Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

proactive vs reactive discipline


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> proactive vs reactive discipline Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
proactive vs reactive discipline - 4/25/2004 7:27:57 PM   
truckin2some


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/23/2004
Status: offline 		I have chosen to be proactive and use a whip on a regular basis to drum rules into my slave's rear end rather then wait for him to do something wrong and punish afterwards. This has proven to be a great way to keep him in line and eager to do the right things. He does still have a little bit of self centerdness and rebelliousness that are a bit of a challenge to rid him of. Any suggestions? He tends to be hard to handle when sexually frustrated as opposed to all that I have read saying this frustration will make him easier to control.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline - 4/25/2004 7:40:48 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		If I were your sub...it would work opposite with me. You'd end up losing a sub. Also...odds are may become submissive yourself.

I'm not judging here..just telling you how I would react to it all.

Although I am not your average person either.

(in reply to truckin2some)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline - 4/25/2004 7:49:04 PM   
MistressKiss


Posts: 295
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		What if your submissive is doing things right? Where is the motivation for him to continue good behavior? Unless he is a pain slut and this is a turn on for the submissive, you won't have a submissive for long if you just continually pound him. I often liken having a submissive to having a child that needs correction and guidance. Do you just beat a child for the hell of it, whether the child has done anything wrong or not? If you do, expect a jail sentence. And for that matter, what makes you think that your whippings are keeping him in line? Is it possible that he is a good submissive and just taking your whippings, possibly thinking that he deserves it?

HHHmmm, am wondering how you would feel receiving the same from a dominant were you the submissive.

Isn't every submissive a little hard to handle when sexually frustrated? I know I can be self-centered and rebellious at times. Have you bothered to ask him why he feels rebellious.

Funny, I'm expecting him to answer that he is getting whipped for no "good" reason. Sure, this is your perogative as the dominant. It's also his perogative to get sick and tired of the whippings.

Strange...very strange. As usual, this humble post is one of my own opinion - as a loving dominant. What is that old saying about flies with honey smeared on the submissive's body? grins




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"I assure you, Your Honor, I don't have to practice...I'm very good at them..."
(The Marquis de Sade at one of his trials for the sexual perversities he practiced)

(in reply to truckin2some)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline - 4/25/2004 7:59:27 PM   
EStrict


Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline 		I personally am with Gloria on this. That type of domination would make me rebellious, obstinate, and would kill our relationship. Even though I don't like pain, if Master is feeling sadistic, he has the right to do anything he wishes to my body. But I work HARD at not failing in his expectations of me, and if I was getting punished even though I am not failing, it would cause more distress than it would ever cause a positive factor.

I also agree with Gloria that we are not criticizing what you are choosing to do, just trying to explain that it would not be effective with everyone.

::Laughing:: and I was difficult to control because I am sexually frustrated, I would be impossible as I am always a slut craving sex at heart. Breathing turns me on. Have you tried a chastity device? Or maybe going the other route. Make him masturbate X amount of times a day. Though honestly that's something I have only seen dominants have females do effectively.

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline - 4/25/2004 8:13:58 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I have to disagree with the answers above
this is a slave NOT a sub there for if You feel
as Master that this kind of ofensive discipline
works have at it but keep in mind that repetitive
actions create commonality in any action hence
the whippings will no longer be felt with such repetition
nor have any impact after a short time gaining them
daily and this might actually be the desired end your
slave seeks from You if a pain slut. I use things like
writing sentances or tending to sum kind of chore
that does not need much training but takes time and
I give the ol igonore which is a goodie as well.

(in reply to EStrict)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline - 4/26/2004 12:07:01 AM   
EStrict


Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline
quote:

this is a slave NOT a sub


I actually gave my answer as the thoughts of a slave Dread. Because, like it or not, slaves are thinking human beings with feelings, and just because you do not think they have the *right* to have a problems with punishment, some do. As I said, Master has the right to do whatever he wishes. But, to discount my very natural, normal, human thoughts and feelings on the way he treats me could cause very normal resentment and long term issues in our relationship.

After all, our relationship is one that is based in open communication and mutual love and respect (though of course the love was something that came in time). Perhaps Master is just unusual in his caring for the feelings of his property, but I am thankful he does.

