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RE: Anal shy - 10/21/2006 10:00:39 PM

shadevarr

Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline

One of the first things I do when introducing someone to it is while going down on her, massage her A spot through her pussy. It can be stimulated quite effectively and the orgasms are something must different from what they are used to. I then explain to them what I did and that is how good anal sex can feel. After that, it is pretty much as Crappy described. One note, there are some girls out there who are quite masochistic and beg for it without lube, until they bleed. I am lucky to have such a slave in my service.

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 21

RE: Anal shy - 10/21/2006 10:03:42 PM

LadySeraphina

Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline

There are also some women who have very few pleasure nerves on the rear vaginal wall, and experience very little physical pleasure. In some cases they can still enjoy the mental and submissive aspects, but not all women can orgasm via anal sex. Just so you know.

As to regularly bleeding from anal sex, a little occassional bleeding isn't a big deal, but a lot, frequently leaves you open to bacterial infection. Not to say 'don't', just make an informed decision.

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to shadevarr)

Post #: 22

RE: Anal shy - 10/22/2006 2:11:42 PM

darksdesire

Posts: 326
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

anal is hard for me. My whole body wants to get rid of this invasion, even though my mind wants to have it in me.t. It's the entering that freaks me out...doesn't matter what size...put something up there and my body fights it. The few times He's managed to get in though....ahhhhhhh. then it's heaven. my body accepts it and i can enjoy

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 23

RE: Anal shy - 10/22/2006 2:19:29 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

well i find anal ese amazing and very helpul. I find it funny the noone mentioned positions i find it hard and painul on my knees. If i lay on my side with my knees drawn up (with lube of course) it does not hurt as much. It can be very pleasurable if done right.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to darksdesire)

Post #: 24

RE: Anal shy - 10/22/2006 3:17:45 PM

sharainks

Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline

The thing is that once you've had a bad experience with it everything just seems to tighten up that much more.

I'm with the poster who said to press slightly, withdraw, press again, withdraw, etc. It lets the muscle open bit by bit and gets you more relaxed.

For some the pushing out like you are having a bowel movement can work but for me it made the access too quick and suddenly you have something in there and your butt was really not ready for the size.

Mostly it seems to be trial and error but for me things go a whole lot better after several orgasms.

(in reply to shadevarr)

Post #: 25

RE: Anal shy - 10/22/2006 7:00:23 PM

Sissypinky

Posts: 52
Joined: 10/10/2006
Status: offline

crisco and ample patience

(in reply to SlaveAkasha)

Post #: 26

RE: Anal shy - 10/27/2006 2:47:40 AM

MistressJadeMTL

Posts: 168
Joined: 12/18/2004
From: Montreal, Canada
Status: offline

Sorry to chime in rather late, but I thought I'd share my two cents worth... I have found a preference for Astroglide as a lubricant; feels closer to natural lubrication and it is water soluble to it is safe on both toys and internal organs. Also, with anal play, you can never have too much lube!!

Not everyone can handle the hands and knees position, when I tried that with my first partner when I was much younger, I couldn't handle it because of the overall discomfort and pain. I found out years later that the best position for me was on my back, with a pillow to raise my derriere to the proper height; it was also a more personal and loving position, as we can see each other. If your partner can see your facial expressions more clearly, they are also more likely to be aware of how you are feeling, pressure-wise.

I also find that making the association with anal and pleasure can greatly enhance the experience over time. For example, rubbing one's clit while he is very gently pushing in can help to make it more pleasurable. I also second the "taking it a bit by bit" process, even sometimes taking it all the way out, in order to let you "breathe" and readjust for a few moments.

Hope some of these tips prove helpful in your "quest"!

_____________________________

~ Mistress Jade Dragon

HeadMistress - FemDomme Society of Canada: http://FemDommeSociety.ca
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(in reply to Sissypinky)

Post #: 27

RE: Anal shy - 10/27/2006 8:08:52 AM

Amaros

Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

something no one has seemed to touch on and just a word of advice be really careful about fingers or plugs or a penis travelling from anus back to vagina. You will end up with a raging infection. I consider this a more high risk area of play even though alot of others might not.

I use vinyl gloves and lots of lube - latex is "stickier" catches easier on hairs, etc., vinyl is very slick - and do a lot of play. The gloves can be changed as often as necessary, without having to run to bathroom to scrub under your fingernails all the time.

