RE: No Strings Housework (Full Version)

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damia -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 4:22:37 PM)

i see Your point, and have to agree, but when i hear 'No Strings Housework' i think more along the lines of 'Don't expect any reward for doing this cleaning beyond what you get from cleaning' rather than 'you do it, and get nothing from it at all'. No strings, to me, is saying that you do it because you're told to, and not because you are hoping (or expecting) something for a reward later.



nikaa -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 4:25:40 PM)

But as a submissive or slave that obeys what you owner tells you do (ie doing housework) is not pleasing your owner reward in itself?



sissifytoserve -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 4:29:29 PM)

Ive been approached by "dommes' here on this site for "no strings" domestic service...and when I refused..immediately their response was derogatory and inflammatory.

Things like "What are you..a maid who doesn't clean?" "your a fake" and all kinds of miscellaneous garbage.

I won't be a domestic for anyone who couldn't give a shit about me otherwise.



demistress -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 4:33:50 PM)

I never approach anyone else for "No Strings Housework" but I have been approached many times.  This does not make me a user.  Generally I turn them down unless I think they're cute. *grin*



nikaa -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 4:38:21 PM)

sissytoserve,
 
I understand your distaste for no-strings service,however; to make general statements about Domme's in general in my opinion causes ALOT of issues and it detracts from valid points that you can and do make in your posts.
 
As far as Domme's contacting you in regards to serving as a "no strings" servant, submissive or slave my suggestion is to put in your profile that you are NOT a no-strings domestic servant, slave or submissive. (Yes, I know people have to read your profile to see it)

Edited to add: I noticed that you avoided my questions which is fine, however; it leads me to beleive you only wish to vent and point fingers rather than have a true discussion on the issue.




sissifytoserve -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 4:41:12 PM)

Yeah...especially when male subs are accused of "not reading profiles".


[8|][8|][8|][8|]



sissifytoserve -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 4:46:33 PM)

Telling the truth and expressing your opinion about your experiences is not "pointing fingers".

It is putting forth your view based apon your own experiences.

Nice try.



nikaa -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 4:46:49 PM)

sissyfytoserve,
 
No one group has the monopoly on NOT reading profiles. That is simply something you have to deal with IF you choose to have a public profile on sites such as CollarMe.
 
Edited to add: Please do NOT put words in my mouth or change my statements to suite your purposes.



undergroundsea -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 4:51:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: damia

i see Your point, and have to agree, but when i hear 'No Strings Housework' i think more along the lines of 'Don't expect any reward for doing this cleaning beyond what you get from cleaning' rather than 'you do it, and get nothing from it at all'. No strings, to me, is saying that you do it because you're told to, and not because you are hoping (or expecting) something for a reward later.


I see a different definition for no-strings-housework. I see it to be similar to how it is defined in the OP:

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossySSBBW
My definition is a person enters someone's home, cleans thoroughly in whatever matter of dress that is acceptable to both parties, then the person who performed the tasks leaves.


This arrangement is a valid one and I believe it to exist. I see both subs and dommes to speak of this dynamic. In this arrangement, the service may be the only interaction.

I see the type of service you describe--domestic service within a broader relationship--to be very different. In this case, a sub has many other rewards from the relationship in the form of emotional, pyschological, and sexual satisfaction. Even if the service itself was not enjoyable, there are other aspects of the relationship that motivate or justify this service. When the only interaction is the service, then the service needs to provide enough reward to create a want to continue the relationship.

Also, within a live-in relationship, service without any direct reward can also occur as a distribution of domestic responsibilities outside of D/s dynamics.

Cheers,

Sea



sissifytoserve -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 4:58:33 PM)

quote:


Edited to add: Please do NOT put words in my mouth or change my statements to suite your purposes.


Whatever...think what you want.

Again..if someone contacts me only to USE me for their domestic chores and doesn't even want to make an effort to get to know me
or what I am away from daily life...they can go take a hike...they don't deserve my attention. They aren't dominant.

They are parasites.

How's that for "submissive" ?




Hime -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 5:08:41 PM)

I do believe that the sub does have the freedom to choose whom he or she offers services to if they are not collard.  

For a successful and enjoyable “give and take” relationship or agreement there must be a motivation (not necessarily sex) for the sub to remain focused and loyal.  Perhaps it’s acknowledgement of a job well done, gratitude, or knowing that he or she is playing an important part in the Alpha’s life.  

It’s refreshing to see a sub that values him or herself.




gooddogbenji -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 5:15:17 PM)

I love the randomly angry!

Sissify, all true subs should be into no strings housework.

Yours,


benji



undergroundsea -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 5:16:48 PM)

I have encountered multiple times a scenario where someone--a woman or a couple--was seeking a houseboy and the intent I sensed seemed to be selfish and towards using the submissive without any thought to provide anything in return. One context for this statement is a forum discussion where an Mf couple was seeking a houseboy. What I sensed was this couple otherwise had no interest in dominance over a male sub but wished for the convenience of free maid service and labor. I have seen this response in some dommes also; they seek to obtain free labor without any interest in the submissive.

Incidentally, I attribute this temptation to take without giving to be applicable to people across population in general.

