RE: LDRs and you

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LuckyAlbatross -> RE: LDRs and you (11/19/2006 7:02:14 PM)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_555442/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#555476 How do you cope? http://www.collarchat.com/m_399208/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#399230 Long distance relationships...how do you all make them work and overcome the obstacles that arise? http://www.collarchat.com/m_358232/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#358330 When the Master is away http://www.collarchat.com/m_243191/mpage_2/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#243396 Online or Distance relationships http://www.collarchat.com/m_5502/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#207957 Long Distance Relationships http://www.collarchat.com/m_214831/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#214831 Long distance d/s http://www.collarchat.com/m_210165/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#210165 Pleasing my master long distance http://www.collarchat.com/m_131170/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#131170 In Between Visits http://www.collarchat.com/m_124826/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#124826 LDR and sickness or death http://www.collarchat.com/m_89834/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#89834 Long distance punishment ideas http://www.collarchat.com/m_22973/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#22973 Long Distance Relationship (2) http://www.collarchat.com/m_5502/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#5502 Long Distance Relationships (2) http://www.collarchat.com/m_3521/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#3521 Long Distance http://www.collarchat.com/m_272610/mpage_1/key_LDR/tm.htm#272610 LDR D/s ideas http://www.collarchat.com/m_108560/mpage_1/key_LDR/tm.htm#108560 Long Distance Relationships????

akisha -> RE: LDRs and you (11/19/2006 7:30:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl quote: ORIGINAL: akisha We haven't discussed it as of yet. LDR's have complications but so do all relationships. You just deal with them as they surface and do your best to work through them. Everything happens in it's own time and trying to rush things usully just breeds failure or disapointment. akisha, In the very first 2 relationships i was in, we never talked about a live in situation. In restospect, i was just starting out and all i knew was i could not relocate then. In all honesty, we never really discussed that. We shared what we could and it was what it was. i think what the 'eye opener' was for me was when the second dom moved by me (long story).....and it didn't go so well. Honestly...i could not have imagined that (and i still think it was a fluke...perhaps something i could share someday?). Always welcome to share S i really don't think that not discussing it in 5 months is a bad thing....but i can't help to think that at some point it might be a topic to discuss. Or do you feel that what you are doing could go on indefinitely....without the long term coming up? *i am really not judging what you do...just wondering if you think what you are doing now might* lead to something more. Or maybe that's just not a thought for either of you right now?** DG For me I think after 5 months if we were making plans to move in together i would be a lil nervous. My ex husband and i moved intogether with in a couple months of meeting and well to be honest. I probably should have taken more time getting to know him. With luck the divorce will be finialized in the begining of the new year [:D] For me to move is not really possible at the moment and He's on contract for a few more months with his job. And things are working as they are so far. I take each day as it comes and enjoy what we have. As for not discussing it.. I don't view it as a bad thing at all. I don't stress over what is or is not going to happen in the furture. All that would do is cause me to be stressed out and high strung. Two things that are very counter productive to ones health and to a relationship. If someone would have asked me if i'd ever consider seeing someone that i only got to see for a few days a month, or be willing to drive 6 hours to see for only a couple of days, I would have laffed and said not a chance in hell. But things change. Ideas change. Sometimes you just feel it's worth the extra effort. Will it still be worth it a year from now? I don't know, but I think so. Am i willing to do the long distance thing forever? Probably not, but I can't say that for sure, nor can i put a time limit on how long it will work for. All I can do is try my best, give it my all and hope for the best. If it does end, then i know i did all i could to make it work and i have the memories of what ever time we had together. If it moves into a long term permanent relationship, well then ofcourse i'll be happy S There is no right amount of time or wrong amount of time. We all do what works best for us in the relationship we are in. Plus I admit, I have a tendancy to be commitment shy, as I have trust issues. I will say this... This is the first relationship in 15 years that I've felt almost instantly at ease. I've trusted him more and faster then probably any other guy i've been with. Complete honesty is not an issue. And strangely enough, even when i didn't get to see him for over 36 days once, I had no desire or inclination to go sleep with someone else. That right there says alot, to me anyway. S

