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RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/27/2007 12:54:03 AM

nonu

Posts: 139
Joined: 8/31/2005
From: Cochin, India
Status: offline

Like in any other form of electronic communication, the first impression 'can' be the last in such cases.

What could be more inappropriate for a submissive to do, than to create a negative impression of himself to his prospective Domme, in the very first means of communication!

A time-tested method for all submissives:
1. Type out what you need to convey.
2. Check it for mistakes, repetitions or vague references.
3. Read it again to ensure that it is indeed what you wished to convey, and that it has been written in the way you would like Her to read it.
4. Hit the 'send' button!

(Also, be very sure to read through Her profile thoroughly before sending a message, for She may have specified there, how She would like to be addressed).

Politeness is not only very much in fashion, but also one of the most basic qualities of a good submissive.

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We're all different....until we realise that we're all the same, and vice versa...

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Post #: 41

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/27/2007 4:39:08 AM

openmindedslave

Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

Politeness is something that I am sure is not the thought that comes to mind when writing a letter or email to contact someone on here.But I will suggest that respect and intelligence will certainly give you a knotch up on talking to a potential Mistress or Dom

For example, correct me if I am wrong but do you think writing to a Superior with one sentence emails will get you very far?
"I beg to serve you"
"Your hot"
"I love those boots"
"I am a sissy"
Hey, I am off tomorrow"
"so what would you do to my ass"
"I want to serve a strong black woman"
Here's a nude picture of my junk you didn't ask for from a stranger you never met.

Politeness starts from the begining ...One liners from people they don't know, will get you ignored instantly or worest yet , if you try to clean your act up, they might remember you from the earlier one liners. And while this is focused on first contacts, always remember that there are fewer doms than subs here. They are very importain to those who desire to live and breath what they can't do at home. I will only say that you will find more emails coming back if you come off as interesting and distinctive , than the image of the loser at the bar throwing out one liners and woundering why he always ends up leaving at the end of the night alone

(in reply to nonu)

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Post #: 42

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/27/2007 7:47:40 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave
For example, correct me if I am wrong but do you think writing to a Superior with one sentence emails will get you very far?

I wouldn't know. I write to people, not Superiors, but people seem to like it when you put some thought into your letters.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to openmindedslave)

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Post #: 43

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/27/2007 8:26:45 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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Fast Reply to the old OP

Here is the thing, if someone is not your cuppa because they write in an informal way, move on, they were not the submissive for you. I think it is rather amusing when people hold others to their standard in such a way that if a person does not communicate to their "standards" of discourse they are all of the sudden dismissed as impolite.

I suppose it is a pet peeve of mine, those who have a false superiority complex based upon their command of language. Instead of feeling blessed for their capacity to communicate with the written word, grateful that they do not have any learning disabilities, appreciative of their rearing and education... they would rather slam those who did not have these advantages.

I write rather informally when emailing, posting on internet message boards, but when it comes to formal academic writing, I am rather talented. I am GRATEFUL for this skill. I do not think it makes me more than others. I certainly am not dismissive of people as rude because they do not communicate as I do... if I did it would make me a shitty anthropologist, because I plan on spending significant amounts of time with people that are even (get this) illiterate.. but I must think they have something useful to teach me if I am going to go so far out of my way to get to know them...

I know that my Daddy would not have pursued a submissive that wrote in shorthand extensively, but for entirely different reasons than the ones that were stated in the OP. It is one thing to want someone that has similiar education and cultural attributes as you (which is reflected in how they write), but it is quite another to be insulting to those who do not come up to a perceived position of "superiority" that seems to be reflected in the OP.

Seriously I wonder about the things that some people believe make them superior.... intellect and writing ability does not make a superior person... having a heart, soul, and kindness certainly do.... and I would rather have an informal dominant than a prig any day.

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Post #: 44

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/27/2007 8:29:16 AM

EvaLass

Posts: 83
Joined: 5/4/2007
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quote:

But what I find most frustrating overall are the folks who, apparently, don't know how to READ! If I make it abundantly clear I only want a LTR leading in a timely fashion to marriage how is it NOT spectacularly rude to write and bitch about it and essentially
demand that I change my needs and demands?

This is a great comment. It applies to the situation of both submissives and Dominants.

If a Dom with whom I am acquainted personally really wants to be addressed as "Sir," then I often comply. If it makes him happy, then why not?

However, as someone observed, communication is a manner of personal style, and being yourself is a good test for finding out some basics about potential compatibility.

On the other side of this, I dislike Doms that send one sentence emails that say "Let's you and I talk." You check their profile and it is two sentences. You ask for additional information and they send you a couple of words. I actually take the time to respond carefully and in considerable detail to requests that seem legitimate, but it requires information sharing to complete this task properly.

