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RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 3:42:27 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkiminx

Well my ex Dom was always away on business, and that doesn't bother me too much as long as someone is honest and reliable!
But I wouldn't want to be in a LDR if there was no intention to move closer to each other or we could only see each other less than a weekend every two weeks.

 
Kinki,
 
Without any possibility of future live in, i see that a lot of LDRs could not work.  It seems that gives most the 'incentive' to be able to put up with the time apart....knowing that it would lead to an eventual physical union. 
 
i see what you are saying.....either there is some means to live together eventually (or at least closer)....or at least be close enough for weekends (of some sort).
 
Have you had much luck with finding a partner in your area?
 
DG

(in reply to kinkiminx)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 3:44:21 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		If in an LDR, how long have you been involved?
10 months (if you are talking from when we met in real time)
How far apart do you live?
230 miles
How often do you get to see each other?
Twice per month
Do you have any definite plans of eventually living together?
No.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 3:46:53 PM   
QuietDom


Posts: 255
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

LDRs are a hard limit for me.
 
Once is more then enough.


crouch,

Sounds like maybe you had a bad experience?  So you would only be open to a potential partner within say reasonable driving distance?  Or only right in town?  Under those conditions, what have been the prospects for you?
 
DG



CT is in Hawai'i.  What most of us might consider a 'reasonable driving distance,' she can't drive unless she borrows James Bond's Lotus Esprit.

(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 3:51:30 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShyMistress

I/We have yet to get involved in any serious LDR's. Most of My/Our pleasure and interest in the lifestyle is based around the ones We choose and Our daily interactions with them, so LDR is only for as long as it takes to determine that one is right for Us. I suppose in certain circumstances I/We may feel compelled to try it, like when you meet that perfect submissive but they are half the world away...but even in that case I would be working with the goal of them eventually joining Us on a permanent basis.


So Shy, it sounds like it might be of interest to you if it seemed like it could really work out?  So you wouldn't discount a possibility if it were LDR but beforehand, you would have to be pretty sure it seemed like something that would eventually be permanent? 

DG

(in reply to ShyMistress)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 4:03:47 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressYlwa

My boy and I have been together for a year now. He is in Florida. I was in Arizona, now in Texas. We generally meet once a month, though he will be spending most of Dec and part of Jan with me this year.

We do plan to live together and will at the end of the school year. He cannot leave the university, at this time, and I will not live in Florida. Been there, done that, don't want to do it again. A personal preference.

Have had a few LDR's in my life and was lucky that most were genuine. But have talked with several that weren't. I do think it is worth it, if the person you meet is.  I have a wonderful man in my life and we give each other what we need. Intelligence makes the conversations interesting and fun. I can't complain about LDR's.


Mistress Y,
 
Wow.....sounds like you have been able to work out the relocation thing.  So just a few more months (like 6 or 7)  you will be with him in a live in situation?  What a great thing to look forward to!  i bet you are as excited as he!  Wishing you the best and hope that you will let us know how it goes 
 
DG
 
 

(in reply to MistressYlwa)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 4:19:36 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ElektraUkM


I've been with my Master for 2 and a half years. The first year of that was online.

We live about 2 hours apart (by car).

We get to see each other between 1-3 days a week on average at the moment. But it's fluctuated in the past (periods of more, and sometimes less). 

Hopefully we'll be living together 24/7 sometime next year.


Elektra,
 
i have been in 2 LDRs that we were 2 hours apart but due to our work schedules, we could only see each other on weekends  (both worked second shift jobs while i worked  first shift).  It is good that you can see each other 1-3 days a week (or around that).....and that you will be able to do live in sometime next year.  i bet you can't wait! 
 
Will you let us know? 
 
DG

(in reply to ElektraUkM)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 4:38:13 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

I thought the 1/2 hour drive to Masters house was too long and that seeing him 2X a week wasnt enough  guess Im officialy way more needy then i thought i was

Magik's slave


Yes!   

i was seeing a dom who lived 30 miles from me.  Every night i got off of work....i went to his house.  (i preferred that only because i had a teenage son at home and my dom had nobody).  Sometimes i stayed the night and sometimes i didn't.  At 30 miles away, i saw him every weekend and  a couple of nights a week.  That was great (particularly because my prior relationship was only weekends).
 
We both knew that when my son graduated from high school and went on to college, we would be live in.  But the amount of time we spent together meanwhile was good.
 
1/2 hour away and 2x a week is good  (you lucky SOG  )   Needy.......or spoiled? 
 
DG
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 5:06:28 PM   
SamKeithsslave


Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave


My longest LDR without meeting was 18 months, we lived half a world apart and had very definite plans to get together and eventually be together.
My current LDR - again havent met - has been going for over a year (as friends only). Its been a month long LDR since deciding to be more than friends. I am in Australia, He in Japan - not being great at geography I couldnt say how far apart that is. Having learnt from the rather bad experience of having to have waited 18 months only to find out we wouldnt meet I now have a time frame in which I insist on meeting people in - 2-3 months. I hope to be seeing my new Master before Christmas, all going well he will collar me to make it official. After that? Well presumably we will take steps to be together permanently.