losttreasure -> RE: LDRs and you (11/19/2006 8:09:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl quote: ORIGINAL: losttreasure It sounds like you are taking it one step at a time.....that sounds great! Sounds like a live in situation is what you eventually seek. So you would move there and live alone at first....then perhaps move in with him? Sounds workable.....and wish you the very best [&:] DG Thank you, DG. [:D] Yes, I will live by myself at first, but I can safely say for FirmHandKY, as well as myself, that a live-in situation is our ultimate goal. Whether I eventually move in with him, him with me, or we find someplace new together remains to be decided. While being so close to him yet still separate will be tortuous, we do want to be realistic about it. A move to a new city and a new position can be stressful enough; melding lives and learning to live with someone... no matter how much I love and adore him... at the same time, would be a huge risk. This relationship means too much to us to not give it the time and care that it deserves.

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 3:37:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lenis Yes, we will be moving in at the end of the month. Oh....good for you two! [sm=banana.gif] I have had a couple really good LDR's and one brutal one. I do like being able to date someone local, but when 99% of the local women turn you off, you look elsewhere. That's funny because that's how it seemed to be for me too. Because i couldn't initially relocate, i only looked locally and for some reason, that just was not happening [&o] Besides, the relationship I am in now just happened over time. i think i could do something like that.....an 'over time' thing. Seems you would really get to know a lot about someone after knowing them for 2 years....and you're not jumping into anything obviously. But that sounds great! Best of luck to you both [&:] DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 3:43:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion half hour is a piece of cake, and 2xs a week is still more than most us me included get Feline, Are you hanging in there? Your thread is what prompted me to start this. Hope you are feeling better about your situation. [&:] i think you're going to do just fine. Just hang in there [;)] DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 3:52:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: meatcleaver Same here. Once is enough and never again. They are also so irrational. It is easier to turn the computer off and walk outside and find someone. meatcleaver, i did get the impression (from some of your other posts) that LD did not work out for you and you were pretty much dead set against it. But as you can see, they do work for a lot of others. i know that sometimes a bad experience can turn us against something....but is closing that door really to your benefit? Have you really had much luck with 'walking outside and finding someone'? (particularly someone into D/s?) You sound like an intelligent man. i think something will come up for you (as i remain hopeful it will for me too)....but some time, you might just have to take that chance again. Best of luck with that, whichever route you take [;)] DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 3:57:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gypsygrl This is really interesting to me because it made me think of something similar (but, its not a comment on your post, just a jumping off, if that makes sense). For about a year and a half I was in a short distance relationship (20 min away) and we saw each other a couple times a week but it never seemed to be enough, and no matter how much we saw each other, something was always off and I felt like I needed to see him more. Following that relationship, I was involved with someone for about 2 years who lived about 3 hours away and we only saw each other once a month or every 6 weeks but, for the most part, I was satisfied. The quality of the interaction was much better. So, being a social