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Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 11:41:06 AM   
Jollygreenelf


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/10/2006
Status: offline 		I just found out I have been leading a dom live with my now husband in a submissive body.  It took over 9 years to figure that out.  I meet a very mature Dom, agressive, and gentle, and he has rocked my world per say.  Now I am in the fight for my life,  should I leave my husband for my Dom?.  He knows what makes me tick,click,and whatever word to use.  It seems like a match made in heaven.  He seems like he is everything I need and more. All I have to do is say yes to my Dom.  I am just afraid to take the next step, wondering what others would think.  Like my husband per say, whom by the way doesn't make me happy anymore.  I guess I would need advice on where to begin....I am brand new to this, and in the training period with my Dom, as of what he says.  Can anyone lift my spirits up, and give me some advice on this situation.... Lost out here thanks 
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 11:48:38 AM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline 		for once
 
/zips her mouth shut and stays out of it

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to Jollygreenelf)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 11:49:56 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		you got kids?  interested in more than shopping?  Funny how alot of same day joiners come out here and ask these kinda questions, first you heard of the place?  I think not. What is your other name out here?

9 years of life with one, and in a training period with the love of your life, I cannot help but be particularly intolerant and snide....

Don't take any advice from anyone out here save this..........

You better think this through.

Ron 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Jollygreenelf)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 11:52:50 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

You better think this through.


And after that, think it through a few more times.
How long have you been training with this Dom?


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 12:05:22 PM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		The Grass is always greener.....come to my mind. You should tell us how long you've been married, children and all, in order to give you the best advice.

I myself, have been married for almost 32 years (30 Nov), and won't leave my wife for nothing. Now I did have MADAM, (Which my DEAR Wife knew about), and we had live sessions and all, but that was it. I wouldn't leave my wife for her, and would never think of intercourse with anyone other than my wife.

IS there a possibility that you can still be a sub with this Dom, without 24/7? I becae close to 3 female subs on Collar me (and would like to become friedns with even more), and they all broke up with their Doms. Now what would you do then? If I was your husband, I wouldn't and shouldn't take you back then. Being dropped like a Hot Potato.

And do  T H I N K   it all out, a few more times, and then start thinking all over again. Do let us know more of the particulars too, like does your Dom work? Would you be the Bread Winner? Does he have other subs, that ight replace you?

Very Sincery and worried, BalletBob

_____________________________

"I get my kicks above the Waistline, Sunshine"

(in reply to Jollygreenelf)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 12:16:08 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Leaving for marriage for a physical relationship always fails. You have time invested in your marriage. Think about that. All you know about your Dom is he "rocks your world".  Don't really think that is worth ruining your life, your husbands and the rest of the family. Better think it through long and hard. It is not only you that you need to think about.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 10/10/2006 12:24:49 PM >

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Jollygreenelf)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 12:21:39 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Bob!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where the fuck you been?  How you doing?  Long time no see!

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to BalletBob)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 12:23:11 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		I wouldnt leave a marriage for a particular person.  I would however consider making a change if I felt unfulfilled,  without the hope of ever having my needs met in the marriage.

Did you have these considerations before you met this dom?  Or is the thought of leaving hubby something that just started?  These are some of the questions that I would ask myself before making a move.  Divorce is not a decision that should be made over night, without lots of thought, self-examination,  and talking to your H about it. 

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 12:23:39 PM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline 		I am following Tikkieee's lead in this one and keeping my mouth shut

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 12:25:30 PM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

You have time infested in your marriage.


