RE: Should I See a Pro Domme?

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biblicalfury -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/6/2006 7:45:33 AM)
There have been some unexpected replies here, but I'd once again like to thank everyone for voicing their opinions and helping me out. I know that a session with a Pro isn't going to be the be all end all or the same as a relationship with a Domme. Eventually, I'd like to get involved in the local scene and have something meaningful. But you have to walk before you can run. That's how I'm looking at this. Frankly, I'm a little nervous about getting involved with the local scene, partly because I haven't done any of this stuff before. I figure I can get a taste of things and see how I enjoy it. It's tough to go and try to find a Domme that I'm compatible with when I really only know what I like to watch, read about and think about. It should be a learning experience and I hope it'll help me better understand what I'd like out of a D/s relationship, how deep I'd like to submit, etc. Plus, I'm in grad school, busy, a bit stressed out lately, and seeing a Domme just sounds fun too. I've done some research and found a couple of good options, I think. With everyone so helpful so far, your thoughts would be appriciated. There are two Mistresses I found that have extensive websites, so I've been able to see them in action a bit, so to speak. One is very close by, but rarely accepts people without experience. Others sometimes visit her place, so that may be a possibility. The second is a bit out of the way, so making the time to get there won't be so easy. I like the site, spoke with her and I think I could have a good session there. Both are a bit pricey, but seem to have good reputations online. There is one other one I found online. There's far less information available, but she still seems like she could be a good possibility. I didn't get a chance to call this one, though. Finally, there are a couple of newspaper ads. I called one of them and it very reasonably priced and practically within walking distance of where I work. Unlike a few of the other ads I called, I had a good feeling after the call, but I feel like I'd be going in less prepared than the ones I found online since I just don't have as much info.

Jasmyn -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/6/2006 7:59:43 AM)
Biblical don't be afraid to ask to meet with each of them for a coffee, and/or ask to view their premises prior to deciding whom to have a session with.

stockingluvr54 -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/6/2006 9:30:43 AM)
Once again.... Pick wisely! IMO....she'll set up an interview over coffee if she's good. She'll get an understanding of what you may need and work around that. You'll get some experience..she'll get some dough. You'll have a better idea after the session of what works for you and that'll help you in future relationships. Sounds like you understand that the emotional/sex part is non existent and as long as you understand that it's a biz relationship you should hopefully end up with a memorable experience...good luck! Let us know how it goes....????

Solaise -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/6/2006 9:39:58 AM)
A Pro-Domme is going to give you what you pay for. And your experience will probably lack the depth of what you would experience with a Domme who was there to teach and guide you for the sake of teaching, not for what she will 'gain' from it. Having said that, there are some good pros out there who might be worth experiencing. I am a little bit biased, but if you do decide to go to a pro, choose carefully to optimize that experience.

jimbo747 -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/6/2006 12:15:19 PM)
Because a person is pro, that doesnt mean they cant teach, guide and offer indepth knowledge and experience to an interested sub AND ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT AS WELL. Would they do it without getting paid -No, but so what. It's how they make their living! Would you go to work for free? Plus, they probably already do training for free - WITH THEIR PARTNER.

MichMasochist -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/6/2006 8:53:57 PM)
Well biblicalfury, use some common sense logic. Most of the respondants who are pro claiming the benefits of seeing a pro domme are those who stand to take your money. Think of it as buying a used car. Just because the sale-person says it's a good deal, doesn't mean that you will be getting what you paid for. After all who you going to complain to? So like others have posted be careful, be sellective, and ask around about her. Try your local munch, a good source for finding out what others know about her. Find out how long she's been in the bussiness. Longer the better. Oh yea, let her know that you will ask around about her. If she goes postal on you, then you'll know that she is not someone with whom you should do bussiness with. After all it's your flesh, your life, and your money. If she's running her dungeon in a residential neighborhood. The neighbors may already be writing down licence plate numbers of her customers for the police. After all running a commercial enterprise in a residencial zone is illegal.

