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RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 6:36:38 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

i suppose i laugh....i strive to be polite and courteous and use correct grammar and spelling. (well except for the capitolization thing, but i've nerve damage due to a ill-set broken wrist some years back.)

Sir, however, uses shortcuts (such as u for you, r for are, things like that) and normally that would have turned me off him completely from the first... but i got to know him. obviously we each found something worth pursuing in the other.

kitten, who still counts herself fortunate.

(in reply to shyinini)

Post #: 21

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 7:22:49 AM

PeggyO

Posts: 129
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowKnight

The other thing that I find to be rude is when a slave/sub decides that they are going to treat Me as if I am one of their peers when answering a post to a thread.

just My two tarn bits,

ShadowKnight

Hello,

Here's a quick reality check on consent. Unless a submissive or slave has agreed to submit to *you* or to put themselves in an inferior social position to *you*, they are your peer. There was never an agreement by them that in becoming a submissive or a slave, that they are suddenly second class citizens and that any yahoo who's decided they are a dominant suddenly has a superior social position to theirs and suddenly merits some sort of deference.

The only exception to that is Gor, where being a slave comes with an inferior social position automatically attached. There is a Gorean forum. If you expect to not be treated as a peer by submissives/slaves, I would suggest that you stick to that forum.

Otherwise the basic rules of consent apply. They are your peers until they agree otherwise. It is rude of you to expect them to be anything other than that, since at that point you are expecting them to be submissive to you without obtaining their consent first.

Be well,

Peggy O

(in reply to ShadowKnight)

Post #: 22

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 7:36:37 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSavra

There is one thing I don't really understand - subs try to catch our attention, they send us long letters begging us to consider them. Yet, they often do not adhere to simple standards of politeness, such as a proper address or basic correctness of language. Do you seriously think "hi" or addressing a dominant LADY as "u" gives us a favourable impression of our prospective subs-to-be? Would you write that if you applied for an important job? Should we get less consideration and politeness (esp. when applying for a 24/7 position)? You want your future Mistress to have style and intelligence. You want her to be a lady. Then treat her as such and do not speak to her like to your old chum from school. And no, I do not mean to be a snivelling doormat, just common politeness.

Just my 2-Euro-cents,
MsSavra

Tell you what. When you get the rest your fellow dominants to be polite and well-spoken when e-mailing submissives who are strangers to them, I'll help teach my fellow submissives.

Edited: Not a flame - just a point.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 5/26/2007 7:44:04 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MsSavra)

Post #: 23

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 7:38:39 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowKnight

The other thing that I find to be rude is when a slave/sub decides that they are going to treat Me as if I am one of their peers when answering a post to a thread.

Unless the respondent is your slave/sub, you are one of their peers. Welcome to the human race.

~stef

Seconded. There are very few on these forums who I will defer to, and you ain't one of 'em, Shadow. Those who I do, earned my respect over my time.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 24

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 10:16:07 AM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSavra

There is one thing I don't really understand - subs try to catch our attention, they send us long letters begging us to consider them. Yet, they often do not adhere to simple standards of politeness, such as a proper address or basic correctness of language. Do you seriously think "hi" or addressing a dominant LADY as "u" gives us a favourable impression of our prospective subs-to-be? Would you write that if you applied for an important job? Should we get less consideration and politeness (esp. when applying for a 24/7 position)? You want your future Mistress to have style and intelligence. You want her to be a lady. Then treat her as such and do not speak to her like to your old chum from school. And no, I do not mean to be a snivelling doormat, just common politeness.

Just my 2-Euro-cents,
MsSavra

Politeness in general does seem to have declinded. i was raised to offer my seat on a train or bus to a woman, if she was standing. Womens lib put paid to that as i used to get accussed of being sexist ( huh ? ) Worse yet i often get sworn at.
Text speak seems to be the way of the future, the blame lies with laziness more than people being rude. i fully agree that an email to anyone should strive to be well written, at least to the best of ones ability. People often forget not everyone was lucky enough to get a good education though.

