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RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 7:05:25 AM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

my previous work with the company was exemplory (not sure that's spelled right), i was often called in on days off to either train newbies, cover for someone who called out, or was requested by guests that would only come in if i were working. many a time, i covered the entired dining area solo because others wouldn't come in for some reason or other. i trained more people doing server work than the person that was assigned to do so, because i did a better job...i was the best (still am)

Then perhaps it had something to do with why you left? Like I said, I am not privvy to all the information so I can only guess at the reasons.

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 7:39:05 AM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

i am wondering, what happens when a sub loses his/her temper? allow me to elaborate.

recently, i applied for a job with a company i used to work for and (due to some unforeseen personal issues) i was left (it's a long story)...the company opened a location here in town and i applied. was even called in before the application process begain by the owner/manager to meet and discuss my experience and knowledge. the manager appeared pleased with me...yet, after going through all the red tape and putting in a lot of effort in this, i was not hired.

the manager has only been with the company 6 months and i was with the company for 2 1/2 years. they even told me, of all the applicants, i had the most experience. i also heard from several applicants that a few of them had never worked in this field before. they all were sure i would be the first to be hired. everything pointed in this direction. even the manager's attitude had lead me to believe i would get the job.

as a sub, which of course, they are unaware of this fact, do i have a right to be anger or upset? how should i deal with this situation?



How do you deal with this.....hmmmm

i guess you could come on collar me and piss and moan about how upset you are, that you were treated so lame....or you can get over it and go find a job.

Choice is yours.

Note: i would have gone into how this is connected to being a sub and anger issues, but i don't see the connection. So i won't.

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 7:54:10 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I don't see the connection either.  Nor do I see what not being Black has to do with anything.  I've never seen an all Black (nor all Caucasian, nor all Hispanic, nor all Native American, etc.) Fudruckers so I think you just might be off base here.

You didn't get the job...deal with it.  Have another chocolate bar.

(in reply to orfunboi)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 8:08:29 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		I don't think one being Dom/me or sub has any bearing at all on this situation.  Anger is a human emotion experienced by all of us.  I'm a Domme and had something similar happen to Me several years ago.  I was passed over for a promotion in favor of someone who had less experience and seniority.  Several co-workers thought it was because he was a male, but I am not so sure that is the reason.  Yes, I was absolutely furious at the time, but got over it and went on to bigger and better things, as I am sure you will, too  
 
As far as anger goes, I don't have a problem with a sub getting angry, unless the anger is directed at Me and in a disrespectful manner.  I had a sub "go off" on Me once, and that was the first and last time as it resulted in immediate release.  By the same token, I had a sub approach Me calmly and respectfully about something I did that made him angry and didn't have a problem with that at all.
 
Lady Topaz

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 8:50:15 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		 

You have theright to feel angry, we all have the right to feel whatever we feel, but I would ask what holding on to anger is really doing for you? I would say you are allowing this circumstance to control you, which is not a good thing to do over the long term. I would be angry too, and I might look into why this person was hired over me, perhaps look elsewhere for a job that had more of a possibility for promotion if this one does not.


In my dynamic I get the whole "You let that into your heart, your head" lecture when I allow something to upset me. It ends with me being chastised for allowing something/someone else to get under my skin and in my head and control my emotions... he is the one that is supposed to control me, not other people. If I displayed anger at external things he reminds me of this... and it has been an effective way of helping me deal with my anger.



_____________________________

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Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 9:00:34 AM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

I don't see the connection either.  Nor do I see what not being Black has to do with anything. 



*thank you, that was my thought as well*

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 9:44:57 AM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		1. i was let go after a worker's comp injury, which i am healed from
2. a relationship break-up caused me to move out of town
3. discrimination goes both ways when dealing with race
4 i currently am seasonally employed with H&RBlock and was planning on leaving that job for this one
5. they had gotten a new manager shortly before my injury and he was a young jerk who thought he knew it all anyway.

hope that clears up the high points of this issue


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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 9:52:34 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Okay.  As others have said, this has nothing to do with being a sub.  It has to do with the fact that they have no obligation to hire you.  It also may entail your "I'm too good for this shit anyway" attitude.  It may also have something to do with the fact that you may be overqualified.

And the fact that they led you on; I don't think I've ever come out of an interview feeling that they would NOT hire me, be it first or third.  They don't tell you until they make a final decision.

