RE: Small frame makes me vain? (Full Version)

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Celeste43 -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 6:38:15 AM)

Dressing to show off your assets is one thing, coming up to people who are obviously not a size six and squealing how happy you are to now fit into this size six dress is rude. I would imagine that if multiple people are telling you the same thing, then it's true

As far as preferences, go for it. And the barely ideal weight males you favor turn me off. I like big men with heavy muscles not thin mountain bikers. But I don't go up to thin mountain bikers and tell them they're too unattractive for me to have coffee with. Or turn my head in disgust when one passes me in Starbucks.



Ava82 -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 7:01:49 AM)

When I was very, very thin (5'7 and 120lbs) people used to make disparaging comments at me all the time.  "Put on some weight,"  "Are you sick?", "That's disgusting,"  so on and so forth.  Then, when I was overweight (5'8 and 210 lbs) people asked me if I was pregnant, and whispered that I'd gone downhill.  There is apparantly some happy medium, probably much closer to thin, where you are universally acceptable and pleasing.  I have no idea what this is.

As people in different situations, our weight will fluctuate.  I find it hard to imagine "disgust" at other people. Having been on both sides of the fence, both sides hurt.  I would say, just try to look at the people around you and see what you can learn from them.  If they've been in the scene longer than you, they're holding great info and contacts.  Part of what's excellent about BDSM is the community, and a community that senses your disgust is not a happy one. 

I am vain as well.  I'm not going to lie.  But I would never let anyone know (except strangers on the internet).  I have fat friends, thin friends, ugly friends, pretty friends, and they have fluctuated just like me.  When that person you find disgusting maybe loses fifty pounds, maybe she will be the greatest beauty ever to strike the dungeon.  People will crowd around her.  Then what, for you?

Put stock in your future.  Your perfect Dom could walk in, and hear how judgemental you are.  And not go near you. 

Feeling beautiful at 5'8 and 160 lbs,

Sarah



juliaoceania -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 7:09:06 AM)

AllyC,

Personally I think you are one of the most beautiful women on CM. Thin does not equate beauty, eyes likes yours are very very rare...(and no I am not bi or anything, but I calls it likes I sees it)



justheather -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 7:11:36 AM)

quote:

i'm tired of being called out for being beautifully thin.


It sounds from your OP like you maybe just lost and are continuing to lose weight. Im sure it is exciting and even intoxicating to enjoy your "new body". It  might come as a buzz-kill to discover that while you are experiencing this self-love, everyone else might not feel the love with you. That doesnt mean you should stop loving yourself.

Also, you  may want to bear in mind that some people...people of all sizes... don't automatically equate "thin" with "beautiful".

The people at the club might see certain behaviors as attention-seeking or vain, even if you don't intend to come off that way.  It doesnt make you vain, nor does it make them jealous.

It's true that you have every right to behave in any way you want to with regard to your body, maybe you might consider, if you want to go to these clubs and have a good time with the group there... you might want to tone it down a little bit and save the full-on celebration of yourself for a time when you are with people who will also appreciate it.

Self-absorption (whether perceived or real) is rarely viewed as an attractive trait on any size body.



justheather -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 7:13:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
...(and no I am not bi or anything...)


You made me laugh out loud.



Emperor1956 -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 7:14:17 AM)

OP:  You are young and thin.  Do you have anything else going for you, because guess what?  Those commodities are pretty cheap in the world.  There will always be younger and thinner girls who are available.  Cultivate something to make you worth while.  And then consider calling attention to yourself for THOSE characteristics, rather than posting to say "look at ME!  I'm young and thin and better than THEY are."

Because right now, you are begging for attention, and dull.

