RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed?

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RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/30/2006 9:09:30 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: masochistboy

ok...basically i wasted a good 30-40mins talking to a 'Domme' who couldn't speak very good english and lives in Australia. She lost it with me because i didn't refer to Her as 'Mistress <screen name>' - i only addressed Her by Her screen name because i've had Dommes go nuts at me for adding 'Mistress' to Their name when i'm not owned by Them. And i've also been yelled at for not adding Ma'am/Mistress etc...
However, i did ask twice how to address Her but again, the communication barrier was proving a big problem.
my question is, how do You like to be addressed as by Your sub/slave or a sub/slave You've never met?
Do You prefer:
-Ma'am,
-Mistress,
-Miss,
-Miss <Name>,
-Mistress <Name>, or
-<Name>

What would be the best to use to make a good impression? i mean, honestly, i really have no idea now =\
Thank-You =)

I've found a simple solution to this problem. Whenever I start talking with a Domina, one of the first things I ask her is, "Is there any way you prefer to be addressed? And any way you DON'T want to be addressed?"

(in reply to masochistboy)

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RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/30/2006 10:19:57 PM

Mikal

Posts: 3673
Status: offline

Just don't call me Late for Dinner...

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RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/30/2006 10:26:51 PM

LadyOunce

Posts: 126
Joined: 10/18/2006
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This is and always will be a truly personal thing for every dominant. Sadly, some just take themselves, their lifestyle ideas, too seriously and assume that everyone will know what it is that flips their switch.

Ma'am should be a relatively safe bet and, if not, count your blessings that you're finding out now in the early moments of a would be relationship rather than down the world when she flips out on you for not knowing she prefers Mountain Breeze fabric softner over baby soft - no matter that you've never used them in her household before.

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RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 11/1/2006 6:12:05 AM

LaraVictore

Posts: 41
Joined: 7/23/2006
From: http://www.laravictore.com
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Screen name only? Ouch! A barrier is truly a nice strong bridge where you have the will to serve. How do you plan on communicating about D/s serious business , if you personally can not even break this simple protocol question to her and accept her answer and reaction with tender humility? My own slave, from times to times, takes out of his memory box My Mistress extravaganza's for us to laugh or cherish the wonderful secret part of our love story...One thing My slave will confirm is this: he experiences everything in life now with more beauty, intensity and possibilities just because he belongs to Me, a Mistress who speaks other languages (than English) backed up also with centuries of culture and history.
You see, it would not hurt Me Mistress and Dominatrix to be only contacted by the one who already likes Me or see My je ne sais quoi D factor. This is, probably, My main yardstick :). If you visibly don't like Me a lot or can't stand My reaction or rules, why even bother? I am not a sentimental freak, I am just only turned on by the feeling of connection, and this is possible with just "yes" and "no", to start with. Amazingly, a great connection in the D scene comes from knowing who you really are in real life and the way you go from just a man to My slave, but this is a personal thing.
After reading your post, I checked the first mails (from collar!!!) I got from the one who may share My life today. More than once, he has used the wrong title in the beginning, allthough he knew the content of My site better than Myself. I noticed only that he was a keeper! What about the 5 hours phone calls a day connecting us from Europe to Los Angeles? Well, he always had the right submitting and caring intonation and attitude. You see, once you find the rare one anywhere, you got to leave out your ego and surrender to it with grace. And collarme is a great place, as long as you focus only on the ones who give you a good feeling. Yes, think about being real or moving on, even if your future ex-Mistress side of the story is : "The problem is not the language barrier..". One of the favorite saying I am practising this whole last year is: "attitude determines altitude".
http://www.laravictore.com
Dame Lara

_____________________________

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"I revealed Your character & Your very Self, & I will continue to make [You] known, that the love which You have bestowed upon Me may be in them & that I may be in them. By Master King J.C. John17,26

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RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 11/1/2006 7:53:27 AM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
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I normally read the persons profile first and see what it say's in there. As often if they demand to be called Mistress or some other term I usully don't bother even emailing.

They know what they are, They know what I am. Saying its respectful and is a sign of how the sub is going to be is laughable as many of the people who are just after some fun times have no problems using the terms.

I usually write hello how are you etc etc. ( Before anyone says it, I don't care I have not found someone. If I did i'd create a new profile )

I do call some Domme's Mistress and such but that is far and in between.

If in doubt use the persons full nic... They will usually respond with . call me this etc etc.

(in reply to HouseofBear)

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RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 11/1/2006 11:01:38 AM

LaraVictore

Posts: 41
Joined: 7/23/2006
From: http://www.laravictore.com
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Thank you for seeing that ego has nothing to do with power.
http://www.laravictore.com
Lara Victore

_____________________________

Nothing is sexier than a praying man:
"I revealed Your character & Your very Self, & I will continue to make [You] known, that the love which You have bestowed upon Me may be in them & that I may be in them. By Master King J.C. John17,26

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