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Sick of PC - 10/6/2006 11:53:37 PM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		I don't mean my computer (although I firmly believe the thing has a malignant personality).

I'm sick and tired of typing, "I'm not criticising xxxxxxxx but I personally don't want to do it twice every day before breakfast..."

Let's just take it as read - we all accept that everyone else has the total right to do whatever floats their boat, within the guidelines of legality and consensuality.  But if everyone else has the right to do whatever they like, I have an equal right to say that certain things squick me out.  Totally.  In some cases, I can't even understand why anyone would want to do them.  But that's my thing, and it's my right to not like certain things, and my right to say so; it doesn't infringe on your right to do strange and perverted things with certain bodily functions, etc.

From now on, if some thread is asking an opinion I'll give it without feeling the need to qualify my ideas.  I respect you all (except for a few of the totally weird ones), I respect your rights to do whatever makes your eyes roll back in your heads, but I'm not going to keep saying it.  So print this out and stick it on your fridge, ok? 

Thank you, I've finished venting, you can all go back to whatever you were doing. 
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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 12:02:04 AM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Thought all the posts were about opinions even when posted as factual.  LOL glad that is cleared up.

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 12:08:37 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I don't consider personalizing statements to be "PCing them"  I think it's just making clarification because there ARE a heck of a lot of scene people who, when making a statement, generalize and universalize.

Better to be clear and take some extra time than be muddy.

Granted, it's always best to ask someone if they are being personal or general in their statements before assuming, but by making a quick personalizing statement to start with, you avoid any possibility of miscommunicating on your end.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 12:10:32 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		Surely a statement like "XXXX squicks me out" is going to be interpreted as a personal comment?

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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 12:12:41 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

Surely a statement like "XXXX squicks me out" is going to be interpreted as a personal comment?

True, but it's not as complete or showing a deeper understanding as "This squicks me out, but I won't prevent someone from doing it"

There ARE people in the scene who will try and stop you from doing things because THEY get squicked by it. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 12:15:58 AM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		It might be important that you define the difference between consideration and politically correct.  I mean decide what those terms mean to you.
 
Sometimes, it's not about being politically correct, it's about not belittling someone or their kink.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 12:18:03 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

Surely a statement like "XXXX squicks me out" is going to be interpreted as a personal comment?


No, but saying "XXXXX is gross" might.  The example you have used makes it about you. The example I used (and is often the way opinions are stated) makes it about anyone who does it.

I don't see being polite as necessarily being PC.  I learned a long time ago in the workforce to speak in such a way that I am understood as I wish to be understood (to the best of my ability, anyway).  If thinking about doing a particular act grosses me out, but I don't really care if someone else does it, I'm not really relaying that by telling someone "That's just gross."  Instead, the odds are rather high that I am coming across as passing judgment on all who do "that."  And that is not what I wish to relay at all.  Should my audience know better?  Maybe.  But it's my responsibility to communicate in such a way that I am understood...to the best of my ability.  Hence the phrase, "Choose your words carefully."

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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 12:26:01 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		"Except for a few of the totally weird ones"?  Either you respect everyone or you don't.  You can't have it both ways.

quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

I respect you all (except for a few of the totally weird ones), I respect your rights to do whatever makes your eyes roll back in your heads, but I'm not going to keep saying it.  So print this out and stick it on your fridge, ok?

(in reply to becca333)
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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 12:30:18 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		I'm not suggesting we stop being polite.  And, as I said, this would apply when giving personal comments only.

Can't we take it as read that everyone agrees on our rights to do whatever, and that we also have a right to express our views?  I'm just so sick of the eternal, "I respect your right do to this but...." thing.

If anyone goes on to say, "... and you're all disgusting and you should stop it."  THEN you can all flame them to bits.  But why can't we give personal comments without the eternal qualifications?  Surely we've all got it that personal comments don't imply judgement?

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 12:37:08 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

"Except for a few of the totally weird ones"?  Either you respect everyone or you don't.  You can't have it both ways.

quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

I respect you all (except for a few of the totally weird ones), I respect your rights to do whatever makes your eyes roll back in your heads, but I'm not going to keep saying it.  So print this out and stick it on your fridge, ok?



