RE: Happiness

RE: Happiness (Full Version)

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DiurnalVampire -> RE: Happiness (10/28/2006 2:15:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: onlyone48 That is a trap for all DOMINANTS! The only way a sub can be happy is if they serve and please their DOM. So let them do it! If that doesn't make them happy, well I would argue they are not a true submissive. So does that mean its impossible for an unowned sub to be happy? I can assure you that there are things that Angel does to serve me that do not make him happy. He does them becasue he knows he has to, and becasue he knows later on that there will be other things done that DO make him happy. However, not everything asked of someone makes them happy. Some things just are. This sure as hell doesnt make him less of a "true" submissive, or save. It just makes him human. I agree with Bita, I dont want to depend on anyone to make me hapy. On the off chance they are no longer there, that means I either have to learn to do it myself or find someone else to replace them. Too dependant for my tastes. Ultimately, I am responsible for my own happiness. Whom I choose to include in that pursuit and why are my decisions. I expect the same of Angel, he is responsible for his own happiness, though the people and activities he chooses to obtain it may have to go through me. That doesnt make me responsible for his happiness, just making sure he has a backup for common sense. Sometimes, in the pursuit of happiness, some people lack that. DV

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Happiness (10/29/2006 1:56:20 AM)
While I can provide an atmosphere that is condusive to happiness, I cannot force another person to be happy...in fact, I can't force another person to feel or do anything they do not choose to feel or do. And, the reverse it true, too. Master Fire

mons -> RE: Happiness (10/29/2006 1:51:05 AM)
greetings i think it is my place to make my submissive happy i am his world i can make or break this person by how i act to him, if i am uphappy with him and it will show. this will make my submissive wonder and hope it is not him who has displeased me. many submissive live for the dominant and they hope for a smile a touch to signal ( all is well in this home) if he is unhappy it is my place to found out why and what is the reason he is not well , i think this goes without saying , yes it is alot of pressure on the dominant but that is why we are dominants mons

Rover -> RE: Happiness (10/29/2006 5:19:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mons greetings i think it is my place to make my submissive happy i am his world So, you're responsible if he's unhappy with the boss at work, or that his Tuesday night bowling game sucked? What control do you have over the thousands of external things that impact a person's life and emotions each day? And if you have no control, how can you be responsible for it? John

ownedgirlie -> RE: Happiness (10/29/2006 7:33:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rover quote: ORIGINAL: mons greetings i think it is my place to make my submissive happy i am his world So, you're responsible if he's unhappy with the boss at work, or that his Tuesday night bowling game sucked? What control do you have over the thousands of external things that impact a person's life and emotions each day? And if you have no control, how can you be responsible for it? John I think she means his overall happiness. Example: My Master can not control the issues that come at me in life, but he can teach me how to deal with them so that they do not control me, nor do they affect my overall state of mind. I, however, must be open to such teachings, and put them into practice. So I feel I am ultimately responsible, but that Master has a huge influence. Perhaps Mons means something similarly.

subsa -> RE: Happiness (11/2/2006 10:10:23 AM)
julia: i've wanted to post this since last friday but just haven't had the time. i'm not sure if it was my post you were referring to or not. i did say that my Master was responsible for our composite happiness. in no way did i mean that Master was responsible for my happiness. how i feel is entirely up to me. and i feel that every person (slave, sub, dom what ever) is responsible for their own happiness. but Master controls our relationship and so is responsible for the happiness of it (the relationship). He decides when or if we play. He decides the tone of our relationship (ie :if He's serious than i, too, am serious; if He's playful than i follow suit.) He decides if our rules and protocols are being effective or if they need to be added too or modified. through those things he directs the happiness of the relationship. does that make sense? to answer one of yor other questions.... i do work to enhance His happiness by meeting/anticipating his needs but ultimately He is responsible for His own happiness

juliaoceania -> RE: Happiness (11/2/2006 10:23:41 AM)
No, it was not just your post, there were several posts that made me think of this topic. And also I did not feel that you or others were saying that their dom was necessarily responsible for their happiness, but that impression could be gotten from reading certain posts. I wanted to know if people feel that way... It looks like many people don't feel that their dominant is responsible for their happiness...including you...smiles

SweetEscravo -> RE: Happiness (11/2/2006 11:50:17 AM)
Another person can never make you happy long term. The joy has to come from within yourself.

LadyOunce -> RE: Happiness (11/2/2006 11:53:09 AM)
You can't be responsible for another's happiness. You can contribute to it but it's not as if a dominant can order their sub to be happy and expect it to happen. Dozens of things, not the least of which is hormones and chemical imbalances, contributes to a person's feelings of happiness, or lack thereof. Now, a dominant may give the submissive the 'tools' to achieve happiness such as love, affection, training and control but in the end, they can not be the one to make the sub happy. Each person must do that for themselves.

