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RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 4:54:52 AM

canupleaseme

Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

i have to say if she cant ask onhere which essentialy is where we come to get infomation and help with regards to any aspect of bdsm then where can she ask ?
Whilst i am sure you may have been able to choose your words a bit moe carefully im fairly sure that either your master doesnt post on here and therfore is unlikely to read what you put which is why you have been so frank or he knows and doesnt have a problem.
Maybe when he found you he didnt find it so hard and has just become complacent and happy to allow the women messinghim about to do that or maybe he is doing it to torment you as he can see your frustration i think really you should just ask him or say to him hey ive had an idea how about we try doing it this way , or maybe even suggest that as his sub/slave (sorry not sure how you term yourself) that you would like to be the one who finds these women for him and then you can sort it out yourself ?
i hope u manage to sort it out

_____________________________

Proud mistress

(in reply to darkclouds)

Post #: 21

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 4:59:46 AM

darkclouds

Posts: 29
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: yaqeta

quote:

he is an idiot and kinda pathetic

They are strong words for someone you respect and admire. It must be unpleasant to watch him judge so poorly with women.... but what is it about that, that makes you so angry?

My instinct would be that figuring that out would clear your head enough to really help him.

Maybe cause it is Election Day here, but I am bothered that you took my words out of context. I only find him to be an idiot and kinda pathetic in one situation. In everything else he is smart, decisive, on the ball, etc. I look up to him as someone who inspires me and motivates me, who only wants the best for me. Your quote is not the overall feel of our relationship.

And I guess that is the reason that it does bother me so much, because in every other way he is brilliant.

(in reply to yaqeta)

Post #: 22

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 4:59:58 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkclouds

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

I'm sorry for not realizing that you obviously enjoy irony.
Most people don't usually start threads that point out their own pathetic nature, let alone that of their Master.

Well, it is what it is. The fact that at times I find him pathetic and stay would only make me question exactly where that puts me. What exactly is the word for more then pathetic?

Any relationship that makes one question their self worth can't be healthy.
Posting on a message board where only one viewpoint is given isn't going to give solutions that can be effective. I'm sorry I was harsh. As someone said previously, maybe it could have been worded differently. I've reacted to the words you've chosen, rather than what you've been trying to say. My apologies.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 11/7/2006 5:00:31 AM >

(in reply to darkclouds)

Post #: 23

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 5:00:03 AM

AlexAussieSub

Posts: 70
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline

Darkclouds,

There's no way you can say for sure what someone's like before you meet them in real-life, maybe you're being a bit harsh on him. Also wouldn't there be a bit of drama if your Master logs onto collarme and reads that he is "an idiot and kinda pathetic"?

(in reply to darkclouds)

Post #: 24

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 5:04:09 AM

darkclouds

Posts: 29
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkclouds

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

I'm sorry for not realizing that you obviously enjoy irony.
Most people don't usually start threads that point out their own pathetic nature, let alone that of their Master.

Well, it is what it is. The fact that at times I find him pathetic and stay would only make me question exactly where that puts me. What exactly is the word for more then pathetic?

Any relationship that makes one question their self worth can't be healthy.
Posting on a message board where only one viewpoint is given isn't going to give solutions that can be effective. I'm sorry I was harsh. As someone said previously, maybe it could have been worded differently. I've reacted to the words you've chosen, rather than what you've been trying to say. My apologies.

I thank you for the apology and please accept mine in return. I admit that my words might have been better chosen, but at the time the situation I described had happened yet again and I had seen it coming for miles. It is hard not to get frustrated and my OP reflected that.

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 25

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 5:54:07 AM

iced05

Posts: 17
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Darkclouds ....... u too emotional too much crave for ur master attention .....tht y u feel shaking when ur master be soft with ur sister slaves mmmm....... why not u ask ur master on him action ...mmm compare u called him pathetic because he dint do the way u feel right he master or u ? .........comeon one of rule be slaves no question ask unless allow too ... ur master dint teach u how to be manners ........ other would give u ideal and opinion but what ur judgement .....god u just little pathetic grow up boy ........................