I don't think you should attempt penetration until you can get three fingers in - this may vary with the individual however, I've known a couple of women that just wanted me to shove it in, but this is poor technique to use with a beginner, IMO. It's also recomended that you orgasm vaginally first, as this will generally relax you.

The active ingerdient in Vagisil is the same as Anal-Eze but a lot cheaper, and it doesn't deaden the nerves enough to be dangerous - I've been told it decreases the initial discomfort.

Once in, the main things to be careful of are friction and sharp nails - hence the vinyl gloves and a water based lube - Aloe Vera gel is relatively cheap, and can be used to supplement more expensive lubricants, you can get it at Wal Mart.

One should avoid using lotions with alchohol (most of them), as they will not only sting, but dry tissues out - it usually added to make the lotion dry faster, which is not what you want anyway. The best stuff I've found, besides Aloe Vera gel, is stuff called Ocean Potion mousturizing aloe lotion, also available at Wal Mart - possibly on clearence this time of year.

This stuff may sting slightly on raw spots, but nothing like alchohol - one of the herbal ingredients possibly - both it and the Aloe Vera gel also smell and taste better than astroglide, if that's a consideration. I really love the smell of Ocean Potion.

There are several types of Cocoa Butter available that have no alchohol, Queen Helena makes three different types, a creme in a tube, hard butter in a tub, and hard butter in sticks, which you can by at Family Dollar - but it makes a relatively poor lubricant used alone - which is also the case with Ortho type personal lubricants.

I used to use chunks of the Queen Helena Cocoa Butter sticks as suppositories with my ex, which worked, but it takes a little while for them to melt. Been thinking about casting dildos out of the stuff actually, and with a little rounding off, they can be used as is as an impromptu toy, and it's good for both initial finger play and aftercare - it creates an oily base that water based lubricants can then slide across.

Hate to sound cheap - oh wait, I am cheap - but in fact I've been forced to improvise over the years, as most commercial sex products weren't available in my local area until recently, and these substitutes work just as well.

If you want some stinging, there are Aloe and Ocean Potion versions available with menthol - Panama Jack I think also makes Aloe lotions in both mentholated and non-mentholated versions.

< Message edited by Amaros -- 10/27/2006 8:39:13 AM >

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 28

RE: Anal shy - 10/27/2006 10:08:56 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Taken all the way out? That would make it worse the intinal penetration is the most uncomfortable and slightly painful part ,once it is in i am fine i would rather it be left in then be taken all the way out and have to go throught the intinal penetration again.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to MistressJadeMTL)

Post #: 29

RE: Anal shy - 10/28/2006 12:55:14 AM

littlespike

Posts: 80
Joined: 5/21/2005
From: Austin
Status: offline

Hi SlaveAkasha:

a little late in the posts. i was off doing domestic servitued.

i did lots of research on the subject when i was first a subie. Well actually i was newly retired and bed-bound with a broken foot. But either way.

From what i researched; the muscles in the buttocks are tight like a spring. If you loosen them ( the anal muscles ) up with a little training (i.e buttplugs and anal vibrators) ; then you will have a much better time. Not to mention using looooooots of lube.... From what i understrand, having anal play without first loosening the anal muscles can cause lots of pain and bleeding. Not really a safe situation.

Also of importance is cleansing the colon before the anal play. What happens is that the stuff in the anal canal gets in the way of the males genitals or the FemDommes strapon; and causes discomfort. i remember when i was doing live FemDomme Web casts; one of the Dommes would do an inspection of her subies. Making sure that they were clean on the inside....

little spike

_____________________________

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(in reply to SlaveAkasha)

Post #: 30

RE: Anal shy - 10/28/2006 1:02:08 AM

LadySeraphina

Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline

I know that a lot of people prefer to use water-based lube, but that area is highly absorbent, so Crisco or a silicone lube such as Elbow Grease (which is odorless and has about the same texture as Crisco) are not going to absorb as quickly, which is what you are looking for in this area. There are some good points made about starting slowly, adding other pleasurable stimulation to help condition you, and positions.

Good luck, Akasha!

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to littlespike)

Post #: 31

RE: Anal shy - 10/28/2006 1:07:26 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

One thing I have to say I've noticed over the years about anal sex--and you all may have had very different experiences, but this is my post so I get to talk about mine--is that some women are made for it and some women just aren't. Yeah, you have to take your time, you have to know what you're doing, blah blah blah, but if she's made for it, she'll take to it like a fish to water, and if she's not, it's going to be an agonizing experience from start to finish.

