Laws That We Wish Existed

Laws That We Wish Existed (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity

Message

Gauge -> Laws That We Wish Existed (11/16/2006 3:35:38 PM)
OK folks... in the great spirit of the rise of stupidity and the decline of human decency here is a thread to place the laws that we wished existed but do not. This may apply to everyone and everything. Your only limits are your imagination and your rage factor. Here is the way I would like this to work... call it my first law. Post your law and then, to make it a little more fun, give us a little background on why you want this as a law. If you see fit to declare a suitable punishment for violation of your law then do so but it is not required... but actually might be fun to think about. OK... I am going to start off with a law just to get the ball rolling. * Last night I went out to see a bar band. On the way home we decided to stop at a donut shop to get some goodies. Since there was a big sign on the door that the drive through was only open at that hour we elected to order that way. We pull in to the drive through and this Indian gentleman (now don't jump my ass because I single some nationality out... this is not that type of thread) comes on the speaker (which is tough enough to understand to begin with) and with a thick Indian accent he says something to the effect of, "We have coffee, may I help you buddy?" I thought he might not have donuts so I asked him to repeat himself. He did. The second time was not better. I asked a third time and there was no improvement. I got aggravated because ordering a tasty treat should not be frustrating and I told the guy to forget it and we went elsewhere. My law: In order to do business in America your speaking must be understood by 90% of the people you do business with or you must close your place of business. For Violation of the Above Law: Anyone violating the above law will have to sit in a similar drive through under the same conditions and will be given a list of things that they must order. OK... have at it! Here is your chance to change the world in which we live!

cuddleheart50 -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/16/2006 3:44:08 PM)
My Law.... There will be no automated calls, when the phone rings a person will answer it!!! Violation.... Anyone violating this law, will have their tongues cut out!!!!!!!!!

fergus -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/16/2006 3:49:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50 My Law.... There will be no automated calls, when the phone rings a person will answer it!!! Violation.... Anyone violating this law, will have their tongues cut out!!!!!!!!! Very extreme! Yet, somehow very justified. My law is not born out of rage. My law: Whipped Cream bikinis will be required corporate attire. Violation of the law: you must lick off the whipped cream bikinis of three or more co-workers. I reckon if that went into effect, I would give up trade work and get a corporate job. ;) fergus

JerseyKrissi72 -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/16/2006 3:49:22 PM)
My Law:: There will be no more annoying commercials that keep me singing those annoying jingles in my head for days....ban all commercials!! Violation:: Being caught trying to make a commercial and be forced to listen to me sing for hours off key ....la la la la[8D]

Arpig -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/16/2006 4:29:10 PM)
quote: My law: Whipped Cream bikinis will be required corporate attire. Er,,,fergus, you may want to rethink this one. An awful lot of corporate types are very out of shape old men. I am all for equality, but believe me, you don't want to see my fat hairy self in a whipped cream bikini.

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/16/2006 5:31:04 PM)
On the way to work this morning, I was behind what I thought was a drunk driver. He kept veering out of his lane, then over-correcting when he realized what he did. Cautiously, I passed him...then saw the real culprit--a cell phone. I have noticed this a lot recently. Some folks simply cannot multi-task and are a danger on the road when they try to talk on the phone and drive at the same time. Some states have passed a law banning cell phone usage when driving, and I would like to see the state of Texas do the same. Punishment for any infraction: I would imagine the other states impose a stiff fine and Texas should do the same. I am always hearing how the state is short of money for education, and I advocate that all money collected from these fines be devoted to that cause.

Gauge -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/16/2006 7:06:19 PM)
I have a neighbor that lives in an upstairs apartment. She is loony. I mean full goose Bozo. She is the bane of anyone that lives in the apartment below her. Thankfully, I do not. Any little noise, I mean, a mouse with a gastric problem would be reason enough to involve the police. She looks in people's windows and one evening on one of my late night walks around the block with my oldest son, we came around the corner to observe her (what only could appear to have been) her pissing on the apartment front lawn. So, I have a law: My Law: Anyone that is too immature, irritable, or otherwise crotchety to endure the few noises that others make in the privacy of their own apartment should have to be forced to live in a glass apartment. Punishment for Violation: If the person refuses to live in the glass apartment, then their apartment front door will be removed and the others in the building will be allowed to go watch TV or play their stereo in the offenders apartment at any hour that they see fit. The "guests" will also be allowed to randomly wake up the offender to ask where the bathroom is or if they have any beer or soda.