_____________________________

hi i am simple women from asia intrsted in displines and role paly and fore play for mild bdsm and mild fetish

(in reply to yaqeta)

Post #: 26

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 5:59:25 AM

RubberWitch

Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline

If your master seems pathetic, its because you don't understand the situation. Atlas may seem to strain under his burden, but upon your tiny shoulders the weight would crush you before you could even take the strain.

If something makes your master seem weak, thank him that you never have to take that weight.

_____________________________

Lets roleplay - I'll get the D20s
"Freud was...sorry if this is an over-generalisation...A coke addled kiddy-fiddler" Alan Moore
"A Lady must always remember her station in life - and be prepared to change at Acton Town"

(in reply to iced05)

Post #: 27

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 6:06:27 AM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkclouds

Master is a very intelligent man, but when it comes to people, esp. female submissives, he is an idiot and kinda pathetic. We like to find others to play with us, which we both enjoy, but it is often that I find the women whom he chooses to email with are either fake profiles or just dumb as a stump. They wont email him for days, or be wishy-washy about meeting or talking and he gives them chance after chance after chance.

When he does this, it makes me question him and chances my perception of him a bit. I mean, he is more then likely thinking with his little head, right? But it still makes me want to go "Dude, what the hell are you thinking?! Where is that domly type that i know and love." And the fact that I am his slave makes me think that if he is pathetic, then what exactly does that make me??

Does anyone else ever have to deal with this? How do you handle it? There are times, when I turn out to be right about the flaky woman on the other end of the emails, that I have to bite my tongue so that 'I told you so' doesnt come out of my mouth. Also, I dont particularly like thinking of Master as pathetic, doesnt do well for my head or for my adoration of him. How do I make it better?

A few years back, i was seeing a dom who i really liked and admired in many ways. BUT....he seemed to have a problem with saying 'no' to people....which resulted in a lot of people taking advantage of him. i found this to be extremely irritating. i would ask him why he just didn't say no....and he would say that he didn't want to hurt their feelings....or he didn't want to let them down....or something along those lines. i began to view him as a 'wuss'.....and i ended up losing respect for him....not a good thing in any relationship.

Needless to say...after countless conversations about it....i realized it was just not going to change. See...it wasn't just a behavior or bad habit for him....it was his personality....and that wasn't going to change.

Because of the respect issue, i personally could not stay there...despite the other positive things in the relationship. It just started changing the way i felt about him overall. i even came to realize that he could say no to me as long as i didn't push it....then it was the same as it was with everyone else.

In short, this aspect of your Master may never change so ultimately, you may just either have to live with it....or not. Or perhaps it can change and maybe you are just going to have to 'ride it out' til then. But really, only you are going to have to make that determination. Knowing yourself, which seems most likely for you?

DG

(in reply to darkclouds)

Post #: 28

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 6:11:49 AM

iced05

Posts: 17
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

;) welll welll darkcloud solved ur problem .....................missrubber witch good ways to say ;) like u quo

(in reply to adaddysgirl)

Post #: 29

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 7:32:42 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68
Any relationship that makes one question their self worth can't be healthy.

Not necessarily.

It's often a sign of such, but questioning your worth and how you are valued within a relationship isn't necessarily a death knoll, or a sign of unhealthy relationship. It means that there are serious questions which need to be addressed.

I'll say it again- every master has their weakness. Any master or slave who wishes to deny this may be free to do so, but for the most part, subs and slaves agree to live a fictional truth and ignore all those weaknesses and little "pathetic" parts of their masters, or, as I said in my first reply, they use their own strengths to make up for it (because that's part of what relationships are for- everyone helping eachother).

The OP here, in disguised name which shows just how much of a taboo it IS to be openly critical of one's master, has broken that fictional truth and opened herself to say "OK my master is acting like a total dork here, and I'm not sure how to handle it."

I praise her for her bravery, even in assumed name, and breaking the silence on the "myth of the perfect dom."

Granted, a web forum is pretty much the worst place to get significant advice and support and if she can't feel open enough talking about this with him right away then there's already communication issues. However, a large number of doms out there are extremely insecure and oversensitive when it comes to having their faults pointed out to them by their slave so it's generally understandable.

But, in the end, the only way to deal with this will be direct communication. How direct and how up front and how serious you want to make it is a difficult choice, but it must occur.

