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His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 9:38:22 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		Ladies --  Do you prefer a gentleman or a pig on his approach to you?  In other words, would you rather him be respectful, complimentary and more interested in you as a person up front, or is him being crude, bluntly talking about pussylicking and crack worship and neanderthal-like in his manner ok (or even sexy) to you?

Guys --  How do you approach?  What do you think works or doesn't work?  Why?  For those who have secured a relationship, how did you approach and why did it work?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 9:44:36 AM   
Araven


Posts: 149
Joined: 3/16/2006
Status: offline 		I'm not really one to talk on this subject much, as I don't really have much experiance in things, but I've read the boards from time to time and think that most dommes respect a submissive approach that is sincere and gentlemanly. One that can show the submissive in a light that displays sensitity, a desire to serve, humility, intelligence, humor, and sincere. I think the best way to approach is a sincere and honest one. Tell the dominant why you chose her out of all the profiles, what attracted her to you besides the picture?One that can also show the submissive as independant, and that his gift of submission to the dominant is something truely special.

On the other hand, I can't count the number of threads I've read where dominants are upset of the typical "one-line" i lik 2 lik ur feet", or ones where they send the good ol cock-shot.

Once again, I'm pretty new to this and my search for somebody has just began, but to sum it all. I think most people would prefer a gentleman over a pig.



(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 10:12:30 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		I think the answer is in your question MisP!?

A guy who approaches with talk of his sexual fantasies is not going to go very far in convincing anyone he wants a relationship - he'll come across as someone who wants to fulfil his fantasies, and you'll do, basically, or anyone else who's willing will do too. It suggests a man who thinks all women are of a kind, and has little or no interest in them as people.

On the other hand, a guy who approaches all gentlemanly wouldnt necessarily interest me either. It would come across to me as a lack of the "charge" that would interest me.

I think ideal would be a guy who can mix the two together, without being obscene and without being boring! But then I realise not all men are of a kind either, so its difficult to say that anything in particular would work for all men? Just too many variables.

E





_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to Araven)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 10:46:40 AM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear MisPandora, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
As hard as it is finding gentlemen, I would prefer being approached by a gentleman.  You can find pigs in pens, state pens, writing with pens, living in pig pens even though it might be an apartment, townhouse and or house.  One can find pigs in the work place and at times they ham it up.  You can find pigs in leather, which at times can be interesting, they can be cute when they squeal--must be the nipple twisting or CBT though.  You can find pigs at the trough, the 'all you can eat bars' and specials night.  Pigs enjoy watching the pig skin flying from one end of the field to another.
 
But, it is indeed difficult at times to find a gentleman.
 
Respectfully submitted with a bit of wit,
Lady Hugs
 
 
 

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 10:46:47 AM   
draba


Posts: 81
Joined: 2/22/2006
Status: offline 		I think the gentleman approach is better. When appropriate, fantasies can be discussed. But when going to visit a pro-domme, discussion of fantasies should be discussed prior to meeting so the domme can better help you fulfill your fantasies. Too often guys go to a pro and are dissatisfied because the session did not go the way they had hoped. No one should ever talk to anyone like a pig. It is rude and this goes for both male and female.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 10:53:26 AM   
Legman1


Posts: 25
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		I generally take the gentlemanly approach trying to exspress some of who I am and a want  to know more about the other person. Doesn't seem to be working to me. I can't count the number of times I've received 2 line replys or ignored all together for my efforts. Course I only need 1 good and kinky woman with shared interests so I keep plugging.

(in reply to Araven)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 10:57:00 AM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

Ladies --  Do you prefer a gentleman or a pig on his approach to you?  In other words, would you rather him be respectful, complimentary and more interested in you as a person up front, or is him being crude, bluntly talking about pussylicking and crack worship and neanderthal-like in his manner ok (or even sexy) to you?

Guys --  How do you approach?  What do you think works or doesn't work?  Why?  For those who have secured a relationship, how did you approach and why did it work?