First, it was said light-heartedly.

Second, in any large group there will be people you respect a great deal (there's some wonderful people here) and at the other end of the spectrum there'll be a few you find less than congenial.  I respect everyone's right to do whatever... as stated before.  I respect the courage and wisdom of many of the posters.  I respect their humour, and their positive attitude to life. And there's a few that I don't respect - not because of their likes and dislikes, but because of their attitude to others.

There's a difference between respecting the human rights of each person, which I do, and respecting certain individuals who have shown by their attitude and behaviour that they aren't worthy of respect as people.

Darn it, I started this thread because I was tired of typing the same thing over and over, and I have an awful feeling that I'm going to end up doing just that, and more so.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 12:38:46 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Maybe you take the Collarme forums too seriously.

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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 12:43:37 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333
Darn it, I started this thread because I was tired of typing the same thing over and over, and I have an awful feeling that I'm going to end up doing just that, and more so.

~ Grins ~ This is kind of evidence that you can't just make generic or blanket statements and assume you are going to be understood without the need for clarification.  In communicating with groups of people, there will almost always be the need to clarify a point or two.  This is why I believe it is best to do so in my original comments.  Otherwise, I will just have to later, or I run the risk of people misunderstanding and not asking for clarification....and leaving with the wrong idea entirely.  People form opinions of others based on how they communicate and what they say.  Personally, I would rather be understood, or why bother posting?

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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 12:44:14 AM   
Iskander


Posts: 264
Joined: 9/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
"Except for a few of the totally weird ones"?  Either you respect everyone or you don't.  You can't have it both ways.


There are actually very few people I respect, some I have no respect for at all, and the rest I treat with respect until they show me which box they fit into...
So yes you can have it both ways...

Iskander...


(in reply to Lordandmaster)
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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 12:45:13 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		In reply to LAM:

Maybe some others do too, and don't see light humour where it's intended.

Look folks, I didn't mean to get anyone bent out of shape over this.  I surrender.  From now on, I'll qualify everything, ok?  I respect the right of all other posters not to agree with me.  I respect their right to totally miss the point.  I respect their right to do whatever they wish with whoever they wish in whatever position they wish with whatever household items they wish.  I respect their right to do anything they like, anytime, any place.  And whenever I express a personal opinion I'll use those lovely words, "I totally respect your right to do this but...."

Aaaarrrgggghhhh.

(Edited due to my total incompetence with this malignant computer.)

< Message edited by becca333 -- 10/7/2006 12:47:57 AM >

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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 12:46:26 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I don't see anyone bent out of shape.....except maybe you? 

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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 12:49:36 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		Me?  I'm not bent out of shape.  I'm the one over here banging my head against a brick wall.

*sigh*

Oh, and I totally respect your right to say that.  But.

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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 1:00:09 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

Me?  I'm not bent out of shape.  I'm the one over here banging my head against a brick wall.

*sigh*

Oh, and I totally respect your right to say that.  But.


Your head is now out of shape...smiles

Here is the thing, I am so into my kinks, perversions, and the generally sick shit that I do when I am alone with my Daddy... I just really do not care what other people do as long as they are consenting adults and they do not involve me nonconsensually in their dynamic....I do not care enough about their kinks to type out words of disagreement with it...but that is just me

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 1:04:17 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		And I totally respect that.

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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 1:05:24 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Oh I don't care what other people do, either.  But I have at times felt a little irked when someone looks at me and says, "You do WHAT???  GROSS!!!!"

Oh but that's just their opinion, of course!  Nah, I actually don't get so irked anymore.  I just typically don't share what I do - nobody's business anyway

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RE: Sick of PC - 10/7/2006 1:09:07 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Oh I don't care what other people do, either.  But I have at times felt a little irked when someone looks at me and says, "You do WHAT???  GROSS!!!!"

Oh but that's just their opinion, of course!  Nah, I actually don't get so irked anymore.  I just typically don't share what I do - nobody's business anyway


Same here, this is about the only place I talk about my sick kinks, and most of the time I am deflecting flames or arguing about politics... who has time to write about kinky shit

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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