Oh and as for the issue of "making public a private issue"- I definitely agree that, in general, the public doesn't need to know about your private problems, but cyber forums allow for a lot more leniency and we've had countless subs ask for advice on how to deal with their doms which have gotten tremendous support. I'd hope that wouldn't be denied to the OP here just because she's breaking a scene taboo.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 11/7/2006 7:35:45 AM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 30

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 8:44:54 AM

MadamShy

Posts: 173
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkclouds

For everyone who has responded, thank you. Some were more helpful then others. To the ones who were worried that I have in someway insulted Master by coming here and asking questions.... do you know who Master is? If he were to post on this board, would you be able to pick him out?

Yes, this is a profile created so that I may ask questions that may seem disrespectful or wrong to some. Where I live (and no it isnt Delaware) I do not have many resources or others with whom I can speak about my relationship and situations in it.

Master encourages me to ask questions and allows me to ask whatever it is that I need to, but this topic seems hard to bring up to him and I wanted to have some input first. I thank you again for anwering, whether helpful or not.

so .. your being sneeky behind His Back ....

if one of My boys ever did this and I found out I would not be just Mad but My heart would be in such pain....

the simple answer to your insulting way of questioning ..

you should look in the mirror and realize No one is Perfect

everyone has weakness's

yours is the way you seem to discribe and word how your Master makes you feel now and again for one ...

this could be explained as a "pathetic" way to convey .... could you Not have used the word "weakness" ...

_____________________________

Madam Shy
Head Domina
Bitch of Club Hell
Providence RI

(in reply to darkclouds)

Post #: 31

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 9:08:44 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadamShy

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkclouds

For everyone who has responded, thank you. Some were more helpful then others. To the ones who were worried that I have in someway insulted Master by coming here and asking questions.... do you know who Master is? If he were to post on this board, would you be able to pick him out?

Yes, this is a profile created so that I may ask questions that may seem disrespectful or wrong to some. Where I live (and no it isnt Delaware) I do not have many resources or others with whom I can speak about my relationship and situations in it.

Master encourages me to ask questions and allows me to ask whatever it is that I need to, but this topic seems hard to bring up to him and I wanted to have some input first. I thank you again for anwering, whether helpful or not.

so .. your being sneeky behind His Back ....

if one of My boys ever did this and I found out I would not be just Mad but My heart would be in such pain....

the simple answer to your insulting way of questioning ..

you should look in the mirror and realize No one is Perfect

everyone has weakness's

yours is the way you seem to discribe and word how your Master makes you feel now and again for one ...

this could be explained as a "pathetic" way to convey .... could you Not have used the word "weakness" ...

If her master encourages her to ask questions then she isn't being sneaky. She is doing something most people do. She is reaching out to others for advice before she goes to her partner and discusses the problem. This is common and healthy in both vanilla and BDSM. Since when did becoming a slave mean that you aren't allowed to questions in a forum that is supposed to be supportive and helpful?

Sometimes doms and masters are idiots. We love them anyway. Sometimes subs and slaves are idiots. They love us anyway. Neither title means infalliable.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/7/2006 9:09:19 AM >

(in reply to MadamShy)

Post #: 32

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 9:15:46 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I am going to agree with LA on this one. For any of us to assume we are perfect is assinine. That includes the choice of words. I am very certain I have typed out a post that was not worded perfectly on more than one occasion.

I am also going to say that I have yet to meet and know another human being that did not have a pathetic moment, especially me.

We SAY we admire honesty and plain speaking (in another thread) yet when someone does we berate them???

PUUULLLEEEEZZZZZZZZZ!!! This is real life people, obviously the OP is someone that is seeing her situation realistically. Unlike some I have seen on here. Get off your uber special WIIWD high horses and cut her a break, she is trying to live it, not just have some internet fantasy.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MadamShy)

Post #: 33

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 9:25:21 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Not to mention thinking of how hard and difficult it is for many slaves to openly question and worry about their doms. They want to be please and be found pleasing- and here they are with all these doubts and questions and to ADMIT them to their dom is something they KNOW the dom won't like and will cause him to be unhappy.

And then a lot of doms make it even worse by actually punishing when a slave presents doubts and honest issues- either purposefully or through their reactions.

