RE: confused

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SlaveAkasha -> RE: confused (10/17/2006 12:07:46 PM)
This is sort of a strange area for me. I am bisexual, or I used to be. It seems that the desire to be with women isn't there for me anymore. I don't know if it's because I have not found one I am attracted to, or it's just not something that does it for me. Master and I have talked about this a lot. He knows that a hard limit for me, is seeing him with another woman. I know that he desires to see me with one though. I know this will probably be something I do to please him in the future. Master has told me that he won't have sex with her, but will me, while I am with her, or he will watch. That part makes it a bit easier for me, though still not a pleasant thought. I don't have a moral stand against it, it just doesn't flip my switch, so to speak. I will be allowed to find her myself, so that might help things because the attraction would be there for me already. I guess I don't see how anyone should be forced, but then again, Master told me this before I was collared, and I knew his wishes in it. As long as the Dom is upfront with the sub, and they know about it going in.. I don't see how it's wrong at all. If a sub/slave is totally against it, they don't have to belong to that person and do what they say. This is where open communication comes in BEFORE two people make that sort of commitment to each other. I have no doubt that the sub or woman I am with will enjoy it, even if it's not my favorite thing to do. If my Master is watching, and I know I am pleasing him.. I will of course put on one hell of a show. Service to Master is done with a smile, and this instance will be no different. Masters Akasha

afeathr -> RE: confused (10/19/2006 5:10:20 PM)
This is a very poignant post for me... LOL I thought that I was all about being straight when I met Sir. He expressed, on day one, his desire for me to be with a woman... well... needless to say I was taken aback. I have always considered myself to be very straight. Apparently, I was wrong. He pushed me into my first encounter, and it was nerve-wracking to say the least (he was cradling me the night before to calm my nerves - and I am NOT a nervous person) but after the first time, it's been easy... in fact... I crave it on occasion. He enjoys it, I enjoy it... what harm could come of it?? The problem is... how to approach?? I am not a lesbian, don't do clubs and have little luck online so how does one come across an attractive, kinky, willing woman to have fun with?? Once you cross the line - you probably won't go back... enjoy the process, it's fun!! :)

afeathr -> RE: confused (10/19/2006 5:20:17 PM)
quote: No, submission and slavery is not about sacrifice. That's what martyrs are for. I've nothing wrong with an owner telling their slave to fuck anyone and everyone they want in whatever way they want or with the slave obeying. But suggesting that they get off on it just because they are obeying or that they should sacrifice who they are just to be obedient is unrealistic. This may be where you and I disagree, LA. I, personally, get GREAT satisfaction and even a good bit of sexual desire from please Sir. It's hard to make such a blanket statement when talking about submission because for some (a lot probably) submission is a kink in itself. I know that my deepest desire is to see Sir happy and if that means that I must submit to something that is less than tasteful (though fortunately, we have the same tastes in most things) then that is what I will do, and quite honestly I will probably enjoy it more than I thought I would merely because 1) it please him, and 2) most of the time it's something I haven't done so until I do it, how will I really know?? Being a slave means that you accept that the Master is in charge, period. If that is not the case, then you are not a slave. Being a "sub" may have a bit of a different connotation, but it's still submission at it's finest. If you think otherwise, then you are getting back into the realm of vanilla... and most of us no longer want to be in that catagory.

afeathr -> RE: confused (10/19/2006 5:22:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHugs Dear sweetnurseBBW, Ladies and Gentlemen; On adding what sweetnurseBBW said; it is also a duty of a dominant not to put a slave and or submissive into a position, where disobedience is the result. Putting all the future possibilities on the table, is only fair. Not allowing boundaries large enough to allow change, as to put a slave into a position as to make them feel cornered and disobey is not my personal choice of domination. Obedience should come from wanting to please, not fearing the consequences if they don't obey but, hurt themselves non-consensually, such as doing something against their sexual nature. Personally--I hope to never put a slave in a no-win case scenerio. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs What about pushing limits? If no one pushes the limit then how would we know where we can really go?

