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RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 11:09:20 PM   
Strutinan


Posts: 17
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

HMM I wonder if her new Master knows what she did??? I dont know but Id be tempted to let him know... Because it seems this one cant be trusted!!

Magik's slave


Which would be petty and vindictive, not to mention stupid.  As far as I know, her current Master could LIKE girls like this due to a masochistic streak, I've met people like that who actually look forward to the break-up.  It would also be a waste of my time and energy, as somebody esle already noted, when I could be looking for somebody else and sharing "war stories" wiith people of similar experiences.

But so far, very very little luck.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 11:09:32 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:



And here is the thing: I have it in my power to royaly fuck up her life.  Legally.  A few words in the right ears, some time on the computer, and she will be without any friends or prospects for a good life.  The only problem is: I'm not a vindictive person by nature (despite being a Dom)...I usually let karma do all the work.

So that is the point of this post.  Who out there wants to share thier faithless sub/slave experiences, and what they did about it?


Just wanted to point out the wording you used here, Strutinan. It's a possible source of the subsequent posts regarding stalking etc. When someone says 'usually' it's because 'this time' they are going to do things differently than their usual MO.

You held out hope even though, after a month of not speaking with you, of avoiding your messages, of having her friends cover for her, you didn't want to see what was obvious. You didn't get closure, so I do understand it, but take a deep breath and some time for yourself. For guys, I usually recommend a JD and football night with a buddy and a free for all bash on submissive - slaves. The next day, take a couple of asprin for the headache with lots of cold water and start to live life without her. Hearing horror stories and commiserating about cruel, cruel slaves is OK to do, but r/t with a buddy and Jack Daniels is probably better.

Good luck to you - you're not alone and, sad as this is, you won't be the last.

Celeste


_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Strutinan)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 11:14:09 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Sir I was jokeing!!! But I do feel for you!!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 11:17:39 PM   
Strutinan


Posts: 17
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline 		I meant "usually" (and please note that the emphasis in the quote was not there in the source) in terms of the past tense.  As in "this yer we can expect not to be able to have protracted camping trips, because usually this month it rains too much".  Most of the time I just have to wait out the pain, and move on.  But sometimes I can get a vicarious thrill from knowing that they fucked themselves over, such as the afore-mentioned stalker/felon.  Hence the past-tense use of "usaully", since sometimes what I do or do not do doesn't factor into the result of the situation.

Otherwise the quote would read "I'm usually not a vindictive person by nature (despite being a Dom), but this time I think I will be."  THAT is the use of "usually" you are referring to as meaning "except this time", since the sentence contains a qualifier.

< Message edited by Strutinan -- 10/2/2006 11:20:02 PM >

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 11:19:41 PM   
Strutinan


Posts: 17
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Sir I was jokeing!!! But I do feel for you!!!

Magik's slave


My appologies, I try not to be so snappy but this failed attempt at an invitation to group venting has me on edge.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 11:21:30 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		go back to the first page Sir and read the last post on it from me!! I think you missed it.... we arent all bashing you!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to Strutinan)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 11:22:24 PM   
LASub4Real


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Strutinan

quote:

ORIGINAL: LASub4Real

I’m sure that the most common answer will be “nothing.”

This happens to everybody. OK it’s not polite, it’s not mature but it happens. The thing is that it hurts and of course, the juvenile thing to do is to try and hurt her back. But that would be a waste of time and energy. Why don’t you use that to find someone else.

LAsub


I am.  That is why I am here, an acquaintance suggested it as the perfet place to vent a bit and sooth a broken heart.  So far though, I'd have to say my assessment on both counts is ambivalent at best.



I think that people are sympathetic but your only flaw was in mentioning your restraint in not doing something nasty to get back at her. That always comes off as small and a bit spiteful. Even people who consider doing the same thing themselves don't approve of others doing it. People want you to take the high road, shoot, even I want to see you take the high road, and somehow, I feel sure that you will.

And for what it's worth, I truly am sorry that this happened to you and I wish you the best of luck in finding someone else.

LAsub

LAsub

(in reply to Strutinan)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 11:23:00 PM   
Strutinan


Posts: 17
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

go back to the first page Sir and read the last post on it from me!! I think you missed it.... we arent all bashing you!!