< Message edited by EStrict -- 4/26/2004 12:08:29 AM >

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) - 4/26/2004 2:28:04 AM   
truckin2some


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/23/2004
Status: offline 		It may help for me to relate more about us. We are both new in exploring bdsm, although it's been a secret wish of mine for a Very long time. When I approached my wife with it after 3 years of marriage, she was open and understanding, and was receptive to the idea, as I had suspected and hoped dearly that she would. I might be a "pain slut", as well as being a submissive, because at first I would deliberately do things in order for her to punish me. She did'nt like that, and her viewpoint was that it was counterproductive, because number 1 I was disobeying, and number 2 it was forcing her to have to discipline me when she was in a bad mood over my disobedience. She came up with a chart system, with a number of different categories. Every day I am graded on things like my attitude, obedience, attentiveness, etc. Most areas I do well on, but there are always some that can be improved. Mistress gives me a lecture on what I fell short on, as well as praise for what I did right. And then she usually puts me in restraints and gives me some corporal punishment as she continues to lecture me. For her this allows her to remain happy as opposed to being pissed off over my deliberate disobedience. For me it gives me the discipline I crave, and the whippings have been getting more intense, so that my bottom is actually sore for a day or so. It is getting to the point that I may soon actually want to avoid the spankings. There has not yet been any heavy training, or breaking, of me, although that may come in the near future. Light bondage and whippings have been the extent so far. It is my wish and goal to be fully trained as her slave, and I do still have some self-centeredness and a little rebellion too. I catch my mouth overloading my ass sometimes. That has to be corrected, and we both know it. She wants complete control, and 100 percent obedience. In most areas she already has it, but there is a long way to go. Does this help to shed any light on our situation?

(in reply to truckin2some)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) - 4/26/2004 3:48:25 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Our definitions of what a slave is are very different estrict
slavery even consensual for the politically correct version of
words is still a person whom gives up ALL rights and becomes
a posession. It is not Me alone whom thinks the way I do and
My ways of thought have been given to Me by My parents within
the Lifestyle of Alternates. the point here is that as a slave it is
no longer your * right to think to feel or to have a problem with
anything as that is for your Owner to determine not you. the second
issue I see is that slaves dont have relationships and this is a wrong
thought to Me on your part. slaves serve in total absolution and do not
have in most cases even love with in the structure of servitude as slave.
In many cases what I see in M/s relations is a adoration factor. Of course
I also look at your relationship with your Master based off of what your words are here as a D/s relation ship and not a M/s one. you cannot take the definition of what slavery and being a slave is and water it down or twist it around or bend it to suit what your needs or wants are or so what you and your Master do then fit into the words meanings. you have to conform to it instead and if you do not live and think and act with in the very definition of what slavery and being a slave is then you are not a slave but a submissive and this is how I look at you and your relationship and yes this is My opinion based off of what I read in your words and your opinions against My opinions and understanding of what slavery and slaves are to Me. I have more then one slave. I am not *inlove with any of My posessions but then again I have never been a materialistic person either however I care for, enjoy and protect them and keep them in their place. I do have several long term slaves that I can say that I love deeply however again I am not *Inlove with any.

(in reply to truckin2some)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) - 4/26/2004 4:01:48 AM   
inyouagain


Posts: 418
Joined: 1/6/2004
Status: offline 		There you have it... don't discipline a "pain slut" with pain. Perhaps doing chores as Dread mentioned will be less to his liking? I've seen it mentioned on the board for a slave to lick the toilet bowl clean, but then some may crave that. How about a 25 page single line spaced essay on the "Disadvantages of Rebellion and Self-Centeredness within a submissive"? After a few essays with shorter suspense dates, and you see no improvement, you might try the ginger root plug method of punishment?

Inyouagain

_____________________________

Careful with that axe, Eugene

(in reply to truckin2some)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) - 4/26/2004 4:06:49 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		hey even I love the gingerroot plug so I know that cant be a punishment!! LOL

(in reply to inyouagain)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) - 4/26/2004 4:44:33 AM   
myst


Posts: 12
Joined: 3/30/2004
Status: offline 		May i ask what the gingerroot plug is or do i not wish to know?

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) - 4/26/2004 8:28:37 AM   
inyouagain


Posts: 418
Joined: 1/6/2004
Status: offline 		When dealing with self-centeredness, rebellion, arrogance, etc by whipping, a Dominant may make a whipping a much more memorable punishment. Taking the sub/slave shopping at the grocery store fresh veggies section to obtain a large piece of ginger root, or maybe two if the behavior may need further punishment (see * below).

The sub/slave should be made to clean and carve a plug sized piece of ginger root with a groove near it's tip. Prior to the next whipping (whether bound, or unrestrained and ordered to remain palms down and still), the Dominant inserts the prepared ginger root plug into the sub/slaves anus until it grasps the root by it's groove. After a minute or so, the ginger plug starts heating up the bad behaved sub/slave's ass... getting hot so they can't hold their ass cheeks clinched as they are being whipped, and are ready to be punished for displaying such bad behavior towards the one who guides them.

