quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

I do think there are too many in this life who are new or looking for their other have expectations and thoughts that are pretty unrealisitc and really agree with you that too many expect the life to cure then from unhappiness which is just delusional. I do not think that most who actually live this life and certainly anyone with experience and still looks lives in an abnormal fantasy world with their expectations. I believe most just concentrate on the sex and BDSM part first to the exclusion of other things that are also critical.

These are relationships just like any other.  I have plenty of regular friends who try to live life in a fantasy way. Many marriages are entered into, particularly first ones and when people are young, with fantasy images of marriage and not realistic ones. Many people live fantasy lives by living outside their means driving fancy cars, big homes and expensive vacations and credit card debt at an alarming figure. The M/s life since it is a more, for most, a sexual/physical life that people tend to concentrate on those aspects way too much and not other aspects of what makes a relationship work.

When lookning for someone, whether online or in person, we are gravitated to the more exciting parts of that attraction. For most people in this life that is sexual and BDSM portion. It is fairly easy to find people who share our views on politics, favorite movies or what we like to do on vacations and can find that anywhere. But to find the M/s and BDSM match stuff is so elusive that I think most of us, including myself, put too much importance on that aspect not from looking or wanting but from neglecting the other important things. This life tends to be more "extreme" and we as normal human beings seem to always search out utopia when looking for the new special person. So it certainly can come off as living in fantasy. The key of course is making sure you step back in the real world before making the leap.

Both sides need to make an effort to keep it in reality. I often read messages about men wanting me to be naked whenever I am home and often wonder if always keep the drapes closed 24/7 and are prepared for the heating bill to be doubled come winter time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

I do think there are too many in this life who are new or looking for their other have expectations and thoughts that are pretty unrealisitc and really agree with you that too many expect the life to cure then from unhappiness which is just delusional. I do not think that most who actually live this life and certainly anyone with experience and still looks lives in an abnormal fantasy world with their expectations. I believe most just concentrate on the sex and BDSM part first to the exclusion of other things that are also critical.

These are relationships just like any other.  I have plenty of regular friends who try to live life in a fantasy way. Many marriages are entered into, particularly first ones and when people are young, with fantasy images of marriage and not realistic ones. Many people live fantasy lives by living outside their means driving fancy cars, big homes and expensive vacations and credit card debt at an alarming figure. The M/s life since it is a more, for most, a sexual/physical life that people tend to concentrate on those aspects way too much and not other aspects of what makes a relationship work.

When lookning for someone, whether online or in person, we are gravitated to the more exciting parts of that attraction. For most people in this life that is sexual and BDSM portion. It is fairly easy to find people who share our views on politics, favorite movies or what we like to do on vacations and can find that anywhere. But to find the M/s and BDSM match stuff is so elusive that I think most of us, including myself, put too much importance on that aspect not from looking or wanting but from neglecting the other important things. This life tends to be more "extreme" and we as normal human beings seem to always search out utopia when looking for the new special person. So it certainly can come off as living in fantasy. The key of course is making sure you step back in the real world before making the leap.

Both sides need to make an effort to keep it in reality. I often read messages about men wanting me to be naked whenever I am home and often wonder if always keep the drapes closed 24/7 and are prepared for the heating bill to be doubled come winter time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GddssBella
...

I just dearly wish folks would stop viewing this lifestyle as a meat market, ripe for the fruition of their base lusts.
....

quote:

ORIGINAL: GddssBella
I've initiated this thread as an advisory, if you will, for those that are confusing what they've read, seen, heard perhaps in the media or through their own rambling sexual discordia. Take it with whatever grain of salt you feel necessary. I just dearly wish folks would stop viewing this lifestyle as a meat market, ripe for the fruition of their base lusts.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LASub4Real

I've always thought that one reason for the lack of reality (and I'm certainly not the first) is PORNO!

Waaaay to many people get their appetites whetted, their imagery defined, their lexicon set, indeed and their entire concept of S&M based on porno tapes. These guys (mostly guys) begin with Hugh Heffner and Larry Flynt in their teens and end up years later in the long and curly end of the porno cornucopia shaking out the whips and chains videos.

And when these fine young gentlemen finally arrive at the end of the masturbatory rainbow, what do they find? Why, a sado porno club!!! A place where they can actually find real people who are willing to engage real-time in this exciting new form of porno for less than the cost of a video... they even call it a "Lifestyle!"

And that's how they see Alt and CM and all the others, a social extension of their extreme porno videos. So every other day they arrive here on the boards with wanker questions and hastily filled out profiles that read, "I am LordTIM, and I require my NAKED stable of subs to draw my carriage to work NAKED and wait for me until 5:00 p.m. in the parking lot NAKED."

I have no idea what the solution to this problem is.

LAsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedOnMyChain
P.S.- Would it be a "pornucopia" then?