RE: LDRs and you

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adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 6:01:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists kyra and I have been building a relationship for just over two years when we first came across each other online. It was about 6 months after we crossed paths that she came to Edmonton the first time. Since that time we see each other about every 2-3 months. In fact even as I write this post.. alandra and I are in Florida with kyra for some quality time together. We currently are about 3000 miles apart, but kyra's application is being processed through the Canadian Immigration process and hopely in about another 12-18 months she will be moving in the cold north to keep me warm. See now this really surprises me. i guess i just had the impression that kyra already lived with you. Wow....12-18 months...bet she can't wait! Until i went to CA, i would never have thought 3000 miles apart could work....but i see now that it can, and does. That is really refreshing [:)] Well good luck to you all KoM....and thanks for sharing. i again learned something new! [&:] DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 6:06:09 AM)
You know LA, i did do a search (my first!) on this before i started but i just couldn't see the information i was really looking for there (albeit i didn't read all of them....there was just so many!) But thanks for sharing [&:] Some day i may go back and look them over. DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 6:22:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: akisha For me I think after 5 months if we were making plans to move in together i would be a lil nervous. My ex husband and i moved intogether with in a couple months of meeting and well to be honest. I probably should have taken more time getting to know him. With luck the divorce will be finialized in the begining of the new year [:D] Yay! [sm=banana.gif] For me to move is not really possible at the moment and He's on contract for a few more months with his job. And things are working as they are so far. I take each day as it comes and enjoy what we have. Yep...i hear that! As for not discussing it.. I don't view it as a bad thing at all. I don't stress over what is or is not going to happen in the furture. All that would do is cause me to be stressed out and high strung. Two things that are very counter productive to ones health and to a relationship. Yep again [:D] If someone would have asked me if i'd ever consider seeing someone that i only got to see for a few days a month, or be willing to drive 6 hours to see for only a couple of days, I would have laffed and said not a chance in hell. But things change. Ideas change. Sometimes you just feel it's worth the extra effort. Will it still be worth it a year from now? I don't know, but I think so. That is exactly what i would have said too....until i did it. Am i willing to do the long distance thing forever? Probably not, but I can't say that for sure, nor can i put a time limit on how long it will work for. All I can do is try my best, give it my all and hope for the best. *That's all we can* do, right?** If it does end, then i know i did all i could to make it work and i have the memories of what ever time we had together. If it moves into a long term permanent relationship, well then ofcourse i'll be happy S i don't regret any of my LDRs, even though they didn't work out. They were actually good experiences for me (overall). There is no right amount of time or wrong amount of time. We all do what works best for us in the relationship we are in. Plus I admit, I have a tendancy to be commitment shy, as I have trust issues. In all honesty, one reason i thought i could not do LD was because i also have some trust issues (of sorts). But somehow, i was able to get past that....and that sometimes still amazes me. I will say this... This is the first relationship in 15 years that I've felt almost instantly at ease. I've trusted him more and faster then probably any other guy i've been with. Complete honesty is not an issue. And strangely enough, even when i didn't get to see him for over 36 days once, I had no desire or inclination to go sleep with someone else. That right there says alot, to me anyway. S That was me too. i couldn't believe how easily i slipped into that with my first daddy dom. And i had no desire to be intimate with anyone else either. As a matter of fact, i even shied away from other guys because i didn't want them to ask me out. And that was a first for me....lol. Good luck to you [;)]