So I think there are some people who approach no-strings-attached service with selfish intentions. They are interested to take without investing any energy into the matter. Understandably, this scenario is a turn-off for male subs who enjoy domestic service unless the idea of being used in that manner feeds emotional masochism for that sub.

Interestingly, I see this scenario to be a parallel of sorts to what is sometimes said about male subs with respect to professional domination. Male subs who are unable or do not wish to provide anything towards relationship or personal wants of a domme can expect that they need to make the experience worthwhile via financial compensation for time. I think anyone who wants labor without giving any energy in return has expectations similar to a male sub wanting play without giving any energy in return. Someone who wants to have domestic labor but does not wish to bother with the wants of the laborer is probably better off hiring professional cleaning services. Otherwise, I expect this person will encounter a series of failed service relationships.

While the supply and demand numbers cloud this parallel, I think it holds logical validity. Also, I think there are some mitigating aspects to the supply and demand matter. Someone who can indeed provide no-strings-attached service (service without expectation of play) and articulate what can make this service a worthwhile endeavor moves into a category with comparatively less supply and comparatively more demand. Furthermore, the demand can be broadened by looking beyond BDSM circles; I see possibility for a realistic service without play arrangement in non-mainstream circles that are tolerant or friendly towards BDSM. I think one can be creative about this matter.

Cheers,

Sea



RosaB -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 7:43:49 PM)

The thought of no strings anything never ever entered my mind till several submissives brought it up to me and only then did I ever start using the term.   But, once I realized "No Strings" was for the most part a hoax,  i've since stopped using it..  Like Demistress, I have been and am constantly approached with this line of no strings domestic service and even upon asking for clarification, it changes once they complete the task, suddenly when you point to the door the stuttering and back tracking what they meant starts.

It's really okay to want more, just stop the nonsense and be rid of the term no strings if you don't mean just that.  Really I an't gonna be mad if you want to suck on my big toe after you're all done with cleaning my bathroom.  I love nothing more than to give a good arse whoppin after you've finished doing a load of laundry, making the bed, serving lunch, etc.  Oh and yes and of course there may even be some mushy tender loving after care in there too.  I'm just sayin is all.  Be straight about it.

Rosa


quote:

ORIGINAL: demistress

I never approach anyone else for "No Strings Housework" but I have been approached many times.  This does not make me a user.  Generally I turn them down unless I think they're cute. *grin*



undergroundsea -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 7:55:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RosaB
Like Demistress, I have been and am constantly approached with this line of no strings domestic service and even upon asking for clarification, it changes once they complete the task, suddenly when you point to the door the stuttering and back tracking what they meant starts.


If a domme asked me about a no-strings-attached service submissive she was considering, I would suggest that she find out what his motivation is to serve. By doing so, she is more likely to uncover a hidden agenda if one exists. And by understanding the motivation to serve, she can better determine whether he is a good fit, and, if so, what he needs in order to remain interested to serve.

Cheers,

Sea



Mistrix -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 7:57:07 PM)

No strings, means none, no strings not a single thread. 
A true sub would even offer a sweet token of his appreciation that he's so ever lucky to even be allowed in My home to clean My floors and vacuum My carpets.  As long as it's both consensual and agreed upon, the connection is there then go for it.  (looking at the floor, noticing a dust bunny) Looks like I'm gonna make a call, hehe.
[;)]



Morrigel -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 8:06:10 PM)

I guess I just don't really believe in "no strings" anything?  It would never occur to me to let someone into my house to do my dishes if I didn't wanna do anything else with/to him.

--M



DiurnalVampire -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 8:07:48 PM)

While I understand the concept of no strings housework, I dont think I can understand its merit outside a functional relationship. I might have to agree with sissify on this topic. I dont see how it can be terribly fulfilling for either party, if someone uses a sub just to get their housework done and thats it. This might be a personal thing, though, becasue I dont get much out of ANY D/s contact unless I get to know the boy or girl I am interacting with.
When I have Angel clean, he does it without any expectation of a reward just for doing his chores around the house.  The housework has no strings attached, it is just part of what he is expected to do within out relationship.  Bringing an outsider in who had only the purpose of cleaning the house, then sending him on his way seems pointless to me.  Yes, Id love not to have to bother cleaning my own house, but I guess I just dont see what someone else could possibly get out of cleaning it for me with nothing more than a pat on the head to look forward to.
*shrug*

DV



undergroundsea -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 8:19:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistrix
No strings, means none, no strings not a single thread. 


If by no strings, you mean no play or no explicit exchange or barter, then I agree with you. However, I think there has to be some reward or expectation for a sub to clean. Otherwise, he would clean just for anyone, domme or not. I expect that in cases you have had a sub clean for you without any play in return, the cleaning itself provided reward for him in a manner that aligned with his motivation to clean.

quote:

A true sub would even offer a sweet token of his appreciation that he's so ever lucky to even be allowed in My home to clean My floors and vacuum My carpets. 


In my opinion, the diverse subjective interpretations of D/s make it difficult in general to define what is true behavior or not. However, I do not think making a tribute is an essential part of being submissive.

Cheers,

Sea



cloudboy -> RE: No Strings Housework (11/5/2006 8:26:29 PM)


I have yet to see a Domme claim she's been able to make it work on a long term basis.



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