marieToo
Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006 From: Jersey Status: offline
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Julia: I dont not think it reeks of intolerance to say that a particular act is sick or gross. I think it takes balls to be in the minority and not be afraid to express your thoughts. To go up to another person and call them a name, well, yeah, then I could understand "backlash", to some extent. I would also agree that theres a productive way to express oneself and a non productive way. Although around here, sometimes you're fucked even when you try to say something nicely. I think hindering the expression that we think something is gross, or wrong, or 'insane' puts a moratorium on alot of topics that could've been useful exchanges, but that go unspoken because people are afraid to get jumped on by the masses. I dont mean something like someone calling you and your Daddy child molesters. I would be defending myself over that too. Or better yet, simply ignoring it. But if someone said..."Ya know Julia....Its squicky to me that you call him Daddy, I dont understand it but I would like to". Would you be able to discuss it without taking it personally? So many here cannot do this. The reaction even if asked nicely might go something like this.."Just because you think its squicky doesn't mean it really is, and just because you dont like it or understand it, doesnt means its sick". blah blah blah. Now if I don't tell you that I think its squicky, how can you understand where Im coming from when you want to help me understand its meaning ? In other words, there has to be some expression of some level of negativity for a person to even get their feeling across in order to possibly get "unsquicked" about it. (I am just using this as an example, because you cited this in your own post.) I do understand your meaning....Correct me if Im wrong, but I think what youre saying is basically, If you cant say something nice about someone, dont say anything at all. But I dont think most sincere people mean to denigrade a person in these instances that Ive witnessed here. I honestly believe that some people see certain things as sick. Why? I Dont know...If you look at my post in response to Celeste, I even question myself as to why I see some things as sick and others as ok. As I would see the hypothetical of consensual eye-gouging as sick. lol. I probably wouldnt tell them its sick though, cuz Id be scared they were going to take my eyes next. That was a fictious example designed to make a point, btw. Maybe I didnt word it right. Anyway.... Its not that I want to call someone who eats shit a sick motherfucker. But I would be lame and cowardly even, to sit here and pretend that I dont think its gross. Isn't it better to say, "thats gross" than to go away mumbling under my breath "holy shit what a sick motherfucker that one is". Maybe, in a forum that's specifically designed to talk about deviant acts, we can come to a better understanding of our own discriminations. But if we go away quietly, cowaring in silence because we're scared of having half of the CM community gang up on us, well, theres something limiting and sad about that. And I think thats the main undertow around here about everything, not just a particular kink. Though I would agree entirely with you that we dont need to be crass in our approach, but the same would apply for the responder. A little sensitivity goes a long way, on both sides, I suppose. Thanks for indulging me. No one else does. lol. You put forth substantial 'arguments', Julia and I appreciate actually having to think, before responding because you make very good points.
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marie. I give good agita.
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