sorry - just don't get it... (Full Version)

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wouldlike2 -> sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 1:03:04 PM)

i do not wanna offend anyone here - but sorry i don't get it.

as talking with a Dom/ Master and his need/ desire He told me that he wants a sub/slave is bisexual.
in telling Him ( and yep thats my opinion) that He wanna have threesomes then - and for me thats a kind of poly situation - He told me there is a difference between poly and the desire He has that a sub is bisexual.
ok - just to understand for me.. may poly is defined as a live in play partner/ sub/ slave.. for me in seeking a monogamous D/s relation there is no difference .. althuogh i personally think even when someone enters the relation - there is a connection. and to me it does seems more like the freeway ticket to f*** around then for the Dom.
do i just don't get it??

and please... it is not a judgement here neither i do blame anyone... just curiuos to know how Y/you see it??

thanks in advance

pet



BitaTruble -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 1:10:58 PM)

Himself likes the fact that I'm bisexual simply because when he looks at a woman he considers beautiful, he knows he can tell me as well and that I can appreciate her beauty as much as he. We are sexually monogamous (although poly is not a problem at all for me it is for him). So, perhaps you can speak to him, tell him your concerns and then take it from there. It's not necessarily an aspect he desires because he wants to fuck around or wants to be involved with a threesome.

Celeste



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 1:11:03 PM)

This dom sounds like he just wants to fuck around and have threesomes- and no this isn't monogamous.

Polyamory however is intimate relationships between more than one person- not just fucking around.  This dom doesn't seem to want to form intimate relationships with people- just some hot fucking.

Sounds like he wants a non monogamous committed relationship to a slave who will fuck other women.

I personally enjoy all of it- fucking and committed relationships with more than one person.




toservez -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 1:32:44 PM)

I am with LA. The Dom is not wanting a monogamous in terms of sex and would like to see and participate with two women from time to time. This is far different then a poly relationship which is more then two people participating in a relationship that is far more then just an ocaisonal fuck.

Both poly and not playing around with others are separate issues but two big ones that all couple need to be very clear with ahead of time. Neither one is a good one to bring up in a middle of a relationship in my opinion.



RedSavageSlave -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 1:37:20 PM)

If its not for you... say so.. and then pass him by. Not sure why you are so bothered by him wanting a bisexual submissive.



gooddogbenji -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 1:37:39 PM)

Hey, I'd want my sub to be poly just so I can tell people my girl likes chicas.

Yours,


benji



naughtygeisha -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 1:42:24 PM)

i have had this discussion with Dom's who are friends first and foremost,and They all agree that They have released subs because the girl was not bi. It is not that They feel the need to bring another into  a long term relationship but that They simply want to have that option open to Them.A Master/Dom requesting that His sub/slave have a bisexual experience does not mean that He wants free reign to screw around. Most Master/Dom's that i have spoken with say that when They make the plans for a threesome it is Them and Their sub united as One to please the other , it is not, Me, her and her. i do know that the threesomes that i have experienced at the request of a Dom were just that, Us/us and the other it is a personal choice, not all sub/slaves are bi nor do they have to be but for Some it is a requirement. Just something to think about.



Kalira -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 1:49:29 PM)

I am not bisexual, and yet, I have had sex with girls for the simple reason that my late husband wished me to do it a certain times. Ok, wished is kind of a watered down version ( I was told to, no if's ands or buts about it ), but, it did not mean that we were poly, or that he screwed around with other girls.
With that said, I will agree with what LA said.



wouldlike2 -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 2:26:33 PM)

but You all do not wanna tell me now - that a monogamous D/s relation isn't possible at all??

and just to mention - what should i think about when i get in the third note a pic of the d****
i do really have to think it's just about the sexual part and nothing more - am i so wrong with?

it is far beyond the point am i sexual or not...

pet



themischievous1 -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 2:40:00 PM)

A monogamous D/s relationship is certainly possible; it just may not necessarily be possible with certain dominants or certain submissives. If you desire a monogamous D/s relationship, choose a monagamous partner. Don't choose a partner who wants to swing or one who enjoys playing with others. You usually can't turn a person who is firmly into one thing into something else. On your profile state exactly what you desire, for example put "monogamous only, no negotation possible."



toservez -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 2:45:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: wouldlike2

but You all do not wanna tell me now - that a monogamous D/s relation isn't possible at all??

and just to mention - what should i think about when i get in the third note a pic of the d****
i do really have to think it's just about the sexual part and nothing more - am i so wrong with?

it is far beyond the point am i sexual or not...

pet


Any type of relationship is possible between people when they both want and agree to that relationship. Certainly monogamous relationships are probably the most common and by a long shot.

