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Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 4:05:52 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
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I wonder how many posters here on collarme are really secure in WIITWD?

I mean really secure.

So secure that if another poster on this board put together enough information from their various posts to contact their employer, their family, and their friends it would not affect their lives.

Not possible you say? You would be wrong!

Face it we all talk about our jobs, families, living situations, what have you, often enough when we post so that if someone wanted to they could figure out where we lived or worked. Not to mention many of us have our photos posted here.

I post no photo but I often talk of my racing habits, it would be fairly easy to figure out my real name simply due to my age, sex and the type of racing I prefer.

A dear friend of mine whom I have known for years, who visits me often, opened an account just so he could jump in on another thread of mine because right or wrong it irritated him. When asked questions about his profession he answered them honestly, he personally would not be affected in his field of expertise by being outed, the fact is almost all who know him are aware of his lifestyle, it actually gives him an advantage in his chosen field among the clientele he works with.

Yet if the folks who did this were do proceed in this manner with another collarme member whose posts they care not for, the consequences could potentially be disastrous.

What do you think of posters who take this type of action?

What would be the damage done to so many of us if this same action were brought to bear on our lives?

< Message edited by twicehappy -- 10/4/2006 4:39:04 AM >

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Post #: 1

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 4:10:16 AM

kisshou

Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

I do not feel it is CM's responsibility to do anything. I think it is morally wrong for one poster to out another poster. Damage or a blessing in disguise, it all depends on each unique situation.

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 2

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 4:12:03 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
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Forgot to ad this bit of information from another thread;

QUOTE:

"I contacted the Psychiatric Unit at St. Michaels Hospital in Toronto and charmed the woman I spoke to about the person, who I described, that I had met in a coffee shop who was affiliated with them. They gave me a name. A number. The name of a psychiatric practice. Said he was a wonderful psychiatrist and they were thrilled to have him on staff. "

My friend informed me this morning that the receptionist from his place of business left him a message that someone acting strangely called to inquire about him. As he has a very distinctive appearance it could not have been mistaken as a description of someone else. She was very concerned for my friend's well being given the nature of his business and the clientele he deals with.

< Message edited by twicehappy -- 10/4/2006 4:19:06 AM >

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

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Post #: 3

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 4:14:46 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
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My life would be damaged. This is a personal and private part of me.
I don't think collarme should be involved in any way as a result. We are adults and choose how much personal info we post. Suffer the consequences of our own actions.

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 4

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 4:22:48 AM

MasterC46910

Posts: 108
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline

CM has no responsibility in my opinion. This is a open public forum. You made the decision to come on here and open yourself to whatever information you put out there. If your private life would affect your job, then it is your responsibility to keep it safe and not come to places like this and take the chance to have it exposed. I am a big believer in people being responsible for their own action.

That being said, if someone at work did out me, I am in a position that it would not really affect my job. Other then a lot of construction workers coming around and bothering me with a lot of questions...LOL It is just my preference to keep my personal life private. I do that even with vanilla relationships. I never talk about who I date or what happens.

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 5

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 4:39:17 AM

Cardius

Posts: 15
Joined: 7/16/2005
Status: offline

I used to work for Northrop and the shift I was on had quite a few of us into BDSM. Most brought there slaves (in collar)to the company christmas party. I kind of miss that place.

(in reply to MasterC46910)

Post #: 6

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 4:47:07 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

My Master's employer knows, he just does not bring it up, he refers to Jewel and i as the girls. You are lucky to work with like minded people.