(in reply to LadySeraphina)

Post #: 32

RE: Anal shy - 10/28/2006 2:26:01 AM

MistressMaamNH

Posts: 211
Joined: 8/11/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I know that a lot of people prefer to use water-based lube, but that area is highly absorbent

Ahh..so THAT explains why My arse is so big after I get out of the pool. ROFL

MMNH

_____________________________

Let Me lay you softly, down onto the thorns...

(in reply to LadySeraphina)

Post #: 33

RE: Anal shy reply to crappyDom - 10/28/2006 4:32:26 AM

PoeticPrincess

Posts: 49
Joined: 10/21/2006
Status: offline

I read your post with interest, Sir. I agree that making the first slow attempts should be blissful.. touching and anal play until your partner is actually more keen than you are, and holding off, using three gloved fingers will make the experience so much more pleasurable. Prefer laying on my side, using dildo or fingers to stimulate clit whilst he slides in (good old vaseline for me) slowly, stopping as the head connects.. then sheer sheer bliss. And of course no contct with the vagina after anal unless a seperate condom us used, or man washes.

What I cant quite get my head around is a person allowing damage, or tears. This is very serious and any Doctor will tell you why. Anal rape is therefore totally outside of the safety zone, unless a condom is worn - that should prevent tears if lube covered first. Anything inserted into the rectum can be absorbed. Alcohol is dangerous when introduced that way. Its a wonderful way to build trust and closeness, the ultimate acceptance and much enjoyed.

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 34

RE: Anal shy - 10/28/2006 4:52:00 AM

givemyall

Posts: 620
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline

I cringe when I read stuff like this. I was one of those people that discovered anal sex at a very early age and had too much of it with people that didnt really know what they were doing.

Because of the damage done to me, i've had lots of doctors poking and prodding, (so much fun when its a teaching hospital and about 30 students want to look up your bottom lol) and ive had numerous operations to remove bits, tidy other bits up and ive still got a tear that my consultant says will apparently take years to heal, unless I have a muscle disection ........No way!. - (sorry if its too much info for some)

Therefore, I would say to anyone that doesnt feel happy about having anal sex - dont do it until YOU want to do it.

(in reply to SlaveAkasha)

Post #: 35

RE: Anal shy reply to crappyDom - 10/28/2006 4:54:34 AM

slavegirl1969

Posts: 69
Joined: 9/26/2006
Status: offline

oooh with anal sex I think your mind has to accept it is going to be painful at least initially. for me what follows that pain is deliciously pleasurable. When Master and I were discussing anal I asked him to at least give me some indication during the day that he fancies the idea that way I can have a thorough clean out (yukky, sorry) but for me some of the tenseness comes from a worry about the mess that might follow (literally - again, yukky). He inserts himself slightly in until it starts to hurt then stops, and from then I do the work. I move myself back at a pace I am comfortable with until he is all the way in and then the fun starts. My only rule (and yes as a sub I have one for this area of sex) is if He's in my ass He's not going anywhere else unless He's wearing a condom then he can whip it off and move on.

Favourite position - face to face with my legs over the man's shoulders - its deep (mentally and physically lol)

(in reply to PoeticPrincess)

Post #: 36

RE: Anal shy - 10/28/2006 6:11:28 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

As a great lover of anal sex (and looking forward to anally raping someone soon) let me make a few suggestions.

.

lucky girl......

I second that emotion....Tempting

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 37

RE: Anal shy - 10/29/2006 1:48:09 AM

slave4Darby3d

Posts: 106
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

First and foremost - relax... Talk to your Master and let him know that you need a little time to condition yourself. You will make yourself ready and offer yourself when you feel more comfortable.

Then, really actually condition yourself. Anal can be very rewarding, but it is not something that should be plunged into. (forgive me, I couldn't resist...)

When I knew that my Master was interested in this, I took it upon myself to read up and prepare my body for this. I was against it for years before meeting him, but I'd do anything for him...so I started teaching my body.

First - get yourself some disposable surgical gloves and an enema. Make sure you don't have real long nails, or any sharp edges (if you have scuptures, tape around the tips of your nail to remove any edges). In the shower one day (get the house to yourself) and after a normal "movement" hop in the shower. Take a shower as normal, but bring the glove with you. After giving yourself a good washing, find a good position for full access to yourself. I find that squatting is good. At this point I would masturbate, just to take the edge off and relax a bit. Do as you are comfortable.

