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Age - 9/28/2006 2:59:49 AM   
nycboyy


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/24/2005
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Last year I turned 35. It was a big number for me.  I felt old. Strange that after turning 36 I seemed to have gotten over it. I find it interesting how many profiles have age limits. I think part of my 35 year old depression was reading profile after profile from attractive women with "NO MEN OVER 35". It seemed that 35 was some magical cut off date.I have been told I look younger than my age,but that may just be people being polite.I certainly embrace youth and youthful pursuits. I have also come by many profiles stating no one "UNDER 40".  Seems I just can't win.     I understand people wanting to connect with peers from their age groups etc etc. Im also almost postive that many young and attractive women get bombarded with mail from suitors 70 and up(and that IS old). I guess I just wanted to say that age CAN certainly be a factor.But weve certainly met younger people that are very mature and wise,as well as older people that never really grew up. I also understand that age can certainly be an problem when one may have parental issues etc etc. <br> I guess what I'd like to see is a little moderation.it's hard enough to meet someone you have a connection with even before adding BDSM into the mix. Have you ever known someone with a HUGE laundry list of requirements." Must be between 22-24,  Shoulder length dark brown or black hair,  not blond or red.Leo,Libra or Scorpio, over 6ft 2 inches tall,but not weighing more than 200 lbs,must make over $317,000 every year and fluent in Farsi. I need someone with every other Wednesday off etc etc etc"   Then these people wonder why they can't meet someone. While I don't believe in settling too much, I say the braoder your net...the more fish you will catch.  Thanks for reading  Warmest Wishes
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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 4:24:16 AM   
MasterC46910


Posts: 108
Joined: 4/17/2006
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30 was my big drama of aging.  We all go though it at some point in our life.  It took me about three months to get over it and start enjoying life again.  I passed 50 without a even a bump, but that is the age when most others seemed to have a problem with it. 

I have never been one to worry about age, even when I was much younger.  It was more important that I enjoy being with someone that I am with.  Most people seem to take age as a important parameter for picking a partner.  A few will not worry about it.  Stay with the few and don't worry about the masses that follow the norm.

Just to give you a little hope about your age, I am 58 and talking to two young ladies of 22 and 24 that are interested in a possible long term relationship with me.  Both bright, funny and kinky young ladies within a short drive of me.  So it is not your age as much as your belief in yourself and how you approach life.  Don't worry about your age and let those that fear aging partners miss the joys of experience and knowledge.

< Message edited by MasterC46910 -- 9/28/2006 4:25:19 AM >

(in reply to nycboyy)
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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 4:42:04 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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40 was a big number for me, I felt old until one day I thought about the alternative. Aging is preferable to being dead lol. The wisdom that comes with age (at least for me) I wouldn't trade for those youthful years. Although somedays my aching back makes me wonder.
Yes alot of the younger men (and women) don't check me out anymore but thats ok. I'm content with the one that I have, although it doesn't hurt to look at the eye candy occasionally.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to MasterC46910)
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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 5:00:31 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
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Like MasterC says age isnt a problem unless you let it be.  Im 62 and have no problem with women of any age. A lot has to do with your attitude and personality. Quit worrying you have a lot of life to live yet.  

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 5:05:57 AM   
Silvermoon


Posts: 156
Joined: 11/24/2004
Status: offline
Not being one for big age limits in a relationship, over all. (Meaning while I have a preference it doesn't mean I turn away or close my eyes to anyone) I find an interesting line in the sand for women as well. Usually based on her personality role. In the venues I'm experienced in it seems that submissive women must be young and inexperienced but dominant women must be older and experienced. So in one case (submissive) you find yourself with only a few years 'grace' between young and new and old and experienced. And as a dominant women (if you gain respect at all) you must 'age gracefully' to be considered attractive to suitors.

I suppose that goes along with my MAJOR pet peeve question. "How long have you been in this lifestyle?". There's a pointless question if I've heard one. Some folks will say 5 years and attend perhaps one or two venues, maybe read a couple of books, and have little interaction. While some may say five years, attend every demo and venue they find will help continue their exploration, devote themselves to learning and surround themselves with friends of similiar mind set.

Luckily, not all think in such ways *s*

And from one young lady, gentlemen, some of us adore a mature partner.

Sincerely
Silver.