I am sorry sweetnurse.. I truly dont like picking on peoples spelling but this one got me giggling...

infested?? LMAO

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 12:27:21 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I know ,Freudian slip. I fixed it. I laughed myself.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 12:32:16 PM   
Jollygreenelf


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/10/2006
Status: offline 		The thing goes like this.  The Dom is very successful in what he does.  He is not hurting for money, and he is working on his Master's degree in music.  Very smart intelligent guy.  He is interested in me, progressing my career as a singer.  My husband on the other hand, yes we have kids together, but he hasn't made me happy for a year.  The story goes my husband and my reationship has been failing in my eyes for a year now, when I caught him cheating on me in our house with my bestfriend.  Of course my bestfriend of 15 years, is no longer my life, cause I decided to not be friends with her anymore .  Cause, I decided to work it out with my husband, so we went to joint couseloring and individual counseling.  That is when I found out a whole bunch about myself.  I realized that my husband isn't making me happy and hasn't been for the past year.  I don't look at him the same anymore.  I am not happy at all.  I want to be happy.  I feel the only reason why I am with him is for our kids sake.  That is the wrong reason in my eyes, and god's eyes as well....I think he and I will be much happier not together.  Doesn't anyone have advice on this..  I have been with the Dom for a couple of months,just talking and him more of long the lines helping me to sort things out.  Mutal respect is starting to develop.  The dom is willing to take it very slow, cause he wants me to be happy, and him too.... Please advice more, now that you know the whole story...

(in reply to Jollygreenelf)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 12:36:05 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

  Now I am in the fight for my life,  should I leave my husband for my Dom?. 


If you leave your husband, do it because it's for YOU, not for a dominant who 'rocks your world' today because he may not 'rock your world' tomorrow. Don't let 'lust' guide your life. Lust is just too fleeting to be your base.

THINK THINK THINK

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Jollygreenelf)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 12:41:50 PM   
SaphireLynn


Posts: 145
Joined: 2/15/2005
Status: offline 		You need to talk with someone who does not have a interest in this maybe a professional... make sure your marriage is over...you have kids to think about... How will they live with? If you divorce your husband do you think a judge will award you custody? Just think what it will do to them... now living together for the childrens sake is not good either... so it is a hard decision...just remember you may loose your family...good luck

_____________________________

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But he that dares not grasp the thorn
Should never crave the rose.
~~~Anne Bronte~~~
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

(in reply to Jollygreenelf)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 2:01:40 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		If this new man wasn't in your life, would you still want to leave your husband? Why or why not. 1000 word essay. THEN, go to a therapist to discuss the essay.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Jollygreenelf)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 2:35:33 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		The grass is always greener on the other side. People do what people will do, and I certainly cannot advise you, but leaving your spouse usually solves nothing, you just take your old problems with you into the next relationship.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Jollygreenelf)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 2:43:50 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Set your world right before you start deciding where you are going to go next.

You have obviously gone at this backwards om my perspective. It's a major reason I do not take on married submissives or slaves without the entire thing being open and above board.

Personally I would be cutting you loose, since you obviously have no problem decieving your husband based on this post.
Deception of someone you made a commitment to years ago, certainly tells me that it is quite possible I would also be decieved in the future.




(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 3:04:04 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Whatever you do. The children come first, second and third. After them, comes you.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 3:08:33 PM   
Jollygreenelf


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/10/2006
Status: offline 		I don't think I have decieved him right now!! He has deceived me, is the problem.  Our marriage in my eyes have been going down hill ever since a year ago, when he cheated on me..  Talking to the Dom whom is just a friend now, has brought who I really am out just by spending time with him as friends.  Nothing has happened between me and the Dom.  This is something that I should decide for myself.  I have had plans on leaving my husband long before I meet my Dom.      

(in reply to Jollygreenelf)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Lost and need advice!!! - 10/10/2006 3:16:05 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Could only judge from the post provided.
That said the first line still applies, set your world right first then decide where you are going from there.

Your husbands behaviour does not excuse yours, If you have been open and above board with the husband as to what you are doing then great, if you are sneaking around doing anything, then you are decieving him.

It's a harsh thing to say but I'm not shy about stating the facts.
It's not ment to be mean just open honest and straight forward without any sugar coating.
Confussion usually calls for exactly that.

(in reply to Jollygreenelf)
Profile   Post #: 20
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