Magik's slave


I did...after I posted the snapping post.  Your last post came in while I was typing, hence my appologies for snapping at you over something you did not intend as a bash on me.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 11:23:08 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Strutinan

I meant "usually" (and please not that the emphasis in the quote was not there in the source) in terms of the past tense. 


Yes, I know, that's why I mentioned the fact that it was I who was pointing it out. You don't need to convince me, but you did seem rather lost as to why so many people jumped on it and I gave a response as to what could have been a possible reason.  

No harm, no foul. I didn't read it that way myself, just thought it could have been read that way by others. Anyway, welcome to the forums since I forgot to mention that in my post to you.

Celeste


_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Strutinan)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 11:26:09 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Strutinan

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

go back to the first page Sir and read the last post on it from me!! I think you missed it.... we arent all bashing you!!

Magik's slave


I did...after I posted the snapping post.  Your last post came in while I was typing, hence my appologies for snapping at you over something you did not intend as a bash on me.



HEHE its all good Sir.. though I was about to stop defending you!!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to Strutinan)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 11:36:35 PM   
Strutinan


Posts: 17
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline 		While some people here have been helpful, and others even understanding, the overwhelming tone of the topic seems to be one of derision towards yours truely.  Why?  Evidently, it is for espousing the basic human reaction to want to lash out at somebody who has wronged me, and every single such post has ignored the basic fact that I said I have not and would not.

Thank you MagiksSlave for your defense, LASub4Real and BitaTruble for your help, but I think I am done with this topic.  It has gone about as far away from the intent of the original post as it is possible to get without mentioning nazis, or who would win in a super-hero fight, and it is time to be done with it.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 11:55:38 PM   
abytchgoddess4u


Posts: 268
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline 		Though I have never done so, and would never do so...I sympathise with your urges. My thought patterns do lead to vindictiveness, but my behaviour does not.

I love getting together with my GFs after a breakup, eating craploads of ice cream, and plotting the destruction of my exes...and so do my friends!

Sometimes we just need to vent and have someone else hear our pain...


_____________________________

"Everything in the Universe Is within you.
Ask all from yourself." Rumi

"The world will know and understand me someday. But if that day does not arrive, it does not greatly matter. I shall have opened the way for other women."
George Sand

(in reply to Strutinan)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/3/2006 12:09:41 AM   
Sirandlittle1


Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		Well, if you call thinking about REVENGE, vindictive, put me down for some.
Thinking about something is vastly different to actually doing something.
I do the former, frequently, helps me eat humble pie of bad days with my bosses. Anyone on my hit list, the list gets handed directly to the Karma Police Dept. They're slow sometimes, but usually thorough.
So you rant Strutinan.
Sometimes its tough at the top.
But the rewards are worth it
Be strong, dont let the bastards grind ya down.
littleone

[Mod Note:  huge font size reduced]

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 10/3/2006 6:01:21 AM >

(in reply to abytchgoddess4u)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/3/2006 1:07:00 AM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		Ending a relationship with someone you cared about is never easy, it's usually painful, and it always sucks.

I'm sorry you went through this, but better it ended now before you spent anymore time and energy on the relationship.

Better luck next time!

(in reply to Strutinan)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/3/2006 1:27:01 AM   
ChainedExistence


Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline 		The best revenge of all is moving on and being happy...

(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/3/2006 3:19:44 AM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		Strutinan ... I've been there, done that.  There were three different times and three different slaves as a matter of fact, that did much the same thing.  As the Domme half of a couple and the one that does the training ... I let these different people into Our lives and Our hearts.  They played games, then suddenly disappeared.  Does that hurt?  Yes.  Does the pain last forever?  No.  Move past it and find someone truly worthy of You and Your house, heart, mind and soul ... Karma.

Here I go again, posting contrary to others here.  It's not stalking that jumped to my mind.  The moment Strutinan mentioned ... Karma.  He's ... venting.  And ... We need to allow Him to do so.  If a person has no outlet in other places, in real places, this should be a place He can go without being attacked.  Much like a person would use a journal.  That's what I did when the slaves played with Us.  I vented in My journal.  Strutinan came here ...