(in reply to MissBenson)

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Post #: 45

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/27/2007 9:50:55 AM

openmindedslave

Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

I gather my comment I was trying to make focused more of first contacts.So often ( and of course reading a profile and journal entries will help here) many people on bothsides will write that they want something more than just a one liner that could pertain to anyone. Respect or politeness or some form of respect to another just seems like a valuable property out here...
Just one persons view...

(in reply to EvaLass)

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Post #: 46

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/27/2007 4:17:25 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EvaLass

On the other side of this, I dislike Doms that send one sentence emails that say "Let's you and I talk." You check their profile and it is two sentences. You ask for additional information and they send you a couple of words. I actually take the time to respond carefully and in considerable detail to requests that seem legitimate, but it requires information sharing to complete this task properly.

my standard response to such messages is to quote what they've said, and simply ask "and what would you wish to discuss?"

somehow, i very rarely get a second message....

kitten, who laughs about such messages with her Sir

(in reply to EvaLass)

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Post #: 47

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/27/2007 10:29:43 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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if we're going to discuss politeness on the internet i am going to bring up typing in all caps...for the past 13 years i have been on the internet, typing in all caps indicates shouting...and if you're going to shout at me, you don't get an ounce of my attention and if its a post i skip it, and the ocassional all capped word makes ya sound like the idiotic teacher/principal? from the show Daria...the one that was constantly bursting a vein in his eye...and that just makes me giggle and dismiss your post...i try not to judge a book by its cover but when the book doesn't ever open, what else do i have to go by...

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Post #: 48

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/28/2007 3:33:36 AM

Einzelganger

Posts: 221
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Orlando, FL
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I agree that it's not really polite to speak to people (or rather, type to them) and use the 'u, r, 4, etc.' abbreviations...if you can call them that. However, I'm not really sure it's intended that way. In my opinion, it has more to do with one or more of the following: the general disregard for the English language and proper grammar, lack of concern for the reader, and/or the writer simply doesn't care as much as they're trying to tell you.

Whenever a woman truly impresses me and I temporarily overcome my shyness enough to send her a message (rare indeed), I make for damned sure it's properly written, if not worth reading. Just my $0.02.

-Einzelgänger

(in reply to MsSavra)

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Post #: 49

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? - 5/29/2007 6:13:38 PM

stella40

Posts: 417
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: London, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSavra

subs try to catch our attention, they send us long letters begging us to consider them.

I'm a submissive. If I make first contact with a Dominant be sure I've read their profile very thoroughly, including all journal entries and interests and I'm doing much more than 'trying to catch their attention'. I also don't send begging letters. In fact if I were a Dominant (and I speak for myself here) I would be very suspicious of any sub who did send me a begging letter. I would also find it offensive - it would imply submission which I hadn't chosen or claimed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSavra

Yet, they often do not adhere to simple standards of politeness, such as a proper address or basic correctness of language.

I agree with this 150%. But it affects everyone. First contact with anyone requires IMHO the appropriate form of address and proper manners, with proper language - irrespective of who they are. You are who you present yourself to be in words. Personally I use 'hello', correct English language structure, spelling and words which all can be found in any standard English language dictionary. I prefer not to play Scrabble with people I communicate with via the Internet.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSavra

Do you seriously think "hi" or addressing a dominant LADY as "u" gives us a favourable impression of our prospective subs-to-be?

I would agree that it doesn't. But I don't think 'hi' or 'u' is appropriate in any first contact situation.

Writing 'u' in any situation is an abuse of the English language. Unlike the French 'vous' and 'tu' or the German 'Sie' or 'du' English has only one 'you' for both formal and informal.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSavra

Would you write that if you applied for an important job?

No, but most people are looking for either friendship or an interpersonal relationship. It's not quite the same relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSavra
Should we get less consideration and politeness (esp. when applying for a 24/7 position)? You want your future Mistress to have style and intelligence. You want her to be a lady. Then treat her as such and do not speak to her like to your old chum from school. And no, I do not mean to be a snivelling doormat, just common politeness.

An excellent point which many people would do well to print out, cut down to size and paste somewhere near their monitors.

'It's the Internet' isn't an excuse. If you have the intelligence to switch on a computer, wait for your operating system to start up, find and click on an icon to start your Internet browser and navigate yourself through the Internet by using a mouse and keyboard (with anything up to 105 keys) it is assumed that you are also intelligent enough not just to do something intelligent with your time spent on the computer but also to communicate in a specific language in the manner of an intelligent human being.

Is it really too much to expect?

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If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

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Post #: 50