< Message edited by twicehappy -- 10/4/2006 5:21:39 AM >

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to Cardius)

Post #: 7

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 4:56:02 AM

SirLordTrainer

Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline

Im fairly well secure in My life in regards to BDSM. Family and friends all pretty much know what Im into, some may approve, some may not. With exception to one or two at most that are neither both, but would prefer they not know. If confronted however, I may more than likely tell them. Any kink-friendly psyche's in Indiana? grin

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Post #: 8

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 5:02:59 AM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

For myself, personally, I could care less. I work part time at the university and go to school full time. Everyone has seen the bruises on my body from time to time; and those same people have asked me questions about it.
/shrug
Who gives a fuck. Someone wants to go and talk to my professors, and talk to the faculty at the university about my personal life; more power to them I say.

quote:

A dear friend of mine whom I have known for years, who visits me often, opened an account just so he could jump in on another thread of mine because right or wrong it irritated him. When asked questions about his profession he answered them honestly, he personally would not be affected in his field of expertise by being outed, the fact is almost all who know him are aware of his lifestyle, it actually gives him an advantage in his chosen field among the clientele he works with.

Yet if the folks who did this were do proceed in this manner with another collarme member whose posts they care not for, the consequences could potentially be disastrous.

What do you think of posters who take this type of action?

I read what was left of that thread. Personally I find the actions of you and your 'friend' to be more questionable than that of the other posters. But then, I could really care less if your friend or you were outed to the vanilla world.
Big fucking deal
whoopy de do

I think that the posters in question, in regards to your little rant here and your little tantrum on the other thread, showed amazing restraint in how they reacted to your childish little stunt. But then, I guess not all of us have to grow up to be mature adults now do we?

quote:

What would be the damage done to so many of us if this same action were brought to bear on our lives?

The only damage done would be that which you bring upon yourself. I find it amazing that one who professes to care very little how others view you own life would care one way or the other.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 9

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 5:12:32 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLordTrainer

If confronted however, I may more than likely tell them. Any kink-friendly psyche's in Indiana?

LMAO.......that could have fallen out of Scooter's mouth.

Kink friendly psychic's no, but you have kink friendly friends in Liberty.

< Message edited by twicehappy -- 10/4/2006 5:21:23 AM >

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to SirLordTrainer)

Post #: 10

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 5:17:18 AM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

Forgot to ad this bit of information from another thread;

QUOTE:

"I contacted the Psychiatric Unit at St. Michaels Hospital in Toronto and charmed the woman I spoke to about the person, who I described, that I had met in a coffee shop who was affiliated with them. They gave me a name. A number. The name of a psychiatric practice. Said he was a wonderful psychiatrist and they were thrilled to have him on staff. "

My friend informed me this morning that the receptionist from his place of business left him a message that someone acting strangely called to inquire about him. As he has a very distinctive appearance it could not have been mistaken as a description of someone else. She was very concerned for my friend's well being given the nature of his business and the clientele he deals with.

If this is about the shrink from Toronto, I would say that if he wasn't prepared to face real life repurcussions, he shouldnt have come to a place where real life people interact to spout off his credentials, location, and description of himself, as if it made his lame argument more substantial.  Furthermore and even more importantly, he shouldnt have used his background to intimidate, scold or otherwise "advise" real life people in a real life direct manner, without understanding that the people he was reprimanding might want to know if he is "real". How can these people insure their safety? How do they know he's not a nut who is going to take this further?   If he didnt want his background examined, he shouldnt have used it to support his argument. Its that simple. One must take responsibility for their actions.

To summarize: If anyone is that concerned about being outted then they shouldnt come to a message board and let loose not only with personal information, but direct personal reprimands towards those they don't even know . Its no surprise to me if someone took steps to find out if he is legitimate. I sure as hell would want to know about some mystery man who came up out of the blue and got up in my face in an abrupt manner, the way your "friend" did on that thread.  Frankly, that guy was 'squicky'. And now you are taking quotes from other posters and implying that they're trying to fuck with someone's real life???   You are beyond contempt at this point.

Normally Im not one to even get in the middle of this crap. I was scrolling the board looking for intelligent life and legitmate conversations only to get to the end of your post to feel fooled and frankly used. You're sitting here trying to rally innocent people into unknowingly backing up your effort to continue a battle with other posters.  How offensive...really.

