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RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 11:28:11 AM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Could the men here, please translate the following useful phrases into manspeak for the ladies?

1) can you put "Sex and the City" on please?
2) when are you putting out the trash?
3) do you think the lawn needs mowing?
4) could you help me with this?
5) I'm going to the store? (question mark intended)

E

1) Please, go out and have a good night at the strip club, dear. You deserve it.
2) I like the modern art thing going on in the kitchen.
3) I love seeing you ride that giant machine. Can we bring it into the bedroom tonight?
4) I'm fine, honey. Have another beer.
5) Sorry we ran out of beer, hon. I'll buy you some right now.

Please write more intelligibly in the future.

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 21

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 11:31:38 AM

Lorelei115

Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline

No matter how advanced our society becomes, the man in my life will ALWAYS have one gender specific task. Everything else I'm willing to divide up or trade off on or whatever, but the Man's job will always be:

Killing Spiders.

PS- Tre, if you think a stay at home mom or dad has an easy job.. *giggle snort* you have another thing coming!

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to TreSwank)

Post #: 22

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 11:35:43 AM

TreSwank

Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorelei115

PS- Tre, if you think a stay at home mom or dad has an easy job.. *giggle snort* you have another thing coming!

Jeez........wouldn't that be a really hard life. I get to sit around the house, play video games, smoke da' green, and occasionally change a diaper or make formula. It sounds positively taxing, when compared to my present situation of constant work, with little to no spare time. I mean, I already love grocery shopping, so aren't I halfway there?

< Message edited by TreSwank -- 10/31/2006 11:38:33 AM >

(in reply to Lorelei115)

Post #: 23

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 11:37:09 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

If I thought my two grandsons would survive it I would put you thru toddler boot camp for a weekend Spanky.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to TreSwank)

Post #: 24

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 11:37:22 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

yeah, and haul out the garbage while you are at it, saves you having to ask the fuckin' question in the first place.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to TreSwank)

Post #: 25

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 11:39:18 AM

Lorelei115

Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline

Oh what is that country song.. it was sooo long ago... about the trials and tribulations of a stay at home dad. Anyone else know it?

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 26

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 11:40:54 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreSwank

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorelei115

PS- Tre, if you think a stay at home mom or dad has an easy job.. *giggle snort* you have another thing coming!

Jeez........wouldn't that be a really hard life. I get to sit around the house, play video games, smoke da' green, and occasionally change a diaper or make formula. It sounds positively taxing.

erm, no. It would entail abandoning the beer-sex-sport-food thought pattern completely Tre..... sitting around is off the agenda as you'll be chasing UM all over to prevent serious injury, cleaning up the mess as you go and wondering whatever happened to your youthful dreams. Video games? off the agenda as you wont be able to see the TV set for peanut butter smears all over it. Smoking? Off the agenda as the UM will eat your cigs at every chance.

Its one of those jobs that requires continuous and exclusive focus on another. Maybe unsuitable? LOL!

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to TreSwank)

Post #: 27

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 11:41:18 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Instant Karma's gonna get you;
Gonna knock you right in the head;
Better get yourself together..............

Cowboy John Lennon

(Ring any bells?)

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Lorelei115)

Post #: 28

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 11:41:57 AM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

Shoulda been a cowboy, by Toby Keith?

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Lorelei115)

Post #: 29

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 11:42:55 AM

Lorelei115

Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline

Nope. It was sillier than that. That one's good too though!

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 30

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 11:43:16 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Or --

Such are the dreams of the everyday housewife;
you'll see anywhere, anytime of the day...........

Glen Campbell?

Gi' us a wee hint..................

A foreign song perhaps?

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 31

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 11:45:31 AM

Lorelei115

Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline

I only heard it once, but it made me laugh.. Something about sweet potatoes in a lazy chair.

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 32

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 11:47:21 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Wagner? Ride of the Valkyries?

Got me there, pard..........

TEX

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Lorelei115)

Post #: 33

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 11:47:31 AM

TreSwank

Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

Shortly after my twenty-first birthday, I was "adopted" by a divorced woman, who, seeing how I had just went through a devastating life-change, and had no family to back me up, took pity on me in that "I'm gonna change this degenerate young man and have a free babysitter" kind of way.

For about two months, I lived with this woman in Mooseup, CT, free from the constraints of having to work, and with the only conditions being that I would have sex with "said" woman, and look after the kids while she was busting her ass at a warehouse. It was a fabulous "stay at home dad"-like life while it lasted..........until her ex-husband, who knew me quite well (too well), intervened with a threat to get DCF involved (I guess that what "child custody" people are called in CT) because of my "nefarious", booze fueled, irresponsible past. Changing a two year old's pull-up's can be a daunting task, but you've got to look at the big picture. Life without having to clock in to a dreary, soul-less job every day is a life preferable to that the majority of Americans are forced to lead. Those two months were the most comfortable period of my life, ever since I've been living in the Northeast (close to five years).

< Message edited by TreSwank -- 10/31/2006 12:04:40 PM >

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 34

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 11:53:46 AM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

So change the job. Go on salary, like me. It may be soul less, but there's no clocking in.

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to TreSwank)

Post #: 35

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 11:56:55 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Ohhhhh, I would MUCH rather chase T1 and T2 around all day. I would be alot more tired, both physically and mentally at the end of the day.

Trying to come up with acceptable answered for questions like "Gamma, why do the fish gotta stay in the fish tank all the time?" gets challenging. Sitting here at this desk answering stupid questions from adult men is pretty much boring as hell and no challenge at all.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to TreSwank)

Post #: 36

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 12:00:25 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

Want a good answer? Buy some blind cave fish, and let one of them take one out by hand (They're easy to catch, them being blind and all)

Then, as you bandage their hand, ask THEM why the fish have to stay in the water all the time.

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 37

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 12:01:38 PM

SissySean

Posts: 376
Joined: 2/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Ohhhhh, I would MUCH rather chase T1 and T2 around all day. I would be alot more tired, both physically and mentally at the end of the day.

Trying to come up with acceptable answered for questions like "Gamma, why do the fish gotta stay in the fish tank all the time?" gets challenging. Sitting here at this desk answering stupid questions from adult men is pretty much boring as hell and no challenge at all.

So they don't get the carpet wet, silly children.

_____________________________

"I know it hurts too much, I know you're scared. I know you're running out of trust, wishing you were dead. Drown in your misery, you're not alone, come share your tears with me and witness it all go wrong."

Amanda Palmer is HOT!!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 38

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 12:17:59 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

Want a good answer? Buy some blind cave fish, and let one of them take one out by hand (They're easy to catch, them being blind and all)

Then, as you bandage their hand, ask THEM why the fish have to stay in the water all the time.

Yours,

benji

Thru big tear fill eyes and a loud wail.........."Gammaaa why the fish bited meeeeeeeee?"

Kinda like, why T2 had to leave the vapourizer alone......ahhhhhh hot steam.....ouch

I wonder if today would be a good day to tell my story of getting tangled in the electric fence in the dark..........last night.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 10/31/2006 12:24:19 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 39

RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine - 10/31/2006 12:34:58 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

At that age?

Tell the kid that it is because the fish doesn't want to smell his farts...........

they are into scat jokes at that age............

You will be the coolest of the cool Gammies, and they will laugh their heads off.

Gampie Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 40

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