(in reply to MsSavra)

Post #: 25

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 10:38:07 AM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowKnight

The other thing that I find to be rude is when a slave/sub decides that they are going to treat Me as if I am one of their peers when answering a post to a thread.

Unless the respondent is your slave/sub, you are one of their peers. Welcome to the human race.

~stef

Seconded. There are very few on these forums who I will defer to, and you ain't one of 'em, Shadow. Those who I do, earned my respect over my time.

ShadowKnight.....With respect, the use of the word tarn indicates you are Gorean, in which case Your stance is understandable. Each and everytime i reply to i post, i am polite and respect that the person who i am replying to is Dominant. My Mistress taught me that how i reply to people reflects on Her. However, if someone posts on a board they are first and foremost other board users. Just like myself.
Respectfullness and having respect for someone are two different things in my opinon. The first is given from courtesy and the later is earned.
Just my opinion and no disrespect intended.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 26

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 10:50:40 AM

goodpet

Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowKnight

The other thing that I find to be rude is when a slave/sub decides that they are going to treat Me as if I am one of their peers when answering a post to a thread.

just My two tarn bits,
ShadowKnight

Hate to burst your ego bubble but you ARE my peer. We are both adults and writing on an online chat board.. You deserve no more respect or consideration then any other person on here..

Only after you have earned some respect will I, or most folks, give you any special consideration in address.

There are a few Doms on these theads that I use "Sir" or "Ma'am" with, only because after reading many posts and a few exchanges, they have proven themself to be worthy of the title.

Lady Hugs, Simply Michael both come to mind.. there are others of course..

(in reply to ShadowKnight)

Post #: 27

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 11:11:39 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

I view "text speak" as just laziness.

HIM: what do u look 4 in a man?

ME: Someone that thinks I'm worth the extra 5 seconds to type out his words.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to goodpet)

Post #: 28

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 11:14:21 AM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

I connect text speak to teenagers.

OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!1111ONEoneoen
LoLz u hawt SeXX0rz
and so forth...

I find it somewhat immature and definately not intriguing.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 29

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 11:16:43 AM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

Has anyone noticed that the OP and ShadowKnight's response were written 2.5 years ago?

Just wondering.....

(in reply to goodpet)

Post #: 30

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 11:22:35 AM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline

One thing that kinda disturbs me in the earlier posts of this thread is the connection made between a submissive approaching a Dom and applying for a job.

Really? You want Your sub to bring that kind of mentality to a relationship? I know for me, my job is something I endure so that I can get money. There's no sense of loyalty or motivation beyond "Am I getting paid?" I don't care about my employer in a personal sense. I couldn't submit to somebody I had that kind of relationship with.

_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to goodpet)

Post #: 31

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 11:30:58 AM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

Has anyone noticed that the OP and ShadowKnight's response were written 2.5 years ago?

Just wondering.....

Hmm... good point. Didn't notice that. However the topic is timeless in it self.

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 32

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 11:58:22 AM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

Has anyone noticed that the OP and ShadowKnight's response were written 2.5 years ago?

Just wondering.....

Errrrr i was trying to think what to say.......

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 33

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 12:03:15 PM

LadyDominaX

Posts: 173
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I view "text speak" as just laziness.

HIM: what do u look 4 in a man?

ME: Someone that thinks I'm worth the extra 5 seconds to type out his words.

A round of applause for that!

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 34

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 12:10:08 PM

LadyDominaX

Posts: 173
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shyinini

If you do a search on this concern / issue in the archives...many peeps here say its the fuckin internet no one needs to be polite or curtesy......
ITS HORRIBLY SAD IMHO

That is the point of view that distresses me the most. The Internet -- it is an international forum, the largest potential audience one's words may ever have. To me, that is a reason to use one's best skills with the language, not an excuse to slack off!