There’s definitely a very provocative / gruff side to my masculinity….so it’s fair to say while I'm definitely a well-mannered gentleman, you won’t find me drinking tea and eating finger sandwiches with the boys who have hundred dollar haircuts and silk scarfs from Hong Kong in their breast pockets. 

 As my sister said to me back in April {After she hadn’t seen me in three years} – ''You still look the same ...Your clean look would let you work on Wall Street, but with your demeanor and mannerisms, you belong on the Sopranos''




 - R


< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 10/12/2006 10:58:09 AM >

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 10:57:52 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		I prefer "respectful".. I don't' need the schmoozing complements :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 11:05:27 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I think the answer is in your question MisP!?

A guy who approaches with talk of his sexual fantasies is not going to go very far in convincing anyone he wants a relationship - he'll come across as someone who wants to fulfil his fantasies, and you'll do, basically, or anyone else who's willing will do too. It suggests a man who thinks all women are of a kind, and has little or no interest in them as people.

On the other hand, a guy who approaches all gentlemanly wouldnt necessarily interest me either. It would come across to me as a lack of the "charge" that would interest me.

I think ideal would be a guy who can mix the two together, without being obscene and without being boring! But then I realise not all men are of a kind either, so its difficult to say that anything in particular would work for all men? Just too many variables.

E

I was really hoping that someone would answer this way!  I think it's all in the way that he platforms his desires and urges so that they're more palatable.  Just putting out there "I want to lick your crack" is crass, but say, on the third, fourth or subsequent communication, him saying that he'd beg for the honor would certainly not be objectionable.  I'd just like to know his name first before he starts carrying on like that!

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 12:04:34 PM   
ToGiveDivine


Posts: 650
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I prefer "respectful".. I don't' need the schmoozing complements :)


But you have the "bestest" posts on the forum and you're just the most wonderful ...er, damn - you said "Don't need" - well crap, sorry, nevermind

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 12:06:18 PM   
ToGiveDivine


Posts: 650
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I think the answer is in your question MisP!?

A guy who approaches with talk of his sexual fantasies is not going to go very far in convincing anyone he wants a relationship - he'll come across as someone who wants to fulfil his fantasies, and you'll do, basically, or anyone else who's willing will do too. It suggests a man who thinks all women are of a kind, and has little or no interest in them as people.

On the other hand, a guy who approaches all gentlemanly wouldnt necessarily interest me either. It would come across to me as a lack of the "charge" that would interest me.

I think ideal would be a guy who can mix the two together, without being obscene and without being boring! But then I realise not all men are of a kind either, so its difficult to say that anything in particular would work for all men? Just too many variables.

E

I was really hoping that someone would answer this way!  I think it's all in the way that he platforms his desires and urges so that they're more palatable.  Just putting out there "I want to lick your crack" is crass, but say, on the third, fourth or subsequent communication, him saying that he'd beg for the honor would certainly not be objectionable.  I'd just like to know his name first before he starts carrying on like that!


Okay, mental note - 4th date is the ass crack licking date - gotta remember that for future reference ;-D

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 12:09:04 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ToGiveDivine

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I prefer "respectful".. I don't' need the schmoozing complements :)


But you have the "bestest" posts on the forum and you're just the most wonderful ...er, damn - you said "Don't need" - well crap, sorry, nevermind


baaaaaaaaaaaaaad slave.. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! LOL!
 
(sigh) oh well.. worship me if you must.. it's a curse I'll just have to live with.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to ToGiveDivine)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 12:10:47 PM   
ToGiveDivine


Posts: 650
Status: offline 		Seriously,

This is to all the women regardless of status

You are a lady until you prove yourself not to be one - with that said, the man should be a gentleman, treat you with honor and respect, be polite, and conduct himself properly in the presence of a lady.

With that said, at some point after a relationship is established, that may change upon agreement by both parties and begging, pigging, worshiping is therefore acceptable in the context of the aforementioned agreement.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 12:19:23 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I prefer someone who is honest and a human being first and foremost with the basic common sense to treat me as a human being too.

Anyone approaching me with sexual details is demonstrating that it's all about sex for him/her -- not interested.