Yours,


benji

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(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 9:56:38 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

i am wondering, what happens when a sub loses his/her temper? allow me to elaborate.

recently, i applied for a job with a company i used to work for and (due to some unforeseen personal issues) i was left (it's a long story)...the company opened a location here in town and i applied. was even called in before the application process begain by the owner/manager to meet and discuss my experience and knowledge. the manager appeared pleased with me...yet, after going through all the red tape and putting in a lot of effort in this, i was not hired.

the manager has only been with the company 6 months and i was with the company for 2 1/2 years. they even told me, of all the applicants, i had the most experience. i also heard from several applicants that a few of them had never worked in this field before. they all were sure i would be the first to be hired. everything pointed in this direction. even the manager's attitude had lead me to believe i would get the job.

as a sub, which of course, they are unaware of this fact, do i have a right to be anger or upset? how should i deal with this situation?



What's being sub got to do with it? It's not -all- you are. This job application had nothing to do with BDSM, it was about you trying to earn a living and support yourself. I think you have every right to be angry,it sounds like the person interviewing you didn't know what the hell they were doing;fancy not employing someone with experience in the job you applied for!.

Other than that, maybe it's sour grapes?,did you know this person when you worked for the company?.


                                                    HalloweenWhite.

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 9:59:04 AM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		ok, back to basics here..."is it exceptable for a sub to display anger"

forget all the other crap...i'm sure everyone here would be more comfortable without all the details of "why"

maybe i should have kept it simple and not expressed "why"

my mistake


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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 10:04:34 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

ok, back to basics here..."is it exceptable for a sub to display anger"

forget all the other crap...i'm sure everyone here would be more comfortable without all the details of "why"

maybe i should have kept it simple and not expressed "why"

my mistake



My point is the same-Of course you have the right to be angry-it's human.


                          HalloweenWhite.

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 10:07:59 AM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

ok, back to basics here..."is it exceptable for a sub to display anger"



I think that many people have already answered this question here.  Yes.

Just because you have a certain personality type or kink, doesn't check you out of the human race.  You still have emotions which you are entitled to. 

If you had a real-life Mistress and took that anger out on her as a result of your not getting a job, I think you would have some serious consequences to deal with.

I am submissive to my Master, His slave.  I can also have a hot temper.  However, I do not lose my temper with my Master. 

Also, some people have different sides with respect to how they act at home, at work, at play...  Just because I kneel for my Master doesn't mean that I would have the same thing going on at work for my boss.  Two parts of my life, two chapters, they just don't mix together.

Just my two cents here though, ymmv.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 10:10:12 AM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		thanks for clearing that up

i apologize to everyone here for boring them with this issue...maybe i need to learn to keep my big yap shut


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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 10:11:33 AM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ok, back to basics here..."is it exceptable for a sub to display anger"

Michael, I know you are more intelligent than that.

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 10:12:37 AM   
DOM33416


Posts: 61
Joined: 7/12/2006
Status: offline 		It would not be a question of displaying anger but a question of to whom you would be displaying it

_____________________________

"Waiting is a trap. There will always be reasons to wait. The truth is, there are only two things in life, reasons and results, and reasons simply don't count."

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 10:13:19 AM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		primal emotions such as anger tend to distract from intellectual thinking and displays in most peoples acts, words or lack thereof

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(in reply to Kalira)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 10:15:48 AM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

primal emotions such as anger tend to distract from intellectual thinking and displays in most peoples acts, words or lack thereof

You mean like the emotion that caused you to write this ?
quote:

thanks for clearing that up

i apologize to everyone here for boring them with this issue...maybe i need to learn to keep my big yap shut 

 

In that case, yes I would agree with you. Your emotions do tend to over-ride your intelligence.

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 10:17:01 AM   
Nosathro


Posts: 3319
Joined: 9/25/2005
From: Orange County, California
Status: offline 		Tal and greetings
 
I do agree that we all regardless of everything else are human and have emotions, anger being one of the most strongest of these.  I do not think it is a healthy thing to do to keep emotions bottled up and not express them.  I do understand that in a Maste/slave releationship a slave expressing angre or any other emotion to his/her Master/Mistress could be considered disrespectful, as any misplaced emotion.  There are ways for all to express emotions in a healthy way and they should be learned.  Being Gorean, there is a situation when a Master does allow his slave to say and express anything they want, a sort of venting.  I have used this and it does work.

I wish you well

Nosathro

_____________________________

"The love of a slave girl is the deepest and most profound love that any woman can give a man. Love makes a woman a man's slave, and the wholeness of that love requires that she be, in truth, his slave." Magicians of Gor, page 31

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 10:19:07 AM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

thanks for clearing that up

i apologize to everyone here for boring them with this issue...maybe i need to learn to keep my big yap shut



Who said that they were bored?  You asked a question, we tried to answer you to the best of our abilities, and then we get a smart comment?

I wash my hands of this...  whatever. 



_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: subs and displays of anger - 10/21/2006 10:23:37 AM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		well, i tried coming up with some stupid comments, but none of them were intelligible...

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(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 40
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