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What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 12:41:57 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I am just curious to find out what rules subs/slaves feel are important in a D/s relationship. I have a sub who is very new to the experience and was a Master previously. I am establishing rules for him and he is doing very well. I had him write down what rules he felt were important for him and I was curious as to what other subs here on the forum might come up with.

Thanks!
~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”





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RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 12:49:55 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		 
I do NOT mean to be flip here...but the rules I find most important would be the rules set by my Dom/me.  I understand every single dominant might have a different set of rules h/she found most important...and those would then be most important to me.
 
bearlee

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 12:50:51 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Consent to the authority that works towards your fulfillment.

Know what authority you have consented to and uphold that commitment.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 12:52:57 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		Personally rituals have been far more important to me when I was serving then specific rules, but in the begininng a few of the rules that helped me a lot with my mindset were:

Specific dress codes that were significantly different then what I was use to.
Always waiting for him to sit before sitting myself.
Asking for permission for things like a drink or going to the bathroom.

In general though I found any rule that jostled me from normal behavior to be good ones even if they were only meant or useful in the short term.

Lin


(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 12:53:34 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I have really only one rule, listen to him when he tells me to do something or not to do something.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 1:12:11 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		My list of potential candidates for rules varies depending on how I'm feeling.  Sometimes, I just want a rule for anything and everything.  Today is one of those days.

But, realistically, I know it probably isnt good for anyone to have rules about everything and I can imagine that a potential dominant would quickly tire of regulating me all the time. (the thought makes me giggle because its sooooooo self-indulgent and self-absorbed)

So, the really important ones involve addressing the worst of my insecurities and concern use of "his" time and attention.  I feel really needy sometimes, and have always wanted some time of way of knowing if I'm being a drain.  I can imagine having set times for interaction and that sort of thing, or even a flexible ticket system, where I'm allotted so many tickets a week or something and can use them as I need them.  (Ok, I'm a freak.  I know it.)

The other thing would be how to address "him" and how to conduct myself around him.  The details aren't so important, and I'm comfortable leaving them up to a potential Dominant, but I'd like to know his desires and have some concrete guides.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 2:04:07 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Personally I find the writting down of values works much better and is of more use than writting down rules specificly.

If you write down a value then you can almost instantly come up with the rules which will reinforce the value.

Have him/her write down what traits/ values/ habits make a good submissive
Then write down your own version of the same thing.
Talk about them together and discus what values  has the most growth available, add a few rules that reinforce the value.
Then as they get used to that discuss the other values and add in the rules a few at a time.

If you don't know where you are going how can you start the trip?

(in reply to gypsygrl)
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RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 3:53:11 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have really only one rule, listen to him when he tells me to do something or not to do something.

Yep. I got the same rule. Do as your told.
 
Oh god, I can't believe I just admited that


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~~@ cass @~~

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RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 3:58:38 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee
Yep. I got the same rule. Do as your told.

Oh god, I can't believe I just admited that

LOL better be careful or people might start taking you seriously.

And that's just one step away from being told you're just a fake. :)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Tikkiee)
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RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 4:00:40 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

And that's just one step away from being told you're just a fake. :)


No, I am a figment of the imagination. That was already decided
 
/nods earnestly
 
 

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

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RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 4:21:05 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I am just curious to find out what rules subs/slaves feel are important in a D/s relationship.


There is only one rule in this house which is "Obey without hesitation."

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 6:00:11 PM   
TxBadMan


Posts: 198
Joined: 4/7/2006
From: Moody, Texas
Status: offline 		My rules are very simple.

follow orders or leave

_____________________________

Chris



(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 6:05:59 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		The rules we have are simple.
Ask permission before you do most things (blanket permission was set up for certain things ahead of time)
Call when you are expected to, and be avialable when you are expected to be
If something is going to get in the way of your availablity, inform me
If you are told to do something, do so to the best of your abilities
Be honest in your communication.

Beyond that, we dont have any rules YET... I am sure that will change once he goes 24/7

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to TxBadMan)
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RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 6:38:17 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		I, too, have the blanket general obedience statement. Any other "rules" are His preferences. He lets me know how He wants a certain task  accomplished, and I do it.
 
Also, instead of rules, I get lists. These lists will include tasks He wants accomplished and timeframes. He can micro-manage as He sees fit or He can give me general tasks. This gives Him the opportunity to take a break from inspecting compliance with an arbitrary set of rules that we made up when we had time on our hands.
 
I like His lists because they allow Him to be consistent. I know submissives who literally have hundreds of rules. Who can be expected to keep up with all of that? Definitely not me, and I tip my hat to anyone who can keep all of those rules in mind and chew gum at the same time.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 7:19:39 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		The most important rule that is set in place is "Do as I say, when I say, no stopping to question."

My favorite "rule" is to always feel free to ask anything of Him, especially if it is to clarify something.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to spanklette)
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RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 7:23:43 PM   
MASTERRocker


Posts: 277
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Kitchener-Waterloo, ON
Status: offline 		Leave the lid UP, toothpaste cap OPEN and keep beer in the fridge...................
No;.... just be yourself - communicate and be willing to learn, stretch and encounter many new things

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
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RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 7:26:20 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead
The most important rule that is set in place is "Do as I say, when I say, no stopping to question."

My favorite "rule" is to always feel free to ask anything of Him, especially if it is to clarify something.

Uhh don't those two rules contradict eachother?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 7:54:08 PM   
LASub4Real


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		Rule #1 My desire for Fantasy must not displace nor delay the needs of Reality.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 8:02:50 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead
The most important rule that is set in place is "Do as I say, when I say, no stopping to question."

My favorite "rule" is to always feel free to ask anything of Him, especially if it is to clarify something.

Uhh don't those two rules contradict eachother?


Touchez...  (Problem of mind-hand-thought-scramble... lol)

Basically, for the first one, what I meant was that I should trust Him enough to follow direction, without hesitation.

The second one being that I can always ask Him anything about things in the lifestyle, or in general, that I have questions about, and He will always be open to answer them without belittling me in the process.

(I knew what I wanted to say, but my fingers didn't cooperate with the typing process.) 


_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: What D/s rules are important to you? - 10/10/2006 9:04:43 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		The only rules I have is that I'm not allowed to forget myself in my submission, I'm not allowed to give "dominant" and "master" capital letters (yes this is a rule. He considers it a deificiation and won't allow it), not allowed to type "W/we" (he's an english major and can't stand it), and I'm not allowed to play with others without permission. I consider these to be good rules but I don't know how well they would work for anyone else.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 20
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