Next, pour out the contents of the enema bottle. They frequently have saline and that causes an URGE to evacuate your bowels - you just want them cleared. Fill the enema with warm water - not too hot! I test the water temp on the inside of my thigh.
Then, put on the glove on your dominant hand and relax. take that hand and gently trace the anatomy around your anal opening. notice the sensations. find some sensations that you may like. do you enjoy the pressure? in one place, or multiple places? this is important to know, because you have to find out what feels good to YOU before introducing your partner to it. spend a little time exploring and noting.

Then, after a few minutes, gently insert the enema bottle tip just inside your opening. (note, squeeze out any excess air in the bottle or you'll hear it in a few minutes.). Gently express the water into your opening and hold it. Rinse the bottle and tip thoroughly (and clean with Hibicleans if you are going to reuse it for future preps).

Hold onto the water - it is an object inside and your body wants to expel it, like anything. Then, controlled, like you would if you were controlling your pee stream, let the water out. Don't worry if there is debris. Normal and no big deal. Just wash it down the drain. Repeat the enema if you got a lot of debris (or just wanted to).

Then, after finishing with that, take one finger - just one - and gently insert it into your opening. This is no more traumatic than the enema was. Go no further than your first knuckle. Gently press against the muscle ring as if you were trying to gently loosen a hair tie. This should not cause you pain. If it does, stop. Wait a few days and do it again until this part, a single finger, does not cause you pain.

Do this progressively over a few encounters (never more than once in one day), adding a second and then third finger. Each time the object is to get used to feeling an object AND movement just at the opening. You will find that you will find it easier to relax after a few times. You can even have Master come in the shower with you and repeat what you do...it will help him explore you and you build trust that he will not hurt you.

After three fingers, start to fan out your fingers to stretch yourself gently. This may cause a momentary twinge, as the muscles react. Remember, they want to stay closed.

Once you ve got yourself a little more condidtioned, maybe it would be worth a try with Master. Remember to prep yourself in the shower earlier, so you are more comfortable, clean, and stretched. Then, make sure you are VERY aroused. It is best if you have climaxed a few times before moving on.

On hands and knees, relax yourself and have Master fondle your anal opening while giving you some vaginal lovin' from behind. Then, when YOU feel ready, move off of him and reposition him to your opening. Make sure he knows to stay perfectly still. This show should be ALL YOU.

Then relax and take it slow - enjoy the sensations, and yes, the fight your body will give you anyway - but go slow and use plenty of lube. And, if all you do is just a little pressure, slight penetration, and no full stroking, that is FINE. You move when the pain stops. I find that it works best if I move little by little until a point until I kind of know that is as much pain as I will have. (I always have a little pain, but it passes once I have taken him in and relaxed. I do the moving.

He knows that once I start stroking back on him that I am ok and he has his way.

Now, if you are getting any tearing after conditioning yourself you need to stop and maybe see your doctor. you should not tear if you are taking the time to condition, relax and lube.

Enjoy!

(in reply to SlaveAkasha)

Post #: 38

RE: Anal shy - 10/29/2006 3:38:22 PM

slaverubyred

Posts: 39
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

i absolutely love anal sex/raping. i didnt before Master and He is infinately patient regarding penentration.

That patience pays off bigtime tho and the orgasms i have are huge, in fact i usually end up

1) holding myself open (being the typical slave/slut that i am

)

2) fucking myself on His cock

.

Lots of lube (as has been said before) and lots of time and patience. and just relax onto His cock and remember to breathe!! You will Love it, i promise once you learn to allow yourself.

Have fun & Take Care

rr. xx

(in reply to SlaveAkasha)

Post #: 39

RE: Anal shy - 10/30/2006 9:02:13 PM

proto

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

one thing a lot of people do when getting into anal is focus on the just anus too much. that's just where it all starts. particularly with lube, yes you need a lot, but not just on the outside.

the rectum is where the real action takes place, and you'll need to get not just the anus relaxed and ready but at least a couple of "rings" worth of your rectum as well. enemas are good for cleaning, and if you and your master intend for truly nasty hard deep and rough anal you will need to be cleaned out.

as for further prep, i suggest doing your training in the bathroom, it'll save you a lot of hurried trips back and fourth. also put whatever dildos/plugs in hot(but not too hot) water it will really help your muscles relax, not to mention the side benefit of being able to continuosly rinse them.

also, remember, it's all mind over matter. make it your mantra. as a sub, i know you understand that aspect. if there's a switch in your head that allows you to turn a brutal spanking into pleasure, that same switch should allow you to override your trepidation about anal.

good luck!!

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 40

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