scientist, and having been trained in data analysis, this would suggest that distance, in and of itself, is not necessarily an issue. At least for me. That is kind of weird gypsy. But hey, we just never know what's going to rock our boat, do we? i personally have had good luck with my LDRs....and even though they did not work out, they were overall positive experiences. So i have to agree....the distance was not an issue for me either. So are you having much luck in this wonderful CNY? [:D] DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 4:02:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied If in an LDR, how long have you been involved? 10 months (if you are talking from when we met in real time) How far apart do you live? 230 miles How often do you get to see each other? Twice per month Do you have any definite plans of eventually living together? No. Hmmm....no plans at all Katy? Ever? lol But i am curious. Was this something you and your partner agreed upon right at the beginning....or was this determined as things went on? DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 4:05:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: QuietDom CT is in Hawai'i. What most of us might consider a 'reasonable driving distance,' she can't drive unless she borrows James Bond's Lotus Esprit. LOL Poor crouch...she just can't catch a break [:D] DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 4:12:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave The other one was Australia/USA, and although my Master in Japan is a US marine and so will eventually return to the USA, that could be some time off yet. I have stated to him that I want to meet with him and meet with him asap, I will not allow myself to get held up in another long term LDR its too difficult. The idea being that if we click we will then look at relocation etc. I will certainly let you know how it all pans out whether it be bad or good. Ohhhh....a Marine....oo-la-la! [:D] (my son's a Marine so i'm a bit partial....lol) i would do that too...at least meet to make sure well, he's 'real' [:)] and to see if you click in person. In my 'early days', i would chat a long time before meeting, only for that to bomb. No, i didn't like that [sm=m23.gif] So at least get the meet out of the way and take it from there. Sounds smart to me! [&:] DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 4:18:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave LOL I was thinking after I wrote this reply how spoiled I must be!!! And its kinda funny becasue a lot of the days I spend with Master time is taken for me to clean his place... So im beeing spoiled by beeing aloud to clean his place LOL this needs to go in the "You may be a servise slave if" LOL Yes....lol But I have done LDR befor I was with a man who was in florida (Im in NY) for a long time but in the end I just needed to be physicaly able to drive over to his place for a hug on a whim when I felt clingy or sad without it takeing a 2 hour flight and $300... Im very touchy feely type person and as part of a relationship I need hugs and cuddles often and you just cant get that if your so far apart i know.....the distance is a pain when you 'just need a hug'. i remember when my mom was sick and i wished my partner could be there right then....just for a hug. But that wasn't happenin' [&o] i guess the 'over the phone hug' had to suffice [:D] DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 4:22:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub My ex-fiancee and I lived five hours apart and we were together for almost a year. My current dominant and I were together almost six months when he had to move away. Since then we have made the four and a half hour drive to each other twice a month, altnerating who drives. After about almost 7 months of this, he will be moving back at the end of this month. Ohhhh, that's tough when your partner has to leave after being together [:'(] But you made it through the rough time....and now he's coming back? Good for you Aqua. Hope all works out for you two [&:] DG