E.



daddysprop247 -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 7:27:41 AM)

Jewel85: sometimes it can be difficult to gain a proper impression of someone thru online posting only, however from the way you have expressed yourself here you do indeed seem to be vain. confidence in oneself is one thing, but feeling the need to feel superior/better than others is something else. there is nothing wrong with not being attracted to overweight people...my Master and i are the same way. we're both pretty fit, healthy people, and we seek the same in others we interact with in a physical way. and it's true, there does seem to be a disproportionate number of overweight people in the public lifestyle scene. but, you can still find whatever you're looking for. like you we're in the DC metro area....Crucible is NOT DC's only bdsm club, it is simply the most public.. do some research, put yourself out there in the local scene, and be respectful, and perhaps then doors will be opened to you which will contain the sort of Master/Dominant you seek.

btw, no offense, but if you are indeed 5'4" and 137, that is not what i would call "beautifully thin" or small framed.



imtempting -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 7:30:15 AM)

I still think you should just tell these people to go to McDonalds and have a big mac and get even fatter.

People say that  it is rude to call overweright ppl fat etc. It is just as rude to call thin ppl rude names.

Is it ok for overweight people to wear clothes ten times too small that makes them look ugly as hell yet not ok for a skinny gal to wear clothes a bit too small or skin tight clothes that look sexy?

You people can abuse me all you want but like it or not your all being hypocrites as she said to start with all the bad things she has been getting called is about her weight..

I also agree with her as I cannot stand being around obese people. It makes me sick to think how people could let their bodies get to such an un-healthy weight. And if there is nothing wrong with it then why do doctors tell you to lose weight and why is America and Australia rated as having the most overweight people and the most illness related to being overweight.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 7:33:36 AM)

Some wisdom, perhaps, in a neat slogan: Life is about my stuff. I thought of this last night (and actually think it's a decent t-shirt slogan). On the surface, it's funny in a narcistic way, but it does have deeper meaning.

"Stuff" refers to the emotional/mental/spiritual/physical challenges we face in this life. For each of us, our journey is about our own stuff. So, rather than wonder about why/how others are reacting to you, look at why/how you are reacting to them. You cannot change their stuff, you can only examine your stuff and why it's important to you what they think of you.

Master Fire



givemyall -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 8:36:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

You people can abuse me all you want but like it or not your all being hypocrites as she said to start with all the bad things she has been getting called is about her weight..

I also agree with her as I cannot stand being around obese people. It makes me sick to think how people could let their bodies get to such an un-healthy weight. And if there is nothing wrong with it then why do doctors tell you to lose weight and why is America and Australia rated as having the most overweight people and the most illness related to being overweight.



Ahhhh how sweet, I think Jewel has met her ideal partner, im quite sure the pair of you will be very happy in your ivory tower eating healthy food all day.  You can both look down on all us disgusting people not fortunate enough to be as beautiful as you.



littleone35 -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 9:04:13 AM)

To the op good for you or losing the weight first off.  That is not an easy thing to do.  You find ovrweight prople disguesting   well that is just yoiu opnion i an niot saying it is wrong an opnion cannot be wrong some people have a totally different opnion.  I have heard the saying if you got it flaunt  it,  just make sure you are not doing it in a way like look at me i am so thin and you are so fat and i know i look so much better than you.  As long as you are not doing it that way then just inore what the people say and enjoy yourself.

Sexy is 50% what you got snd 50 % what people think you got.  I have been told i am cute.  yes i admit i am about 20 lbs overweight but i think i am sexy so other people see that and i do get 2nd looks.  If you think you are sexy and carry yourself that way others will see it too.

Matt's littleone



juliaoceania -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 9:11:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
...(and no I am not bi or anything...)


You made me laugh out loud.


It is such a dude thing to say I just had to...hee hee



CrappyDom -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 9:20:46 AM)

I made a conscious decision years ago that my weight mattered less to me than enjoyment of life.  I extend that to any woman I choose to become involved in.

Living a longer but boring life does not interest me, I would rather enjoy steak tartar, creme brulee, and a nice aperitif of Drambuie than spend an evening in the gym.

