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RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 8:30:54 PM   
MisstressTina


Posts: 7
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		I like Mistress Tina

(in reply to HouseofBear)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 9:13:38 PM   
dsamethyst


Posts: 91
Joined: 9/20/2004
Status: offline 		well....In my day of doing the topping, I used the term Miss.

I had a former hubby that had a "mistress"
I had a granny that we called "ma'am"
I have a God  and well I cant think of ever calling anyone Goddess...in my opinion there is one god and well he isnt a gum snapping, whip shooting, bleached blonde in fishnet stockings, and would never ever ever call anyne goddess regardless of what they wished! 

I have alwasy looked at lady being an acceptable option

What i would like to know is what are the different titles for me??

i have heard Sir, Master, I have always used the term "Mr and then the loving term we came up with betweent he two of us"  and then againthere is the every present "Daddy"

do men get as hung up on titles as women do??

_____________________________

people will forget what you said
they will forgive what you did
but they will never forget the way you made them feel

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 9:23:08 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I dislike being CALLED Mistress, though being refered to as Mistress isnt too horrible.  Angel calls me Goddess, and Maam.  He tends to use my real name most of the time, which I have no problem with.  Its actually an indicator of how submissive he is feeling any given day by what he calls me.
There is nothing quite like a souther boy saying "Yes Maam" *purr*
I have also answered to Ms. DV , Vampire, and Madam Vampire (far too formal for most occasions, but nice at the clubs)

My 2 cents
DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to HouseofBear)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/19/2006 1:08:07 AM   
ChaOz


Posts: 98
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		Well, I wouldnt ask anyone to address me by any title unless they agreed to be my sub/slave at which point I'd explain what I like and I do have different names for different situations. I dont think its your fault if you didnt know how to address her, unless she had previously explained.You are not a mind reader.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/19/2006 2:45:26 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings
 
i prefer to be called by my given name until i know you well , calling me ma'am to soon makes some very shy so my name is best as i do with my submissive i meet i want their friendship and trust first then we work on what i want from them i hope that helps but some want to be call ma'am it not saying they own you but it has the respect part in it
 
mons

(in reply to masochistboy)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/19/2006 6:55:04 AM   
masochistboy


Posts: 24
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Melbourne
Status: offline 		Well, as i did mention in my first post, i did ask Her twice how to address Her but She just wouldn't answer. In-fact, it was one of the first things i asked. i didn't feel like i had done anything wrong and if anything, She was rather rude to me. When i was chatting with Her, i could tell She didn't bother reading my profile or couldn't translate it because it clearly states that i am Asian...i thought She had no problem with this. It's after about 15mins that She asks me what race i am and when i tell Her, She replies with, "that's going to be a problem".....if it's going to be a problem, why bother talking to me in the first place?

Judging from the many responses given in this thread, it seems there is no generic addressing method to use. It's always best to ask first. i hope no-one else runs into this kind of trouble. Thank-Y/you A/all for Y/your responses =) it's grately appreciated =)

(in reply to mons)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/19/2006 7:05:25 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masochistboy

Well, as i did mention in my first post, i did ask Her twice how to address Her but She just wouldn't answer. In-fact, it was one of the first things i asked. i didn't feel like i had done anything wrong and if anything, She was rather rude to me.

And there you have your whole big answer -- right there in your own words. 

She was an ass.  You had every right there and then to say, "Yanno Lady Whomever You Think You Are, I'm afraid we're just not suited for one another.  I can't say that I wish to waste any more of yours or my time in this.....arrangement.  I wish you well."

And be done with it.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to masochistboy)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/19/2006 7:10:00 AM   
MzTlaz


Posts: 140
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline 		I enjoy being called "MzTlaz" or the full form "Mz Tlazolteotl"....it's amusing to hear people screw up the pronunciation :)  

Most call me "Misha" or "Mikki" which are both derivitives of the name on my birth certificate which I never use.

(in reply to MisstressTina)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/21/2006 2:44:04 AM   
FourInchHeels


Posts: 32
Joined: 7/6/2006
Status: offline 		I don't like the term "Mistress", preferring "Ma'am".

Always remember, masochistboy, just because someone calls themself a "Dominant", doesn't mean they don't have to use common courtesy or manners when interacting with someone who calls themself "submissive".

_____________________________

Do you like that, baby?

