quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

However, i still disagree with the OP's punishment!   NOT because it was abusive, but because i personally thought it was excessive for the crime (imho).  Again, just for clarification.... my opinion.

Having said that, there may be things that i have done for previous Masters that the OP would never subject his slave to and find too extreme.  It is just a difference of opinions and experiences.

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ORIGINAL: catize

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ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I just hoped he wiped his screen clean after he posted this.

The OP does make one wonder what was his motivation for sharing this as well as raises the question in my mind if he was really as detached as he claims. 

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ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

Sounds like your are learning some good stuff ExtremeO, attrition, accountability, safety, detachment....good stuff.
 
I would might encourage you to not take the God/Owner stuff too seriously though, you can become a parody of yourself, which i can tell you does not inspire confidence as a rule.

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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
I've stated before my hesitation on using physical punishment.  Other threads have made me rethink my position.  This one does also but it also encourages caution within me.  One post that helped me in that portion was the one by Lady A, noting a "well of rage" (nice descriptive phrase, Lady A).  I may or may not have as deep or as complex a well...but I do know that there is a darkness within me that does help to fuel my sadism also but in a constructive way.  One reason I would be extremely cautious with using physical punishment is the chance, if unguarded, to let this well overflow.  It never has and I feel that I have a pretty good brake on it but that is because I am aware of it and the danger.

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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

I liked something that Bita stated, paraphrased (slightly) here:  if a submissive remembers the lesson to be learned from the punishment more than she does the punishment, then the punishment has been effective.  If she remembers the punishment more than she does the lesson, then it was not as effective. 

It may not have been as effective as to the exact nature of the punishment itself, true.  However, going off a bit on a tangent, it may be very effective to a different and perhaps deeper subconscious part of her psyche.

Of course, it is possible (as EO noted) that the lesson became ingrained more than consciously thought of

Yes, this is what i was getting at.  It becomes incorporated, and is absorbed on a different level, not so much a conscious thought, but a subconscious element that may cause her to automatically not commit that same infraction, without much effort of thinking about not committing that infraction.  *hope this makes sense*

whereas the punishment stayed a memory and so, while it may seem that the memory of the punishment has outlasted the memory of the lesson, t'ain't necessarily so.

Exactly.  This is often how this has worked within myself.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

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ORIGINAL: ExtremeOwnerIL

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
I've stated before my hesitation on using physical punishment.  Other threads have made me rethink my position.  This one does also but it also encourages caution within me.  One post that helped me in that portion was the one by Lady A, noting a "well of rage" (nice descriptive phrase, Lady A).  I may or may not have as deep or as complex a well...but I do know that there is a darkness within me that does help to fuel my sadism also but in a constructive way.  One reason I would be extremely cautious with using physical punishment is the chance, if unguarded, to let this well overflow.  It never has and I feel that I have a pretty good brake on it but that is because I am aware of it and the danger.

Good thought CD.  i have known those who have struck their submissive/slave while feeling that "rage" stirring inside, and more often than not, it caused severe damage to their relationships.  Long term damage, for there remained a residual fear within the slave that this may happen again.  It creates an uncertainty and blocks the slave from her feeling of freedom to submit without fear (i am not talking about that anticipatory healthy fear, but rather a fear based on real safety concerns). 
 
Sometimes, even when the master became aware and stopped it or caught it quickly, it still fosters fear and mistrust and mistrust in an s/m dynamic works the same as no trust for some folks, for it causes the same apprehensions to surface, if even on a smaller scale. 
 
There are many folks who have worked through this area that i personally know of, but i know of others who have experienced what i shared above about fear and trust who are no longer together because of it.  Reminds me of that saying about how a master is a master of his own mind first and foremost.  i know folks make mistakes, but in this area, there is not much room for error, for the results can be serious enough to have impact (however slight) for a very long time.