Holy crap!  Australia and Japan?   That  is really LD!   lol 
 
So you think you'll be meeting before Xmas?  How exciting!  i wish you both the best....and please let us know how it goes! 
 
DG


The other one was Australia/USA, and although my Master in Japan is a US marine and so will eventually return to the USA, that could be some time off yet.
I have stated to him that I want to meet with him and meet with him asap, I will not allow myself to get held up in another long term LDR its too difficult. The idea being that if we click we will then look at relocation etc. I will certainly let you know how it all pans out whether it be bad or good.

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 5:07:01 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: losttreasure



It sounds like you are taking it one step at a time.....that sounds great!  Sounds like a live in situation is what you eventually seek.  So you would move there and live alone at first....then perhaps move in with him?
 
Sounds workable.....and wish you the very best 
 
DG

(in reply to losttreasure)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 5:12:14 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

I thought the 1/2 hour drive to Masters house was too long and that seeing him 2X a week wasnt enough  guess Im officialy way more needy then i thought i was

Magik's slave


Yes!   

i was seeing a dom who lived 30 miles from me.  Every night i got off of work....i went to his house.  (i preferred that only because i had a teenage son at home and my dom had nobody).  Sometimes i stayed the night and sometimes i didn't.  At 30 miles away, i saw him every weekend and  a couple of nights a week.  That was great (particularly because my prior relationship was only weekends).
 
We both knew that when my son graduated from high school and went on to college, we would be live in.  But the amount of time we spent together meanwhile was good.
 
1/2 hour away and 2x a week is good  (you lucky SOG  )   Needy.......or spoiled? 
 
DG
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


LOL I was thinking after I wrote this reply how spoiled I must be!!! And its kinda funny becasue a lot of the days I spend with Master time is taken for me to clean his place... So im beeing spoiled by beeing aloud to clean his place LOL this needs to go in the "You may be a servise slave if" LOL

But I have done LDR befor I was with a man who was in florida (Im in NY) for a long time but in the end I just needed to be physicaly able to drive over to his place for a hug on a whim when I felt clingy or sad without it takeing a 2 hour flight and $300... Im very touchy feely type person and as part of a relationship I need hugs and cuddles often and you just cant get that if your so far apart

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 11/19/2006 5:13:09 PM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 5:17:05 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl


If in an LDR, how long have you been involved?
How far apart do you live?
How often do you get to see each other?
Do you have any definite plans of eventually living together?



My ex-fiancee and I lived five hours apart and we were together for almost a year. My current dominant and I were together almost six months when he had to move away. Since then we have made the four and a half hour drive to each other twice a month, altnerating who drives. After about almost  7 months of this, he will be moving back at the end of this month.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 5:17:35 PM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalira

NO. Both of us are content with our relationship and are more than happy to keep it so.


Kalira,
 
It seemed to me you mentioned you have kids.  Does this play any role in your decision? 
 
You don't say how long you have been doing this....but do you think that someday (perhaps when the situation is different) you will consider live in?
 
DG

Yes, I have a teenager, and yes, it played a big part in the weeding out process for me when I was searching. I have no desire to put her in a position of having someone move in with me, nor will I consider breaking a promise I made to her when we came back north.

I was fortunate that Master did not desire a live in either , though I will admit that I do wish we lived closer to each other.

As for whether or not living together is a possiblity in the future. I don't see it happening. Master and I have talked about this and he perfers his own space to that of sharing with another. I have been on my own for so long that I do not believe that I could live with another again in that capacity.



_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 5:20:20 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

If in an LDR, how long have you been involved?

 
OK, here goes.  Angel and I are in an LDR.  We have been together since May in varying degrees of seriousness. He got his collar Sept 13, still long dstance.
quote:
How far apart do you live?

I am in Las Vegas, he is in Nashville. So, entirely too far.
quote:
How often do you get to see each other?

We've seen one another 2 times so far face to face. We talk on the phone about 2 times a week on average, but actual time together has been painfully limited.
quote:
Do you have any definite plans of eventually living together?
 

Definite plans, no. Theoretical, so far.  I am moving to Nashville in a few months (if all goes well).  AS far as it stands now, he is going to stay on campus for his last semester. We will be much closer, 15 minutes instead of 8-10 hours travel time to see one another. After graduation the plan as it stands is to have him move in with me, and preferably to start looking for a house.

It has not been easy, working around a senior year college schedule.  However, I refuse to come before school, his education is too important for that.  We do what we can.  Holidays apart are the hardest thing. Hopfully that wont be a problem in the near future.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 5:28:43 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candyslave

LDR's are tough .. but, have their advantages ...

