quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

For instance, I think the above is an example of bad using. I wonder if it is a sub in a relationship who did not want to do any housework and so he said, hey, why don't we find some other sucker who can do the housework for me. And the domme says, yeah sweetiepie, I'll attract the dude but I don't want to deal with him so you tell him what to do. We'll package it up as if he is serving me ;-)

Some people might enjoy being used like this. I expect more do not.

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ORIGINAL: nikaa

sissyfytoserve,
 
No one group has the monopoly on NOT reading profiles. That is simply something you have to deal with IF you choose to have a public profile on sites such as CollarMe.
 
Edited to add: Please do NOT put words in my mouth or change my statements to suite your purposes.

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ORIGINAL: Elegrea
The most intense and prolonged Dominant/submissive interaction I have personally experienced has been in the Household, doing House work, with multiple slaves working in a hierarchy, with higher ranking slaves doing the instruction to novices while both are supervised by the Dominant and the newer slaves getting the lion's share of the discipline as a result.
But then again, I don't sexually play with my slaves except while they're on the rack, and even then, my crotch stays covered.
They'll fuck one another...but they'll not fuck me. I share my bed with no one, and I like it that way.
It keeps me on Top... [&:]

I don't see anyone who wants to try a hierarchy structure style of submission as being a 'sucker'.
I see them as pretty brave. I do hope they're willing to really suffer, because it's a suck ass way to offer one's submission to a Domme.

quote:

In the past, I've had women actually approach me with the possibility of being their houseslave, and then when they have me over for the first time, they explain to me that I will be working directly for their male submissive "assistant" and I'll probably not see the woman who wanted my service again, or rarely, if lucky.

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

While I agree that no-strings housework does mean house work without any play in return, I think it is important to recognize that there has to be some motivation for one to offer housework and that motivation must be identified and addressed for the service relationship to last.

I think there is potential in no-strings house work for passive dominance, which can sap the motivation a sub might have to provide such service if the sense of D/s is his motivation.

Cheers,

Sea

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn
So, even today, I would LOVE to find a situation where I'm a woman's houseboy, or personal submissive or slave, or whatever. But I'm finding it really hard to even find that. Maybe my past perspective is covered in rosy glasses, but I never really believed it was this hard before. It's like you come really close to finding someone and then it turns into a one time joke (kind of like Rosy O'Donnell's "paint my house" response) where a sincere submissive is cast off with a joke because it's expected that there are so many others out there. And then there are no others that actually show up (other than the ones that show up and want to have their fantasies catered to), so they indicate that obviously there are no sincere submissives out there.

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ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

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ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

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ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

So, even today, I would LOVE to find a situation where I'm a woman's houseboy, or personal submissive or slave, or whatever. But I'm finding it really hard to even find that. Maybe my past perspective is covered in rosy glasses, but I never really believed it was this hard before.

Are you sure you don't want to relocate to Arizona?  I think you are adorable.

Aw, thanks. [:)]

After I finish my latest graduate degree (about a year and a half), who knows where I'll end up.

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ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

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ORIGINAL: Mistrix
No strings, means none, no strings not a single thread. 

If by no strings, you mean no play or no explicit exchange or barter, then I agree with you. However, I think there has to be some reward or expectation for a sub to clean. Otherwise, he would clean just for anyone, domme or not. I expect that in cases you have had a sub clean for you without any play in return, the cleaning itself provided reward for him in a manner that aligned with his motivation to clean.

quote:

A true sub would even offer a sweet token of his appreciation that he's so ever lucky to even be allowed in My home to clean My floors and vacuum My carpets. 

In my opinion, the diverse subjective interpretations of D/s make it difficult in general to define what is true behavior or not. However, I do not think making a tribute is an essential part of being submissive.

Cheers,

Sea

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ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta

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ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

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ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

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ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

So, even today, I would LOVE to find a situation where I'm a woman's houseboy, or personal submissive or slave, or whatever. But I'm finding it really hard to even find that. Maybe my past perspective is covered in rosy glasses, but I never really believed it was this hard before.

Are you sure you don't want to relocate to Arizona?  I think you are adorable.

Aw, thanks. [:)]

After I finish my latest graduate degree (about a year and a half), who knows where I'll end up.

That sounded like a serious offer. You should definately investigate!

BUT if you find yourself in the mid-atlantic region I hope you'll look me up- clean my house, wash my hair and make me something to eat. [:)]

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ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I think it would kind of go without saying that if I was in your neck of the woods, I would definitely look you up. I moved back to California because things just weren't happening in Michigan. But in order to move back to California, I felt I needed something to fall back on, so I accepted a graduate assistantship in Stockton, CA, which now keeps me locked in Stockton (in NOT the fun way) for the next year and a half while I finish a communication degree. And since moving back to California, I realized that I'm in a part of California that is equa-distant from all the places I wish I could be in California.