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I completely identify and agree with your caution. That is where my self control of myself comes into play. If I am too angry about something, I give myself the space and time to deal with that emotion before dealing with anything else. In fact, my girl has commented that sometimes I will take a long while to approach her with correction - that is because I need to take the time to understand.

i agree.  i believe that it is never good to physically discipline or punish while angry.  When angry, it is the anger that has the potential to over throw even the most self controlled person at times. It is the anger that is in the drivers seat and the one who weilds the whip in that moment.  It is the anger that combines with the darker abyss and ignites things that are not always able to be controlled or expected.  Not a good combo. 
 
i know of one master who gave into his slave's need to be punished immediately for she couldn't stand to wait, and he gave in while angry.  i say to be very cautious and never let anyone talk You (generally understood) into doing anything s/m while angry.

That also explains a portion of the "detachment" - the ability to unhook the "pleasure" I get from S/m and put it in the context of strictly an act of correction and atonement.

Exactly, it is objective, instead of being subjective to, and driven by the feelings and motivations of anger. 
 
i also wish to add, that when being punished, while knowing (feeling, sensing) the master's anger during that time, the mind receives this differently, not as pleasure, not as punishment.  It has the same effect as a form of purposeful abuse even though on a conscious level the slave knows it is not intended as such.   It's affect has the potential, depending upon the intensity of the experience, to skew the entire purpose and intent of not only that moment/punishment, but long lasting and often hard to pinpoint residual affects on the entire s/m dynamic. 
 
While corporal punishment and physical discipline and pleasure/pain ae a part of my desires, in this area, i do not rush into anything, i move very cautiously until i am very sure, and really get to know who it is that i will be subjecting myself to. 

I would also note that by happenstance, you have helped me to learn one of the extremely few limits I have: that is, having a slave in ANY position or situation and singing "La Cucaracha" over and over.

A Man has to have his limits, you see.

Too funny, wondering why CD had "La Cucaracha" on his brain in the first place! What? LOL!

Thank You all for sharing your thoughts in this thread, it gives me a better perspective on things. *smile

(in reply to ExtremeOwnerIL)

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ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

When a male dom punishes his female slave, there is likely to be at least some anger or exasperation over her behavior. There is far less chance of causing serious harm to a slave's ass than there is to her face. That's why I think face smacking shouldn't be used as punishment. Some people are into face slapping and I realize that. Why not save face slapping for fun and erotic play? That way the woman doesn't end up with a bruised or bleeding face.

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ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I wasn't trying to sound superior------just judgemental. Imagine a Master smacking a woman hard in the face as punishment, her mouth could start bleeding or even worse if she happened to turn her head as he was swinging, he could break her nose. Either scenerio could happen quite easily. Light erotic face slapping is obviously a different matter entirely. The word consentual was mentioned several times and while I understand very well what the word means, what kind of man would consent to using face slapping as a punishment whether the woman consented to it or not? He should have enough sense to know what could happen. Any man who would take those kind of risks is abusive.

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I think you are projecting worries to this act, just as people project other worries to other acts.  There are risks to most of what we do.  There is always a "what if" scenario.  As for face slapping, I will speak for myself and say

a) Master is never angry when he administers corporal punishment.  Such acts are calculated and deliberate and carried out after anger is removed from the situation

b) If my Master is going to slap my face, I generally know it and see it coming, so it would be foolish of me to turn my head

c)  Master has never doled out a hard smack in surprise.  There have been surprise slaps, but he goes for the surprise element there, so they are typically less forceful

d) I have never had my face smacked to the point of bruising or bleeding.  Master knows where to hit and with what strength, to make his point.  He is not trying to beat me or hurt me with a slap; he is getting my attention.  While slaps have been hard enough to cause me to teeter over, they have never been injurious.  And if one day a smack IS injurious, then we deal with it.  It's one of the risks we (collectively) take any time we make ourselves vulnerable to another.  He doesn't want his property damaged any more than I do.