_____________________________

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"In Manus Tuas Commendo Spiritum Moum"-Into Your Hands I Entrust My Spirit

"A man's word is his honor, his honor is his worth; Therefore a man who can not keep his word, is worthless"-Self Quote

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 5:06:05 AM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline
yup. 40 was a big one for me as a women since when I was growing up, I got the message that 40 for a women made her invisible and thereby done. It was all over. But strangely enough 43 -45 was when I really went thru some big mental changes that made 40 seem like a breeze.

It all depends on where you stand in life, as to how others look, to you. I did catering for a senior group and they were calling me young lady. So sure. To them I look young. 35 would look young to me. But where I 20, 35 would look old.

Some writer once wrote, "old age is 15 years older than I am". Which Ive never forgotten. But Ive also noticed that as I get older, older people dont look as old to me! Now I can see them as people and not as "Old" people. And I am glad for that.

 The other side of the coin is that now in some ways, Im less tolernat of younger people in their 20's. I guess Ive started to see them as my children, since my children are in their ealry 20's.

Its all a learning experience. Thats what its all about in many ways. What we learn and how we use it to our best advantage in a positive way.

I'm 47 and have a 38 year old boyfriend. We both seem well suited to one another even tho theres 8 1/2 years difference in our age. So like you, we think and act young. But seniors think and act young too from my experience. Its the body that slows you down, not your soul.


(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 5:13:27 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline
My own age never bothers me. I'm always pleased to see another birthday, having had a time when I wondered if I would. In terms of a partners age.... well I do have a few limits. I am approached by very young men sometimes, 18-24 and I just can't handle it. I have kids of my own in that age range and it just seems.....icky. As far as older men are concerned I prefer to stay within about 10 years. I don't want to be sought out by someone just because I'm younger. That pisses me off. What about all the nice women in his age range?

(in reply to Silvermoon)
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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 5:45:00 AM   
zenfull2


Posts: 62
Joined: 12/4/2005
Status: offline
I usually do not look at age, to me it is just a number.. someones personality and experience is what attracts me or turns me off. Though I do tend to look at those under the age of 21 as people I cannot go and enjoy a lot of the things I enjoy doing. Heck even my own local scene has an age limit for any of its play parties of twenty-one. I remember what it was like being eighteen and unable to go to the local private public play parties.. only able to attend the truly private ones and it was very frustrating for me. However I have never overlooked someone because they are eighteen. Luckily I am at an age where people dont view me as old though even now at twenty-five I am still seen as too young- until someone takes the chance to get to know me. I look a lot younger than I am, though if you sit down with me and speak with me, its a good chance if you thought I was young to begin with your opinion would change.


_____________________________

"I aim to misbehave!" -Serenity

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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 5:46:00 AM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline
<laffs> 35 is actually my LOWER age limit...Younger than that .. I dunno.. I have a hard time wrapping my brain around it.

(in reply to TNstepsout)
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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 7:24:12 AM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline
My only age limit is they have to be over 21. Thats because its the general age limit on play parties and the like. In the other direction, I actually prefer men who are older, in the 30-40 age range, although I can and have played with men up to 55. I tend to enjoy the maturity that comes with age, especially when somone has learned to balance their maturity with light heartedness.
I may be one of the "younger" crowd, but I have made a promise to myself that I will never be one of those women who desperately try to hide the fact that they are aging. I will wear my grey hairs and wrinkles with the pride of having earned them.
Age ain't nothing but a number as they say, and I feel men and women of ALL ages can have bright, shining spirits. And that is what's truly important.

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 8:01:32 AM   
jesskitty


Posts: 185
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline
well in one sense age limits are silly..but in my situation i've gotten a huge amount of men in their 60's up trying to hit on me..and personally i don't know about you but there is a limit to where there is a dating age difference and just being creepy. so i put a limit down because i've been contacted by various ages on various sites.

i forgot to mention the oldest guy that thought that hitting on me on one of these sites is cute is 87..so i hope you see in some instances there's a need to set a limit.


< Message edited by jesskitty -- 9/28/2006 8:02:54 AM >

(in reply to nycboyy)
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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 8:09:38 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline
I try not to put an age limit when meeting new people ......trying to keep an open heart and mind....I turned 34 in September and that hit me hard, heading close to 40...Personally, I perfer meeting people between 38-48 because for some reason I seem to be on a better level with them but age is only a number..so...

