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the real thing - 10/14/2006 1:23:04 PM   
Firebirdseeking


Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		I am new to this.  Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange.  Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response.  Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? 
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: the real thing - 10/14/2006 1:40:57 PM   
sassey942


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Yes unfortunately most of the users on this site are looking for instant gratification and lack the emotional maturity to be more than simple bullys in their "relationship" with others.  Alt lifestyle is merely a convenient vehicle.
Having said that there is also a very small, hard to find minority that do infact know who they are and what they seek.  Nevr give up your quest.  Who you seek is out there.  all things come to those that seek

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: the real thing - 10/14/2006 2:02:15 PM   
syreena


Posts: 36
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Although i’m not a Master, i can tell you that unfortunately there are those who think that because you have posted submissive/slave on your profile that you will just “bow down to them” because they say that they are Dominate/Top/Master (etc).   If you feel comfortable answering their questions do so; if not a polite response back such as Sir/Ma’am at this time i don’t feel comfortable answering the questions You have presented or something to that degree.  Anyone that “orders” you to do something that you have not given consent to doesn’t understand the power exchange relationship.  The other thing you can do is not respond at all.  Remember this is your journey; take it slow and at a pace that is building up of the relationship that will help fulfill B/both journeys.  Building a power exchange relationship takes time, trust and communication and is not something that “just happens” over minutes on the internet.  Ultimately, you are responsible for presenting yourself to the Dominate that you choose to submit to in a complete and whole manner so that you can be fulfilled by the power exchange.  

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: the real thing - 10/14/2006 2:32:31 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		It is typical for many who think they are lifestyle individuals who truly have no interest in forming a relationship.  Who are looking for wanker material on the net, who have no interest in ever meeting you or if they do want to meet you its only to have real sex and perhaps spank or play with you with a couple of toys they have purchased at a pet store or a kinky adult store on the local strip plaza.

No mater what you should do what you feel is right, you do not have to divulge information you do not want to, you do not have to do anything you dont want to.  You have rights, you are free to simply click the ignore button and say ciao.

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: the real thing - 10/14/2006 2:46:04 PM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I am new to this.  Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange.  Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response.  Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? 

No, it's not 'typical' though you will find some who do use this approach.

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: the real thing - 10/14/2006 3:14:34 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I am new to this.  Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange.  Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response.  Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? 

Hi and welcome to the Forums.
 
It is typical of too many wankers in this lifestyle, but never acceptable!
 
And you've perfectly demonstated what I most commonly advise those without lifestyle experience to do - trust your instincts!  You don't need experience to know when something doesn't sound or feel right to you.
 
You obviously have general "life experience", presumably in vanilla relationships, and it is something you can definitely utilise in this lifestyle.  While we do many things differently here, basic respect and good manners from strangers is not one of them!
 
Anytime you're not sure if a stranger's questions or actions are appropriate, ask yourself what you'd accept from the lifestyle you came from.  And when they get pissed and accuse you of not being submissive or "real" etc, ignore/block/delete etc their sorry arse and stick with those who do respect you as an adult and individual.
 
Kudo's to you for coming and asking!
 
Focus.

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: the real thing - 10/14/2006 6:53:25 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		They're male and interested in sex. They may also assume that having found you on a sex site, you will be okay with this. Tell them you aren't comfortable in discussing sex until after you've established a relationship. The good ones will understand and the others you won't have to deal with.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: the real thing - 10/14/2006 6:57:59 PM   
DaddyMatthew


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I am new to this.  Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange.  Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response.  Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? 


Typical of people in the lifestyle, no.

Typical of people looking for a fantasy based roll in the hay, yes.

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: the real thing - 10/14/2006 7:07:17 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I am new to this.  Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange.  Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response.  Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? 


You are troll food.

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: the real thing - 10/14/2006 7:20:15 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I am new to this.  Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange.  Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response.  Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? 


Unless you consent to a dynamic with them and have submitted to them, you are under no obligation to answer questions like that or obey any orders. It's not their business nor is it their place to ask them or attempt to order you. That's presuming a non existant dynamic. Just because you are a sub/slave doesn't make you THEIR sub/slave.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: the real thing - 10/14/2006 8:03:20 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		If they have been asking with initial messages and/or in a first few then they are most probably cyber players and can be ignored. Obviously, this life does bring up subjects that can be quite personal in nature but the famous quote about obscene comes into mind,  something like "I do not know how to describe it but I will know it when I see it". If it does not feel right to you then it is not right for you.

Trust your instincts.

< Message edited by toservez -- 10/14/2006 8:04:13 PM >

(in reply to SweetSarijane)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: the real thing - 10/14/2006 8:22:05 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? 

this is typical only of guys who are typing while jerking off


grrr typo edit


< Message edited by happypervert -- 10/14/2006 8:23:12 PM >

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: the real thing - 10/14/2006 8:43:36 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I am new to this.  Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange.  Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response.  Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? 


You are troll food.


((giggles)) ok it sounds really funny but Aileen you are totaly right

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 10/14/2006 8:44:16 PM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: the real thing - 10/14/2006 9:49:33 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		For what others consider to be the "Real Thing" may not be what's real for you. Just go with your GUT.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: the real thing - 10/14/2006 10:16:30 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:



You are troll food.


Ok, this is priceless. Aileen, you need to trademark this one quick!

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: the real thing - 10/15/2006 1:35:23 AM   
shadevarr


Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline 		If you list your kinks out well in your profile then the initial conversation bits really should not be sexual in any fashion. Sometimes in chat it can just go that way as the conversation develops.  My rule on initial internet conversations is "Keep it clubby". Simply put, if it is inappropriate to bring up to someone you just met in a club, then it also applies to the 'net. Everyone here is a real person, treat them as such. Their feelings do get hurt rather easily.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: the real thing - 10/16/2006 5:28:20 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Yes typical and that is why so many find themselves blocked and later complaining because they can not find a sub.  Also those are the ones that hate being told i don't have to do that since we are not in a relationship of that level yet and not likely to get there.

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to shadevarr)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: the real thing - 10/16/2006 8:03:45 PM   
jimbo747


Posts: 109
Joined: 10/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Owned1

It is typical for many who think they are lifestyle individuals who truly have no interest in forming a relationship. 

So what!  Not everyone wants to form a relationship.  Some want to play then go home and be conventional. 
 
..... and perhaps spank or play with you with a couple of toys they have purchased at a pet store or a kinky adult store on the local strip plaza.

Again, so what!  Who are you to judge what is a right or wrong way to play in this lifestyle.  And who they heck are you to judge those people who play on that level?  Please.  Give me a break. 


(in reply to Owned1)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: the real thing - 10/16/2006 8:39:09 PM   
SirStephan55


Posts: 69
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		I do sometimes permit my slave to engage in online play and follow online directions, but only once we have established a rapor with the person.

(in reply to jimbo747)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: the real thing - 10/16/2006 9:46:01 PM   
ChaOz


Posts: 98
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		Hey, I like your profile but its nuts that you said your not willing to be micromanaged, it makes it appear that your not willing to change for a Dom. You have no idea how your Dom will want you to be, so you goto be willing to be a blank canvas and held by the hand like a child given instruction until your training is complete. Its just part of the submission process. I have made requests of a personal nature online, and I dont care if they say no, just testing the waters to see how submissive someone is. Overall you seem rather dominant and dont worry, respect comes naturally with the right person, you dont need to demand it.

(in reply to SirStephan55)
Profile   Post #: 20
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