(in reply to MzTlaz)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/21/2006 7:23:52 AM   
jthorne


Posts: 99
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		You MAY call me Ma'am if you like to be respectful right off. Otherwise, you may just call me Julia, as I say in my profile. Miss Julia sounds cutesy, but if you can swing that, go ahead.

I find the tone more important than the title. Speak/type respectfully, and ask if the domme prefers a title after your initial exchange. I think that is the best way.

(in reply to masochistboy)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/21/2006 10:46:17 AM   
MadameMarque


Posts: 1128
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline 		Quote:

“Well, as i did mention in my first post, i did ask Her twice how to address Her but She just wouldn't answer. In-fact, it was one of the first things i asked. i didn't feel like i had done anything wrong and if anything, She was rather rude to me. When i was chatting with Her, i could tell She didn't bother reading my profile or couldn't translate it because it clearly states that i am Asian...i thought She had no problem with this. It's after about 15 mins that She asks me what race i am and when i tell Her, She replies with, "that's going to be a problem".....”

 
Yes, and we can see what the problem is, too.
 
Wait, let me finish that thought - she, speaking to you: “…that’s going to be a problem, as one of my crude upbringing is, sadly, unworthy to take power over one of your superior culture and social acumen.”   What?  That’s not what she said? 
 
(It's what she should have said, apparently.)
 
Once I’ve started talking with a submissive or slave, I often give them a choice of “Miss,” “Madame,” or “Ma’am.” This is because all of these can be pleasing to me.  It’s more in the person speaking, and their feeling in saying it.  One form of address may be more natural on the tongue, than another, for an individual, especially since I often speak to people whose first language is not English.
 
I have even let one young man of short acquaintance call me, “my [his] Mistress,” – I know, how bad! – because he was just so adorable when he did it.
 