Anyone approaching me in a submissive manner is demonstrating they believe they can submit to someone they don't know -- not very flattering but I might give them another email to make a better impression.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 12:30:53 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I think the answer is in your question MisP!?

A guy who approaches with talk of his sexual fantasies is not going to go very far in convincing anyone he wants a relationship - he'll come across as someone who wants to fulfil his fantasies, and you'll do, basically, or anyone else who's willing will do too. It suggests a man who thinks all women are of a kind, and has little or no interest in them as people.

On the other hand, a guy who approaches all gentlemanly wouldnt necessarily interest me either. It would come across to me as a lack of the "charge" that would interest me.

I think ideal would be a guy who can mix the two together, without being obscene and without being boring! But then I realise not all men are of a kind either, so its difficult to say that anything in particular would work for all men? Just too many variables.

E

I was really hoping that someone would answer this way!  I think it's all in the way that he platforms his desires and urges so that they're more palatable.  Just putting out there "I want to lick your crack" is crass, but say, on the third, fourth or subsequent communication, him saying that he'd beg for the honor would certainly not be objectionable.  I'd just like to know his name first before he starts carrying on like that!


Wow! Top marks from MisP! Thats made my day!
E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 12:43:53 PM   
ToGiveDivine


Posts: 650
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I think the answer is in your question MisP!?

A guy who approaches with talk of his sexual fantasies is not going to go very far in convincing anyone he wants a relationship - he'll come across as someone who wants to fulfil his fantasies, and you'll do, basically, or anyone else who's willing will do too. It suggests a man who thinks all women are of a kind, and has little or no interest in them as people.

On the other hand, a guy who approaches all gentlemanly wouldnt necessarily interest me either. It would come across to me as a lack of the "charge" that would interest me.

I think ideal would be a guy who can mix the two together, without being obscene and without being boring! But then I realise not all men are of a kind either, so its difficult to say that anything in particular would work for all men? Just too many variables.

E

I was really hoping that someone would answer this way!  I think it's all in the way that he platforms his desires and urges so that they're more palatable.  Just putting out there "I want to lick your crack" is crass, but say, on the third, fourth or subsequent communication, him saying that he'd beg for the honor would certainly not be objectionable.  I'd just like to know his name first before he starts carrying on like that!


Wow! Top marks from MisP! Thats made my day!
E


I don't know, maybe it's just me, but going up to someone and saying, "Hi, I'm Mike, can I lick your ass now?" just seems a bit on the forward side.  How do you know the other person is a fan of having their bum licked anyway?  Seems impetuous to me ROFL

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 12:47:13 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ToGiveDivine
I don't know, maybe it's just me, but going up to someone and saying, "Hi, I'm Mike, can I lick your ass now?" just seems a bit on the forward side.  How do you know the other person is a fan of having their bum licked anyway?  Seems impetuous to me ROFL

And now you know the true reason for me posting this topic.  It's one thing for a domina to tell one slave, "That's not the way to do it."  It's far more demonstrative when collectively, they all point to a perferred behavior.  Having consensus from their male peers helps as well.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to ToGiveDivine)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 12:54:34 PM   
ToGiveDivine


Posts: 650
Status: offline 		It's also a maturity thing - even though I'd like to lick your butt, I'm not going to start the conversation that way.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 1:35:42 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		LOL is this a trick question?  A gentleman in his approach, especially initially, will work wonders with me.  Now there are times I've seen a nice looking guy and had an obscene thought or 10 but I would not approach them with blurting it outright on the onset.  It's just poor manners.

Later on in the communication when we are more comfortable with one another then I do invite a little more...candor in his expression of what he's like to do or receive.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: His Demeanor on Approach - 10/12/2006 2:09:53 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ToGiveDivine

It's also a maturity thing - even though I'd like to lick your butt, I'm not going to start the conversation that way.

Oh no it's not love.  You'd be shocked at how many of your 50+ year old peers open up with, or worse, just drop that as their only "compliment" in their message on the other side.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to ToGiveDivine)
Profile   Post #: 20
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