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RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/15/2006 11:32:22 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline 		  Musta missed this thread....

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

I'd 'draft' Walmart, Old Navy, and Starbucks, and require them to open sites all over Iraq, lending ruthless military support to their security.
We could win their hearts and minds the old fashion way- buy it.
 
I would require Halibution exectutives and their families to use VA medical care exclusivly.
 
I'd require every member of the legislature to enlist one of their children in the military as an enlisted soldier to be sent to Iraq.
 
I would offer the UN full oversight (but not command) of our operations overseas, and respond to thier concerns.
 
I'd push a 10%, no exemptions, tax code therough congress, holding both the houses sequestered until it passed.
 
I'd give illegal immigrants 90 days to get on the books, or leave the country, and eliminate quotas.
 
I'd lay a serious tax on outsourceing labor, raise the minimum wage, and start a CCC type low income home building program.


Your idea's are much to my liking, Topcat ; }

quote:

Aileen, no problem, I put this up here for people to have some fun with.
Run with it.


Say Popeye..... 

Kudos to you for always letting stuff roll off your back in a good natured way. Collarme should regulate the Michael criticisms to the random stupidity part of the boards - We're too busy here trying save the world ; }






 - R


_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/16/2006 12:57:42 AM   
dorsaisgirl1


Posts: 156
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		ok if i where the president i would give a tax break to all thoughs makeing 40k or less a tax raise to thoughs makeing 100k or more i would spend more on education and everyone would have full health care .there would be a seperation of church and state .i would try like hell to fix the mess george bush created i would try to get the national debt down .i would not want to be paid for being president that would save the government right there..i go with more economic and earth friendly energy sources get thoughs water and solor powered cars on the road talk to the mayers and goveners of different states about mass transit and try to get more people to use it .i would personaly go to the rain forest and plant some trees .

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/16/2006 4:36:05 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I'd make everyone have cream teas at eleven am every day.
Every house would have a corgi.
Everyone would have speech therapy so they would speak with a British accent.
I'd blow up the white house (ugly building).
I'd restructure the education system so you werent so far behind us.
Oh and for Ron - i'd ban blow jobs being performed on all men over 40.

 

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to dorsaisgirl1)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/16/2006 5:03:56 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I would look to get my dick sucked alot, and let most legislation languish...........

Let the machine catch up, kinda thing........

Then I would get a rim job and spearhead meaningful National health care.

Then I would get my dick sucked again, and while doing so, ponder ways to get the National Science Foundation and all the other research granting institutions of the US  to figure out how to grant money on the order that Reagan did to Star Wars Technology into  recycling, reusing  and  fossil  fuel alternatives.

At that point, I would probably go back to getting a rim job,  and  clear up the tax code with a sanctified ruthlessness that can only come from a man that has a wonderfully warm and wet tongue buried in his ass.

Then I probably would just get my dick sucked as the lame duck president and build my presidential library in Orgasm, Minnesota.

My name is Ron, and I have approved this message.



   Eh.. but then  you'd have to reinstate Rumsfeld..

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/16/2006 5:16:00 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		If I were president I would be...........................................rich

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/16/2006 6:22:43 PM   
MistressTexas


Posts: 425
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressTexas

I would have plans in place for a zombie holocaust. I really would.


MTexas, could you enlighten us on "zombie holocausts?"


Yeah sure, why not.. I haven't filled my quota for crazy yet today. Ok, by zombie holocaust, I basically mean a "Dawn of the Dead" or "Land of the Dead" situation. Or even a "Resident Evil" situation. I think that zombies will eventually become a reality. (sigh, told ya I was gona sound nuts) But think about it, we can already "bring people back from the dead" what with heart attacks, hypothermia, drowning etc. Who on earth knows what'll happen in 20-30 years.
In any case, a friend of mine and I had a nice long zombie movie marathon (which is probably where I got all these silly ass ideas), and it really annoyed me how stupid people were. After the movies, we got into a long discussion about how things might have worked out better. So, if I were president, I would have plans in place for a zombie holocaust. When I got (verifiable) reports of the dead coming back to life, martial law would be implemented immediately.  The military would immediately seize control of all ammunition factories, Costco, etc etc etc. There would be a temporary emergency truce between all countries as worldwide safety measures were implemented. Graveyards would either be razed, or at least cemented. You know, a 12 foot deep, 4 foot thick trench dug around the perimeter, and 6 feet of cement on top. Just for fun. All available militaty personel will be directed into sniper and/or air force training. Judicious use of carpet bombing would go into effect. The top genetic researchers, doctors, and scientists would go into immediate quarantine at a "safe lab" while attempting to figure out a cure. If and when a cure was achieved, it would be remotely released. There would be none of those namby pamby PSA's... Initial messages would cite a biological warfare attack to dissuade people from leaving their homes, and later would explain the effects of the "biological warfare." Considering people are much more likely to take military  presence calmly when they think therye in a hot war. lol in any case, theres a lot more to it, but I've sounded quite psychotic enough for today.

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/16/2006 7:36:45 PM   
Mikida


Posts: 27
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		all those replies were Wonderful! but i got one for the history books

If I were President ------------ a would make it that during a regular work day there would be a mandatory 15 minute toy time. You could use that time to play with any vintage toy that makes you happy. (My personal fav. is the pocket sized metal slinky).

I would also stop all foreign aid to 3rd World Countries until we fed, educated, and housed the homeless in our own country. I just find it sad that we spend billions to help other ppl when two blocks down from the White House a Veteran is rummaging through a trash bin praying for something to eat.

I would also fire everyone in Congress and bring in average regular people for advice. Growing up in the country I have had the pleasure of meeting a lot of "country-folk" with more then their fair share of common sense.