Third message has a dick pick from this Dom? We have not been in contact with the person so we do not know what both of you have said, but trust your instincts. In a vacuum, I would say the guy is not being serious about a relationship.



wouldlike2 -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 3:02:14 PM)

believe me - i didnt asked about the pic and even i am very sexual.. i told Him also that D/s and seeking a relation is definitly not just about the sex. [8|]

pet



SlaveAkasha -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 3:19:55 PM)

My Master likes that I am bisexual not because he wants to have sex with other women, but because he can watch me have sex with them.
 
It is very possible to be exclusive in a D/s relationship, it's just how the two people in it want to be.
 
Master and I have agreed that he can share me.  That doesn't make us in a poly, that just means we will mix it up and spice things a bit once in a while.  He knows though that this doesn't give him free reign in just bringing people in and out of our bedroom.  It is where he and I sit down discuss it and I have a say in who we involve.
 
Some people can't think anything doesn't have to do with just sex, Doms and vanilla.. it might be a different game, but the players are the same.
 
Akasha
 
edited for grammer.. ugh.



Kalira -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 3:51:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveAkasha

My Master likes that I am bisexual not because he wants to have sex with other women, but because he can watch me have sex with them.
 
It is very possible to be exclusive in a D/s relationship, it's just how the two people in it want to be.
 
Master and I have agreed that he can share me.  That doesn't make us in a poly, that just means we will mix it up and spice things a bit once in a while.  He knows though that this doesn't give him free reign in just bringing people in and out of our bedroom.  It is where he and I sit down discuss it and I have a say in who we involve.
 
Some people can't think anything doesn't have to do with just sex, Doms and vanilla.. it might be a different game, but the players are the same.
 
Akasha
 
edited for grammer.. ugh.

Bingo

My late husband shared me, but it was not just a case of anyone; only a very select few. And much like Akasha said, with the women, he had nothing to do with it at all with the exception of watching us.



Kaledorus -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 4:00:44 PM)

It depends upon what you are seeking in this lifestyle of BDSM.
I always suggest that if a woman has a laundry list of do's and don'ts then she should opt for being a subbie rather than a slave.

If you want a fellow who will do as you feel is best then make sure beforehand that he agrees to that and that he never change his mind, however as a subbie you would have the veto power and would never have to be subject to anything you didn't like or didn't want to do. So that is best way, I think, to have your cake and eat it too.
Because some men you just never know what they may make a little gal do.[;)]



DarkSideisXTC -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 4:06:38 PM)

As has been said a Poly is a much different type of relationship than mutual fun with a 3rd party. I dare to say that Dom's shouldn't even try to have Poly's as that is giving too much power to the submissive's in the relationship but me thinks that will spark too much debate [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m9.gif[/image]  and for another topic. Know before hand what the Master desires. If he/she is a swinger type then expect them to want to share you and swap with other Master's. Swinging is not Poly.   



Kalira -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 4:10:56 PM)

quote:

If he/she is a swinger type then expect them to want to share you and swap with other Master's

Hmmm, just because I was shared, did not make us swingers [8D] 



KatyLied -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 4:12:21 PM)

quote:

but You all do not wanna tell me now - that a monogamous D/s relation isn't possible at all??


I think it's possible.  I also think that finding a Dom who will be agreeable to it will be difficult. 



slavegirl1969 -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 4:23:28 PM)

my Master and I are monogamous, His choice, not mine.  He knows I have had sex with women in the past (long before I found Him, and He enjoys the knowledge of it but is happy to not share me with others - he's an old fashioned kinda guy, god love him) I would love it if He wanted me to be shared amongst others (male and female) but it wont happen and out of respect for Him and our relationship I don't make an issue out of it.  He does love it though when I make comments about beautiful women, and oh yes, the fact that he can watch girl on girl videos without ending up sleeping on the sofa [:)]



wouldlike2 -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 4:40:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirl1969

my Master and I are monogamous, His choice, not mine.  He knows I have had sex with women in the past (long before I found Him, and He enjoys the knowledge of it but is happy to not share me with others - he's an old fashioned kinda guy, god love him) I would love it if He wanted me to be shared amongst others (male and female) but it wont happen and out of respect for Him and our relationship I don't make an issue out of it.  He does love it though when I make comments about beautiful women, and oh yes, the fact that he can watch girl on girl videos without ending up sleeping on the sofa [:)]


sounds great to me.. hug



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