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RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/8/2006 10:09:56 AM

Squeakers

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
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Magik the OP pointed out that she didn't really have anyone else in the lifestyle to talk to so where should she go to get answers and the fact remains she kept his identity private and her own private. If this rubbed you the wrong way---sorry I think that's your problem and not that of the OP.
I still stand by it's a great thread, a great topic and applauds all the great answers she was given.

(in reply to yaqeta)

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Post #: 61

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/8/2006 10:32:06 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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for magic and every one else incensed at this girls honesty...here is some news for ya, every partner, dom or sub, has had these feelings.

and the thing with feelings is that they need to be expressed or they will fester and create seepage that ends up coming out as passive aggressiveness, resentment and whiny gossip.

some might say she should talk to her master about this, but her post is asking for help on how to that.

any one who thinks this is unhealthy, is confusing asking a forum group of peers a healthy question, with using a loud speaker and screaming obscenities.

i want my sub to have as many out lets for expression and information gathering as he/she possibly could.

that way when he is before me, and submitting, i know that he has made the most informed decison to serve me.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to yaqeta)

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Post #: 62

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/8/2006 10:45:52 AM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
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Ok Look this is just my opinion and that is all, it doesnt mean much so i dont know why everyone els really cares. I said what I thought and that was all. I am sorry if my opinion in any way upset anyone els i honestly didnt mean to anger anyone (I was running a fever of 101.3 when I posted my first post here not that its a good excuse but I wasnt thinking or even beeing very diplomatic and i prolly should have kept my thoughts to myself so Im sorry about that and after that I was just defending a bad choice of not keeping an opinion to myself, trying to save face so to speak) What it boils down to is this was just my opinion of the issue that is all I felt it in poor tast but she has a right to post what ever she wishes here and i never said she didnt. She needed advise that is fine, I have nothing against her needing adives, my issues came in I think with the word pathetic I just cant emagine someone calling their Master or anyone they love pathetic on an open boards aspecially not ones Master. it is how I feel and that is all. I really didnt mean to upset anyone which it seems I have and for that I apologise.

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 11/8/2006 10:46:43 AM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

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Post #: 63

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/8/2006 10:56:46 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkclouds
...Does anyone else ever have to deal with this? How do you handle it? There are times, when I turn out to be right about the flaky woman on the other end of the emails, that I have to bite my tongue so that 'I told you so' doesnt come out of my mouth. Also, I dont particularly like thinking of Master as pathetic, doesnt do well for my head or for my adoration of him. How do I make it better?...

the part about thinking he is an idiot and pathetic when it comes to certain things--not all, but certain things, as well as mentally screaming "Dude!! what the hell are you thinking!!" has occurred to this slave before, but not in a relationship that was defined by either of us as Master/slave.

this slave tried different tactics of trying to make it better, including communicating in a non-hostile way about the thing this slave felt was pathetic and idiotic, soliciting "professional" opinions, seeking spiritual guidance all from relative strangers as well as strange relatives and many more things this slave won't bother to mention here, but came to the same conclusion each and every time~accept it or leave, because changing him wasn't going to happen.

if this slave ever felt about Master the way you do about yours, she would say so, to HIM, respectfully, first, before ever coming to a message board with it or soliciting the advice of other lifestyle-friendly folks or a kink friendly psychologist or this slave's mother, etc., etc.

(in reply to darkclouds)

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Post #: 64

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/8/2006 10:56:54 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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its all good, i got a lil snippy myself..this is a hot button for me because i was the girl scared to ask questions and scared to be honest and i did see how that festered became resentment and we did eventually move to a point of no return.

ps sorry you have a fever.....i hope you feel better soon

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

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Post #: 65

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/8/2006 11:07:28 AM

toy2006

Posts: 11
Joined: 9/5/2006
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I have found that guys tend to be pathetic sometimes. Every guy. It's the nature of the beast. Not to say that women aren't pathetic; I didn't mean that; they are at times.

I think the biggest problem most of us subs have is putting Master on a pedestal, then freaking out when S/He falls off. Seeing Him as pathetic does come around, I've found, but then I have to remember that I"m pathetic too. But we put them so HIGH on that pedestal; it really is traumatic when they fall off. Specially that first time. After you finish putting Humpty Dumpty together again, it's a whole new organism and how do you deal with that?? Where's the Master i adore?? He's WHAT????? HUMAN????? oh no....