KatyLied -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 4:51:54 AM)
quote: Hmmm....no plans at all Katy? Ever? lol Yep, we like the things the way they are.

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 4:58:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kalira Yes, I have a teenager, and yes, it played a big part in the weeding out process for me when I was searching. I have no desire to put her in a position of having someone move in with me, nor will I consider breaking a promise I made to her when we came back north. That's how it was with my son. i promised him i wouldn't relocate at least until he graduated from high school (then he was going on to college so that would be okay). Well as it turns out, he's in college but still living here....and i still don't have a partner....lol....so i guess that wasn't a problem afterall. I was fortunate that Master did not desire a live in either [:)], though I will admit that I do wish we lived closer to each other. i hear that! [&:] As for whether or not living together is a possiblity in the future. I don't see it happening. Master and I have talked about this and he perfers his own space to that of sharing with another. I have been on my own for so long that I do not believe that I could live with another again in that capacity. This really is interesting. i've noticed with myself that the longer i stay single, the less i mind my time alone. And i'm never lonely because i have all kinds of people constantly dropping by (i sometimes pray for alone time....lol) So i wonder if you'll feel any differently when your daughter eventually leaves? Well, if that does change, be sure to let us know [:)] DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 5:00:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied Yep, we like the things the way they are. You and Kalira....lol DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 5:05:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire Definite plans, no. Theoretical, so far. I am moving to Nashville in a few months (if all goes well). AS far as it stands now, he is going to stay on campus for his last semester. We will be much closer, 15 minutes instead of 8-10 hours travel time to see one another. After graduation the plan as it stands is to have him move in with me, and preferably to start looking for a house. It has not been easy, working around a senior year college schedule. However, I refuse to come before school, his education is too important for that. We do what we can. Holidays apart are the hardest thing. Hopfully that wont be a problem in the near future. DV Oh how exciting! You are both so lucky you were able to work something out to be closer. i can't wait to hear how it goes for you two. Keep us posted? [;)] DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 5:11:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rayne58 fast reply Master and I started out as a LDR (He in Sydney Australia I in New Zealand). Six months after our friendship turned into something more I moved to be with Him, and we have been together now for nearly 3 years. I seriously doubt whether I could do a LDR with no possibility of meeting the person. Since we've been together Master and I have had to be apart 3 times - once when I went back to NZ to pack up and move here (which took 6 long weeks), and twice for 2 weeks when my father was ill and then when he died. Even though we had online contact during those times the waiting was very hard and coping with my father's illness and then his funeral without Master there was almost unbearable (He is unable to travel because of His health). *Now that's* a love story! It really is so nice to hear that LDRs did work into something positive for couples. And that's why i never give up hope. Thanks for sharing [&:]** DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 5:23:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaMspeach If in an LDR, how long have you been involved? We meet 4 and half years ago. I have been owned by him a little over 2 years. How far apart do you live? We live 2- 2 1/2 hours apart. How often do you get to see each other? As often as our busy lives allow us to but not as often as i would like. Do you have any definite plans of eventually living together? We have no plan to live together but we do have plans for me to move closer in the near future. peach, One of my former partners was 2 hours away. At first, that sounded like a piece of cake but in reality, because i worked days and he worked nights, we could only see each other on weekends. i would drive over there on Fri nights when i got off of work....and wait for him until he got home from work. Then i had to leave early Sunday evening [:'(] So even 2 hours sounds close but it really isn't when you consider the round trip...especially during the week and if you both work. *So you'll move closer but not live with him, huh? i sit here and wonder if i'd be able to do that...or if i'd be so excited, i'd just have to* move in with him [:D] In any event, that sounds like some good news. my best to you both [&:]** DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 5:33:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAlaria If in an LDR, how long have you been involved? About six months How far apart do you live? Currently 2500 miles, but in a couple of months it will be shortened to an 8 hour drive. How often do you get to see each other? Not often enough and it's looking to be 3 months or so before I see him again. Do you have any definite plans of eventually living together? This is something we've recently started discussing but have no definite plans as of yet. LDR's are never easy, but with patience and tenacity, they can work if both people put forth the effort. Communication is always important, but more so when you are far apart. LadyAlaria, i absolutely agree! i have to admit that i did have my doubts at one time....until i actually did it myself. i was seeing a dom in CA for a while (and i'm in NY!)....and the distance really worked out okay (that ended for other reasons). He actually flew me out there about every 6-8 weeks, around holidays or when i could get a long weekend. And i also spent 10 days with him over a Xmas holiday and that was heaven! [:)] No, it wasn't ideal but it was the best we could do at that time....and it really did work. *But you are right....it does take patience, effort and lots* of communication. So an 8 hour drive will be a piece of cake, no? LOL Hope all goes well for you [&:]** DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 5:54:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie If in an LDR, how long have you been involved? About 2 1/2 years How far apart do you live? We live 2 hours apart. How often do you get to see each other? As often as we can (I'm quasi-plagiarizing from Peach) - sometimes just once a month, sometimes more. Sometimes for weekends at a time, sometimes I'll drive down for a quick visit, sometimes I might travel with him. It just depends. Do you have any definite plans of eventually living together? We have no plans to live together but we have talked about me moving closer to him. We shall see. Edited for spelling. Hmmm....another one who isn't planning on moving in? i am really learning something from this thread. i don't know why i had never really thought of that option....living close by but not together. scratches head As i said in an earlier post owned, 2 hours doesn't sound very far but it can be a royal pain at times. But it sounds like you've made it work out for quite some time now. Hope all goes well for you when you do make your move [&:] DG

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