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 6:27:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: losttreasure Thank you, DG. [:D] Yes, I will live by myself at first, but I can safely say for FirmHandKY, as well as myself, that a live-in situation is our ultimate goal. Whether I eventually move in with him, him with me, or we find someplace new together remains to be decided. While being so close to him yet still separate will be tortuous, we do want to be realistic about it. A move to a new city and a new position can be stressful enough; melding lives and learning to live with someone... no matter how much I love and adore him... at the same time, would be a huge risk. This relationship means too much to us to not give it the time and care that it deserves. Torturous....good word...lol. When i've mused over relocating, i've thought the same thing about what a big change that is. New city...new job...and then of course, actually living with someone else. That is a big step. But it sounds like you are both handling it very wisely. According to my crystal ball (lol), you two are going to do just fine [&:] DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 6:40:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: If in an LDR, how long have you been involved? Started talking early March, met in early May, have been involved since. quote: How far apart do you live? About 4 or 4 1/2 hours, 6 by train quote: How often do you get to see each other? Not as often as I would like...lol. We should be able to see a lot more of each other in the coming months because of our "stuff" we have been getting done, I am hoping to see him this week...Big Grins quote: Do you have any definite plans of eventually living together? That is what we are both working toward in a way that will be good for everyone. It is the goal. i don't know why i thought you and Sinergy lived closer together. Well, another thing learned [8\|] *But i really don't know how you're going to pin that one* down julia. He is just always so busy.....lol BTW...i saved your post for last because i wanted to 'extend an olive branch' (as Rover would say...lol).......if you are so inclined. i realize we got off to a rocky start but i would like to put that behind us, if possible. So whaddaya say?** DG

Tikkiee -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 7:08:03 AM)
quote: If in an LDR, how long have you been involved? Hmm, since May, right around in that area quote: How far apart do you live? Too far, way, way too far. DFW/Moody Texas here, and he lives in Va quote: How often do you get to see each other? Because of school on my end, not enough. Maybe once every couple months. quote: Do you have any definite plans of eventually living together? Yes

Lenis -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 7:29:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: meatcleaver Same here. Once is enough and never again. They are also so irrational. It is easier to turn the computer off and walk outside and find someone. One of my LDR relationships was with a girl I met in school and lived at the other end of the state (Michigan, we went to school near canada and she lived near Detroit). A trip to see her one way was 5-6 hrs, more if it was snowing so I consider that a LDR. -Brian

ownedgirlie -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 7:49:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie If in an LDR, how long have you been involved? About 2 1/2 years How far apart do you live? We live 2 hours apart. How often do you get to see each other? As often as we can (I'm quasi-plagiarizing from Peach) - sometimes just once a month, sometimes more. Sometimes for weekends at a time, sometimes I'll drive down for a quick visit, sometimes I might travel with him. It just depends. Do you have any definite plans of eventually living together? We have no plans to live together but we have talked about me moving closer to him. We shall see. Edited for spelling. Hmmm....another one who isn't planning on moving in? i am really learning something from this thread. i don't know why i had never really thought of that option....living close by but not together. scratches head As i said in an earlier post owned, 2 hours doesn't sound very far but it can be a royal pain at times. But it sounds like you've made it work out for quite some time now. Hope all goes well for you when you do make your move [&:] DG It's not so foreign a concept. He has no desire to move his slave into his home, but would like me to be closer and more available to his beck and call. However, he supported my desire to stay put and take care of my Dad who was terminally ill, so I stayed. Now with my Mom having such a hard time, I will stay until she gets on her feet. The distance has never really caused major challenges. Our relationship, while very sensual, is based on an intense emotional/mental/energy bond that is experienced no matter where the other is. I do miss him terribly sometimes, but I have come to embrace those feelings of insatiably craving him. Sometimes I feel I might crawl out of my skin, and when I physically ache for him like that, some of my best writing and self reflection is realized, and the bond strengthens. He tends to love it when I pine silently for him, and then tremble with excitement when he beckons. It works for us.

wyngedbyste -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 8:01:32 AM)
If in an LDR, how long have you been involved? 4+ years How far apart do you live? 3,000 miles How often do you get to see each other? Once so far, but we're planning another meeting. Now that some funds have become available, I hope to see him at least once a year. Do you have any definite plans of eventually living together? No. I like living alone. I'd like us to live closer, though, and I'll probably move to be near him in the next five years.

KatyLied -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 8:57:57 AM)
quote: You and Kalira....lol It is interesting to see how people react in their relationships. I was married for 19 years, I've been single for almost 10. I really enjoy having my own space. I have a home and kids and I'm not in a rush to join families, assets and debts. I don't have living together or marriage as a longterm goal for a relationship. I enjoy the excitement of coming together after being apart for a few weeks, and I think a day to day existence would take that away. I wouldn't rule out living with someone, but I'm really wary of going into a situation like that.