Just alittle advice.... Get over this already. You're really beginning to look like a shit-stirrer.

Definitions: "Shit-Stirrer" One who likes to stir up shit in a passive aggressive manner, then feast off of it for days at at time. Not to be confused with "antagonist" who only starts trouble sometimes and has limits as to how many days they will carry it.

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 11

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 5:21:02 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

If anyone is that concerned about being outted then they shouldnt come to a message board and let loose not only with personal information, but direct personal reprimands towards those they don't even know .

How can these people insure their safety? How do they know he's not a nut who is going to take this further?

Do you know me then? Have we been introduced? I am a face and words on a computer screen to you the same as you are to me.

Take what further?

Give them a second recommendation for another therapist in direct response for their request that he provide information on a mental health subject?

< Message edited by twicehappy -- 10/4/2006 5:25:31 AM >

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to marieToo)

Post #: 12

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 5:22:36 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

If a person outs another person for vindictive reasons of course it's wrong. That's a no-brainer.

I don't worry much about being outed. It has little to do with the kind of work I do and my employer probably wouldn't care what I do in my private time. I am cautious. I don't give out much personal information about myself, but I'm not paranoid either.

Think about this too. Someone would have to give other people a whole lot of information to prove it's you. How can they really prove that all that information came from a particular website, or wasn't edited or made up? Think about it. How easy would it be to get back at someone you are upset with by using their pic to set up a false profile and then make up a bunch of phoney online conversations? Too easy.

(in reply to Tikkiee)

Post #: 13

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 5:34:18 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

And what does it say about the ethics of those would engage in contacting another members place of business?

Your friend gave out all his information and invited folks to check if he was real or just an internet phantom like twuestofthetwu (or whatever that id was). So there is no problem with the ethics of someone who actually checks to see if he is full of shit or not.

However, I seriously question the ethics of someone who tries to "out" someone doing a reality check as having sinister motives. I think you are right to suspect someone being overly obsessive about posting behavior to the point of seeking vengeance, however you should just go look in the mirror to find the culprit.

_____________________________

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(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 14

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 5:36:59 AM

SirLordTrainer

Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLordTrainer

If confronted however, I may more than likely tell them. Any kink-friendly psyche's in Indiana?

LMAO.......that could have fallen out of Scooter's mouth.

Kink friendly psychic's no, but you have kink friendly friends in Liberty.

Nice to know! Hope Y/yall have a great day.. As far as that type of behavior I think it sucks would be an understatement, but I know theyre are people like that. Which is why I have a hard time trusting some folks.

_____________________________

Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 15

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 5:47:08 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I think you are right to suspect someone being overly obsessive about posting behavior to the point of seeking vengeance, however you should just go look in the mirror to find the culprit.

Sorry since i am not the one who actually went so far as to engage in this behavior i fail to see how looking in the mirror would provide me with a clue.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 16

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 6:07:08 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Any poster wishing to reply to the topic at hand, please do so. Any poster who wishes to flame, engage in name calling, or other non topic issues will be ignored.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 17

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 6:17:52 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
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twicehappy is not going to be posting on this thread any more... as my mother would say... the more you stir in shit the worse it smells.

Enjoy yourselves.

Jewel

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Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 18

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 6:33:56 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

I think it's a sleezy thing to do, but certainly not beneath a lot of folks who post.
It's almost as if we are sharks looking for our next prey sometimes. I think it's sad and unfortunate. M

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(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 19

RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 6:44:11 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

Well, let's see......

I can count family and friends on fewer than my pointy finger, so I shouldn't have much to concern myself with there.

My 'job' is such that it might bring about some interesting comments from my coworkers, but the general consensus already is that I seem a little more relaxed with the oddities in life. I don't broadcast what I do, but there wouldn't be any repercussions I don't believe.

I don't post my picture here for the simple reason I don't think you're prepared for my kind of ugly, at least not yet. I'm considering it, though. Maybe soon.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 20

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