(in reply to shyinini)

Post #: 35

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 12:51:49 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

One thing that kinda disturbs me in the earlier posts of this thread is the connection made between a submissive approaching a Dom and applying for a job.

Really? You want Your sub to bring that kind of mentality to a relationship?

Kind of, yes. I mean afterall, it is an interview process. Why do you think that someone wouldn't want to know what you bring to the table?

Beyond, that some are not interested in a romantic relationship. Some people come in search of service contracts. So, if I'm a Domme in search of a house boy under contract for the next 90 days, it certainly would be more like a business arrangement.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to aidan)

Post #: 36

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 1:22:59 PM

welshwmn3

Posts: 126
Joined: 3/14/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSavra

Well, happypervert, I agree with you, that while "hi" is not actually impolite it is rather informal. Also, I think I made my dislike of grovelling behaviour clear.

My idea of an appropriate address is the politeness I would expect to get if somebody applied to me for an important job or the kind of politeness I would get in a good restaurant (rather than the chip shop around the corner). Afterall, a sub does want to make a favourable impression when he writes to me, he wants my attention, or am I mistaken there? I still think, a sub wants to look up to a Lady whose favour he hopes to win. Then, shouldn't he treat her like the Lady she is? If the sub can't be respectful in his approach, if he talks to me like to his pals, what difference do I make in his life then? What role am I to play? I am not a partner, I am a Domme. I don't have boyfriends, I keep subs and slaves.

But of course, this is purely my personal point of view.

Best wishes,
MsSavra

So, why don't you put that in your profile? That won't stop all people from just starting an email "Hi". However, if you put in your profile that people who do not make an initial contact with you as if they were applying for a job will not get a response from you, it would help to weed out those who could at least read and follow directions.

Just a thought.

(in reply to MsSavra)

Post #: 37

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 1:29:26 PM

welshwmn3

Posts: 126
Joined: 3/14/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowKnight

The other thing that I find to be rude is when a slave/sub decides that they are going to treat Me as if I am one of their peers when answering a post to a thread.

just My two tarn bits,

ShadowKnight

JMO (and that of both my Doms), but unless you are one of my Dominants, you are my peer.

I don't know you, and don't submit to every person who calls him or herself Dominant. Niether of my Doms wants me to submit to anybody but them. And if I ever want to submit to anybody else but my Doms, I have to get both of their permission first. I know for a fact I will NOT get that permission from either of them to submit to everybody on a general message board.

In fact, if I asked, they'd both talk about sending me for a psychological evaluation because they'd know I've taken leave of my senses!

(in reply to ShadowKnight)

Post #: 38

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 1:46:26 PM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

Actually, I was recently confronted with a reversal of this problem that I found unexpected (I'm not quite sure why I didn't expect it, other than the fact that I broke my normal rule regarding expecting the worst of other people) in that I was accused of not possibly being a "Twue" dominant because I am polite, and do attempt to construct whole sentences rife with not only intact words, but words that go past the three hundred or so relied on by Reader's Digest and publications of a similar scope.

Perhaps polite behavior has become unfashionable. On the other hand, I am a multi-generational nerdling, and thus have never had any use for being fashionable, so I think I will keep my manners intact for the time being.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to MsSavra)

Post #: 39

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/26/2007 2:38:24 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSavra

There is one thing I don't really understand - subs try to catch our attention, they send us long letters begging us to consider them. Yet, they often do not adhere to simple standards of politeness, such as a proper address or basic correctness of language. Do you seriously think "hi" or addressing a dominant LADY as "u" gives us a favourable impression of our prospective subs-to-be? Would you write that if you applied for an important job? Should we get less consideration and politeness (esp. when applying for a 24/7 position)? You want your future Mistress to have style and intelligence. You want her to be a lady. Then treat her as such and do not speak to her like to your old chum from school. And no, I do not mean to be a snivelling doormat, just common politeness.

Just my 2-Euro-cents,
MsSavra

Bravo. Couldn't have said it better myself.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to MsSavra)

Post #: 40

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