There's a lot of imperfect Ms and Ds relationships out there- even the ones that seem wonderful and long lasting and with "respected elders in the scene" have their issues and insecurities. It's extremely taboo for a slave to openly state that their dom has problems...but I'd prefer someone be brave enough to take the fall for that rather than perpetuate the silence that if a slave has an issue, it's a problem with HER and something she needs to keep quiet and ignore.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 34

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 10:14:08 AM

Squeakers

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

I praise her for her bravery, even in assumed name, and breaking the silence on the "myth of the perfect dom."

Excellantly stated LA.

quote:

PUUULLLEEEEZZZZZZZZZ!!! This is real life people, obviously the OP is someone that is seeing her situation realistically. Unlike some I have seen on here. Get off your uber special WIIWD high horses and cut her a break, she is trying to live it, not just have some internet fantasy.

Another excellant statement.

When people realize that Dom(me)'s are not some immortal beings and capable of being human, then only then do we see what 'real life' or 'reality' in the lifestyle is all about. Pathetic may be a harsh reality but it happens. Just so everyone knows, a Dom(me) can get a little crazy, they can misspell words, they can have 'blonde' moments, they even get sick and go to the bathroom just like anyone else.

quote:

you should look in the mirror and realize No one is Perfect

Well stated however,

quote:

this could be explained as a "pathetic" way to convey .... could you Not have used the word "weakness" ...

I didn't see the OP stating she was perfect either---so give her a break on her usage of words.
Sorry but the old cliche of those who stand in glass houses should not throw stones.
The OP asked a very good question and it sure beats some of the same old topics being posted.
Thanks LA and LaTigresse for pointing out the obvious in this post.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 35

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 10:20:34 AM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

Look I saw it as disrespctfull is all it rubed me the wrong way. heck i wouldnt want someone comeing here and pointing out my foults to a bunch of stangers, and i would never do it to anyone els ASPECIALLY not my Master. Im sorry if that upsets people but thats how I feel!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to Squeakers)

Post #: 36

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 10:31:45 AM

Legman1

Posts: 25
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

You can't expect your master to be perfect all the time. No one can hold up to that. The game to find a third is a tough one and your probably just witnessing his learning curve. Not pathetic to learn but may look that way.

(in reply to yaqeta)

Post #: 37

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 10:35:39 AM

Squeakers

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Look I saw it as disrespctfull is all it rubed me the wrong way. heck i wouldnt want someone comeing here and pointing out my foults to a bunch of stangers

If you didn't know it was you being spoken about why would it matter? She protected his idenity and hers as well. Disrepectfully would be if she put his name on the boards and hers as well. Then we could talk about disrepect. What if the situation was different. What if it was something that her Dom did that you actually thought was 'pathetic', such as Master takes all of my money or beats me in front of my children---would have been disrepectful then. Christ we have people asking for help about a Master cheating on them, or not contacting them, or calling them fat or not having sex with them---all sort of pathetic in my book and some of them could care less if they are protecting idenities or not.
The real issue was how should she handle it. Ask to speak freely to your Master. Offer your assistance when looking for play partners and ask to speak freely when you are looking. Simply say---ummm Master, I think this gal won't work for us because....

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 38

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 11:23:14 AM

sophia37

Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline

Im in Darkclouds corner on this one. I dont think the words idiot and pathetic are strong words. They may actually be emotions from my point of view. Im sad for others peoples shortcomings at times myself.

Just do the best you can with it. Kind of ignore it if possible. Or maybe smile silently to yourself. Or be polite but do point out the obvious. Wouldnt a slave or sub be able to watch out for their Master? To help that person avoid mistakes? I think so. So if you care, just undertand the shortcoming and try to do some shoring. Good luck. You sound like an asset and one the Maaster should be proud of.

(in reply to yaqeta)

Post #: 39

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/7/2006 11:48:10 AM

cariad

Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline

LA: i spoke to Master about waiting to find a "sister" and He agrees that for now it is going to be just us, this was after my explaining to Him my fears on the other thread.

i read, re-read and then re-read it again and talked to Him about it after thinking over what you had said and as always you have come up with some really good advice for me and others here.

Thank You LA......

_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to sophia37)

Post #: 40

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