Zinja2007 -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/7/2006 6:49:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submit2one Spending time and a little money with a well seasoned and skilled Pro Domme is one of the very best ways to discover activities you enjoy and perhaps a few you might want to avoid in the world of BDSM. I expected a lot of negative responses because CM posts usually flame Pro Domme's, but I've noticed that most of those posts are from male sub wannabe's who equivocate a BDSM Professional with some level of prostitution. Generally speaking, I've found that those who are most vehemently opposed to Pro Domme activities have some other zealous agenda they're trying to promulgate, and their opinionated negative posts *rarely, if ever*, speak from experience. I apprenticed to a renowned Domina many years ago. She was no hooker, honey, believe Me! She was a consummate professional teacher, coach, counselor and caregiver. You would be priviledged to have an opportunity to serve such a Pro, were you fortunate enough to locate one like Her. The small professional service fee you would pay couldn't begin to compare to the number of mistakes, heartaches, and foibles you'd be able to avoid, as opposed to having to bumble your way into BDSM activities on your own, without a Pro to guide you. As others have already pointed out, selecting a well respected Pro is the key to your success. Choose wisely, not solely from the web, find someone who can give you real life references. Having said all of the above, your ID of 'biblicalfury' seems rather at odds with your initial post. Perhaps you did not quite receive the response you hoped for in my reply? ; ) submit2one, formerly somethingorother [:D]

Keyholderwanted -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/7/2006 6:52:41 PM)
I occasionally see a Pro/LifestyleDomme and I can tell you that She has helped me discover so many wonderful things. Things I could never have experienced on my own. I have learned a great deal about myself as well as BDSM as a result of our time together and I have absolutely no regrets. My experiences have been nothing but positive. To say that a Pro responding about the benefits of seeing one is only interested in "taking" you money is IMHO off the mark. After all, you as the sub are paying for a service. You receive fantasy fullfilment in exchange for payment. It seems to me that under such an arrangement both parties benefit. I agree that common sence and logic should be used but doesn't that go without saying?

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/8/2006 12:37:38 AM)
quote: To say that a Pro responding about the benefits of seeing one is only interested in "taking" you money is IMHO off the mark. After all, you as the sub are paying for a service. You receive fantasy fullfilment in exchange for payment. It seems to me that under such an arrangement both parties benefit. I agree that common sence and logic should be used but doesn't that go without saying? That is exactly right. To the OP, yes you should see a pro in my opinion. M

MistressDolly -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/8/2006 9:01:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Keyholderwanted I occasionally see a Pro/LifestyleDomme and I can tell you that She has helped me discover so many wonderful things. Things I could never have experienced on my own. I have learned a great deal about myself as well as BDSM as a result of our time together and I have absolutely no regrets. My experiences have been nothing but positive. To say that a Pro responding about the benefits of seeing one is only interested in "taking" you money is IMHO off the mark. After all, you as the sub are paying for a service. You receive fantasy fullfilment in exchange for payment. It seems to me that under such an arrangement both parties benefit. I agree that common sence and logic should be used but doesn't that go without saying? I agree with your post, particulary regarding both "gaining from the experience". The pro and the sub who pays a fee are NOT oppossing players here. They are mutually inclusive, and one could NOT exist WITHOUT the other. IF there were no subs gaining from such an arrangement, pros would not be here. Certain haters need to get over it and lighten up.

underlimited -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/8/2006 11:50:33 AM)
i've seen 4 pro-Dommes in total and one of them had sex with me (even though over the phone She mentioned strictly no sex). So just in case, be prepared, She might like You enough to go further. quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam Seeing a Pro is an excellent way to try exactly what you want; Pro Doms are experts in fantasy fulfillment and reputable ones do it very well. Don't expect intercourse. Master Fire

Jasmyn -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/8/2006 12:08:21 PM)
lol the general consensus around here is professional domination isn't really domination so I'm guessing the sex wasn't really sex.

Samwhiplash -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/8/2006 1:14:07 PM)
I fully appreciate that pro-dommes offer a bdsm service (just bdsm).... however..... I am ALWAYS disappointed to hear that a sub I might be interested in having as my own has been to see a pro-domme. I dont want them to have taken the easy road to self fantasy fulfilment.. I want to see them dedicate themselves to finding a lifestyle Domme to serve. While here it may be an unpopular view... it may be worth noting how an future Mistress you may wish to serve may view your history. If it is fantasy fulfilment solely they are after... then I would not consider them sub anyway.