Strutinan ... Another thing to help create a more positive Karma is perhaps an IRL munch or party at your local BDSM community.  Networking and getting to know others in the lifestyle IRL.  Take a deep breath and put this player you had the misfortune to run across, out of your mind ... and eventually she will be out of your heart as well.




_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/3/2006 7:36:57 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Strutinan

I'm not a vindictive person by nature (despite being a Dom)...I usually let karma do all the work.

So that is the point of this post.  Who out there wants to share thier faithless sub/slave experiences, and what they did about it?


quote:

ORIGINAL: Strutinan
The only problem is: I'm not a vindictive person by nature (despite being a Dom)...I usually let karma do all the work.
...
So that is the point of this post.  Who out there wants to share thier faithless sub/slave experiences, and what they did about it?


I know you’re hurting. It sucks when relationships don't turn out the way we had hoped and planned. Believe me I know this. However, your two statements here are contradictory. Either you want to trash her or you don't. So you won't fuck with her legally...but why trash her here and encourage others to do the same with theirs?

Right now isn't the time you'll listen to most advice, but I'll give you mine anyway in hopes that it will lodge itself and be of use later. Take what is of value, if anything.

Anger is often a form of fear. Our biggest fear is that we're not worthy of love, but we work very, very hard to hide this fact both from ourselves as well as others. We become angry when someone hurts us and this is often due to our fear that, because they don't love us in the way we had expected, we must not be worthy of love. If our sense of self worth comes from outside us, when the person/situation that was giving up this sense disappears, we plummet back into the well of self doubt and self loathing. We don't want to look at the deep seated belief that we're unworthy, so we lash out.

We also develop a desperate attachment to people because we want them to validate our hope of self worth. We don't actually believe it ourselves and so we want to keep and maintain the source of the validation. We come to expect it rather than simply enjoy what is offered. People change, situations change. That she left you isn't about you...it's about her and her stuff. How you deal with it is all about you and your stuff. You can't control how she treats you, but you can control how you treat her and yourself.

Knowing that we do this is half the battle. Knowing that, if we work on ourselves and attempt to grow and learn from every situation is the other. Really look inside and try to figure out WHY it hurts so much that she left, then take steps to fix that within you. In time, you can move on. You might always feel a loss when it comes to this girl. But, time will lessen the hurt. Be compassionate with yourself, too. Often, seeing and feeling this lesson once is not enough to actually get the lesson and so it gets rescheduled time and time again until we do.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Strutinan)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/3/2006 7:42:15 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Strutinan

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

Even if she did you wrong, you have to put it in context and not equate it to royally fucking up her life to get even. Just blow it off, find another. Life moves on.


That is what I am trying to do, like I said: karma usually takes care of this kind of behavior.  That is why, despite what juliaoceania assumes, I am NOT going to "stalk" her or any shit like that.  But the temptation to do somethign to "get back" at her IS great, which is the reason I posted this topic: to see what others in similar situations have gone through and thus have the solace of not being alone.



Hello A/all,

Your post did sound a bit premeditative to me.  I could be wrong, but if your plan is to mess up somebody else, evidence of premeditation tends to increase the severity of the criminal charge filed against you.

I agree with many of the other posters.  Lose her phone number.  Move on.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Strutinan)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/3/2006 7:46:44 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Yes she did you wrong. We all have been done that way. She obvioulsy wasn't the person you thought she was. Say good bye and good riddens. All you can do is learn from this and move on. Good luck to you.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Strutinan)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/3/2006 7:49:16 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		How old was she?  My guess is that she was just 18 and off to college.  Do you know how likely it was for her to stay with someone she’d met before college?  She’s got a whole new world now, a whole new outlook on life, new friends, new avenues of discovery.  People that young and in that environment are changing at an immensely fast pace in so many ways that it would be nearly a miracle for you to stay together, considering you weren’t in that environment with her directly.

Yes, it sucks and it hurts and we always prefer to be given the noble goodbye rather than the slow kill.  But try and look at it from the realistic perspective and let it go.  You’re both doing what’s right for you.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 40
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