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Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 3:34:38 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

Dear Sirs:
When a conversation, either online or on the phone starts out with the Dom asking me "So... Tell me about yourself." i freeze. The question is so vague and of course my sense of humor so twisted that my first thought is from the classic Steve Martin movie "The Jerk" and i want to say "i was born a poor black child....."

i have thought to actually write down a "script" of interesting things to say "about myself" and i've tried to recite certain things but it seems awkward and contrived.

So my question is this: What kinds of things does the prospective Dom want to know when He says "Tell me about yourself." ? Do You want to know the basics (i would think by the phone call stage He'd know those) of where i live, my age, sex, location, what i do for a living, what my kinks are? Is there some other way to recite "something about myself" without sounding like i'm doing an oral report for a class i'm taking? Should i have some highlights of my life and my BDSM experiences prepared ahead of time?

Any thoughts or opinions will be appreciated. Thank You.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

Post #: 1

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 3:42:09 AM

jeffman1234

Posts: 61
Joined: 6/11/2004
Status: offline

Say "I was born a poor black child" If he gets it you have a connection.

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 2

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 3:59:32 AM

SweetCaleigh

Posts: 59
Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline

i can totally understand where you are coming from with this situation. i have learned after a while when the Dom asks that question, i then ask the question, "Is there anything specific You would like to know first.?" Sometimes that helps get the communication going.

i have also did kind of what you did, put somethings on paper and keep it in notebooks so you can refer to it quickly and give Him some more imput. One other thing i did was write a story about yourself e.g. write about how you discovered how you learned that you were submissive, give a little background about your life, likes, dislikes, what you seek in a Dom/Master, the type of relationship you are looking for, as well as your hard and soft limits. You don't have to write a bibliography, just sweet and simple. Put this in a word document and save it. When He starts asking these questions ask Him if you may give him something to read about yourself and many Doms will say yes. Just copy and paste the doc. into the collarme e-mail and send it off to Him. i think this will start you on the right path for more discussion and a deeper understanding for Him to work with.

Hope it works out for you :)

sweet caleigh

(in reply to jeffman1234)

Post #: 3

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 4:13:54 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

Just tell them how much you respect a Dom who has the confidence to lead by word and deed. You know, one who will tell you about *himself* first!

Frankly, I don't have much respect at all for "doms" whose main strategy is to ask vague "fishing" questions and leave the sub to respond in detail. Them *first*!

Focus.

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 4

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 4:31:39 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

I'd probably counter with.......* What do you want to know, specifically*, if you don't have a clue what type of information they're after.

agirl

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 5

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 4:59:15 AM

Kalira

Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline

I tend to answer with the same kind of humor. I figure if they are going to ask such vague questions, then they deseeve vague answers :)

I have had a few though who actually liked the humor that I threw in and were able to give back just as much as I gave in that respect. If they don't see the humor in it, then I know right away that we would never get along.

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 6

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 6:00:38 AM

vanillarella

Posts: 3
Joined: 1/12/2006
Status: offline

I just answer ...female and with pulse...that usually does it.

(in reply to Kalira)

Post #: 7

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 6:05:20 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

This was just recently covered in the Mistress section:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_634519/tm.htm

It might help. LA, sorry if I'm stepping on your toes with the link ;)

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to vanillarella)

Post #: 8

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 8:24:23 AM

swtsouthernsub

Posts: 477
Joined: 12/23/2004
Status: offline

When I first was asked to tell about myself I was witty humorous blatenly honest and felt comfortable enough to share my lifes story with him.
But frist we got to know one other simple everyday questions likes dislikes . lively hood children pets , what type of relationship are we each seeking
He honestly wanted to know me not the submissive me but my vanilla side we laughed and told jokes,
enjoyed just getting to know each others little quirks then he asked me a series of questions for me to think about and get back to him

That is what really drew me to him that he was confident enough to keep the conversation going was honestly interested in me the person

They needed to be very creative and articulate the questions were

1) what are my best assests of being a sub?

2)what am I willing to do as a sub ?

3) What in my life has heighten my experiences as a sub ?

4 ) what are my dislikes he would only use in punishment purposes

which then I replied after alot of thought and consideration theses questions

I must have done something right, for I've not scared him away yet
now he knows just about everything there is to know about me .

_____________________________

DEBBIE
Messenger Of Truth
Let the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart,
be acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and redeemer
Psalms 19:14

Those with a closed mind live a sheltered life.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 9

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 8:36:44 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Kat- no stepping on toes, I'd love it if more people posted links!

Anyway, to a vague question like that I usually respond "Hmm, well I love chocolate milkshakes and spoiling my nephews. What about you?" and go from there.

Asking a vague open-ended question isn't a sin, and can be a very good question to gauge someone's personality by. So use it for yourself to gauge THEIR personality :)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 10

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 8:52:56 AM

thegirlincharge

Posts: 68
Joined: 4/1/2006
Status: offline

I have responded with that Steve Martin quote before...he didn't get it...that was our first and last chat. Such a question seems to lack the creativity I need to remain intrigued.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 11

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 9:58:01 AM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

Dear Sirs:
When a conversation, either online or on the phone starts out with the Dom asking me "So... Tell me about yourself." i freeze. The question is so vague and of course my sense of humor so twisted that my first thought is from the classic Steve Martin movie "The Jerk" and i want to say "i was born a poor black child....."
...