As for foreign policy - all meetings will have Kool-Aid and Teddy Graham cookies served. Diplomatic matters will be discussed in a round circle BeanBag meeting. (childish but who can be angry with cookies, koolaid, and squishy chairs).

...and that's what I would do if I were President

_____________________________

The problem with foolproof plans is they often underestimate the ingenuity of fools.

(in reply to MistressTexas)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/16/2006 10:42:03 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Ranger, thanks, I'm pretty easy going anyway.
As for Micheal and his sexual proclivities I'm not predjudiced.

Texas, that would be fun, we could go out with people in the back of pickups getting all liquored up and do Zomby Shoots!

Mikida, I agree with you on that "foreign aid" crap and I dare say most Americans would agree with you as well.
Too many people in Washington making too much money from that outdated crap.

(in reply to Mikida)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/17/2006 3:16:00 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Do we need more, or do we need to use what we have? Because some pretty asinine lawsuits get filed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

There already ARE legal sanctions against frivolous lawsuits.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
We'd pass legislation banning frivoulous lawsuits.



_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/17/2006 11:00:17 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Do we need more, or do we need to use what we have? Because some pretty asinine lawsuits get filed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

There already ARE legal sanctions against frivolous lawsuits.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
We'd pass legislation banning frivoulous lawsuits.




That's because there is a *huge* oversupply of  lawyers .
I just counted 55 pages of "Attorneys" in the Yellow Pages here!
FIFTY FIVE PAGES!
Counted the pages for "Plumbers"; 12 pages.
Try and get a plumber! It takes weeks!
When is the law of supply and demand going to kick in on lawyers?
I think it's time to close down the law schools again for a few years like they did back in the 1980's.
And they all seem to think they're worth $200 per hour!
A Plumber has more education than a lawyer does but people bitch if they charge $80 per hour.
You can become a lawyer in about 7-8 years.
It takes 10-12 years to become a Master Plumber and it involves a lot of math.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/17/2006 11:43:20 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		If I was president I would get one of my co workers to give me oral sex but I'll get away with it

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/17/2006 3:34:53 PM   
NeedToUseYou


Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JerseyKrissi72

If I was president I would get one of my co workers to give me oral sex but I'll get away with it


I start on monday as Secretary of Oral affairs, payables and receivables. Now you aren't going to be President of the United States, or world or anything fancy like that. But you can be president of the back yard, and rule over the local population(critters, and vegetations) with a Iron fist. Hey it's a start. LOL, sorry couldn't resist.

(in reply to JerseyKrissi72)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/17/2006 4:41:40 PM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Do we need more, or do we need to use what we have? Because some pretty asinine lawsuits get filed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

There already ARE legal sanctions against frivolous lawsuits.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
We'd pass legislation banning frivoulous lawsuits.




That's because there is a *huge* oversupply of  lawyers .
I just counted 55 pages of "Attorneys" in the Yellow Pages here!
FIFTY FIVE PAGES!
Counted the pages for "Plumbers"; 12 pages.
Try and get a plumber! It takes weeks!
When is the law of supply and demand going to kick in on lawyers?
I think it's time to close down the law schools again for a few years like they did back in the 1980's.
And they all seem to think they're worth $200 per hour!
A Plumber has more education than a lawyer does but people bitch if they charge $80 per hour.
You can become a lawyer in about 7-8 years.
It takes 10-12 years to become a Master Plumber and it involves a lot of math.



[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[



Popeye:
Like ol willie said "first we kill all the lawyers"  I am in agreement with you here.  BTW it only take two years to get a law degree.
thompson

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/17/2006 4:48:29 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Yeah, but you need an undergrad.

And please don't kill them all; some should be saved for Nanking-like games.

Yours,


benji

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Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to thompsonx)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/17/2006 5:02:49 PM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fergus

I've been turning this over in my mind ... the only scenario I can concieve of in which I could ever POSSIBLY become president would be some freakish accident in which EVERY OTHER PERSON ON EARTH were to disappear and leave me with the keys.

If that happened, then I would have to disband the US government altogether, declare myself "Emporer and Dicator for Life" and rename the country "fergania".

And hope each day that I didn't break my glasses JUST while reaching for that first book I suddenly now had the time to read.

fergus


Replaying an old episode of The Twilight Zone here?

I believe that was the one with Burgess Meredith.

(in reply to fergus)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/17/2006 6:42:38 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		I'd send Glenn Beck to fight in on the front line of Iraq.

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/17/2006 7:01:04 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I'd blow up the white house (ugly building).


Perish the thought! Wasn't burning it enough for you?

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/17/2006 7:04:21 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		I would introduce socialised medicine like we have in Australia. USA is a great country but I think their medical system sucks.

_____________________________

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Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/18/2006 8:31:42 AM   
fergus


Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

quote:

ORIGINAL: fergus

I've been turning this over in my mind ... the only scenario I can concieve of in which I could ever POSSIBLY become president would be some freakish accident in which EVERY OTHER PERSON ON EARTH were to disappear and leave me with the keys.

If that happened, then I would have to disband the US government altogether, declare myself "Emporer and Dicator for Life" and rename the country "fergania".

And hope each day that I didn't break my glasses JUST while reaching for that first book I suddenly now had the time to read.

fergus


Replaying an old episode of The Twilight Zone here?

I believe that was the one with Burgess Meredith.


Well SOMEONE got the reference ;)

Thanks subfever.

fergus

(in reply to subfever)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: "If I were the President I'd....." - 11/18/2006 9:21:06 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		If  I was president of the United States I would make the poor rich and the rich poor so they could see how the other half live (kidding of course..wish i could if only for a day)

(in reply to fergus)
Profile   Post #: 100
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