion to marriage how is it NOT spectacularly rude to write and bitch about it and essentially
demand that I change my needs and demands? if I write that I must get to know you as well as possible within the extraordinarily limited and OFF framework of the internet before anything remotely naughty is discussed do you think defying my proscriptions is NOT
rude and hostile and that it will INCLINE me to look on you with FAVOR? jesus that's nuts.
Thanks for the opportunity to bitch! Thse are MY Ameri/Euro 2/4/8??? cents

(in reply to liljoy)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 1/16/2005 1:36:45 PM   
Submikro


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Don't see the problem with "Hi" if its just a introductory note on a friendly level, that is, unless the Domme in question is seeking serious replys to Her personal. if i initiate the email, i try to sort out to proper tone of it first, but always try to keep it respectful.

The whole "u" thing or any sort of loss of vowels and consonants just portrays a lack of intelligence or laziness. i can kinda see the point off such abbreviation in a chat room since things can move quickly, but an email should have a little more thought put into it, as should a forum posting.

(in reply to MissBenson)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 1/16/2005 1:39:15 PM   
GoddessJules


Posts: 549
Status: offline
quote:

If the sub can't be respectful in his approach, if he talks to me like to his pals, what difference do I make in his life then? What role am I to play? I am not a partner, I am a Domme.


I agree 150% That is probably why I don't take too well to the "I-am-your-homie" approach. I'm sure there are Dominas out there that like that. . .I'm not one of them. Save the "hey" "what's up" stuff for your boys. . .I'm not one of them.

J

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RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 1/16/2005 2:26:12 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

You want your future Mistress to have style and intelligence. You want her to be a lady. Then treat her as such and do not speak to her like to your old chum from school.


Yes, this makes much sense to me. Addressing a person of special status requires special attention and effort.

If your Dominant isn't special, doesn't hold a unique place in your life, doesn't fulfill a core part of your being then I suppose that being casual is fine. But if this person is to be the Pole Star for your life then they should be treated as such.

Perhaps rampant casualness is an adverse side-effect of the internet, which has made commonplace what used to be rare.

< Message edited by onceburned -- 1/16/2005 2:37:42 PM >

(in reply to MsSavra)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 1/16/2005 2:28:47 PM   
RealityFix


Posts: 156
Joined: 8/12/2004
Status: offline 		I don't get people who type in abreviations, or take undue familiarities either.

It comes across as lazy and disrepectful. And shows a mindset that most people who ARE serious aren't going to want to be bothered with. But I also realize it's not for me to try and straighten them out for thier lack of social finesse.

So my tendency is to just delete mails like that, and block them. You don't get two tries to be an idiot in MY world.

(in reply to GoddessJules)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 1/16/2005 10:19:02 PM   
ShadowKnight


Posts: 40
Joined: 12/7/2004
From: Missoula, Montana
Status: offline 		The other thing that I find to be rude is when a slave/sub decides that they are going to treat Me as if I am one of their peers when answering a post to a thread.

just My two tarn bits,

ShadowKnight

_____________________________

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The collar is put on from without, but what it encircles comes from within. Slavery, true slavery, comes from within.

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RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 1/16/2005 10:34:55 PM   
LdyAuburn


Posts: 179
Joined: 5/9/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowKnight

The other thing that I find to be rude is when a slave/sub decides that they are going to treat Me as if I am one of their peers when answering a post to a thread.

just My two tarn bits,

ShadowKnight


Not quite sure why they wouldnt? If not a peer then what? I did notice you are talking about answering a thread, not replying to an approach for meeting or such.



< Message edited by LdyAuburn -- 1/16/2005 10:37:03 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 1/17/2005 8:50:37 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowKnight

The other thing that I find to be rude is when a slave/sub decides that they are going to treat Me as if I am one of their peers when answering a post to a thread.

Unless the respondent is your slave/sub, you are one of their peers. Welcome to the human race.

~stef

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 4:45:06 AM   
maledave7


Posts: 142
Joined: 8/4/2006
Status: offline 		When I write to a dominant woman, I always read her profile first. Sometimes the woman will say how and what name you can used to address her. I believe it is important to make a good impression in the first e-mail. It shows how much effort you are willing to put into a relationship.

(in reply to MsSavra)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 4:57:24 AM   
ennaozzie


Posts: 201
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline 		Everyone, does not matter who, unless they are rude to you deserves manners.

Beanie



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If coffee hurts your eye's take the spoon out of the mug

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 5:09:56 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowKnight

The other thing that I find to be rude is when a slave/sub decides that they are going to treat Me as if I am one of their peers when answering a post to a thread.

just My two tarn bits,

ShadowKnight

Hmmmm...its rude to respond to you( since i am a slave) as a peer when posting or answering a thread..... now thats just rich.....


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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 5:38:04 AM   
shyinini


Posts: 550
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSavra

There is one thing I don't really understand - subs try to catch our attention, they send us long letters begging us to consider them. Yet, they often do not adhere to simple standards of politeness, such as a proper address or basic correctness of language. Do you seriously think "hi" or addressing a dominant LADY as "u" gives us a favourable impression of our prospective subs-to-be? Would you write that if you applied for an important job? Should we get less consideration and politeness (esp. when applying for a 24/7 position)? You want your future Mistress to have style and intelligence. You want her to be a lady. Then treat her as such and do not speak to her like to your old chum from school. And no, I do not mean to be a snivelling doormat, just common politeness.

Just my 2-Euro-cents,
MsSavra


If you do a search on this concern / issue in the archives...many peeps here say its the fuckin internet no one needs to be polite or curtesy......
ITS HORRIBLY SAD IMHO

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.


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