Again, life is about balance and there is a vast difference between being soft and grossly overweight but when I look at a woman with a perfect body, my cock drools but my mind sees the hours at the gym, the hours spent before the mirror and my mind recoils.  I enjoy looking at a thin attractive women with perfect hair and makeup but you will never catch me waking up with one because they are no fucking fun and no fun to fuck.



juliaoceania -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 9:21:27 AM)

quote:

I still think you should just tell these people to go to McDonalds and have a big mac and get even fatter.


You should be ashamed of yourself for saying such nasty mean things. As someone that has not seen the inside of a McDonald in years I would not want anyone to eat that sludge. It is just mean spiritedness and immaturity to be this cruel. I would not want to know you.

quote:

People say that  it is rude to call overweright ppl fat etc. It is just as rude to call thin ppl rude names.



My mom always said beauty is only skin deep, but rotten is to the bone


quote:

 
You people can abuse me all you want but like it or not your all being hypocrites as she said to start with all the bad things she has been getting called is about her weight


No, she is being insulted about her attitude, as someone who is physically fit, I never get reactions like this from overweight people, I wonder why?

quote:

I also agree with her as I cannot stand being around obese people. It makes me sick to think how people could let their bodies get to such an un-healthy weight.


Then stay home, because fat people have a right to go outside and if it bothers you so much I think you should lock yourself away.

quote:

And if there is nothing wrong with it then why do doctors tell you to lose weight and why is America and Australia rated as having the most overweight people and the most illness related to being overweight.



For many people it is a severe medical condition that will shorten their lifespan, for you to be so cruel to people with a real medical problem is just beyond disgusting. If I were you I would ask yourself if you would talk that way to someone that had cancer or some genetic condition. If you would then I would say this... I would rather be fat than have a personality disorder, personality disorders cannot be cured.

When I go to the gym and I see someone that is morbidly obese my heart goes out to them for the battle they are going to face losing weight, it is not easy. My brother weighed over 450 lbs at one time, and he lost all of that weight, and there were many people who treated him as sub human because of this... all I can say is people who act like that, I have no use for, beauty is skin deep, rotten is to the core.



toservez -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 9:32:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jewel85

i have recently joined the public scene, and am happy to say that i love it. i have gone now three times to the Crucible, D.C.'s only BDSM club, and a great one it is....except some of the people.

i have a high preference for tall, slim, slightly muscular men, not more than 10 lbs. over their ideal weight. i am willing to play with others as well, but i don't see any Master of mine to be overweight, because i feel if they cannot take care of themselves, how can i ever trust them to take care of me??

i am 5'4" and now 137 lbs (and slowly losing more, trying to get down to 120). When i have gone to the club or out to a party or any such, yes i like to flaunt my body. i feel i am beautiful, and i want to show everyone how beautiful i am. But i have been told to stop being so vain and flaunting my body by some people, all of them overweight. Is this just their insecurity about their weight, or is there something wrong with me being proud of my small frame?

When did being unhealthily obese become ideal? i'm sorry if i offend, but i find obesity disgusting, and if someone is very obese, i have a hard time being around them, because i find it so repulsive. What is wrong with wanting a healthy, thin body, as long as you aren't skin and bones? i'm tired of being called out for being beautifully thin.

~jewel @}-;---



It is called jealousy nothing more and  nothing less. Remember it is people reacting to their own issues and the extra attention you are certainly getting and some of that is because you are new.  Unfortunately  it has been my experience some women in the scene will never accept you  or treat you decently because of this issue. I repeat the word some and I did not use the words all or most.

We are attracted to what we are attracted to and there is nothing wrong with that no matter what gender we are. If you prefer skinny men then more power to you. That is not better or worse then another person only attracted to people with long hair, the size of a person's paycheck, and other things politically correct society has taught us is superficial but our brains refuse to adjust for.