I seem to be coming across (or being the object of those coming across by) a strange breed of dominant women that really aren't interested in a service submissive but seem more interested in ambiguous conversations that last two emails and then they disappear.

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ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

Hi cloudboy, yes they do exist--as I said they are an abberation. To put it as briefly and concisely, I quote amayos:

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ORIGINAL: cloudboy

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ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

Hi cloudboy, yes they do exist--as I said they are an abberation. To put it as briefly and concisely, I quote amayos:

But its general knowledge that Amayos, a somewhat gifted photographer, is a MADMAN.

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ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66
From what patrice has said to Me...the motivation is to serve.
To feel useful in some way...I believe is what drives most submissives...I might be wrong though.

I have never met anyone so dang excited to see a sink full of dishes,but she is.
It is no pressure,non sexual,housekeeping...she dresses in what I would say is colonial style dresses.I know she feels comfortable here to be herself and just be a servant it fulfills that need of being needed.Thats what I gather from the talks W/we have had before she leaves.I could be way off base...but I doubt it.

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ORIGINAL: cloudboy

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ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

Hi cloudboy, yes they do exist--as I said they are an abberation. To put it as briefly and concisely, I quote amayos:

But its general knowledge that Amayos, a somewhat gifted photographer, is a MADMAN.

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ORIGINAL: onlythewindknows
It could not be for anyone - it would have to be for a Dominant that one at least had respect for, if not a full out exchange.

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In my opinion as the server - there is something to be gained from being brought down a few notches that He or She did NOT want you at all. A subs mind races with the reasons, which may run the gamut of self-pity, jealousy, envy, resentfulness, hope and tolerance.

The actual reasons for the strings-free request are not to be known by the sub, certainly...

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ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

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ORIGINAL: mstrjx
But let's take it further.  Let us imagine that the 'servant' is live-in.  Can't it be said that an adequate motivation for that servant simply to exist 'near' his mistress?  You might not feel that such a male exists, but to me this would be a very 'pure' relationship.

There would be no 'expectation' of a sexual or 'play' relationship outside of that, but the mistress could always 'treat' the servant from time to time in any way she feels.

I think the scenario you describe can indeed exist.

The OP describes a none-live-in arrangement, which is the context for my post. That said, I think my point applies in general.

I am considering this relationship scenario more from a practical standpoint than an ideal standpoint. You could say that ideally a sub would provide no-strings-attached service with a smile on an ongoing basis with no if's and but's. I think reality differs though. I think the success of any relationship depends on the sources of satisfaction and sources of dissatisfaction. For a no-strings-attached service relationship described in the OP, the only interaction or the chief interaction is the service. Thus, how a submissive feels about this service figures strongly into the overall satisfaction felt by the submissive about this relationship.

How a submissive feels about service will depend on how much or not does the service create a burden, which depends on time and energy required, the opportunity cost of this time and energy, and how a submissive feels about such work. Some people enjoy cleaning, some do not. If there is not satisfaction to outweigh the burden, I think the relationship will eventually wither.

I speak of the motivation in a general sense--I do not use it to suggest play or sex. Very few subs clean for the sake of cleaning; otherwise they would enjoy cleaning for all their friends and neighbors. There is something that motivates a sub to clean for a domme. These motivations vary from person to person and maybe one or more of the following: an expression of D/s, an expression of affection or admiration, maid fetish, desire to please, recognition, desire to clean or organize, expectations of a reward in the form of play, more. My point is that whatever this motivation is, it is important to identify it and see that it is addressed. If it is not, I think the service relationship will begin to dissipate.

Cheers,

Sea

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ORIGINAL: undergroundsea


If I understand correctly, you are saying that there is a rejection of sorts in a no-strings service relationship.

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ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

If we can agree that there is some difference in how a dominant and a vanilla taker of the example offer above behave, then the question I ask is what distinguishes a dominant from a vanilla taker of the offer? Certainly it is more than just the label on a profile. I think that difference lies in behavior and BDSM related knowledge and insights.

This distinction is what I attempt when I say that no-strings service can occur, however there is some role for the dominant in receiving it. I think it is possible for a dominant to accept service in a manner similar to a vanilla taker of the offer if it is accepted with the same mindset as the vanilla taker. To keep the submissive interested to continue to serve, the motivation to serve--whatever that motivation may be--deserves attention.

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ORIGINAL: Denny17

I regard the writing positively baroque.  Online forum post are to express one's ideas in a timely fashion.  I dont know about you but when things are too long and wordy, I  pass them up.  Hey sea, hows about bottom lining this in 3 sentences or less pal?