Nikolette -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 9:46:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl This kind of stems from some thoughts i had while reading another thread. The more i read here, the more i am realizing that a lot of couples are in LDRs. So i am wondering: If in an LDR, how long have you been involved? How far apart do you live? How often do you get to see each other? Do you have any definite plans of eventually living together? Thanks, DG Just a month or so... But we'd been good friends for a couple years. About an hour and 45 minutes. Never so far, but he's coming up this weekend. Not really. But we have discussed staying close by. I'd like to see him be closer to me in the reasonably near future. My other slave and I are currently living together. We started of as a LDR though. Him in Boston, and me in Missouri. I had known him about four months before we met. He came and stayed with me for a month, and then we decided for me to have a trial live in period with him, it worked out fine and we've been living together for about a year and a half now. The main reason why there aren't plans to have the other submissive live in is a need for functionality in all of our lives. Polyamory has proved to be a difficult thing for some people to adjust to (especially with the female being in the primary role). I want to have children at some point, and I also want to remain polyamorous. I think it would work best if my other subs/slaves lived very close, but not in the same home because of that.

Decadentpleasure -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 10:10:08 AM)
Master and i have been Together 3yrs come dec. The distance between Us depends upon where He is stationed as He is military. Our being Together also depends upon location as We make a point of seeing Each Other every 2 months unless impossible like when He was deployed...and yep We do plan on making a permanent move to be Together but only once He's retired...2yrs away..p-a-t-i-e-n-c-e ..gawds i so hate that word sometimes..lol. i believe Our relationship has survived where so many others have failed is because We are open and honest with Each Other and the trust is firmly in place. It has to be or it won't work.

damia -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 10:16:17 AM)
my Master and i have been friends for six months, dating for two of those months, and i am officially His slave as of a week ago. He is at Fort Bragg in Fayetteville, North Carolina, and i am in Reston, Virginia (near Washington, D.C.). How often we see each other depends on several things: His work, my work, SCA events, His car's problems, and local BDSM stuff. It's been generally every two to three weeks. We also talk on the phone almost every day, e-mail when we don't have enough time for talking on the phone (such as a quick question or update on time off of work and/or availability for a weekend). Plans for living together depends on a few things. One, we'd have to be married, because as a single soldier, He lives in the barracks. Two, i'd have to be able to find a job in the area that i can do and will be happy with (i take my work home with me, so if i'm not happy with work, i'm not happy in general). And it also depends on how we feel in the long run. We're pretty new to this relationship, and are taking it slow. Living together is not the immediate future. damia the Kat

sapphirepleasure -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 11:13:27 AM)
I am currently under consideration by a dom who lives in Europe, while I live in New Mexico. We have been friends online and by phone since April or May, and in October, he came and spent 3 or 4 days with me. He plans to return soon (hopefully in December or as soon after that as possible) for a longer visit, and if it goes well, he plans to move here in the Spring. sp

SweetSarijane -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 11:19:54 AM)
For me, it's been almost a year LDR. We are keeping it as friends though until we meet face to face. Most of our communication is through emails, with IM chats when we can and occasional phone calls. He's in Mississippi and I'm in Missouri. He is in and out of the country regularly. He works on offshore oil rigs in Angola 28 days on and 28 days off right now. If all goes well, we will meet face to face by the end of this year and if not, then as soon as possible after that, so we can see where this may be going for us. Neither of us wants to get too involved if in person it's just not there between us and we are both rather gunshy due to past relationships gone bad.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 11:20:45 AM)
I feel a bit better knowing that my LDR isnt the only one out there where contact is somewhat limited face to face. While I have the trust necessary not to worry when he is away, I still dont like it. For instance, he had to leave the dorms for the thanksgiving break and he is spending a few daysdown in FL with a group of friends. I wont talk to him while he is down there at all, we both agreed he wouldnt have to set aside time with the friends he never sees to talk to me. I come second to school (my insistance) and as a senior that eats up a lot of his time. I have had second thoughts about how wel the relationship would work in the beginning. I have done the LDR thing before with disasterous results, and what with considering the move, I was worried. When it is right, though, the distance doesnt seem to matter anymore. We could be 100 miles away, or 1000 and whatever we needed to do to be together we would have done. I didnt realize either that so many of our relationshops were still distance. For someo reason, I assumed I was one of the crazy few trying it this way. DV