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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 8:13:36 AM   
Liannan


Posts: 14
Joined: 9/25/2006
From: PA
Status: offline
Since I’m 40 and right in the middle age-wise, it would be hypocritical for me to have a strong age preference in my partners.  On the other hand, I don’t think I could deal with a partner long-term who was not in general good health.  Do exercise on a regular basis and eat healthy foods?  If not, my house would be a strong shock.    If they are very young, do they at least act more maturely than my daughter does?  She is 20 and moved out and as much as I loved her, I don’t want a sub that still thinks scrambled eggs and toast are okay for three meals a day or that teasing the dog with a piece of meat that you are not going to give her is a good idea.  I’ve noticed that often younger members of the lifestyle who are the oldest of their siblings are more mature than only children so that could play a part on maturity level.       I’ve met local 50 year old men that seem less mature than some 22 year-olds so it’s more about talking to them and making a judgment call though if their BMI is higher than 28 or 29, no matter what their chronological age was I would want a note from their doc proclaiming them “healthy enough to participate in a strenuous exercise/diet regime” because there is very little in the way of “bad for you” foods here and I don’t intend to start allowing them nor do I want a sub that I have to leave at hoe because they can’t manage to walk the dog or become rapidly out of breath on the hiking trail.  I suspect that moving in here has much the same effect as one of those diet and exercise camps.  It’s not that extreme but there is no room of slow and a little lazy either. 

_____________________________

Lia
Searching for a sub who will fit well into my odd little family...

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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 8:15:33 AM   
CuriouslyKat


Posts: 118
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Kansas
Status: offline
*fast reply*

I prefer men under 40, but will consider someone up to 45 years old.  My Dad is only 51 years old and dating someone close or over that age is kinda squicky to me now.

Kat





_____________________________

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Sia "Breathe Me"

(in reply to jesskitty)
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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 8:16:28 AM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline
I set my profile age at the max, to weed these types out.

(in reply to nycboyy)
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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 8:32:07 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
I try to look at the person, not the age. This is why I've had subs/slaves that range from 19 to 54.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to nycboyy)
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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 8:34:52 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline
age does not promise maturity..i have found that out first hand..I have met men who were in their 20s far more mature then men in their 50s and beyond....every person is different.

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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 8:38:48 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline
I have found that people on the internet give more significance to age than people in real life. The whole laundry list approach is something that has stopped me taking finding someone on the internet seriously because it filters out so many potential partners. The age of 50 means I am on so many people's 'no' list while in real life that 'no' list is so much smaller. The last two women I have dated and are still good friends are early thirties and mid-thirties, an age where most women on the internet wouldn't consider someone my age. I just don't fret about age, it's not as if it is something I can change and I've found being care free is more likely to produce results than worrying about it.

(in reply to nycboyy)
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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 8:43:29 AM   
wild1cfl


Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
I see very little value in age, I have seen submissives who are in their 40s act much less mature than a submissive in their 20s. Now if they have the wisdom that sometimes comes with age that is another matter. I have taken on submissives from 21 to 60 and not worried about what age they are, it is what is in their heart that is important.

_____________________________

Wild

My Falcon now is sharp, and passing empty; And, till she stoop, she shall not be full gorg'd, For then she never looks upon her lure. Another way i have to man my haggard, to make her come and know her keeper's call. Wm. Shakespeare

(in reply to nycboyy)
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RE: Age - 9/28/2006 8:58:53 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
My own age has never bothered me. I thought nothing of turning 30 but it does bother me when family members reach the rounded ages. My brother hit 30 a few years ago it just floored me as I still feel we are these young people. I guess I see age through the people I am close to and not realize it in myself.

Technically I do believe age is mostly relative but from my experience it is not something to be taken casually or like it is not a big issue to explore and get comfortable with when dealing with a potential partner. My former Master was twenty-three years older then me and when we were first together the differences like music taste, movies or social activities were meaningless to both of us. Unfortunately his life stage/energy changed to a point where it severly changed our relationship and all of a sudden cute differences became major issues. So to me it is not so much what two people are compatible right now but what about years in the future when considering a partner and the anwers are just not that easy.


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