Sinergy -> RE: Happiness (11/2/2006 12:14:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rover quote: ORIGINAL: mons greetings i think it is my place to make my submissive happy i am his world So, you're responsible if he's unhappy with the boss at work, or that his Tuesday night bowling game sucked? What control do you have over the thousands of external things that impact a person's life and emotions each day? And if you have no control, how can you be responsible for it? John A wise Canadian named Red Green once gave me a bit of advice that has served me well in life. When faced with an issue to be solved, simply look at it with an open mind and think to yourself "How can duct tape solve this problem?" Of course, he also had such things to say as "Spare the duct tape, spoil the job" which I suppose works with WIITWD. Just me, etc. Sinergy

truesub4u -> RE: Happiness (11/2/2006 12:56:05 PM)
Hi Julia.... I just seen your post. And before I read any other responses.. I'm gonna respond to you. No..I do not think anyone is responsible for my happiness but me. If I spent my time waiting for someone to ensure my happiness... I would always be alone. LOL No I leave my happiness up to me and me alone. When I am happy... I like to make others happy. When i'm not happy... I would just as soon be alone anyways.

mnottertail -> RE: Happiness (11/2/2006 12:59:00 PM)
Happiness is a warm gun................... John

truesub4u -> RE: Happiness (11/2/2006 7:44:57 PM)
ok I gotta ask....... Ron?.... a gun?.... [sm=confused.gif]

akisha -> RE: Happiness (11/2/2006 8:00:09 PM)
First, let me say i only skimmed the responses so I'm likely going to re-iterate what most everyone else said. The only person responsible for your happiness is you. Others can only infuence you as much as you allow them to. The more you care for someone, obviously the more influence they will have on your but ultimately it's still your choices as to whether you are happy in your life or not. There are so few things we can actually control in our lives, even more so for those of us that are bottoms/ submissives and slaves. Why choose to stay in a situation that makes you consistantly unhappy. To me that is just foolish. I admit it though, I'm an eternal optimist. Even in the middle of a mass disaster I tend to always find something to be happy about. I'm kind of wierd that way [:D] I veiw happiness as a personal choice. I find it easier and better to just choose to be happy. I'm not saying i'm always singing and swinging from the rafters, but when i am down it's never for long for i always find a reason to raise back up and smile.

adommeforu -> RE: Happiness (11/2/2006 8:04:40 PM)
..............is a hard prick in My hand.....................

Powerman40 -> RE: Happiness (11/2/2006 8:07:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adommeforu ..............is a hard prick in My hand..................... WAIT! hard covered in Chocolate.. right ADFU? S

MrThorns -> RE: Happiness (11/2/2006 9:42:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Dominants, do you feel as though it is your responsibility to make a submissive happy? Absoluetely not. I provide the direction, training and environment. Either a submissive is happy with what is given or she isn't. I think a lot of unhappiness in relationships, and I mean both D/s and vanilla relationships, is that people aren't completely honest about who they are or what they want from their partner or the relationship. Just look at all of the stories we read online about some submissive moving across the country to be with The One....who suddenly turns into some emotional trainwreck whos only knowledge of BDSM is what they learned on castlerealm. Somehow, I feel there was probably some level of dishonesty there. Another example might be some singles bar scene and watching some woman become suddenly interested in Classical music...just because the guy she's talking to looks really good in those jeans. When she finds herself sitting through some Viavaldi festival and being bored to tears, it's because the guy she's with is, in her mind, boring. Again, the unhappiness is due to a lack of honesty at the beginning of the courtship. I'm beginning to ramble, methinks... off to bed. Night all, ~Thorns

Sinergy -> RE: Happiness (11/2/2006 10:15:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: truesub4u ok I gotta ask....... Ron?.... a gun?.... [sm=confused.gif] I got an email from one of the posters here tonight who begged to be invited to the Lair to witness me shooting strumpet with a bb gun. I cannot really determine if this resulted from a profound dislike of strumpet and her opinions, or from a completely dispassionate desire to learn a new kink. Just me, etc. Sinergy

AbstractSavant -> RE: Happiness (11/2/2006 11:56:22 PM)
In my vanilla relationships, I always said that each person is responsible for their own happiness, but that both are responsible for the happiness within the relationship. That opinion didn't change when I went kink.

mons -> RE: Happiness (11/3/2006 2:11:35 AM)
greetings i do remember that thread about the happnises of the submissive and how it is the dominant place to keep him happy. but now it is the thought i have on how to be happy when you alone? as a dominant my true happiness is with in me. i must not depend on my submissive to make me happy. i have wonderful thing i do that help me i am more then just a dominant i am a dollhouse maker i am an artist i am a woman who see all the color in the world the blue in the sky or the eye of a love one or the green in the trees and on the grass with my eyes i use them for more the beating or using my submissive i am more then just s dominant i live for more then just that and it is nice and can be wonderful to have that person but i do not need someone to make me happy. so a submissive should have something to make they lives whole someone said " chasing the wind" this is true stay and be still and happy with oneself mons

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