tasha_tart
Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
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***Despite the "In reply to" at the bottom of this post, it is meant to be general, not specific to that individual. My apologies for any confusion caused.***
For what it's worth:
"Alternative lifestyle." Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. 17 Oct 2006, 09:58 UTC. Wikimedia Foundation, Inc. 2 Nov 2006 <http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Alternative_lifestyle&oldid=81968296>.
A couple of exerpts:
An alternative lifestyle is a lifestyle (a mode or style of conducting one's life) which carries the implication that it is not within the generally perceived cultural norm.
Some psychologists today, however, believe that alternative lifestyles are not rebellious in nature but only serve to help the individual find balance, or social or personal identity...
It seems to me that most trans-related issues that are brought up on these boards would fall somewhere in there.
From the top of this message board page:
Alternative Lifestyles Discussion Forums
From the banner that appears at the top of pretty much every page on the rest of the Collarme site:
The Largest Alternative Lifestyles Community on the Planet
It seems that if one follows Collarme's self-description, that trans-related issues are as welcomed by Collarme as any other (within the T.O.S. of course.)
Since Collarme offers "trans" as a choice of gender on the personals side, it seems that trans-folk are welcome to post their profiles.
Nowhere in the T.O.S. is there a requirement that everyone must be b/d oriented, that all must be one of only two genders, or any other exclusionary criteria. As long as you aren't misusing copyright material (and I agree that stealing pics of someone else to make oneself look better falls into that area), posting illegal porn, using Collarme to commit fraud or the like, or generally messing with Collarme's system, you're good to go as far as Collarme is concerned. So railing about *those* people, and how *they* don't belong here is a waste of time, as well as offensive to many.
Something that puzzles me...why does someone that seems to think that males in female clothing are an abomination (perhaps that is a wee bit stronger than it needs to be) go deliberately to "trans" profiles to look at their pictures?
A comment on the OP's first post...the issue you addressed is one that is quite common among CDs (or TVs...take your pick) of my acquaintance. I'm referring to the delayed revelation to his spouse, not the particulars of his sex-life. It is quite common (again, based on those I know, as well as myself...not a universal truth!) to marry "vanilla" at a younger age, not realizing how strong the drive to "dress" may become, or thinking that one can just "stop." Add in the feeling that one is "different" or "dirty" or "sick" because one doesn't feel like he fits the definition of a "real man" and the urge to keep quiet is even stronger.
Unfortunately, all too often, the drive to "dress" or otherwise express one's femme side does not stay put away, and has to be addressed head on with the spouse. This generally does not go well (definitely speaking from personal experience on this one!) and quite often results in the end of the marriage.
Should one be honest upfront? Of course! That's a no-brainer.
Do CDs that break that rule do so with malicious intent? Not in my experience, at least. Unfortunately, as often happens in life, one's bad choices can come back to bite you later on.
Just my $0.02.
Tasha
< Message edited by tasha_tart -- 11/2/2006 11:25:06 AM >
_____________________________
"Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's one of the better ones."...Woody Allen
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RE: Cross-dressing and Acceptance - 
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