MistressDolly -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/8/2006 3:05:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Samwhiplash I fully appreciate that pro-dommes offer a bdsm service (just bdsm).... however..... I am ALWAYS disappointed to hear that a sub I might be interested in having as my own has been to see a pro-domme. I dont want them to have taken the easy road to self fantasy fulfilment.. I want to see them dedicate themselves to finding a lifestyle Domme to serve. While here it may be an unpopular view... it may be worth noting how an future Mistress you may wish to serve may view your history. If it is fantasy fulfilment solely they are after... then I would not consider them sub anyway. Not all subs are going to want you. Some just want an occassional scene here and there. And those that seek an occasional scene here and there "submit" too - it's just not a permanent submission.

dublinsub -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/9/2006 7:33:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Samwhiplash While here it may be an unpopular view... it may be worth noting how an future Mistress you may wish to serve may view your history. If it is fantasy fulfilment solely they are after... then I would not consider them sub anyway. Precisely. I wouldn't go to a pro-domme in any circumstances. The reason being that experiencing BDSM at the hands of a pro-domme has nothing to do with genuine submission. True submission is about totally submitting oneself entirely for the pleasure and desires of the Mistress and ALWAYS solely upon her terms.

SexyFemDom -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/9/2006 7:43:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: underlimited i've seen 4 pro-Dommes in total and one of them had sex with me (even though over the phone She mentioned strictly no sex). So just in case, be prepared, She might like You enough to go further. quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam Seeing a Pro is an excellent way to try exactly what you want; Pro Doms are experts in fantasy fulfillment and reputable ones do it very well. Don't expect intercourse. Master Fire You saw 3 dommes and the fourth was a PROSTITUTE WITH A WHIP. Get it straight.

SexyFemDom -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/9/2006 7:47:33 AM)
Yeah, you sound like you are speaking from experience. Tell that to subs who CAN SPEAK FROM experience. You make no sense. Submitting to a pro is not really submitting? You dont know becuz you never been to a pro. Fool

dublinsub -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/9/2006 12:34:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SexyFemDom Yeah, you sound like you are speaking from experience. Tell that to subs who CAN SPEAK FROM experience. You make no sense. Submitting to a pro is not really submitting? You dont know becuz you never been to a pro. Fool Submitting to a Mistress (with whom one has a relationship) for her sake is true submission. Submitting to a pro is no more akin to true submission than attendance at a brothel is akin to true love. Whilst I don't want to rub it in, your pathetic profile speaks volumes in support of my point.

biblicalfury -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/9/2006 1:37:43 PM)
Samwhiplash (and the couple of other posters who agreed with her), I don't know if I'm clear on why you're against Pro Dommes. You said, "I dont want them to have taken the easy road to self fantasy fulfilment.. I want to see them dedicate themselves to finding a lifestyle Domme to serve." I don't think that these things are mutally exclusive. When you buy a car, you do research, find models that you like and then go and take some test drives. Then, once you find something you like, you buy it. That's sort of what I think I'm doing here. Eventually, I think I would like to dedicate myself to finding a Domme in the lifestyle to serve, hopefully on a long term basis. I don't have any experience to back this up, but I'd have to think that it could years to find that person. At least for me, I don't think seeing a pro is the easy way out, but really the first step. Without ever having experienced BDSM in some form, how can I really commit myself to finding a lifestyle Domme? As much as I doubt it would happen, there would always be that thought in the back of mind of, 'Hmm...do you really like this stuff?'. Would seeing a pro be fantasy fulfilment? Absolutely, but that doesn't have to be the only thing to come out of the visit. I don't see that as being a negative thing.

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? (10/9/2006 2:29:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SexyFemDom You saw 3 dommes and the fourth was a PROSTITUTE WITH A WHIP. Get it straight. Yeah, you tell him! It's far superior simply to take his money and watch him jerk off. [sm=rolleyes.gif] M

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