afeathr -> RE: confused (10/19/2006 5:25:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mavis quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists So the third party would not be having sex with someone unwilling. However they may be having sex with someone who does not get any sexual gratification out of the act. But there is a big difference between unwilling and not gratified. Knight's kyra kyra, you're exactly right. i guess because i am bi, my feeling is the 3rd... having sexual intimacies with someone who isn't attracted or even half-assed interested in me strikes the exact same chord as non-consent. i understand how my words could have been read as the 3rd didn't agree to obey / consent, but i meant, eager, sexually interested type of consenting. Which is why i mentioned the hiring of an outsider who wouldn't have the expectation of being attractive to all (or any) of the parties involved. i really think there is a slight bit of difference in the D/s M/s flavor and use of the word consent and the consenting of nillas uninvolved in our dynamics. Because all of my bisexual stuff goes on absent of D/s or M/s, i think in terms of "using" any time a partner would be less than thrilled, or involving someone for reasons less than relationship, attraction, or mutual satisfaction of some type. Now this I can understand... if I am with a woman that is not at all interested, merely for the sake of doing what someone else has told her to do... well, that grates on my psyche. However, in my case, it's usually a free bi-sexual woman that is consenting to O/our desires and therefore less likely to be a problem. But... along the same vein, are there any women out there that actually know what they are doing with a woman??? If so, I have yet to find them.

Mavis -> RE: confused (10/19/2006 5:40:46 PM)
Know? Hell, i don't "Know" a woman any better than i do a male partner, it's always about how well they can communicate what they like, and for me, that takes a few times before you get past the "Your elbow is on my hair" stage.

adaddysgirl -> RE: confused (10/20/2006 9:46:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: unknowndesires thank you SirMoi for your response....and yes right from the very beginning i had told Him that i was not interested in other females.i have never even fantasied about it.i dont mind being pushed but in this area it was a definite no.thank you again for the response When i think of a hard limit, i look at it as something that might cause me some pyschological damage if i were forced to do it. That's what i base mine on anyway. i am not bisexual and have no interest at all in being with another female (if i ever had that curiosity, i certainly could have acted on it by now). i discuss my hard limits before the relationship begins and have only become involved with those who realized the importance of my hard limits. 'Forced bi' (or whatever you want to call it) would be psychologically devastating for me. But i can truly understand those who do it for their partner's pleasure and get no direct satisfaction out of it other than that. It must not have caused any long term negative effects for them. So i say if you feel it will have no long term damaging effects on you...or the relationship...then go for it. Otherwise, you may have some tough decisions to make in regard to your relationship. Just my thoughts.... Daddysgirl

DarkSideisXTC -> RE: confused (10/21/2006 4:23:57 PM)
I am sure to tick off some people but most Dom's will avoid a woman who says she is straight only. And not for the reason's you might think. D's is about openness and exploration of the power dynamic's of relationship's. My slave is bisexual and frankly it was a criteria before even reading her profile. To me it means she is open to explore desires that make us deeper and more fullfilled than just kinky vanilla's. It's not about playing with others perse its the openness to her sexuality. Frankly any woman that says she is straight just hasn't met the right woman yet. One other thing you may not understand is 100% of men including the most stuck up vanilla's are turned on by 2 females. I think you can find a Dom for a straight woman but it won't be easy.

greeneyes1962 -> RE: confused (10/21/2006 7:39:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSideisXTC I am sure to tick off some people but most Dom's will avoid a woman who says she is straight only. And not for the reason's you might think. D's is about openness and exploration of the power dynamic's of relationship's. My slave is bisexual and frankly it was a criteria before even reading her profile. To me it means she is open to explore desires that make us deeper and more fullfilled than just kinky vanilla's. It's not about playing with others perse its the openness to her sexuality. Frankly any woman that says she is straight just hasn't met the right woman yet. One other thing you may not understand is 100% of men including the most stuck up vanilla's are turned on by 2 females. I think you can find a Dom for a straight woman but it won't be easy. that is utter BS. i am absolutely not bi. i did it once for my former dom, hated it, and now it's a hard limit. my current dom has no interest in sharing me with another woman or man, and my hard limits were discussed immediately.