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

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Post #: 66

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/8/2006 11:33:41 AM

Fawne

Posts: 462
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quote:

ORIGINAL: darkclouds
In some of the other responses that I made I went through many reasons why I am with him. I made a commitment to stay, I love him, and in all others ways, he is a very good Master for me.

Why, if I have a problem with things that he does in one area of our relationship, does that mean that I dont like him or want to be with him? Do you always like every bit of the person you are with? Are they not allowed to have faults or quirks that you, eventually, find irksome?

And I am not talking about the ones who dont respond or who take days to respond, people are busy... I know I am. And, often, I am not the one talking with them in the beginning, Master is, so how would my view of them effect them responding in any way, shape or form?

Hi darkclouds.

Sorry to be so rough on you. Thank you for calling me on it too, as I tend to sound glib, even harsh online sometimes and regret it. I'm much nicer in person.

We all have our bad days.

You seem to understand. Sure, you can be annoyed at your partner and still love and respect them. Such as life.

To answer your direct question: I wasn't clear it was he alone who usually contacted them. I do believe your views could color the situation , even if indirectly. I am one of those who believes energy put out to the universe, attracts the same vibe. You sound hostile about the girls and situation right now. But of course, I may be wrong.

Best wishes and good luck to you both.

humbly, fawne

(in reply to darkclouds)

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Post #: 67

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/8/2006 12:12:54 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Ok Look this is just my opinion and that is all, it doesnt mean much so i dont know why everyone els really cares. I said what I thought and that was all. I am sorry if my opinion in any way upset anyone els i honestly didnt mean to anger anyone (I was running a fever of 101.3 when I posted my first post here not that its a good excuse but I wasnt thinking or even beeing very diplomatic and i prolly should have kept my thoughts to myself so Im sorry about that and after that I was just defending a bad choice of not keeping an opinion to myself, trying to save face so to speak) What it boils down to is this was just my opinion of the issue that is all I felt it in poor tast but she has a right to post what ever she wishes here and i never said she didnt. She needed advise that is fine, I have nothing against her needing adives, my issues came in I think with the word pathetic I just cant emagine someone calling their Master or anyone they love pathetic on an open boards aspecially not ones Master. it is how I feel and that is all. I really didnt mean to upset anyone which it seems I have and for that I apologise.

Magik's slave

I don't you have upset anyone but, as with all opinions, they are subject to change and I think that some of us are trying to point out the opinion of "I must discuss *everything* with master first" can lead to some bad stuff. You don't always know the most respectful way to say something to your boss/mother/whatever so you talk to your friends about it. Why can you suddenly not discuss these things with friends or a community that understands where you are coming from first just because the person involved is your master? Sometimes other people, who are more objective about the situation, can be extremely helpful in finding nicer ways to say "Dear God your breath is foul!" Why can't she seek advice to find a better way to say "Umm sir... you are being really stupid."?

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

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Post #: 68

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/8/2006 7:41:34 PM

AvalonGoddess

Posts: 7
Joined: 10/7/2006
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Seems like we are all dodging the real question here. My former Master spent hours a day trolling the internet for other subs and had one official online sub that he talked to several times a day when he took me on in the "real" world (called me owned but not collared, we lived in the same town but not together.) I admit now that I am a jealous type never suited for polyamory, and he knew it hurt me for him to skimp on attention to me as he searched for what I gradually came to realize would be my replacement. He would even chat with them during our few hours a week of being together in person. It's rude to neglect one while you look for another, even on the guise of it being a playmate for you both (you don't seem all that interested in that aspect.) Needless to say our relationship only lasted a few months before I asked for release, even though I was madly in love with him.

I know how addictive it can be to "shop" online for a potential lover... it's thrilling and aggravating and disappointing in turns... but maybe what you are really concerned about is how much attention he is giving to this "hobby" when he could be paying attention to you.

Sincerely
AvalonGoddess

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

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Post #: 69

RE: When Master seems pathetic... - 11/9/2006 6:13:54 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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It appears that you are attracted to different types of women. I'm not sure what constitutes an obviously fake profile, perhaps they're nonorganic, nor how one would immediately spot one. But as far as waiting for a response, that seems very wise. Second female subs are highly desirable and very rare, so if he were to cross off everyone that doesn't immediately write back and say "Yes, I don't want to be the person held at night whose emotional needs come first" then he wouldn't ever get an answer.

(in reply to yaqeta)

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Post #: 70