Any thoughts or opinions will be appreciated. Thank You.

How about: "Well I think of myself as the kind of person who freezes when a conversation starts with such an open-ended question."

I'm more interested in what a person shows me than what she tells me. A forthright response to an open-ended question would seem to show forthrightness, or maybe evasiveness but time would tell.

I think open-ended questions can make for a much more interesting dance than a tit-for-tat volley of facts, and I try to enjoy each conversation for what it is rather than view them as time "spent" in search of data. If a person can't deal with an open-ended questions, scurries for cover in response or requires explicit instructions before replying then there is a very good chance that someone other than me will make a better conversational partner for her. On the other hand maybe she is just a bit nervous.

Again, time will tell.

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 12

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 10:31:22 AM

RedSavageSlave

Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline

"Would love to.. can you give me a starting point?"

<modified to add>

One of my personal pet peeves is when a Dom will ask this when HE is the one approaching me..I find that highly annoying.. and my response to that is usually

" I dont interview for positions I havent applied for" ................<unless he has a reallly cute pic that is LOL>

< Message edited by RedSavageSlave -- 10/23/2006 10:33:19 AM >

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to Noah)

Post #: 13

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 10:51:15 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

What kinds of things does the prospective Dom want to know when He says "Tell me about yourself." ?

Depends on your goal. If your intent to is meet and have a person to person relationship the same answer regardless of which side of the flogger.

"Okay sure. What time and where do you want to meet so we can learn about each other?"

Other than that, you really don't KNOW or find out anything you can rely upon as fact about the person on the other side of the keyboard. You can't even be confident they are even the gender they represent on-line.

BTW - If they insist on knowing your sexual practices, preferences, experiences desires, and fantasies; its safe to assume they are only using one hand to type and don't really want to your to tell anything about yourself.

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 14

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 12:55:30 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

Dear Sirs:
When a conversation, either online or on the phone starts out with the Dom asking me "So... Tell me about yourself." i freeze. The question is so vague and of course my sense of humor so twisted that my first thought is from the classic Steve Martin movie "The Jerk" and i want to say "i was born a poor black child....."

LOL eyesopened, I love that.

i have thought to actually write down a "script" of interesting things to say "about myself" and i've tried to recite certain things but it seems awkward and contrived.

So my question is this: What kinds of things does the prospective Dom want to know when He says "Tell me about yourself." ? Do You want to know the basics (i would think by the phone call stage He'd know those) of where i live, my age, sex, location, what i do for a living, what my kinks are? Is there some other way to recite "something about myself" without sounding like i'm doing an oral report for a class i'm taking? Should i have some highlights of my life and my BDSM experiences prepared ahead of time?

Any thoughts or opinions will be appreciated. Thank You.

The question is a dreaded one.... it would be nice to have more specific questions asked of you, but you takes what you gets, sometimes.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 15

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 1:06:35 PM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I ask that question because what they choose to talk about and how they talk about it conveys a great deal of unconscious information. Since my goal is to get inside a woman's head and use it for my playground, the more I know the more fun I am going to have.

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 16

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 1:27:25 PM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

When I ask questions I want honest replies. I do not want scripted replies. I feel scripted replies & the whole 20 questions game to be foolish song & dance, easily choreographed yet when you miss a step the whole routine falls apart.

I feel the same about these cut & pasted emails that are often sent out. My don't those things make a person feel special

I have found that relaxed natural conversation is the best course. Not only what we talk about but what topics come up & when reveal a lot about a person.

So, if someone isn't able to be fresh & original then I will most likely not find continued or longterm interest.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 10/23/2006 1:31:28 PM >

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 17

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 2:25:02 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I usually answer with i am the youngest of 5 childern have the usualy number of Parents and i go to college what else would you like to know? Then i just wing it from there. It is nice it he tells me something about himself too.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 18

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 2:47:05 PM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

One of my personal pet peeves is when a Dom will ask this when HE is the one approaching me..I find that highly annoying.. and my response to that is usually

So a dom you've never met or maybe even heard of should take control of the conversation and direct what information you are to share and when? It irks you if instead he gracefully indicates that he is interested to hear whatever you care to share about yourself, then shuts up and listens attentively?

That's one view I guess.

Does it just irk the shit out of you if he forgets to say "Kneel, bitch," too?

Just sayin' that there are more ways than one in which a person could choose to view this open question thing..

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)

Post #: 19

RE: Tell Me About Yourself - 10/23/2006 2:53:40 PM

Kalira

Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

When I ask questions I want honest replies. I do not want scripted replies. I feel scripted replies & the whole 20 questions game to be foolish song & dance, easily choreographed yet when you miss a step the whole routine falls apart.

I feel the same about these cut & pasted emails that are often sent out. My don't those things make a person feel special

I have found that relaxed natural conversation is the best course. Not only what we talk about but what topics come up & when reveal a lot about a person.

So, if someone isn't able to be fresh & original then I will most likely not find continued or longterm interest.

Exactly. It really depends HOW someone asks me. I tend to be pretty lighthearted in regards to revealing information about myself, and will generally answer questions in the same way. I have had some, both online and in RL that have asked me the simple "tell me about yourself', and yet it was asked in such a way that it just rubbed me the wrong way. And then there have been others who have asked in such a way that it just keeps the flow of conversation going without me having to stop and think about what they are asking for.

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 20

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