KnightofMists -> RE: confused (10/21/2006 8:18:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSideisXTC Frankly any woman that says she is straight just hasn't met the right woman yet. I guess then you would agree with the following "Frankly any man that says he is straight just hasn't met the right man yet" I noticed on your profile you say your straight.... I happen to know a few good males that could fix that problem your having. Of course.. you just might be full of shit too

darksdesire -> RE: confused (10/22/2006 5:58:41 PM)
That's well and good to express differing opinions, it's fun even. But why is it necessary to say somebody is "full of shit." That enters the realm of rude and disrespectful

KnightofMists -> RE: confused (10/22/2006 6:09:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darksdesire That's well and good to express differing opinions, it's fun even. But why is it necessary to say somebody is "full of shit." That enters the realm of rude and disrespectful I call them as I see them and will state them in the manner I choose... Your more than welcome to ignore or even block me and listen to his shit if you wish. However, some will make a different choice.

darksdesire -> RE: confused (10/22/2006 6:15:19 PM)
cool. i choose not to listen to your shit

adaddysgirl -> RE: confused (10/22/2006 6:28:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSideisXTC Frankly any woman that says she is straight just hasn't met the right woman yet. I guess then you would agree with the following "Frankly any man that says he is straight just hasn't met the right man yet" i was thinking the same thing KoM. i recall a time when i told a dom i wasn't bi and he asked me "Have you ever tried it?"....and when i said no, he asked "Then how do you know you wouldn't like it?". So i turned the question around and asked him the same about having sex with another guy....how would he know he wouldn't like it if he's never tried it? i guess there's just some things you know without having to try them. quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: darksdesire But why is it necessary to say somebody is "full of shit." That enters the realm of rude and disrespectful I call them as I see them and will state them in the manner I choose... Your more than welcome to ignore or even block me and listen to his shit if you wish. However, some will make a different choice. Well, darkdesire probably will 'listen to his shit'....since it appears she is his partner :) DG

BitaTruble -> RE: confused (10/22/2006 6:33:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSideisXTC Frankly any woman that says she is straight just hasn't met the right woman yet. How do you know this to be true? You state this opinion as if it were fact. quote: One other thing you may not understand is 100% of men including the most stuck up vanilla's are turned on by 2 females. Pure poppycock. Celeste

firefey -> RE: confused (10/22/2006 6:50:01 PM)
ok, this question of concent or no concent on the part of the third really needs to be emphasised. if the sub/slave involved is being forced by their master to do something sexual with another person, regardless of orientation of any involved parties, and durring the process they (the sub/slave) are disgusted and follow through only out of fear of failure/punishment, that's rape. and the master in question, by not fully informing the third party of the potential feeling of the sub/slave, has orcestrated said rape. one which violated the third who most likely did not concent to raping this sub/slave. the master in question would have orchestrated the rape of their sub/slave by choosing to disregard the potential psychological impact of a forced sexual act. forced bi can be fun, so long as we remember it is edge play and all parties involved need to be able to safeword out.

KnightofMists -> RE: confused (10/22/2006 7:10:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl Well, darkdesire probably will 'listen to his shit'....since it appears she is his partner :) DG Yes, I know... It is always amuses me when the Dominant says something that is um "pure poppycock" and gets called on it and the submissive jumps in to defend them, usually in an indirect way since they usually avoid defending the shit... else they get covered with it. For myself.. I am not immune to speaking poppycock... but my girls have the forthsight to avoid jumping into the mess I made for myself.... instead they will ask to share their feelings privately to me... and they know I am a big boy and can stand up for my own words or eat them as the case maybe.

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