Now if you have been going around and sprouting off to people about what you have commented on here and have been rude to men who you have turned down, then I can see why some people might have problems with you. There is nothing wrong with not being attracted to people who are overweight, but judging them the way you did is not much different then how you think some of them have judged you.




juliaoceania -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 9:33:10 AM)

quote:

Again, life is about balance and there is a vast difference between being soft and grossly overweight but when I look at a woman with a perfect body, my cock drools but my mind sees the hours at the gym, the hours spent before the mirror and my mind recoils.  I enjoy looking at a thin attractive women with perfect hair and makeup but you will never catch me waking up with one because they are no fucking fun and no fun to fuck.


I work out for different reasons these days than I used to, you do not use it you will lose it, and I value my health... it is all about feeling good and being active. These days I do not wear makeup at all, except a little when going out for dinner. But then again my employment used to call for such perfection and now I am a hippie liberal, so it does not matter so much...lol



Lashra -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 9:48:17 AM)

Some people such as myself are obese due to very real medical conditions. I used to be 5 ft 8 and 140lbs, I was quite the knock out or so I was told. But did I flaunt it? No, I am not a vain person and the vain people that I knew I didn't like. To me they had this "its all about ME" attitude and I don't have time for that crap.

I eat very healthy and go to the gym regularly. Here I am still 5 foot 8 but 242 lbs. I used to weigh 286 lbs so in a year I've lost quite a bit of weight. Do people treat me differently? Oh yeah you better believe it. There are some real rude mother fuckers in this world, but I don't have a problem being rude right back. I remember once sitting in a restaurant with a girlfriend eating some salad and this woman walked up and said "Dear I don't mean to offend you but, you have such a pretty face, how could you let yourself get so big?" My reply was "I have a big body and tact, you sister on the other hand have a big mouth and no tact. So why don't you go have a seat and shutup?"

Don't always assume someone is overweight due to laziness and the fact they eat everything in sight. I'm diabetic so I have to be very careful with what I eat. Most people here couldn't survive on the low amount of calories that I take in per day.

BTW I've been to the crucible too and there are lots of larger ladies there and smaller ones, in fact people of all sizes. No one seems to have a problem getting someone to play with.

~Lashra the fat ass



beautyImurDaddy -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 10:06:37 AM)

well i would be one of "those obese/overweight women" who attends The Crucible with Daddy as well... I have something called Cushings Disease (which is a tumor on my pituitary gland) which does not permit my body to metabolize properly nor to create minerals the body needs such as iodine etc.... i dont fault others for their "size" unless they have obvious eating disorders and are destroying their bodies.... beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and colors... and last time i checked i am not in a position to judge others.  I can only speak for myself as i tend to find "thicker" women with curves more attractive, as does Daddy... but that does not mean that i do not find beauty is thinner people as well as i have several very good friends who are just naturally thin with "dancers" bodies.

As long as you are comfortable in your own skin... others opinions should not matter... just as your evaluation and referenced distain for overweight people means nothing to me... (no offense intended)

We can only be who and what we are.



subjected2006 -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 12:11:18 PM)

So... lil Jewel85..how are you feeling right now?
If you are angry.Then I think you need to seriously talk to someone
who knows how to help you deal with this.
I have to tell you..I can feel your anger from here.
Did a fat guy molest you or something?
Look..you might think you are hiding this anger..but like a previous poster suggested,
it's obviously emenateing from your pores hon.
And if you are smiling through it then thats not being polite, thats being dishonest.
You're not fooling these people.
You can flower it up any way you want,but these people just dont like  you.Period.
So..get out of their club or come clean with em'.
Grow some balls.
Try submitting to someone who really grosses you out.
Make it penance.( I say this tongue in cheek..but..?)
But deal with the anger because going solely on looks is not an accurate means to judge
people.
Ever.
One of the most striking men  I know has got the darkest most dishonest soul I know.
And I know you know this.
Let us know what you do okay?





allyC -> RE: Small frame makes me vain? (10/25/2006 1:16:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Personally I think you are....  ...(and no I am not bi or anything, but I calls it likes I sees it)
 Thank you very, very much for such kind words.... and if you should ever become bi (or even heteroflexible) let me know... *wink wink* hehe -Cav's ally



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