Speaking of adorable…
 
Tell us, now, [masochist] boy, before the schoolyard bullies tie you to the jungle gym, how do you prefer to be addressed?
 
~~~~~

You're always coursing through all of my body, nearly overflowing
That's why I'm not afraid of tomorrow
Because I always feel you in me.

As the good of you flows down my parched throat,
it moistens my heart

- excerpted from "Season's Call," lyrics by hyde, theme to "Blood+"
 
Translation of some Japanese lines, from www.megchan.com
 

(in reply to masochistboy)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/21/2006 8:25:17 PM   
LJayne


Posts: 35
Joined: 12/6/2005
Status: offline 		Well, I'll jump in here!  Firstly masochistboy, I see no problem with you being Asian, but then I'm in China and have found some delightful Chinaboys to toy with <grins>.   I see a possible problem with your age, but again it's maturity that counts so I'd be talking with you for a long time before deciding to take it a stage further.

Now, as to how I prefer to be addressed.  I dislike "Mistress".  I dislike "Ma'am"  because it always to me sounds like "mum".   But, for me, once I have a slave under my wing, "M'Lady" works.  Prior to that...my normal name.  And my normal name or Chinese name, which I love, when out and about in mixed society.   I also like to be called by my initials, L.J. 

Having said that, when socialising with other Dommes, we say "Mistress" to each other...and it seems perfectly okay, as would our given names...although I do not know the given names of all my Domme friends! 

My two penn'orth.
LJ

(in reply to masochistboy)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/22/2006 7:41:53 AM   
RealmOfSenses


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline 		Masochistboy I think i know the Mistress (as she prefers to be called) that you speak of. I too had sent her a extremely polite hello message not going in too strong in any direction. Merely asking permission to talk and befriend her with a brief background of myself. I was greeted with an extremely blunt and rude reply going ape shit at me for not talking to her as if i was collared by her already. I don't about most people here, but before i will submit i expect some form of friendship/relationship first. Any self respecting sub who isn't looking to have a wank should be looking for a Goddess/Ma'am/Lady he can look up to and respect. Why would i choose to submit to an ignorant rude lady who has done nothing to earn my praise but insult me. In anycase there seems to be alot of awesome Ladies on this site and you shouldn't let a few bad seeds spoil this place for you. :)

< Message edited by RealmOfSenses -- 10/22/2006 7:42:40 AM >

(in reply to LJayne)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/22/2006 8:06:59 AM   
LeeMN


Posts: 11
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline 		Personally, I prefer to be addressed as Lee.  That's my name.

If someone feels that they are somehow being disrespectful to me by addressing me by name, I have no problem if someone addresses me as Ms. Lee, or Ma'am.

I am one of those quirky Dommes that does not prefer to be addressed as Mistress unless I have a collar on the neck of the person addressing me.  I also state that very explicitly in my profile here, and elsewhere.  (I consider the title Mistress to be a title of Ownership, along with its rights and responsibilities--so I don't take it lightly.)  When I get an email from someone addressing me as "Mistress", its proof to me that they didnt bother to read my profile... and accordingly I give them the consideration they are due.

When in doubt, ask.  If they dont reply, move on.

Regards,
Lee

(in reply to masochistboy)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/22/2006 8:10:13 AM   
sugarcoatedscamp


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/5/2006
From: Fort Wayne, IN
Status: offline 		I've yet to read the replies to this thread, so if anything I say has been said previous to my response, it must bear repeating. *wink*

I personally prefer Miss Stephanie.  I don't like being called Mistress by those who are not mine, as you mentioned is the case with some others you've spoken to.  Sir or Ma'am are terms used in polite conversation.  (Anyone remember the days of polite conversation?)  You can't go wrong with them.  They are a show of respect in any situation, Lifestyle and vanilla alike.  Other than that, I'd suggest asking at the beginning of a first conversation how that particular person would like to be addressed.  The easiest way to know what someone wants is to ask them, after all.

< Message edited by sugarcoatedscamp -- 10/22/2006 8:26:51 AM >

_____________________________

Consent means never having to say, "I'm sorry."
If beating you is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
I got an A+ in online bdsm.
You can call me Master now!

(in reply to masochistboy)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/22/2006 8:27:47 AM   
MsFirerose


Posts: 11
Joined: 9/20/2006
Status: offline 		I actually like a transition of responses.  In my first correspondence with a sub I let them know that I prefer Ma'am or Madame.  This is extremely formal for our initial emails back and forth.  If this person turns out to be a quality sub and we are progressing to the phone call stage I will allow, Miss or Ms. Firerose.  Only a collared sub may address me as Mistress.  This is a relationship format that has been extended to the sub/slave and entered into by that sub of their own free will, but with it are responsibilities that are acknowledged every time the sub refers to me as Mistress. It is a reminder of the duties and responsibilities of each party in this special relationship.

(in reply to MisstressTina)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/23/2006 1:26:43 AM   
AmazonInk


Posts: 15
Joined: 3/24/2006
Status: offline 		To echo what has been offered by many, simply ask.  OP, you did the right thing, and the woman you spoke to was simply ignorant, or just plain rude.

Personally, I prefer Ms. (mizz) as a generic term, as one would respectfully address a teacher.  I cannot abide being referred to, or addressed as, Mistress by any I have not invited to do so.  How presumptious! 

In scene, and at events, I am always Ms. Stick.  Only other Dommes (note: of the female variety) who are also friends, or at least close aquaintances, may refer to me by my actual name in such situations.

_____________________________

~ Otherwise known as Ms. Stick ~

Beir Bua!

(in reply to MsFirerose)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/23/2006 11:06:11 PM   
MistressLadyMuse


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/12/2006
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		As others have said it does vary, some expect some form of address where other do not

I do not like a sub/slave calling me Mistress less they are mine or their owner/partner tells them that is what they have to use.

My preferance is Ma'am since its not necessarly lifestyle based .. as in I call any female in authority inthe work world I don't know Ma'am unless told to call them otherwise .. its just to me common sence and porotocal when you don't know that person or how to address them to start with (at times better safe then sorry).



_____________________________

Lady Muse
http://misladymuse.livejournal.com
http://ladymuse.wordpress.com

(in reply to masochistboy)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/30/2006 7:27:53 PM   
sjacket


Posts: 152
Joined: 1/4/2004
Status: offline 		I always found it best to just ask  her preference.

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Have you hugged your Sadist today?

(in reply to masochistboy)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/30/2006 8:47:27 PM   
LadyKmtl


Posts: 39
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline 		I agree with a certain concensus that it's so specific to each Domme...Personally, I like using my screen name and if ever I decide to collar someone then, and only then will I accept to be refered to as Mistress

(in reply to sjacket)
Profile   Post #: 60
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