The ginger root technique is quite effective, temporary and considered harmless. Plug removal time is solely at the discretion of the Dominant... bad behaviors may cause it to be worn longer than the whipping session?

At any rate, the ginger root plug will be well remembered for it's effects both during the whipping session, and for it's lingering heat afterwards.

* If a second piece of ginger root was purchased and onhand, you can bet the sub/slave will be aware of it's proximity.

Inyouagain

_____________________________

Careful with that axe, Eugene

(in reply to myst)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) - 4/26/2004 8:35:20 AM   
inyouagain


Posts: 418
Joined: 1/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD
hey even I love the gingerroot plug so I know that cant be a punishment!! LOL

It's usually quite effective as a punishment enhancer, as described above. However, a sadistic perverted Dominant can easily find many other uses, even as a toy. Speak of the devil, hehe!

Inyouagain

_____________________________

Careful with that axe, Eugene

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) - 4/26/2004 12:02:36 PM   
truckin2some


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/23/2004
Status: offline 		When I was just using punishment to correct a problem I was being reactive and in fact letting my sub control when he was punished. He was acting up all the time just to get the strap. Now that I have taken control of the situation he knows that he doesn't have to act up to get the spanking he wants and needs.
Not only that, but he wanted me to TAKE control not just sit back while he handed it over to me.
I am not planning on life going this way forever (getting whipped on a regular basis) but for now this is making life better for both of us. He knows that I really love him and want what is best for US.

(in reply to inyouagain)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) - 4/26/2004 1:47:27 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: inyouagain

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD
hey even I love the gingerroot plug so I know that cant be a punishment!! LOL

It's usually quite effective as a punishment enhancer, as described above. However, a sadistic perverted Dominant can easily find many other uses, even as a toy. Speak of the devil, hehe!

Inyouagain
:


Please NOT another idea for Master, He's still working on what to do to me for my treatment of MistressDread.

< Message edited by proudsub -- 4/26/2004 1:48:56 PM >

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to inyouagain)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) - 4/29/2004 11:43:52 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

What if your submissive is doing things right? Where is the motivation for him to continue good behavior? Unless he is a pain slut and this is a turn on for the submissive,


My first submissive was a pain slut who would engage in obnoxious behaviors in order to get punished by her Dominant. This was a function of her early training from somebody else.

It did not work with me (and we did not work for long) because I follow the cardinal rule of ignoring any behavior I dont want to see repeated. She would act up, I would ignore it, she would not get what she wanted (floggings, sex, etc) She was never able to figure out that acting nice was the way to my Top side.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) - 4/29/2004 11:44:43 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		I guess my point in the last message really deals a lot with my personality; the last thing I want to do to somebody who angers me is have sex with them or beat them silly.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) - 4/29/2004 2:04:30 PM   
Katmistress


Posts: 33
Joined: 4/27/2004
Status: offline 		I have read all the postings in this string and find the input from others to be most helpful. This is the reason we come to this site.
Unfortunately what works well for someone doesn't always work for someone else but I think that the advice here is given from the heart.
The funny part it really is the "unless" parts of the reply that seem to be the most interesting....heh....
Ignoring something may help some "unless" the behavior is to get attention in which case it may continue to get worse until there is good reason to stop.
True, you don't want to have sex with someone when you are angry - but that is where a good old fashioned spanking would come in handy BEFORE you become angry. Stop the bad behavior before it starts and you have no reason to lose your cool...eh? Kind of like just nipping it in the bud.
Just a thought....

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) - 4/29/2004 6:08:08 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		The flip side of ignoring any behavior one doesnt want to see repeated is to praise and reward each and every behavior one does want to see.

I also take the approach of discussing with my submissive what behaviors I do want to see and us approximation as a training method.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Katmistress)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) - 7/10/2010 8:57:39 AM   
txurinal


Posts: 209
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		This slave's MASTER had the same outlook. HE felt it was good to discipline HIS slave frequently. Discipline was administered on a regular basis and this slave (and MASTER) did not view this as punishment. HE felt regular whippings were good for a slave.

At the risk of sounding boastful, this slave did not require punishment often. When it was punished, that usually consisted of having something taken away or having to do something that would focus the slave on the infraction for which it was being punished. It was extremely rare that whipping would be used as a part of the punishment

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> proactive vs reactive discipline Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.063