ElektraUkM -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 12:31:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl quote: ORIGINAL: ElektraUkM I've been with my Master for 2 and a half years. The first year of that was online. We live about 2 hours apart (by car). We get to see each other between 1-3 days a week on average at the moment. But it's fluctuated in the past (periods of more, and sometimes less). Hopefully we'll be living together 24/7 sometime next year. Elektra, i have been in 2 LDRs that we were 2 hours apart but due to our work schedules, we could only see each other on weekends (both worked second shift jobs while i worked first shift). It is good that you can see each other 1-3 days a week (or around that).....and that you will be able to do live in sometime next year. i bet you can't wait! [&:] Will you let us know? [:)] DG Hello adaddysgirl. You're absolutely right I can't wait! I'll certainly want to share what it's like... it's been such a long time coming, so much backwarding and forwarding! But somehow we've managed to make each phase of the relationship worthwhile. But whoever said they didn't think it could really work unless there was a long-term goal of being together I think is probably near the mark. Certainly I couldn't live like this for a lot longer... there's always the future to aim for, and eventual togetherness.

notjustsomesub -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 12:54:49 PM)
I used to say this was a hard limit. smile He is in Colorado, I am in California. We "met" online June 2nd, face to face June 10th, and have seen each other for a minimum of 3 days every 2 weeks since. What the future holds, I won't predict. I am uncollared but content at this time.

brightspot -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 1:07:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl This kind of stems from some thoughts i had while reading another thread. The more i read here, the more i am realizing that a lot of couples are in LDRs. So i am wondering: If in an LDR, how long have you been involved? How far apart do you live? How often do you get to see each other? Do you have any definite plans of eventually living together? Thanks, DG I was in a LDR for 2 years. I am in Minneapolis, she in Chicago. Thats about a 7 hour drive. I would travel to Chicago and stay 2 or 3 months and then return home for a month or so to take care of some business of mine here, the things I couldn't do over the PC. We did have plans for me to eventually move to Chicago but some crisis happened with-in her personal family and she worked 2 very stressful jobs. The crisis overwhelmed and began to consume her life. We had long discussions and we agreed that right now she could not be the Domina she desired to be to me and it was very important to her that with a power dynamic relationship that the power exchange happen in a way both partners were getting their needs meet. So we decided to part as a D/s couple but remain good friends and very supportive of each other. Certain parts of her life are still chaotic and I am there as much as I can be and the same goes for her being there when I am going through a tough time. It was hard for me to adjust at first but I do still treaure the friendship that remains and think we will be life-long friends. Right now I would prefer to meet someone local but for the right woman I would again consider a LDR, but it would have to have consistant structure and a knowing that after a certain time we desired to be together in one place. I leave this option open because after some things come to completion for me here in Minneapolis I want to move and experiment living in a different part of the country. *Brightspot

SamKeithsslave -> RE: LDRs and you (11/20/2006 8:18:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl quote: ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave The other one was Australia/USA, and although my Master in Japan is a US marine and so will eventually return to the USA, that could be some time off yet. I have stated to him that I want to meet with him and meet with him asap, I will not allow myself to get held up in another long term LDR its too difficult. The idea being that if we click we will then look at relocation etc. I will certainly let you know how it all pans out whether it be bad or good. Ohhhh....a Marine....oo-la-la! [:D] (my son's a Marine so i'm a bit partial....lol) i would do that too...at least meet to make sure well, he's 'real' [:)] and to see if you click in person. In my 'early days', i would chat a long time before meeting, only for that to bomb. No, i didn't like that [sm=m23.gif] So at least get the meet out of the way and take it from there. Sounds smart to me! [&:] DG Well seems my wait isnt going to be too long, he has applied for some leave 15-29 Jan (so if I disappear then you will know why - LOL). I dont see why he wouldnt get it and in the mean time I have lots to keep me busy. Being in Australia our kids start summer holidays soon, then theres Christmas to be thinking of etc so before I know it it will mid January. Marines, got to love men in uniform whether it be fatgiues, overalls or their blues :-)

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