Daddysredhead -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/16/2006 8:33:19 PM)
Just to keep it short and sweet... If you annoy me, make me feel small or uncomfortable, or make me feel bad, I get to dole out whatever punishment I desire at that time... It can be as minor as taping your mouth shut to using my bare hands to fucking kill you... slowly and oh so painfully... just because it's my law and I'm the judge, jury, and executioner... and I can do what I want.[sm=sodoff.gif] (I'm having a bit of an attitude problem tonight... sorry.)

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/16/2006 8:37:58 PM)
That all stupid, narrow minded individuals should have to all live together. So they can irritate themselves instead of me. [;)]

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/16/2006 8:39:42 PM)
i wish it were a law that someone that qualified people would always be hired for the jobs they apply for.

Mikal -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/16/2006 10:12:26 PM)
My aunt's cat says: All people would be required to serve their cats in whatever capacity the cat wants & needs. To violate this means instant & certain death followed by reincarnation as a mouse. [:D]

Arpig -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/16/2006 10:25:31 PM)
quote: Any little noise, I mean, a mouse with a gastric problem would be reason enough to involve the police. Damn Gauge! I didn't know you lived in my building! I am the one who lives downstairs from her, and guess what...the noises don't even have to be real. Twice we have been awakened by the police knocking on the door to make sure nobody was in pain or trouble...sheesh, I know I snore, but if it doesn't wake the girl next to me it really shouldn't wake somebody upstairs!

Saraheli -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/16/2006 11:27:34 PM)
I should be allowed to smack people for being stupid. Someone should be allowed to at any rate. I'd prefer it was me.

RubberWitch -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/17/2006 12:01:00 AM)
Anybody found producing, purchasing or otherwise employing Burberry style material for any purpose other than garment LINING, will be shot. On sight. All video rental and retail stores shall store all Paul Verhoven, Paul Anderson and Ewe Bol films behind locked grating, and administer an IQ test to anyone wishing to see them. Access shall be limited to those who fail. Anyone failing to concur will be forced to watch these titles themselves. J

RazorJAK -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/17/2006 12:10:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RubberWitch All video rental and retail stores shall store all ... Uwe Bol films behind locked grating, and administer an IQ test to anyone wishing to see them. Access shall be limited to those who fail. Anyone failing to concur will be forced to watch these titles themselves. I love you. And fixed the spelling for you. ;-) Looking at the new Spiderman trailer makes me think Sam Raimi has had his brain replaced with Herr Bol's

RubberWitch -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/17/2006 12:16:43 AM)
Nope, the studios just understood the purchacing power of emo/scene kiddies. le sigh And don't expect good spelling, not this early.

RazorJAK -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/17/2006 12:26:33 AM)
Oh wasn't referring to the whole black suit storyline. I was referring to the raping of canon portrayed in the trailer which makes SP2 seem like it was written and directed by Stan the Man himself. Sandman killed Uncle Ben? Ummm what? Harry Osborn becomes Night Surfer? Again, WTF? (- I could see him becoming another Green Goblin as he did in the mainstream Spiderman continuity. I could see him becoming Hobgoblin as he does in the Ultimate Spiderman continuity. But what the fuck is NIGHT SURFER? Sounds about as stupid as when they put Morbius in the cartoon and had him draining peoples life energy with his hands. -) Yes, I'm a geek. My law? Any movie director pulling a Uwe Boll or Joel Schumacher shall be put in stocks in the village square for a fortnight.

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/17/2006 6:17:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mikal My aunt's cat says: All people would be required to serve their cats in whatever capacity the cat wants & needs. To violate this means instant & certain death followed by reincarnation as a mouse. [:D] My cats totally agree! Lady Topaz.

SohCahToa -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/18/2006 2:18:03 PM)
Public transportation ordinances 25102 subsection B: All bus drivers should meet a certain driving standard and realise their passengers are not boxes of crap on a back or a truck. A bus driver failing to comply with the above law should be punished in accordance with the stated law: The bus driver will be placed in a gigantic barrel and rolled down a very steep hill with shear drop at the end. If the bus driver survives it is a sign from God he may still drive a bus.

LadyEllen -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/18/2006 4:21:27 PM)
I shall be legally entitled to own a large calibre machine gun, for use in public places. It shall be made illegal to maraud up my road from midnight until 3 am, shouting, screaming, vandalising and fighting due to intoxication. The penalty for such drunken behaviour shall be, to experience my ability to hack legs off with a large calibre machine gun, even in low light conditions. E

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.0625