They wear on the heart, mind and spirit, but, absence makes the heart grow fonder.. too.. so, it is possible to balance if you can live with the constant yearning.. i can't.. personally, i live with my dom and am with him 24/7 .. as he works from home and i'm a stay at home sub/slave/masochist/wife... you would think i'd be busier than i actually am... hmm..

candy


candy,
 
i agree.....LDRs are tough.  i think it is a constant yearning.  That is how i felt and my only saving grace was knowing we would be together someday....all the time.  i think most in LDRs do strive for eventual 24/7.  Some may take longer than others but hey....we do what we feel is going to work for us.
 
i see that some are dead set against LDRs.  i don't think that's a bad thing.  When i first got into D/s, i could absolutely not do LD because i had a teenage son who was not willing to relocate then (he wanted to finish school with his friends).  Yes, i felt limited, but i also felt 'my day would come'...when he grew older and i was free to move around as i felt.
 
i would do LD now....but only with the result of eventually being live in.  And yes, that may take some time....but i would take the gander.  As you say.....they are tough but have their advantages 
 
DG

(in reply to candyslave)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 5:54:59 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

We haven't discussed it as of yet.

 
LDR's have complications but so do all relationships. You just deal with them as they surface and do your best to work through them. Everything happens in it's own time and trying to rush things usully just breeds failure or disapointment.


akisha,
 
In the very first 2 relationships i was in, we never talked about a live in situation.  In restospect, i was just starting out and all i knew was i could not relocate then.  In all honesty, we never really discussed that.  We shared what we could and it was what it was.
 
i think what the 'eye opener' was for me was when the second dom moved by me (long story).....and it didn't go so well.  Honestly...i could not have imagined that (and i still think it was a fluke...perhaps something i could share someday?).
 
i really don't think that not discussing it in 5 months is a bad thing....but i can't help to think that at some point it might be a topic to discuss.  Or do you feel that what you are doing could go on indefinitely....without the long term coming up?
 
i am really not judging what you do...just wondering if you think what you are doing now might lead to something more.  Or maybe that's just not a thought for either of you right now?
 
DG

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 6:18:20 PM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline 		*fast reply*

Master and I started out as a LDR (He in Sydney Australia I in New Zealand). Six months after our friendship turned into something more I moved to be with Him, and we have been together now for nearly 3 years.

I seriously doubt whether I could do a LDR with no possibility of meeting the person. Since we've been together Master and I have had to be apart 3 times - once when I went back to NZ to pack up and move here (which took 6 long weeks), and twice for 2 weeks when my father was ill and then when he died. Even though we had online contact during those times the waiting was very hard and coping with my father's illness and then his funeral without Master there was almost unbearable (He is unable to travel because of His health).

(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 6:20:02 PM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline 		If in an LDR, how long have you been involved?
We meet 4 and half years ago. I have been owned by him a little over 2 years.
How far apart do you live?
We live 2- 2 1/2 hours apart.
How often do you get to see each other?
As often as our busy lives allow us to but not as often as i would like.
Do you have any definite plans of eventually living together?
We have no plan to live together but we do have plans for me to move closer in the near future.

_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"



(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 6:23:16 PM   
LadyAlaria


Posts: 11
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline
If in an LDR, how long have you been involved?
About six months
How far apart do you live?
Currently 2500 miles, but in a couple of months it will be shortened to an 8 hour drive.
How often do you get to see each other?
Not often enough and it's looking to be 3 months or so before I see him again.
Do you have any definite plans of eventually living together?
This is something we've recently started discussing but have no definite plans as of yet.

LDR's are never easy, but with patience and tenacity, they can work if both people put forth the effort.  Communication is always important, but more so when you are far apart. 



(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 6:34:22 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		If in an LDR, how long have you been involved?
About 2 1/2 years

How far apart do you live?
We live 2 hours apart.

How often do you get to see each other?
As often as we can (I'm quasi-plagiarizing from Peach) - sometimes just once a month, sometimes more.  Sometimes for weekends at a time, sometimes I'll drive down for a quick visit, sometimes I might travel with him.  It just depends.

Do you have any definite plans of eventually living together?
We have no plans to live together but we have talked about me moving closer to him.  We shall see.


Edited for spelling.

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 11/19/2006 6:44:11 PM >

(in reply to LaMspeach)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: LDRs and you - 11/19/2006 6:47:46 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

This kind of stems from some thoughts i had while reading another thread.  The more i read here, the more i am realizing that a lot of couples are in LDRs.  So i am wondering:
 
If in an LDR, how long have you been involved?
How far apart do you live?
How often do you get to see each other?
Do you have any definite plans of eventually living together?
 
Thanks,
DG


kyra and I have been building a relationship for just over two years when we first came across each other online.  It was about 6 months after we crossed paths that she came to Edmonton the first time.  Since that time we see each other about every 2-3 months.  In fact even as I write this post.. alandra and I are in Florida with kyra for some quality time together.  We currently are about 3000 miles apart, but kyra's application is being processed through the Canadian Immigration process and hopely in about another 12-18 months she will be moving in the cold north to keep me warm.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 40
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